Shattered Pieces
by MissMonk
Summary: When Katherine possessed Elena, she broke Damon's heart, breaking what tiny bit of stability and sanity he had left. Now with Elena back in herself Stefan, with her help must find Damon and help him before he's out of their reach forever. (Delena compliant)
1. Chapter 1

A/N: So, I'm giving Vampire Diaries fanfic writing another chance even though my last one kinda flopped I guess. This will be multi-chaptered. probably around 25-30. I generally post one chapter per week and if I must skip due to work I always mention it so never fear this story will be finished. I haven't had an unfinished one yet.

On to the story. Thank you Charahkids for betaing it for me.

Timeline Note: Its S5. Everything is Canon through mid season and with Katherine taking over Elena's body. This story however completely ignores the vampire cannibal virus.

Chapter 1

He couldn't believe everything that had happened. Even though he was there for all of it, it just seemed unbelievable. Never in his wildest mind could he come up with the crazy plan that Katherine Pierce, the bane of his and his brother's existence had put together and executed.

The only consolation was that it was finally over and they had Elena back. Everything else was a disaster.

Stefan sat in a large wing backed chair next to Damon's bed where Elena currently lay, still unconscious. It had been him who had stabbed her, effectively kicking Katherine out of her body and finally ending the horrid vampire's life. Elena had yet to wake up from the ordeal but Stefan wasn't worried. If anything, he was grateful and hoped she stayed that way for a little while longer so he wouldn't have to tell her about Damon.

Taking his eyes off her still form and looking down at his phone for the millionth time in the past hour, he slid the lock screen opened and scrolled down to Damon's name, hitting the call button. As expected, as it had done every other time he tried to call his brother in the past month, it gave a loud piercing sound indicating that the number had been disconnected.

Ending the call, he closed his eyes, covering them with one hand has he sat back against the chair, and counted in his head, trying to quail the emotions that bubbled inside of him. He was tired, and wary, and everything for the past couple of months have just been piling up on him making him want to scream as loud as he could and break as much as possible to get some of the frustration and rage out of his system.

His only comfort through everything since he was released from the safe and they finally defeated Silas and Tessa was his friendship with Caroline, even though she was going through her own crisis right now by giving in and sleeping with Klaus and Tyler finding out. Stefan was just as horrified as everyone else but who was he to judge. He did after all sleep with Katherine again.

That was a mistake he'll never be able to take back. It had been good, obviously they've had centuries of practice but he knew it was wrong, and he was as disgusted with himself as everyone else was at it. Putting aside all the crap she had done to Elena and her friends, the vampire had completely almost destroyed his relationship with his brother, and she did destroy their lives, turning them into the monsters they were now.

He was well aware of the reasons why he had caved in and done it, not needing one of Caroline's or Elena's psych books to figure it out. Stefan would have never slept with Katherine again if it hadn't been for the high emotions that he had been feeling at being trapped in the safe and finally overcoming his fear of it. While she was beautiful and he did and still does in some way love Elena, the attraction to Katherine had left him a long time ago.

Until she came back into their lives after that horrible Founders Day debacle, he hadn't really had any feeling for her either way. Until that night when he had dived into the creek to save Elena and her parents, and seeing her, Stefan hadn't even thought of Katherine for decades. But it all changed and it was sudden. Even when Damon came back and started stirring things up between Elena and him by bringing Katherine up, Stefan didn't feel anything for her.

But then she came back. She pretended to be Elena, she killed Caroline, endangered Elena's family and worst of all she outright broke his brothers heart. Telling him directly to his face that she had never loved him, and it was always Stefan. After that there was no question, he hated her. He hated the devastation she left behind and the chaos she brought. In Stefan's eyes there was no redemption for her and he had struggled hard to keep his brother stable and keep his relationship with Elena.

His mind drifted back to Damon, and the night that they had turned. Remembering his defeated look as Stefan, who for the first time in their lives was stronger than him due to already turning forced him to the girl that stood impassively before them, listening to his broken plead that he didn't want it as the blood touched his lips and the bloodlust took over until Stefan no longer needed to hold him. Damon had promised him an eternity of misery for that one act, and though it didn't matter to Stefan at the time he had said it, years of reflection once his bloodlust was under control had told him that he deserved Damon's wrath for that act.

Though he wasn't sorry at all for doing it.

Stefan had never wanted to become a vampire. He was more than willing to just let the time pass and die. Until the mishap with his father. Damon on the other hand had wanted it, but only to be with Katherine. He craved the love she had given him and when she was thought gone Damon no longer wished to extend his life. He was peaceful in his decision and Stefan was going to go with him. But once he turned he couldn't let his brother die. Even with turning the guilt off right away, a large part of him couldn't just let his brother die. So he forced him to turn.

Shaking his head roughly to clear those thoughts and memories away, Stefan once again pressed the call button on his phone and listened to the invalid number message again before hanging up.

"Still no word?" A voice startled him and Stefan jumped slightly looking towards the door and seeing Caroline standing there. He shook his head, leaning his head back again as she entered the room walking directly to Elena, brushing a few strands of hair from her face.

"She should wake up any time now." Stefan told her, sitting up further in the chair. Caroline gave a nod, staring down at Elena for a couple more moments before sitting on the bed next to her to look at Stefan. He resisted the urge to twitch at the intensity of her gaze as he looked back down at his phone again, wanting to call Damon once more.

"Have you thought about what you're going to tell her yet?" Caroline asked getting right to the point, as she always did. A small smile played on his lips, knowing he could always count on her to ask the hard questions and not beat around the bush. It was something Damon always did, and though he always expressed his dismay at Damon's lack of tact, Stefan appreciated it more than he could ever say.

"There is no way to tell her to make it not sound really bad." He shrugged slightly. "I'll have to just tell her the truth and hope she takes it well."

"Hopes she takes it well?" Caroline scoffed. "Hey Elena, Katherine took over your body for a month, broke up with Damon and tried to hook up with Stefan again. Oh yeah, and Damon dropped off the face of the planet without a single goodbye and disconnecting his phone."

Stefan nodded and sighed, rolling his eyes at her sarcasm. He knew that it didn't sound good. That's because it wasn't good. It was a disaster. "I know Caroline."

"You do remember the last time she got bad news right? She burnt her house down."

"This isn't the same Caroline. Her brother had died trying to find a cure for her. Damon's not dead, he's just missing." He defended.

Caroline didn't appear to believe him as she stared back at him with a quirked brow and a knowing look. Though he knew she was trying to act nonchalant about it, he could tell that she was worried. They all were. Elena Gilbert did not do loss well at all, not that Stefan or anyone else could blame her. She had lost so many people in her life, so many loved ones and even people she disliked.

"He'll come back. We'll find him. He's fine." He mumbled, more to comfort himself than Caroline.

Movement from the bed caused the both of them to go silent as they watched Elena fight her way back to consciousness with abated breath. Her eyes blinked slowly a few times, before closing once more and sighing out Damon's name and falling back to sleep. Stefan met Caroline's worried eyes, seeing the same thing that he was sure was written on his own face. Pain, dread, and horror at having to tell her.

He wasn't sure where he was. He didn't really care. The time of day, the day of the week, whether he was properly dressed or not didn't matter. Nothing did except for alcohol and blood.

He took another long drink from the tumbler in front of him, bobbing his head lightly to the soft music that played from the speakers around him. It was a tune he recognized from some dance party that he had attended not long ago and it made him want to get up and move, but he restrained himself. Instead finishing the rest of his drink slowly, savoring the soft burn down his throat that was ever familiar to him.

Standing up from the stool at the bar he had been sitting at for who knows how long, Damon looked around at the devastation that surrounded him. There were bodies littering the floor and laying on tables, blood pooling and splattered all over every surface. Somehow, he didn't remember what, he had offended one of the other patrons and they had tried to start a fight with him.

He smiled in remembrance. They didn't even have a chance.

Damon allowed the large man to take the first hit, his head snapping hard to the left before springing into action and immediately attaching himself to the man's throat and ripping it out. Screams erupted around him then as people saw what happened and Damon let the body drop ungracefully to the floor. Before anybody could blink or think of picking up their phones to call for help he had sped around the bar, snapping necks and ripping their throats, letting their pain and horror filled screams wash over him like a lullaby as he fed.

"Only twelve?" He asked himself as he finally counted the bodies surrounding him. He had thought it was more, but he wasn't disturbed by his low number. It was very late, or early for him and almost last call when he attacked.

Grinning over the bar, seeing the bar tender who had served his first few drinks hanging limply over a shelf surrounded by glass from the broken bottles that shattered as Damon tossed his body. He felt a moment of remorse for the alcohol that had been spilled and wasted before wiping the thought away.

"Thanks for the drinks." He stated with a huge smile, pulling out a couple hundred dollar bills and leaving it on the counter.

With one last look around, Damon stepped over the body in his path and headed for the door, opening it slowly, walking into the bright sunlight beyond.

"Damon!" Elena called out, standing up from the bed. "Damon where are you?"

Her voice echoed around the large room causing Stefan to grimace at the pitch. As expected, Elena hadn't taken the news very well at all.

They had started slow, asking what she remembered and then filling in the blanks and telling her what had happened in the past month, leaving out anything about Damon until she finally just shouted at them to tell her where he was and why he wasn't with her.

"He's not here Elena. Damon's gone." Caroline had informed her friend morosely, taking her hand. Elena's eyes had gone wide with panic as she looked immediately over to Stefan, willing him to tell her differently, but he couldn't and he just shook his head.

"After you…Katherine broke it off, nobody has seen him since." He told her. That was when she got up and begun searching the room.

He wasn't sure what exactly she was looking for as she opened all the drawers and cabinets, all the hiding places his brother had, making a mess. His first instinct was to stop her, especially when she started flinging things around the huge clean room. Unlike Stefan, Damon preferred a clean uncluttered environment, and above all else, he valued his privacy.

But he remembered that this wasn't just Damon's room anymore. The past month Elena…Katherine had moved into one of the guest rooms or was at Witmore. Before that, before Damon and Elena had been taken by Dr. Westfield, they had been a happy couple, and his room had been theirs.

"He's not gone. His things are still here." Elena stated firmly leaving no room for argument as she placed a wooden box on the bed. Stefan looked at her sadly, glancing at Caroline over her shoulder as he waited for further explanation but none came. Stefan recognized the box she had brought out, it had been a gift from Stefan himself to Damon on his twentieth birthday. He had spent months with Harold, one of his families stable hands learning how to whittle and carve wood in order to make it. In return, despite his father's wishes, he had spent some of his free time teaching the man how to read. It lifted Stefan's spirit to see that his brother had kept it all these years.

"Elena, we haven't seen or heard from him in a month." Caroline offered, coming to stand by her friend. But Elena shook her head and tapped the box.

"He wouldn't leave this behind." She insisted, looking directly into Stefan's eyes, obviously knowing that he was aware of the significance of the box.

"Elena…" Stefan sighed, but stopped whatever he was going to say as Elena leaned heavily beside the bed almost collapsing in exhaustion.

Caroline caught her before she fell further and helped her back into the large bed, despite her struggles to get free and covered her up. She wasn't entirely well yet and Stefan berated himself for not waiting a bit longer to tell her all that's been happening.

Elena refused to lay down though so instead Caroline helped her prop the pillows behind her. Elena grabbed the box and placed it carefully on her lap, her eyes drooping a bit though she tried hard to fight it. Caroline excused herself once Elena was settled to go get some blood for her friend, not sure when the last time Katherine had fed.

Silence descended the room then and Stefan sat heavily back into the wing back chair he had occupied not too long before, not taking his eyes off her, afraid if he did she would turn back into Katherine. A soft sniffle from Elena however broke his contact and he looked back down at his lap where his phone lay once again, wanting to call Damon.

"He's not gone Stefan. He wouldn't leave without taking this." She insisted again, and Stefan looked up.

"Of course he would Elena. It's safe here. He'd know where it was." He told her, and Elena shook her head again.

"No, he told me, that when he travels he puts it in a safe deposit box in New York. And then after he's been settled for a while he'll collect it. He always wants it near him." She told him. Stefan sat silently, not knowing that about his brother. There was a lot he didn't know and that pained him. It surprised him that Damon had shared that small bit of information with Elena, and Stefan wondered what else he might have shared. His brother was an enigma to him. Always had been and probably always will. Ever since he was a little boy he'd wanted to gather as much information about his brother as he could. Not for anything malicious but because he loved him and wanted to know him. But Damon was hesitant and always kept everything close to him.

"You see, it's here and not in New York. He'll be back. You'll see." She stated firmly.

With that Elena scooted herself further down on the large bed, placing the box under the pillow next to her as she laid down. Stefan closed his eyes once he heard her breath lesson as she fell asleep, and hoped that she wouldn't end up with nightmares of what had happened to her. He sincerely hoped she had pleasant dreams of better times.

TBC...

A/N 2: Next chapter probably weds or thurs. Please review if you like it, i adore the feedback.


	2. Chapter 2

Well, first chapter was a flop I guess. Thank you for the three of you that reviewed. Let's try another chapter and see if it gets any better.

Thank you Charahkids for reading through for me.

Chapter 2

Two weeks had passed since Elena had woken up and brokenly tore apart Damon's room looking for the box. Stefan had stayed with her that night, though she was not in any danger, just afraid of letting her out of his sight until he knew she was ok. She had slept restlessly, tossing and turning, crying in her sleep and calling out for Damon. It had broken his heart to see her like that, and it brought back memories and feelings of the time they had been together.

Elena had gotten up before dawn the next morning, waking Stefan up from the uncomfortable sleep his had eventually fallen into shortly before. She had looked exhausted and paler than normal, reminding Stefan that she hadn't drunk any of the blood Caroline had brought up for her.

It had taken a lot of convincing from the both of them to get her to eat and clean up before they began their search, and she had agreed reluctantly only if Caroline called her mother to get information on potential leads.

That was two weeks ago. To very long weeks of going through report after report, reading all the details and looking at all the crime scene photos of all mysterious deaths that could be contributed as a vampire but listed as animal attacks.

It was a staggering amount of data, but Stefan was confident that none of them were Damon. Which was good news as some of them were absolutely horrifying, and bad news as it meant that they hadn't found him.

As the days moved on Elena had become more and more frustrated with their lack of progress concerning not only Stefan and Caroline but the rest of their friends too. The others came and went attempting to distract her, or help her, but she always shrugged them off and yelled at them to either help or leave.

Sighing loudly and tossing the last of the new files Liz Forbes had brought over that morning, Stefan gave out a frustrated groan. Nothing, absolutely noting. He picked up his phone that lay on the table and opened the lock screen, once again hitting Damon's number and listening to the high pitched notes. It's not like he expected it to change. He didn't think Damon would just reconnect his phone, but he couldn't stop doing it, he couldn't stop calling the number.

Deciding he needed a drink, he stood from the dining room table and walked out towards the library where he knew Damon had kept the really good stuff. Perhaps if he drank some of Damon's best bourbon it would help his mind to try to think as Damon would and figure out where he had gone.

The comfortable warmth from the fireplace hit him immediately as he turned into the room, causing a small smile to cross his face. It was their favorite room in the whole house, one of the few things they could agree upon. They both spent hours upon hours in there lounging in the chairs reading books, enjoying a drink and each other's silent company. It was the closest the two of them had to connecting with times of old, when they would sit in the parlor or study together in the evenings while their mother cross stitched and their father read the evening paper.

Coming into the room he stopped short at the top of the steps seeing Elena sitting on the leather couch in front of the fireplace. She looked lost as she stared into the flames and all Stefan wanted to do was sit next to her and wrap her in his arms to keep her safe and comfort her. He resisted however, instead walking into the room and sitting in Damon's favorite chair that still had the arm slightly gashed from when Stefan dug his fingers into the leather.

He watched her for a few moments, waiting to see if she would acknowledge his presence. When she didn't he cleared his throat, sitting forward in the chair, resting his elbows on his knees. He watched her blink a few times before realizing she wasn't alone any longer and quickly wiped away the stray tears that had gone unchecked from her eyes.

"Sorry, I was, just…" She started, but seemed at a loss.

"It's ok Elena. You don't have to pretend or hide your feelings from me." He told her, his voice soft and quiet.

She stared at him for a beat before looking back at the fire again. "I just can't stop thinking about him." She admitted. "All I can think about is that horrible fight we had. The things we had said."

"Elena…" Stefan started, not quite sure what he was going to say.

"I knew he didn't mean it." She continued as if he didn't say anything. She closed her eyes and he watched the tears fall more freely. "I didn't meant it either. I knew we would get back together."

That surprised him. From what Caroline said she seemed devastated. "What do you mean?" He asked, and she opened her eyes and looked at him.

"Our relationship Stefan was sweet, and soft. I knew you loved me, and I loved you back so much." She said. "But, when you left with Klaus, and you changed so much, I knew it wouldn't be the same."

"I don't understand Elena. What does this have to do with Damon?" He asked, not sure where she was going. He suddenly wished he hadn't of come into the room. He was over his failed relationship with Elena, and he was so grateful for her presence in his brother's life, but rehashing things still hurt and he hurt enough at the moment.

"Because Damon and I always fought. I loved you Stefan but I loved Damon more. I wish I had figured that out before I had hurt you so much but it's the truth." A sob escaped her lips then. "We fought, and we broke up, but I knew without a doubt that a few days later we would be back together again. That once again I would be in his arms and he'd be holding me and loving me."

Stefan nodded in understanding, remembering how down his brother was but how easily he gave in when Stefan convinced him that it was a mistake. He probably didn't have to push Damon as hard as he did, or even help him as much as he thought Damon needed. Stefan should have just left well enough alone and they'd be back together on their own. Or at least they would have been if not for Katherine.

"But it didn't happen that way, and I'm so sorry Elena." He stated. A growl came from Elena then and his eyes widened in surprise as her face hardened into a mask of anger.

"No, it didn't. All because of Katherine." She spat. "It's always Katherine."

"Don't thi-"

"Don't defend her Stefan." She exclaimed angrily, turning her hate filled eyes on him. Though he knew they weren't for him it still hit him hard. "I remember your speech, about her being a survivor and toasting her for that. By sleeping with her you practically spit on us all, siding with her and throwing away all the pain she caused everyone. The pain she caused you."

Stefan stood up and stood in front of the fire place, wrapping his arms around himself as he turned to face her. "What Katherine did to me is not your concern Elena. Not anymore."

"No, but what she did to Damon is. What she did to the both of us!" Elena stood up from the couch and stood in front of him, her eyes wide and desperate. "She played with you both. She manipulated you both, but Damon was the one to get hurt the most, because it's always you."

Stefan shook his head, having enough of this conversation. He had come in for a drink and then tried to comfort her, not get attacked for some bad decisions or what happened to his brother. He turned away from her walking around the couch to the exit only to stop at the top of the small steps and turn back to face her, watching her back as she leaned against the fireplace.

"It had been the same for you once." He stated, and she turned to face him again. "You had chosen me over Damon once. You had said that exact thing to him. 'It will always be Stefan'."

"I know, and I have spent the last year showing him how wrong I was." She said agonized.

With no further word, Stefan left the library, forgetting the drink he originally came in for. He passed right by the parlor, ignoring Caroline's concerned face as he walked right out of the house and out into the darkened night. He wanted to punch something, hard. He wanted to feel his skin on his knuckles crack and bleed so he could focus on the pain in his hand and not in his chest.

Instead he just walked further away from the house and out into the woods beyond the property, hiding in the shadows of the trees as the nearly full moon shined brightly in a clear sky above them. Stefan knew he shouldn't have let Elena's words get to him. She was upset, very upset. This situation wasn't her fault and yet he knew she felt profound guilt at it all. All she wanted was to find Damon, and Stefan wanted the same thing, but what he knew that she didn't was that if Damon didn't want to be found, he wouldn't be.

Stefan stopped still in his spot as his mind reeled on that.

They had spent two weeks going over reports and he had no doubt that most of them were actually vampires but none of them were his brother. Damon didn't leave bodies, he didn't leave evidence. Even during the 20 some odd year span where his humanity was off, the only way he found where he was, is because someone recognized him and told Lexi. Damon was too meticulous to be sloppy despite the fact he had never really been stable.

Stefan had called in just about every favor he could from any vampire and witch he had ever met that was still alive to keep an eye out for his brother since he had left, but there still had been nothing. No word from anybody on his whereabouts. Stefan wondered if he was even still in the country. He himself had stayed in the states during the majority of his long life. Constantly being debilitated by his blood addiction and the time spent cleaning his life up again put a damper on most travel.

Damon had been the one to do the traveling. He knew that after Damon had left him that he had boarded a ship to Italy. Every now and then through the years he received postcards from his brother, no matter where they were in their relationship. Even as they antagonized each other when their paths crossed, receiving the post cards or random letters had always filled him with some sort of hope in his darkest times. That no matter what they were brothers and he had hoped that someday they would be able to get back to that.

He still had them. All of them. They were locked in a special box of his own that he hid away from everyone, including himself to keep them safe from those who would hurt them, or use them to hurt him. They were like a lifeline to his brother and he needed them to stay safe.

A noise behind him startled him from his thoughts and he quickly turned around, ready to attack whatever was there only to stop suddenly at the sight of Caroline standing still against a tree. She looked out of place in the darkened forest with its dark greens, browns and blacks. She stood out against everything and even in the dark she seemed to radiate light as if the sun suddenly appeared.

"What are you doing here?" He asked her, relaxing a bit knowing he was in no danger.

She shrugged her shoulders and flipped her hair back with a quick tip of her head. "I was concerned for you, so I followed." She said simply.

"I'm find Caroline, you don't have to worry about me." He ground out and walked passed her heading back towards home.

"Just because I don't have to doesn't mean I'm not Stefan." She said, stopping him in his place. He turned and looked back at her through the darkness as she stared back at him with her concerned blue eyes. "I heard what Elena said to you. She doesn't mean any of it, you know that Stefan."

Stiffly he nodded his head. Of course he knew it. He knew how passionate Elena was as well as anyone. That didn't mean that the things she said didn't hurt or that they weren't the truth.

"I think she's just feeling a little extra guilty because Katherine tried to seduce you while in Elena's body. Elena didn't betray Damon but in her mind, she might as well have."

"I would never do that to Damon." He stated firmly, unwavering. Caroline's brow twitched in surprise at his words and he wondered what he had said wrong.

"He would do it to you Stefan." She stated. "In fact he had done it."

"No he didn't. Elena and I were over." Stefan defended. "He had made it no secret his feelings for Elena but he had not acted on them when we were actually together."

Stefan turned away from her and began walking away again only to stop and turn back around at her again. "And regardless on if they were broken up or not I still would not make a move on Elena. We are over. Katherine was a mistake Caroline. But the person who was trying to seduce me, I thought was Elena. I would never cross that line again."

Caroline sighed dramatically and came closer to him, placing her hand on his arm for a moment before crossing her arms over her chest. "She wasn't with Damon at the time Stefan. You could have gotten her back."

"It wasn't Elena, Caroline." He sputtered angrily. "It was Katherine."

"But you didn't know that!" She argued back.

Letting out an angry roar Stefan clenched his fist and punched the nearest tree to him, sending bark flying everywhere. He flinched as the wood splintered into his skin but he paid it no mind as he turned back to his friend. Taking a few steady breaths he placed his hands on her shoulders, letting his fingers tickle the side of her neck. He felt her tense beneath this hands but he couldn't tell from her expression if it was welcomed or not. They had both had such a hard time lately in the love department, he felt close to her in that regard. Something inside of him told him that he had to make sure she understood that nothing was going on between Elena and him. He wasn't sure what it was, but he decided to go with it.

"Elena and I are done. We're just friends." He said simply. "Elena would have never tried seducing me, especially right after breaking my brother's heart. It was my first clue that something was right."

Caroline just nodded her head weakly in reply, but he could see a small smile fighting to stay off her beautiful lips. He wanted to press forward and place a kiss on them, reassuring them that he was not going back, but he didn't. Now was not the time to start his own relationship drama.

They watched each other for a few beats more before Stefan finally relaxed and let her go, dropping his arms heavily to his sides, missing the contact immediately. He held his arm out and bowed slightly, allowing her to pass in front of him as they walked back to the boarding house.

Water dripped down upon his face but he didn't blink. He didn't even notice it as he continued to stare up at the sky, watching the lightning dance across the clouds. The loud thunder rumbled above him shaking his body while the rain fell down upon his soaked body.

He wasn't sure why he was out there in the middle of nowhere, lying on a hill looking up. He didn't even know when he got there or how long he had been there. Damon blinked a few times, his mind going back bit remembering the sunset earlier. It filled the sky with beautiful reds and magenta's and he had felt tears in his eyes at the majestic hues.

He remembered lying there the previous night, looking up at the thousands of stars above, watching the comets zoom by as shooting stars placing wishes on every single one of them. It had gone on for several days and nights, but there was no beginning to this time as his mind remembered the various changes.

He lifted his arm slowly, the joints aching from misuse as he brought his hand in front of his face, using the lightning strikes and his enhanced vision to see in front of him. He blinked lazily at it not noting or caring of the protruding veins and the pale skin of desiccation that had begun to set in.

'Guess I've been here a while.' He said to himself, letting his arm drop uselessly to his side once more. He poked his sides, using the fingers to crawl up onto his stomach, pressing softly on his body, feeling the bones stick out below so easily without the blood to keep him plumped up and cushioned.

It was at that realization that the burning in his throat that he had felt so often over the course of his eternal life began anew. It hurt and burned and his mind was filled with only one thought; feed. He couldn't remember the last time he had fed. With the days, weeks, hours everything blurring by without any notice from him, time was lost and he had no recollection of when.

He lied still then, trying to push back the thirst, trying to get back to the numbness he had only felt moments before, but he was unable too. Every drop of water falling upon him felt like they were stones, the ground beneath caused his body to ache, and all he wanted to do was drain the nearest person dry.

With that thought a sweet scent hit his nostrils and he lay still, veins around his eyes protruding and his eyes turning red. It was the scent of human blood and they were nearby, only a couple miles away.

Without any regard to his previous state, the thirst burned through him as he quickly got up and crossed the distance between him and what he desperately needed in a matter of minutes.

Damon stopped right outside a tent, breathing heavily as the scent of the human blood so near drove him to distraction. He could tell from the difference in the sweetness that there were four humans, two adults and two children, huddling in the tent sleeping, ignoring the rain that pounded upon their shelter, unaware of the danger that lurked just outside it.

Without a single thought, Damon gave into the thirst.


	3. Chapter 3

Hey! posting this now because well, its done and i'll be busy weds. Thank you to Charahkids for betaing. And thank you for all who reviewed. I'm not normally a review hog who begs for them but its really nice to read them and see that people are in fact enjoying what you're writing. Personal thanks at the bottom!

On to the story.

Chapter 3

"Ok, here are the files for unsolved homicides that included some form of neck wound." Sheriff Forbes said, entering the boarding house.

Stefan stood up from his place at the dining room table and met her halfway, taking the large stack off her hands and quickly opened the top folder.

"None of them would be considered animal attacks by Mystic Falls standards." She added as Stefan walked away.

The first folder he knew wasn't Damon so he quickly moved onto the next one, reading the detailing and waiting for what he was looking for to pop out. He saw Elena sit in the chair next to him in his peripheral as she picked up the discarded folder and opened it up herself.

"What are we looking for?" She asked confused, flipping the pages. Sheriff Forbes stepped up behind him, the scent of her blood in her veins causing his nostrils to flare reminding him that he hadn't fed in a while.

"Stefan believes that Damon is too careful to leave evidence that could link to a vampire, so he asked for unsolved homicides." She explained.

"And you think you'll be able to find Damon through these?" Elena asked him. He ignored her and moved onto the next folder. They hadn't talked about the argument the night before in the library and he really wasn't in the mood to deal with his brother's girlfriend at the moment. "Maybe he's not killing people. Damon's not the same as he was before. He's changed."

Stefan gave out a derisive laugh at her comment, causing both females to look at him concerned. But he just shook his head and tossed another folder onto the table. "If you genuinely believe that Elena than you obviously don't know Damon as well as you think you do."

Her responding growl caused him to look up her then, seeing her brows furrowed angrily at him. He felt a bit of satisfaction run through him at her expression though he was surprised that he didn't feel any remorse for being the one to make her mad.

They stared at each other for several moments, the tension in the room raising and Sheriff Forbes took a few steps back, obviously not wanting to get in the middle of a vampire fight. Stefan had no intention of attacking Elena but the Sheriff was smart, as Elena, as always, was driven by her emotions and could very well do something regrettable.

He watched Elena blink a few times, taking some calming breaths before she sat up slightly stiffer. "You are not one to talk Stefan. I believe I know Damon better than you." She stated glaringly. "He's opened up to me Stefan. He talks to me. I know Damon."

There were a million things that he could have said as a response but he didn't. He didn't want to fight with Elena, they were friends. He wanted her in his life and especially in Damon's. He knew he was only acting antagonistic towards her because of the harsh words exchanged the night before and he knew that she felt a lot of guilt over this situation because of Katherine.

"Look, Elena." He started, glancing over at Sheriff Forbes for a moment. "I don't want to fight, especially over this."

"Than why just scoff at my suggestion. It's possible he's just in hiding and not off…" She couldn't finish the sentence but she motioned to the files in front her. He understood what she was saying, and the corners of his mouth curved up a bit in a smile at knowing that despite his faults, Elena will always try to think the best of his brother.

"I didn't mean to scoff Elena." He placated. "I just meant…I meant I know my brother, especially his habits and his various states of mind."

"What does-"

"You broke his heart Elena. Or at least Katherine did, but he doesn't know that." He said wistfully.

"I know." she replied remorsefully. Tears began to stream down her cheek and Stefan resisted the urge to reach over and wipe them away. He had to remind himself that it wasn't his place any longer, but that still didn't stop the hurt inside him at seeing her pain.

"Damon isn't hiding. He's out there killing. He's unstable-"

"You don't know that Stefan. You haven't seen him in over a month." Elena protested vehemently as Stefan shook his head.

"No, but I know my brother, Elena. He's never really been stable. Ever. He loves you so much and Katherine crushed him." He explained patiently. "Trust me, he's out there."

With that he gave a nod to Sheriff Forbes as she backed away from the two, relieved that the two won't come to blows and exited the house. Stefan gave a final fleeting glance to Elena's tear stained face before going back to the files. There had to be something in there, he just knew it, but what he wasn't quite sure yet.

It wasn't until a few hours later that he came across a file in regards to a mass homicide in a bar just outside of New York City. Twelve people were brutally murdered in a bar. The images from the crime scene were gruesome as the list of injuries each patron sustained as massive and varying in result making the investigators believe that there was more than one person.

Stefan knew differently. He could tell it was Damon, the whole thing screamed Damon and as he sat the file down, still open he looked over at Elena. He had to tell her what he had found but he was afraid of her reaction to it. It would state unequivocally that everything she believed about Damon was untrue. Stefan knew that Elena was aware of the monster that his brother was, but she had chosen, always have, to see the good in him, even when he was just the bad. Even now, in the midst of this search, he knew that she was telling herself that they would find nothing because Damon had changed and wouldn't harm people in such brutal ways.

It caused Stefan to hesitate in telling her what he just found. He didn't want to cause her anymore pain, but at the same time he needed her to face reality. To be prepared and know what was really happening and be prepared for when the real fight was to begin, the fight for Damon's soul and sanity.

"What is it?" Elena asked him, breaking him out of his own reverie. Stefan blinked a few times before placing his hand on top of the open file.

"I think I found him."

"Seven. There's SEVEN Stefan." Caroline emphasized as she paced back and forth in front of him. He had immediately sent her a text once he gave the file to Elena to read over, asking her to come to the boarding house. She was there in a matter of minutes, just in time for Elena's tears to fall hysterically as she poured over the photos.

"I know Caroline." Stefan said tiredly, taking a long swig from his glass of bourbon. It was his fourth one.

"There's 74 dead people Stefan. In six weeks." She continued as if he didn't say anything.

"I'm aware of that Caroline."

"And those are only that we know of, who know ho-"

"Ok, we get it. Damon's off the rails big time." He shouted exasperated. "Can we focus now on getting to him before he does something to get caught?"

Caroline gave a loud sigh and plopped down on the couch next to him, grabbing the glass from his fingers and downing the rest of its contents. Stefan didn't say anything as he grabbed the bottle from the table in front of him and poured more into her glass as he drank from the bottle.

They sat in a comfortable silence with the only sounds being the ticking of various clocks around the house and the crackling of the fire. Stefan wasn't quite sure why he was feeling so lethargic about this. He knew all along what he would find so it's not like it was a surprise. His brother had gone off the rails many times before in their long existence but for some reason this felt different and Stefan couldn't figure out why.

He broke the silence then, talking in such a soft voice that human ears wouldn't have caught what he was saying, but he watched Caroline's eyes as they switched from concern to sympathetic. She reached over, grabbing his hand in hers, giving it a tight squeeze as she turned her body towards him giving him her full attention. He watched as her eyes moved up and around, obviously thinking about what she wanted to say to him and if Stefan were honest with himself, he wasn't sure he liked that. Caroline always said what she thought right away, and though sometimes it was hurtful, she never said it to be cruel and he had come to appreciate her honesty.

"It's different because he's different Stefan." She told him with a small smile. He rolled his eyes and pulled his hand away from hers.

"He's not that different. Elena thinks that he's completely changed and he would never do such a thing, but obviously he did." He ground out. He expected Caroline to look abashed, or back up a bit but she stayed where she was.

"That's not true Stefan. I agree, maybe Elena is a little delusional but you can't deny that Damon has changed Stefan." She said. "I know I've only known him a few years but he's not as hard around the edges as he was when we first met."

"He's just killed 74 people in six weeks Caroline. He hasn't changed that much." Stefan said sardonically.

"True, but as you've been telling Elena, he's not stable." She pointed out, jabbing her finger into his chest. "And he never was."

Stefan gave a tired sigh, placing the almost empty bottle of bourbon back on the table and sat back. He ran his hands over his face, closing his eyes for a moment before opening them and looking back at Caroline's determined look. Damon was never her favorite person, and he Stefan knew that she disliked him just as much and with good reason. Damon had used her as a blood bag and sex toy when he first came to town. Stefan idly wondered how she handled learning she had been abused so badly by him after she turned and the compulsion wore off. He thought perhaps he should ask her someday, but now was not the time. Now they had bigger issues to deal with.

"I'm not quite seeing how that makes him different than what he was Caroline. If anything, it makes him more dangerous." He finally said. But Caroline immediately shook her head in disagreement.

"I'd be the first to admit, after Damon himself that he is a complete sleezeball, but being here has changed him, a lot. You have to see it Stefan." She said.

"I don't." He replied simply. Caroline gave a bark of a laugh then, and Stefan furrowed his brow in confusion.

"Oh come on Stefan. I know you still love Elena. You will always love Elena." She said.

"What does that ha-"

"You could have fought harder for her Stefan, but you backed off. After she turned her humanity back on, and declined the cure you could have fought for her." Caroline pointed out.

Stefan gaped a few times, not sure what point she was making. She was right of course, but he didn't fight. He gave up, and he ended up in a safe for three months drowning over and over.

"I don't…"

"You didn't give up for Elena you gave up for Damon. At some point during that whole ordeal with the cure and the sire bond, and the humanity thing, you decided to withdraw from the competition and concede to Damon, and not because you were hurt or he was better for her."

"Caroline, I sto-"

"It was because she was good for him." She finished and Stefan just stared at her.

It was a truth he never really let himself thing about. It hurt him to give up on his relationship with Elena, though Caroline was giving him far more credit than he deserves. But he could see the change in Damon, had seen it even before Elena had turned, and he liked them. He wanted more of them. Damon's love for Elena had brought his brother back to how he was so many years ago and Stefan liked that person. He liked the person Damon had been becoming and at some point, and even he didn't know when, somehow breaking the sire bond to make sure of Elena's feelings weren't just about Elena, but about Damon as well because he knew if his brother fully had Elena, only to find out none of it was real it would very well destroy him. And Stefan wasn't sure he could handle Damon being destroyed.

His brother was reckless and very self-destructive on the best of days. Stefan had spent the last century trying to figure out why and what happened to cause his brother to be that way in the first place but finding out none of Elena's feelings for him had been real could very well drop Damon off the deep end to never return. And Stefan needed his brother. He didn't know how much until recently but he did, he needed his big brother.

"Do you think…do you believe he's a lost cause now?" He whispered the one question he'd been afraid to ask himself. Caroline just took his hands back in hers, giving him a bright smile, one that he loved and made his heart patter a little harder and shook her head.

"No, I don't think he is." She told him truthfully. "I don't think it's going to be easy, but I don't believe it's as bad as we feel it is."

Stefan gave his own little laugh as he wiped away some stray tears he didn't know was falling. "That makes absolutely no sense Caroline." He told her and she giggled a little as she cocked her head to the side.

"It's just, Katherine broke up with him because of how reckless he is, but you were there, and unless you left something out, she didn't say that she didn't love him or didn't have feelings for him. And that, dear Stefan, is what I think will save him and us a lot of pain." She explained.

He watched her reach for the bottle on the table as he thought about her words again, giving a soft scoff at how much she was making him think that night. She was right, Katherine didn't mention any absence of love and to Damon, love was everything. It always had been. It was the first thing he noticed about his as a young child was how much his brother seemed to crave love. He hadn't put much stock in it until he started growing and figuring out the world, watching as it was withheld from him for some reason that Stefan had never discovered.

It was why they were as close when human. Damon's capacity for love was so great, he openly gave it away regardless of the pain that he frequently acquired from it. He had done a lot of charity work in the town, he helped the poor, he visited the slaves much to their fathers disgust and helped with everything and anything he could.

"It's a good thing then that Elena still loves him. All we have to do is convince him of it." Stefan said after several silent minutes and Caroline nodded.

"And yours." She said. "You love him Stefan. I think the two of you will be the most important pieces to this puzzle, and as long as you don't give up, as long as you still love him, eventually he'll be ok."

Stefan gave out another tired sigh and leaned his head against the back of the sofa closing his eyes. "I hope so. I really hope so."

Elena sat against the headboard of Damon's bed, the wooden box she had been keeping under his pillow now on her lap. Tears fell down her cheeks freely as she fought not to think about all the dead innocent people Damon had supposedly killed since his departure.

She knew it was silly to deny that it was him, to not believe that he was capable because she knew very well that he was. She was lucky to get to see the softer side of Damon, his truer side as she considered it. He was always so closed off with everyone, sarcasm running freely to keep others at a distance. It was one of the first things she had seen through when she first met him. She had seen through his aloof façade and hard truths and saw that beneath it there was a heart of gold that was surrounded by an impenetrable wall, stopping anybody who may come near it.

She had coveted that heart from the second she caught a glimpse of it when they were in Georgia. Not for any gains for herself, but she had felt a strong desire to protect it. The wall had been thinner then as they ate their meal and laughed with Bree. Seeing him so light hearted and open had changed how she saw him, showing her a lighter side. But saving his life from Lexi's boyfriend had shown her the wall and why it was built.

Elena had genuinely thought Bree was Damon's friend, and how could they not. They laughed, they smiled, they danced, and they kissed. To all the world they were the best of friends, hanging out and having fun. But as she snuck back into the bar after Damon to grab something she had forgotten she heard them. She heard Bree admit her betrayal and try to save herself. She watched in fear at the scene as Damon forgave his supposed friend and then reach into her chest and rip out her heart.

Elena had immediately left then, throwing up at the side of the building before running to his car. She never told him about it and was sure he never knew that she witnessed it. She didn't want him to know, not only because she was still afraid of him, but also because she didn't think he'd appreciate her witnessing his moment of pain, when he was betrayed by someone he trusted.

She never wanted to do that to him, to hurt him like that though she had many times over since then, and each time the realization hit her she hated herself a little bit more, hating herself the most after he told her that she had a lot more in common than just their looks after that trip to Duke University. It was then that she had decided to let her anger for him go. He did get lucky with the ring, and he had suffered her anger for it, but Jeremey was alive and fine and she didn't ever want to be anything like Katherine. That thought had always scared her the most.

Moving her fingers across the top of the box now she felt all the ridges and dents on her fingertips from the passing years. She knew the story of it, that Stefan had given it to him and it was his most prized possession. Though she hadn't seen inside the box she knew that it held everything he ever felt was important. Stefan had his room for that, all the knickknacks and things all over. His important memories through his existence. Damon was simpler, He didn't collect things which made whatever was locked inside even more special and important.

She remembered the first time he had told her about it. It was right after Stefan had left for the west coast, and they had been in bed for days. The sun shined brightly through the windows as they held each other and talked, just talked. For the first time Damon had been honest, and open to her and she saw his true self and she fell even more in love with him at the beauty he kept hidden from everyone else.

They were just asking questions back and forth, getting to know everything about each other. Elena had asked what his most prized possession was and he just gave her a look and whispered for her to go first. She said something stupid about a bracelet that her grandmother had given her. It was a chain linked with diamonds and other precious stones littered between them. Damon remembered that bracelet and told her some of its origin as it had been told to him when he complimented her ancestor about it in 1854.

After his tale he then gave her a hard look, studying her face for a moment causing goose bumps to cross her bared skin before he sadly got out of bed. She watched him with a pout as he walked naked into his closet, fiddling around for a few moments before coming back and sitting on the bed next to her, covering them both up with the sheet and showed her the box.

He wouldn't open it for her and no amount of pouting convinced him. It contained everything that was dear to his heart and he never showed anybody its contents and he wasn't ready to share it with her yet. She respected that and just took comfort in the fact the box was still there in Mystic Falls and that he was there with it.

Bringing the box up to her chest Elena held it tight and cried some more, wishing that Damon was there with her and that nothing was happening. Her only comfort was that it was there, with her, and she had no intention of letting it go.

With one last sob, Elena laid down on the large bed, placed the box under the pillow next to her again, and closed her eyes hoping for sleep. Tomorrow, she would find Damon and she would not quit until he was safe at home once again.

TBC.

Please RR. And if you have time and want something to read, feel free to read my other story Silent Secret, which I was super proud of.

 **Natera:** thank you very much!

 **TXKat:** Thank you very much. I hope you continue to enjoy the story as it unfolds.

 **FluffyAltaria:** I shall! thank you!

 **CDLVI (Guest):** I agree, Damon is my absolute favorite character in the entire series and I just want to wrap him in bubble wrap and tell him its ok, i loves him and I understand. But i'm going to put him through hell in this story. There will be Steroline, sorry, because I like the paring. But there will be tons of Delena too cause that's my vamp ship.


	4. Chapter 4

HEY ALL!

Unbetad, I wanted to get this out.

A/N: Thank you for the reviews and while I appreciate the character analysis of Stefan I know I'm OOC for him. He is by far NOT my fave, despite consensus, but I love the brother bond, or potential of the brother bond that comes from Stefan's view. (hence the story so far). I guess I shoulda put "AU" on it. :) Sorry.

Personal Review Responses At Bottom.

Chapter 4

"So the tally is up to 106 dead bodies across seven states." Jeremey inferred. "Are we sure we want to bring him back?"

"Jeremey!" Elena shouted at her brother, smacking him really hard on the arm.

Stefan let out annoyed sigh as he walked around the table over and over to keep himself calm. They had gotten the last of the data the day before from Sheriff Forbes and after three days they finally compiled some semblance of a timeline.

Just as he thought, Damon had no pattern. The time line was random jumping from one state to the opposite but his location couldn't be pinpointed. The last one was a family of four who was camping out in Uniontown, PA just two days previous. The images from the crime scene still turned Stefan's stomach and he tried not to think on them too much. Damon had been violent and seemed desperate for blood, splattering it all around the inside of the tent, covering the corpses in them, their bodies broken in multiple places making them like ragdolls.

"Ouch Elena, hello, still human, it hurts when you hit me now." Jeremey complained rubbing his arm. "And I just meant that, well, the numbers are really emphasizing my point."

"He's hurt Jeremy. He's not in his right mind right now." Elena defended.

"He's killing people Elena! And not just some people, a lot of them. 19 of that 106 were children under twelve. Children Elena. His humanity is off and to be honest the prospect of him being here scares me a bit."

"That's enough Jeremey." Stefan interceded, standing right behind the former hunter. To Jeremey's credit he didn't jump or startle, just turned and glared at the vampire behind him.

"If you bring him back to Mystic Falls he'll end up killing everyone here." He shouted but Stefan just shook his head and walked away from him, heading down the few steps from the dining room to the parlor.

The others followed, sans Elena who sat at the table staring dejectedly at the map upon it. He stepped in front of the large fireplace, crossing his arms over his chest and staring deep into the flames thinking about Jeremey's concerns. They were valid, he'd give that, but regardless Stefan wasn't going to give up on Damon. He'd take his brother someplace else and help him.

He turned towards the group who lounged lazily upon the two couches, each one tired and seemingly without hope. His eyes met Caroline's for a second as she gave him an encouraging smile. He felt slightly lighter at it before his attention was drawn back to Elena and suddenly his heart felt heavy again. He couldn't bring himself to be happy at a time like this. Not until they found Damon at least.

Surprisingly Bonnie and Matt hadn't said a word during the whole thing. Both Stefan and Elena had expected a battle with the two of them as the body count started racking up. But neither said anything as they listened to their friends put together the data and theories. Caroline had voiced her concern the night before, warning him to be careful. Bonnie was very vocal and the fact she's been so silent made Caroline very uneasy. Since she knew her Bonnie best he decided to heed her warning.

"Fine." Jeremey said sounding annoyed. "If you're not going to listen to me then tell me, what is the next step? Where do we go from here?"

"Listen, Jer, I understand your concern for the safety of the people of this town. I have no intention of letting Damon hurt anyone." Stefan placated, though it didn't seem to make any difference as the younger man grabbed Bonnies hand possessively.

"How about we vote? All who want Damon to stay away?" Matt stated raising his hand. Bonnie and Jeremey did the same but Caroline just glared at her ex-boyfriend.

"Not helping Matt." She ground out, but Matt didn't sway, instead standing up from the couch and walked around it, obviously trying to put some distance between himself and the vampires.

"I'm not trying to help anymore Caroline." He pointed back at the dining room table. "That's just the ones we know about. Who knows how many more there are. He's out of his mind and he's dangerous.

"We're all dangerous Matt!" Caroline shouted standing up herself and taking a step forward, but Stefan placed his hand on her arm stopping her as Matt took another step back.

"That's the point. You're all dangerous. You keep saying that your emotions are heighten, well that's not a good thing Caroline, and it makes you dangerous and deadly." He told her. "

"So what are you saying? That you don't want us around to save your ass anymore because some of us are more emotionally unstable than other?"

"My ass wouldn't need saving vampires weren't here." He growled.

Stefan was taken aback by the ferocity of Matt's tone. Out of everyone in their little rag band of supernatural he was the most normal of them all, and he always seemed to just swing with the punches. The man before him had given him such a new view on humans that he honestly hadn't had since he was turned, realizing that they weren't all just weaker beings, that they too can fight even though they know they most likely won't win. But the anger in which he was arguing took Stefan off guard.

"So what do you want, for us to all go? To leave our homes? We have family here Matt, friends." Caroline shouted at him breaking free of Stefan's hold.

Matt took a couple of courageous steps forward, stepping right into Caroline's space, looking at her directly in the eyes. He showed no fear as he faced down with her, which alarmed Stefan, as even as a friend, one should always be cautious around a vampire.

"You don't belong here anymore Caroline. You died."

All chaos broke loose then and everything happened so fast Stefan couldn't track what order anything happened. One second he's stunned by Matt's words and next Caroline is on the floor screaming in pain clutching her head as bonnie stands in front of Matt and Jeremey.

"Stop it. Stop!" Stefan shouts at her crouching down to Caroline, holding her tightly as she screamed. "Bonnie!"

She blinked a few times as she met Stefan's eyes and lowered her hand to her side. Stefan watched her a second longer before turning his full attention to his friend, running his fingers through her hair trying to calm her. She had tears streaking down her face as she fought for breath.

"You will not touch Matt." Bonnie stated firmly. "You will not touch anyone. And you will not be bringing Damon back here."

Stefan stared at her stunned, mouth opened. Bonnie had always been against vampires, especially Damon but she had always supported Caroline and Elena and now she was hurting one.

"Bonnie! How-how did you do that?" Elena stuttered behind them, shocked. Stefan watched Bonnies face go through a myriad of emotions before setting back on the one she had before. Making her look stoic and cold, powerful.

"It doesn't matter Elena. What matters is that Matt and Jeremey are right." She said hostility. "You two are my best friends, but perhaps it is time for you to move on from Mystic Falls."

Elena took a few steps toward the group as Stefan helped Caroline up. "Bonnie you don't mean that."

"I do Elena. I truly do."

"You can't just ban us from our homes Bonnie. You can't dictate where we can or cannot go." Caroline argued, and Bonnie turned her green eyes on her blonde friend. Stefan pulled Caroline slightly behind him trying to shield her.

"I can and I am Caroline. I won't stop you from coming by, visiting whatever. But you are no longer welcome here to stay. Please leave as soon as possible." With that they watched as she turned her back on them, pulling Jeremey with her and Matt following behind her as she moved to exit the house while the vampires watched her. She stopped right at the door however and came back into the room a few feet, staring directly at Stefan, eyes cold.

"Bonnie-"

"If you bring Damon back to Mystic Falls, I won't hesitate to kill him." She stated. With that she turned once more and left, leaving the three vampires stunned behind her.

Silence descended the room, until a sob escaped from Elena and she crumbled to the floor. Stefan immediately rushed to her side, kneeling down next to her and holding her in his arms with Caroline on the other side, still crying as well.

"She can't do this!" Elena sobbed. "This is our home. She can't take it away. She can't take away Jeremey, he's all I have left!"

With a look to Caroline over Elena's head, Stefan felt fear in his chest.

Several hours later after Elena had calmed down the three vampires sat in silence in the parlor drinking all the alcohol they could reach. Elena apologized for being so emotional but neither Stefan nor Caroline was bothered. Their friend had been through so much in her young life before she became a vampire that it was inevitable that she wouldn't come out unscathed. Luckily for her she fell in love with Damon who was emotionally unstable to being with and somehow the two of them balanced each other out.

"What are we going to do?" Caroline asked depressed as she lay spread out on the opposite couch from Stefan and Elena. Stefan shook his head, not sure what their next move was. There was so much to do, so much in the air. Now was not a good time for Bonnie to go crazy and kick them out of town.

"We pack up as soon as we can and we leave." Stefan stated simply. Caroline sat up quickly from her relaxed position, dropping the nearly empty bottle of vodka she had been nursing. Stefan cringed as it spilled all over the carpet and his only thoughts were on how big a fit Damon was going to throw.

"What? We can't just give up, Stefan this is our home. We have lives here!" She protested annoyed. Stefan shrugged his shoulders.

"It's time to move on anyways Caroline, it's just, we have to leave sooner rather than later. It won't be forever." He consoled, but Caroline didn't seem to be taking it as easy.

"You're just giving up?" She cried. "Our best friend is kicking us out!"

"She's not my best friend Caroline, she's yours, and Elena's. I'm sorry this is happening but…" He paused then, trying to find an easier way to explain it. The two girls were still newbie vampires. They were still living their first lives as if they were human, not fully understanding the things that need to be done as a vampire to ensure that their secret was kept.

"We have to leave Caroline." Elena said softly beside him, staring into the fire. "We're not wanted here anymore and Stefan can't stay here any longer."

"What? I do-"

"He's been here for years and he hasn't aged." Elena explained meeting Stefan's gaze then. "Neither has Damon. People will start asking questions soon. It's just best to leave now."

Caroline huffed a few times, staring at Stefan as if trying to get him to disagree with Elena but he didn't. It was time to move on, find a new place to settle down. As long as he was a vampire, he would never have a stable home if he wanted to live near humans.

"Fine, I'll just, go home and pack." Caroline huffed standing up. She covered her face and Stefan knew she was counting to ten. "I'm going to have to tell my mother. How am I going to tell her?"

Stefan stood up from the sofa, walking around the table he wrapped his arms around her holding her tightly. He didn't know what she was going through, but he could imagine. When he turned his only family that he had cared about was Damon, who at the time, he was going to die with and his father whom he had gone to say goodbye to. He'd never been attached to a human before due to his blood addiction so he'd never had to leave one since he'd turned.

"It'll be ok Caroline. You'll see." He comforted. She nodded her head into his chest and held him tighter for an extra moment before walking out the door.

He turned Elena then, taking in her closed appearance. She was curled in on herself in the corner of the old sofa, staring off into nothing. He felt bad for her, knowing that she probably felt like she was losing everything again. This time her brother and her home. She was no longer wanted there.

"Maybe we can talk to Caroline's mom? Tell her what's going on and she can force Bonnie to not kick us out?" Elena suggested halfheartedly as Stefan sat down next to her.

"She can't do anything. Liz is human, Bonnie is a witch." He said dejectedly.

"How is that by the way? One second she's just a normal person and next she's trying to kill Caroline"

"I don't know." He admitted. "Bonnie's lost her powers before for various reasons. Maybe becoming the anchor somehow restored them, if she even lost them in the first place. Witches from the other side have proven they still have their magic's when they cross over."

"I don't like this Stefan, at all. Everything's changing far too quickly and I don't know where I really am."

Silence descended the room again, as Stefan sat back tiredly in his seat and starred at the celling a ceiling. It was high up and dark but with his vampire vision he could easily see the cob webs up there and made a mental note to grab the duster before Damon saw them.

His heart constricted then. Damon wouldn't see them. He won't notice that in the past six or so weeks the large house that he had spent countless hours keeping pristine was being attacked by dust mites. They were not welcome there anymore, and Bonnie would kill Damon if they brought him here.

He looked over to Elena who lay on the other side of the couch, knees brought up to her chest resting her chin on them deep in thought. He watched as she tapped her fingers on the side of her leg in no particular rhythm, seemingly like a nervous tick.

"What are you thinking about?" He asked her quietly to not startle her from her thoughts. It didn't work however as she jumped slightly in her spot. He watched eyes go wide and stare at him and for a few beats before she settled again and bit her lower lip. "What is it?" He asked again.

"I think I know where Damon might be."

"Bonnie why would you do that?" Jeremey asked angrily as they drove away from the boarding house in Matt's truck.

"She only did what had to be done Jer." Matt defended as Jeremey scoffed.

"What needed to be done wasn't to kick out my sister and her best friends. This is their home too." He argued, glaring at Matt as he turned his view from the road for a moment.

The truck was silent through the rest of the ride. Bonnie in the middle hadn't said a word since they left the boarding house and refused to look at either of them. Instead she stared straight ahead on the road ignoring the angry looks that Jeremey gave her. He was pissed off at his girlfriend in a way he had never been before.

He won't deny he's very hesitant about potentially bringing Damon back to Mystic Falls in the current state he appeared to be in. It was a huge risk to a lot of people, people he was close to, but that didn't mean that everyone had to be banned from their homes.

The truck stopped outside Bonnie's house, and Jeremey gave a final glare at Matt before getting out of the old truck. He held his hand out to help bonnie out of habit and then closed the heavy door once she was clear.

"You coming home?" Matt asked confused, obviously expecting Jeremey to get back into the truck with him.

He shook his head and gave a small waive. "I'll be by later to pick up my stuff." He told Matt and then turned to catch up with Bonnie as she reached her front door.

They entered the empty house, her father out on a business trip yet again. Jeremey shivered in the cold, wrapping his jacket a little tighter around himself, before flames burst forth around him from all the candles and the fireplace lighting into a hearty flame.

Jeremey rolled his eyes as he turned towards the heat and sat down next to the fire to wait for Bonnie to come back out. He knew what he had to do, he had made the decision long ago but hoped he would never have to act on it. But his girlfriend was pushing the issue and Jeremey couldn't abide by it.

She came out a few minutes later holding two cups of hot chocolate and he had to resist rolling his eyes at her again. He loved her so much and he knew that she loved him too but he couldn't help but feel frustrated at how much she still saw him as a little kid. He didn't expect tequila shots like when he hung out with Damon or even Matt and Tyler, but she could at least offer Coffee over hot chocolate.

"I know you're upset Jeremey…" She started as she sat down next him.

Jeremey took his mug from her and immediately placed it on the coffee table in front of them.

"Upset doesn't even begin to cover what I am Bonnie."

"It has to be done. It's gone on too long!" She argued, setting her own mug down.

"It doesn't matter it's not up to you Bonnie!"

"But I'm the one who suffers the most." She bit out angrily. "My grams died, I died, and my mother was turned into a vampire. Even you died Jeremey. You died because of all this crap that happens here. And it all started with the Salvatore's."

"You can't-"

"Yes I can Jeremey. If Elena had just stayed away from Stefan none of this would have happened."

Jeremey shook his head and stood up. "I don't believe that." He told her. "Damon and Anna came here for a specific reason, to get Katherine out of the tomb-"

"And she wasn't even in there!"

"It doesn't matter Bonnie. They didn't know that until after, at least Damon didn't." He paused, glaring down on the woman he loved. "If it weren't for Stefan and Elena, Damon would have gotten into that tomb and released all those vampires. It would have caused devastation Bonnie."

"I've made my decision." She glared at him. "I'm not going to change it. Maybe in a hundred years or so they can come back here, but until then, they need to leave. This town needs to have a chance at normal again."

With another sigh Jeremey shook his head, understanding there was nothing he could do to change her mind. He sat back down on the couch next to her and gathered her into his arms. Closing his eyes he took a deep breath, inhaling the scene that was uniquely her, memorizing it and locking it away in his memory.

He pulled back from her, meeting her confused green eyes for a beat before leaning in and placing a gentle kiss upon her lips, savoring the feel and taste of them as she opened her mouth allowing him to press further into her. It lasted for several minutes before they pulled away, breathless and he felt a single tear escape his eye.

"Jeremey wha-?" She started to ask but he placed his finger across her lips to silence her.

"You made your choice Bonnie." He said, moistening his lips. "And I am making mine. Elena is my only family, and I go where she goes. And if she's gone, than so am I."

With that he stood from his spot and begun to head towards the front door, leaving Bonnie gaping in his wake.

"Jeremey, please!" She pleaded behind him and he paused for a moment, closing his eyes tightly for a second before opening them up.

"Goodbye Bonnie." And with that he left her house and headed to Tyler's now Matts house to gather his few possessions.

A/N. Please Read and review. I love them. they make me happy and want to write more.

charahkids: LMAO yep. that just about sums it up. Guess you don't have to watch the show now. *nod*

Guest: I don't think Damon's stable, not at all unless he's with Elena and even that is iffy.

. : Thank you. I hope you continue to enjoy it.

ScarletRose (Guest): Yeah, i Know Stefan is actually a douche bag for for my story I'm making in a little less of an ass. I need him to be nice for my story to work out. I hope you continue to enjoy it though!

ZuzusPetals1985: Delena all the way! Thanks for the review!


	5. Chapter 5

A/N: thanks for Reading and Reviewing those who did. Please continue to do so.

I Know Bonnie and Damon are 'friends' the past 2 seasons but in the season this is from they weren't so i feel ok making her a bitch.

Chapter 5

Elena stood at the foot of the bed looking around the large mostly empty bedroom. Boxes littered the clean floor, half filled with mostly her own things as she sat dejectedly at the end of the bed. She had been packing for most of the night, picking and choosing what she would take with her. Since she burned her house down after turning off her humanity she didn't have much that she would want or has to keep, so her deliberation wasn't for her, it was what to pack for Damon.

With Bonnie's decree that she would kill Damon should he ever come back to Mystic Falls, though if she meant in her own life time or ever was unknown at the moment, so it was left to Elena to pack up Damon's possessions. It wasn't really on what to pack, it's where he hid them.

Elena sighed, and fell backwards on the large bed and stared at the ceiling thinking. Damon loved his privacy, that was no secret, and while he gladly shared his space with Elena, she knew that he kept most of things hidden away from prying eyes, including hers. The only place she knew about what the loose floor board in his closet where he had kept the box along with a bunch of other items such as passports, money, and some accessories.

She had packed a bunch of his clothes, the ones that she knew he absolutely loved and the boxes were taped up and put next to the door awaiting for Stefan to come and put it on the truck, but they were material items. The Salvatore's didn't want for money so they were all replaceable. It was the other items that she may be missing that she worried about.

"Hey, these ready to go?" Jeremey asked, startling her from her thoughts. Elena sat up on the bed and looked over towards the door where Jeremey had his hands on top of the stack of boxes.

"Yeah, yeah they're ready." She said, standing up again and walking to the open dresser drawer. She felt his eyes on her and Elena tried to ignore it, knowing that he was giving her the sad pitying look that everyone seemed to give nowadays.

"It's going to be ok Elena. You'll see." He said softly and she turned back towards him. Jeremey leaned on top of the boxes relaxed and for some reason it miffed her. Their world was falling apart again and Jeremey just breezed around like it was no big deal.

"No, it's not. Nothing will be ok. Ever." She said annoyed and slammed the drawer shut harder than necessary before turning to him. "I don't want you to come Jeremey."

"It's not your choice."

"It is. I don't want you uprooted and on the run. You're just a kid, still in school." She argued.

Jeremey just smiled patiently at her, it wasn't the first time they've had this fight that day. "I can do school anywhere, or I'll just get my GED."

"Jeremey-"

"And you're not really on the run Elena. You just have to move from here. We'll find another place, far from Mystic Falls. We'll get Damon back and rehabilitated and you'll live the rest of your eternity madly in love with a reformed serial killer who would do anything for you. Just the way it should be."

Elena laughed and shook her head. The prospect wouldn't sound appealing to most people but her brother always had a way of hitting things right on the nose.

"You're my only family Elena." He said quietly. "I may grow old and die someday while you stay the same and eternal, but I will never leave you, especially when you need me. Home is wherever you are Elena."

Elena wiped the tears that fell down her face away, and gave a reluctant smile as she vamped over to him and wrapped him tightly in her arms until he complained. They pulled apart as Stefan entered the room and watched them a second before looking around. She gave Jeremey a slight nod as he picked up one of the boxes and took it out under her watchful eye.

Once he was out of sight she finally turned to Stefan who stood near the bathroom with his arms crossed, looking around appraisingly. Sighing again, Elena went over to the side of the bed, opening the drawer from the nightstand. She pulled out all the small odds and ends that littered the bottom of it and placed it on the bed to put in a box. She figured since it was so near it might be something he may want.

"How's the packing going?" Stefan asked stiffly, still standing by the bathroom. Elena turned to him and shrugged, extending her arms out to indicate her progress.

"I have all my stuff packed, its Damon's stuff I'm worried about." She huffed and placed her hands on her hips. "How did you pack so quickly? You have more stuff than the two of us combined."

"I'm not taking everything." He shrugged.

"But-"

"I'm not going to stay away forever Elena. This is my home, has been since 1846, and Damon's since 1839. This house was built by my family and it still is ours" He explained as she eyed him. "Bonnie can ban us for now but someday perhaps we can come back, or convince her decedent to let us in for a bit or whatever can happen."

Elena shook her head and picked up the items from the bed, carrying them to the open box by the fireplace. "I still…I can't." She started but couldn't get the words out.

She felt Stefan watch her as she closed the box and tapped it up before picking up the half empty box next to it and putting it on top of it. She looked around the room warily, trying to find anything out of place, or something that would catch her eye that she should take, but nothing did and she felt her heart sink. She only had two boxes for him.

"Here." Stefan said standing next to her suddenly and handed her a book. She looked at the green worn cover and smile splayed across her face.

"He actually read this to me." She said, hugging it close and she looked up at him. He had an expression of bewilderment that caused her to laugh.

"When was that?" He asked her. Elena looked down at the book fondly, before looking back at him.

"It was during the summer after the whole cure thing. We didn't want to get out of bed, we just wanted to be near each other. So he reached for this book, and he began to read to me." She told him.

Stefan returned her smile then and took a few steps away from her, looking around the room again. "When we were human, and I was still very young, he would read to me." He told her, turning around to face her again. "He once told me that once Mother was pregnant with me he would practice his reading almost nonstop because he felt he had to be proficient to read to me every night."

Elena nodded, knowing the tale. Damon had told her one night after she complimented him on his out loud reading. She was a proficient reader, and if she said so herself, a more than adequate writer, but she still stumbled whenever she had to read anything out loud. But Damon was so smooth and his voice was so soothing. She missed those days when they would just curl into each other and do nothing.

"What's wrong?" Stefan's soft voice asked, breaking her own thoughts again. She looked back up from the floor and gave a slight shrug.

"I just feel kind of overwhelmed." She admitted. "This whole Katherine thing, and the Damon thing and now the Bonnie thing. I just, I don't know what I'm doing anymore or where I'm going." Her voice cracked at her confession, but she swallowed the sob that was trying to come out. "All I can think is 'I want Damon'.

Stefan nodded at her in understanding, and she knew that he did. If anyone would understand missing Damon's presence it Stefan. "Do you need any help?" He asked her.

"Well, if you know some of Damon's hiding places that would be nice." She said, indicating to the two boxes of his things next to her. "I haven't found many personal items."

"You probably won't. Damon never kept much nearby." Stefan told her. "I think he might have feared their destruction. He never really owned much in the way of personal possessions."

"Never own anything you're not willing to put a hole in." She stated with a laugh remembering him constantly saying it after he took her shopping once her humanity was back on.

"Exactly. If there's anything we miss then I'm sure we see if Bonnie will allow Jeremey back in to get it." He tells her and Elena begins to feel some of the pressure release.

She closed up the final box at that and took a final look around before sitting back down on the bed. Stefan stayed for a moment longer before picking up a couple of the big boxes and headed out, giving her a few minutes alone.

Elena fell back on top of the bed again, staring back up at the high ceiling and took a couple deep breaths, smiling slightly at the scent of Damon surrounding her. She hoped they would be able to return some day. She loved this house, and this room, and this bed. But most of all, she loved this tiny little town in the middle of Virginia.

"Wow, this place is…" Jeremey gawked.

"Yeah it's really…" Caroline joined standing next to him.

"Old?" Stefan offered helpfully as he got out of the truck as they stood in front of the large manor.

Elena slipped out of the passenger side of the large truck gracefully and came to stand next to Stefan with her hands on her hips looking up at the house appraisingly. It was indeed old, obviously built sometime in the 19th century if not earlier. The house was huge and the front was designed as a large rectangle of bricks with two stories and high arching windows that led out to a balcony on the second floor. Elena had no doubt that the back of the property sprawled out into various wings, gardens, and rooms they could all get lost in.

"I was going to go with 'big'." Elena said, cocking her head to the side. The other two nodded their heads in agreement as Stefan gave a chuckle and turned back towards the truck to open the back door.

Elena continued to stare up at the big house, noting the nearby trees that sheltered it from the high Pennsylvania sun. Bushes lined around the bottom with large stone pots around full of dirt where plants must have once flourished. She turned from the house and walked a few feet around to get better stock of the front. It had a large wide semi-circle driveway with a large white pavilion with lattice panels draped in in wild vines. The property was then cornered off with a beautiful ornamental gate blocked off with to standing brick pillars at the main gate blocking anyone from coming in. The property was large and expansive from where she stood, with trees surrounding it hiding it from view even from the private drive.

"This kind of looks like the ruins of the old Salvatore Manor. Except you know…not ruined." Elena mentioned walking to the back of the truck where Jeremey and Stefan began to stack boxes.

Stefan paused what he was doing and stood up straight looking around himself as he gave a nod seeing her point. It was a beautiful property, she had to concede and it made her wish she could have seen their home before the fire destroyed it in the late 1800's.

"This was my uncle's home. He built it for his wife in 1820. My father had fallen in love with it and when he moved to Mystic Falls he had built the house in resemblance to this." He explained, hoping out of the truck and pulling the keys from his pocket. "He died in 1863. They opened their home after the battle at Gettysburg for the injured that needed to be taken away from the battlefield, but wasn't quite ready to be let go yet."

Elena gapped at that. While her family history is steeped in matters such as the Civil War, sometimes she forgot just how closely Damon and Stefan were to the actual event. It was so long ago for her, but for them, she couldn't even imagine. She looked up at the house again, feeling it tower over her and she felt her stomach clinch as the full realization of why Stefan had chosen this place.

"Hey, why don't you go inside and pick out a room." He told her handing her the keys. "It's really dusty and dirty, the house has been locked up for about thirty years, but I'm sure you're find the perfect room." Stefan smiled at her as she nodded her head.

She turned away from her two friends and her brother, glad that Stefan had given her an out as the other two stared forlorn and pitying towards her. She knew they meant well and that they were just concerned but she just wanted to hide from their sad faces for a while.

She stepped up to the front door, pushing the old fashioned key into the lock and turning it until she heard a click, she opened the door and stepped into the house, leaving it opened. The foyer was large with what must have been white marble flooring and a high ceiling. To her left was a large room with what must have been considered comfortable chairs at one time leading her to believe it was the parlor, and to the right was another large room covered in books. She stood at the doorway of it as she looked around, impressed by the collection that must be housed there. The room was larger than that of the boarding house which was larger than her high school library.

With a shake of her head at amazement she returned to the foyer and ascended the stairs that was against the wall on the right, holding loosely to the banister as her feet lightly walked up the marble steps, curving slightly as it reached the second floor.

At the top there appeared to be two hallways, each lined with doors with tables in between against the walls or plant pots. Paintings adorned the walls and she figured they must lead to different wings of the house. She paused only for a moment before she felt a tug to go down the right and she began her trek.

She stopped at the first closed door curiously, wondering what could be in there and pushed the door opened. The room was larger than her bedroom and also had the walls covered with shelves housing more books. Figuring it must be a reading room, she backed out of it and closed the door quietly before continuing on.

Elena stopped every few doors, opening them and peaking inside, seeing various bedrooms, all larger than most bedrooms by normal standards, but none of them spoke to her. She kept walking, taking a left at the end, heading down another wing exploring before looking ahead of her and seeing the end of it, a final door standing closed. She stared at it curiously, noting the dark wood it was made of and the Victorian bronze door handle.

Pausing outside the door for a moment, she watched the light dance across the wood from the sliver that peaked out from behind the heavy curtain that was next to the door. She knew that this was the room for her and Damon and she hadn't even stepped in to it yet.

Without further ado, Elena grabbed the old doorknob and twisted it, opening the door slightly. The room was dark as dark heavy curtains covered all the windows, but with her vampire eyes she was able to see some of the room. It was large and uncluttered just as Damon's had been and she felt a jolt of happiness course through her.

Quickly running to the other side she opened all the curtains and let as much light flood in as was possible. One entire side of the room was all windows, ceiling to floor with a door leading out onto a private balcony, while the wall to the left of it was partially ceiling to floor windows as well. Elena peered out eagerly, seeing the large expansive back yard and garden, though they desperately needed to be taken care of.

Turning her back to the windows she finally got a good look at the room. Against one side of the wall was a large four poster bed with maroon velvet curtains hanging from the top. It wasn't as big as Damon's bed but it was pretty damn close. Opposite the bed was a large fireplace and then against the same wall with the door stood a couple of large real wood dressers.

Vamping to the bedroom door again, near it was two wood panel sliding doors that she thought was a closet, but as soon as she slid them open she was surprised instead to see a large bathroom instead. It was beautifully decorated with marble and brass with a large claw foot bathtub as the center.

"This room is going to need some serious redecorating." Stefan's voice startled her and she turned around, eyeing him as he leaned against the doorframe of one of the sliding doors. "Damon will so not stand for this."

Elena gave a short laugh and looked around nodding her head. It was true, Damon may be from the mid-19th century but he was very much appreciative of current technology for personal hygiene. "I think a lot needs to be redecorated and updated. I'm surprised this place has a bathroom."

"Well, it was updated several times in the earliest part of the 20th century while it was used as a hotel resort of such, but after that it was rarely used and there was no need." He explained, stepping out from the door frame and back into the room looking around the same way he at the boarding house while he was in Damon's room.

Elena followed his eyes, noting the high ceiling with a chandelier hanging. She wondered if it were made for candles or electric, but she was sure they wouldn't use it in any case. She appreciated Damon's taste in lighting, using the natural light of the fire and various soft lamps and sconces along the walls.

"Don't worry Elena." He told her, placing a hand on her shoulder. "The benefit of being rich is the amazing things you can accomplish. Cleaners will be here later today and contractors will be here tomorrow."

She nodded her head understanding and took one final look around the room before turning to exit the room. Stefan followed her, closing the door tightly behind leaving a post it note on it with Elena and Damon's initials. She quirked her brow at him curiously as he shrugged.

"It's so the others know the room is claimed, and the contractors and cleaners know to focus on it first." He told her walking past. She followed him as they walked down the stairs and she eyed the boxes that were neatly stacked in the foyer off to the side. Stefan stopped at the bottom, giving her a look before he opened his mouth a time or two but no words came out.

"What is it?" She asked him curiously and he gave a sigh, looking towards a door that was hidden under the stairwell.

"I need to show you the room." He started. "Where we'll probably be keeping Damon until he's himself again."

Elena felt anxiety in her stomach but she nodded her head and followed him to the door. He unlocked it with another key, and she watched him curiously, not understanding why the door would be locked. Stefan pushed opened the door and they stepped in. There were shelves lining the walls, obviously a pantry, making the door locking more sensible. Stefan continued to the other side, pressing in a panel hiding a lock behind it.

She watched as he unlocked that one and the whole wall seemed to swing opened leaving dark passageway beyond. Stefan took out a flash light from his pocket, turning it on and headed down the stone steps further down into the house. The air was cold and still and Elena was glad she was dead or the dust would kill her with allergies. Once they hit the bottom of the steps she stopped suddenly at seeing row upon row of racks still full or wine and other alcohol. She stepped up to the nearest one and carefully pulled out the bottle closest to her reading the aged label of a wine from Italy with the date 1804.

"Wha…how?" She stuttered holding the bottle to him curiously as he chuckled.

"Salvatore, Italian, we like our booze." He explained walking further into what was obviously a cellar.

"Apparently. If you have some Bourbon here Damon might be a lot more agreeable." She stated putting the bottle back and following him.

"Yeah, don't worry Elena. He'll be plenty satisfied." He dismissed as he hit the end of the row or wine stopping at a door.

Elena stopped next to him, staring at it. It was a plain door, nothing special and definitely a lower quality from any other door upstairs. He looked at her for a moment before pushing forward and begun to unlatch all the locks, which there were nine and opened the door.

She stepped inside and her mouth opened wide as Stefan followed with the flashlight.

It was worse than the cell at the boarding house. The walls were made of stone and the floor was made of dirt. On one side was an old cot that looked as if it would collapse if one breathed on it wrong with a metal chair in the middle that had chains attached to keep the occupant in it or strung from the chains hanging from the ceiling.

"No." She shook her head vehemently. "I don't know what this room was for, and I don't want to. But we are not keeping him down here Stefan." She told him defiantly.

"It's the most secure room where he would do the least damage Elena. It won't look like this, I'll compel some contractors to come update it so he'll be comfortable, but we have to."

"No!"

"Only until we can assess his state of mind." Stefan continued ignoring Elena's shaking head, following her out of the room.

"He's not an animal Stefan, he's a person!"

"He's a vampire!" He roared back. "A very dangerous one when he's not in his right mind."

"What…what was this room even for anyways? Why is there chains, and chair? There's no windows Stefan, it's completely closed up and isolated." She ranted

Stefan shook his head and closed the door again. "It doesn't matter what it was used for. That was a long time ago. I promise it'll be better than it is now, but we have to keep him where he'll be safe."

"From what?" She bit out angrily.

"From himself Elena." Shouted angrily. Elena glared at him not responding, knowing that he was probably at his end at the moment. Stefan exuded calmness and understanding but she knew he was feeling the strain of everything that was happening, that he wasn't unaffected from getting kicked out of his own house and his brother out there missing and killing people because he's in pain.

"Fine." She finally conceded, swallowing down any harsh words that were jumping at her to spit at him. "But I want the final say ok?" Stefan gave her a pained expression before turning his gaze away from her. "Please Stefan. If it's not suitable than we'll put him in a bedroom or something. He's been miserable enough, I refuse to add anything unnecessarily needed. We need to him back Stefan, not for him to pull away."

Stefan nodded his head finally relenting though she could tell that he wasn't happy about it. "Fine." He said walking past her and towards the stairs again before stopping. "Once the contractors come and I give them instructions, we'll all go to Gettysburg and get him."

A/N: Delena shall be coming up soon. never fear. Please Read and Review. I Love/Need to know how i'm doing here. Helps the direction.

 **Finley Jean:** Thank you and you're welcome.

 **Guest:** yeah, I agree. I adored Matt until then and now I'm anti-Matt.

 **Sese (Guest):** I decided not to use Enzo, at least for the time being. Maybe in the future if I need him but for now he's not in. I like Steroline, I know a lot are against it but they're good for each other. And i'm a HUGE fan of the Defan brotherhood. I feel there's a lot of love between them they just don't know how to show it.

 **She Made Him Good:** I know, the whole Bonnie thing is messin me up, but at this time they weren't friends so it fit.


	6. Chapter 6

A/N: And to the next installment. Thank you for reading. PLEASE review. seriously I need to know how I'm doing. Personal review thanks at bottom.

Chapter 6

The cleaners had come not long after and immediately Stefan had put Caroline in charge of directing them. He knew what needed to be done and could do it but Caroline was in her element when it came to things like this, and if he were honest, he was glad to give her a small reprieve from the worry and sadness of leaving her mother behind.

Once the construction workers were given their orders for the cellar, Elena and he jumped into her car and took off towards Gettysburg, PA. He wasn't sure if it was luck or not that Elena felt that that is where Damon would be but he would take it. With their current predicament of having to move, it was a lucky break that he had already had property somewhat nearby. Gettysburg was only around 45 minutes away and Stefan was pretty sure he was going to have to incapacitate his brother in some way. The shorter distance will be to their advantage.

"What if I'm wrong?" Elena asked suddenly, breaking the silence that had been filling the car as they drove. Stefan took his eyes off the road for a moment to glance at her, meeting her worried eyes before turning his eyes back to the front.

"What do you mean?" He asked curiously.

Elena turned her body to face Stefan more and he felt her eyes bore into him. "I mean what if I'm wrong about where he is. What if he's not really in Pennsylvania? This could just be a dead end trip, wasting our time when we could be looking someplace else." Stefan gave a small chuckle and shook his head, seeing the sign for Gettysburg only a few miles away.

"Well it's too late now, we're be there in a few minutes." He told her.

Elena turned her body to face the front once more and she stared out the window. From the way she was breathing Stefan could tell easily that she was upset over his words and he felt a pang of guilt for being so glib.

"I don't think you're wrong Elena." He told her softly, not taking his eyes off the road as he felt her eyes on him once more.

"Why? It's just a guess." She told him.

Stefan took a deep breath and gripped the steering wheel tightly. He didn't really believe her when she had first told him the night they were kicked out. She seemed so small and sad and at first he thought she was just grasping for straws, grasping for anything to keep herself tethered to where she was. However the more she explained it, the more she showed the maps and the patterns, the more it made sense.

"It's a good guess." He told her. "There is a pattern there. He's specifically not hunting within a certain area in in Pennsylvania. It's as good a place to start as any."

"But he did hunt nearby Stefan, that's why I question my theory. It has to be wrong."

"No, the timeline is solid. The camper's murders were a few weeks after the previous. Most likely he was starved and hunted the first nearby humans he smelled." Stefan explained, keeping his focus ahead so his mind wouldn't replay the crime scene images that had accompanied the report.

Vampires were violent and mostly messy when feeding, however the blood bath that took place in that tent was beyond that. The only reason a vampire would be so volatile in such a situation, where it was dark, it was a family, children were involved, would be starvation. Humans would fight for their lives but with two children, one could just crawl into the tent and calmly drain each member without really needing to spill any blood.

"That's what doesn't make sense Stefan, why would he do that. He fed solidly for weeks and then takes a break only to brutally murder an innocent family of four? That's not Damon."

"It's not the Damon you know." He told her, glancing at her for a second. "To be honest not really the one I know either."

"Than-"

"Let's just not make assumptions until we figure it out. If anything we can at least find who did it and stop them even if it's not Damon."

With that Stefan took the next exist off the freeway and entered Gettysburg. He hadn't been there in years, not liking the history that surrounded it. He was never in the war but he had known those who were, such as Damon. His brother had come home two weeks after the news of the battle had taken place. The way he looked still haunted Stefan even to that day, and made me wary and cautious of wars and conflicts.

They pulled up to the national cemetery visitors parking not long and Stefan turned the engine of Elena's car. They sat in the silence staring out ahead looking at the monuments and gravestones. Stefan almost dreaded getting out of the car and walking the cemetery and battle grounds. It wasn't just a piece of history to him, he was alive then. Not in the exact location but he was alive when it had happened, a sixteen year old waiting at home for news of his brother only to hear of the bloodied battle.

"Come on." He said softly, grasping her hand for a second before getting out of the car.

Walking past the gate and into the cemetery, Stefan swore he could feel the presence of the lives lost, and that Elena could feel them too as she wrapped her light jacket tighter around herself. The cemetery was empty with the only sounds being from the wind rustling the leaves in the nearby trees. Not even the chirps and songs from the birds seemed to penetrate the hallowed air.

"It's so eerie." Elena said softly, breaking the silence. "In school, it was just a place, a battle that happened over a century ago. Aside from curiosity from our town being so involved in the war, I've never really felt anything about it."

"Being here is different though, I know what you mean." Stefan said as they continued to walk down the path in no particular direction.

"It's like I can feel them. Feel their sorrow." She said solemnly. "I'm not sure I like how their death is effecting me. Is this a vampire thing?" She asked him.

Stefan shrugged his shoulders. He didn't know, he couldn't tell her at least when it comes to this as it comes too close to home for him. He'd been to many cemeteries in his whole life but he'd admit that he's never felt anything like how he felt right now. Perhaps it was because instead of the ground being filled with the dead over the years from various causes, the ones lain here to rest were dead because of a war that tore their homes apart, that they were connected in that way of wanting the same thing, a safe country to live.

"Damon never said much about the war to me after he came back." Stefan started as they turned down another path. "I was sixteen years old when this battle happened. I had gotten a letter from him a few weeks previous stating that the 23rd Virginia Infantry, which he was in was ordered to move north. I was remember being so scared then."

"I understand that fear. I feel it every time Jeremey gets involved with anything dangerous." Elena sympathized placing a few pats on his back as they continued walking.

"I get that's scary for you Elena but trust me, nothing can compare to this." He stated. "We had heard news of the battle right away but none of Damon. My father didn't seem too concerned but I was a mess. I couldn't eat or sleep, I spent most of my days on the front stoop waiting for news much to my father's dismay."

"I don't even know where we should look Stefan. I don't think we'll just trip over him wandering around." Elena said grimly as they stopped in the middle. All around them were white head stones and various other types of markers littering the grounds.

"The majority of the buried are Union soldiers here. There are few confederate graves, most of them were sent back to the south a few years later." Stefan told her. "But there are unmarked graves still on the battlefield."

"Then that's where we shall go." Elena stated firmly heading towards where the sign pointed. They walked in silence for several moments reverently glancing at the headstones as they passed. "So when did you hear of Damon?" She asked, obviously wanting to hear the rest of his story.

Stefan thought for a moment, his mind going back to that day he finally saw his older brother, the man he looked up come home. "It was past two weeks after the battle. The names of some of the dead and wounded were trickling in and I would read every one of them eagerly, hoping and praying that I wouldn't and would find his name on any of them."

"That I can't imagine. Hoping to see some news but dreading because of what it would mean." Elena piped in.

"Exactly. But then one very hot day in July, I was sitting under a tree in the front writing in my journal. Ira, one of our servants had just brought me some fresh made lemonade that made me think of Damon because it was his favorite when I heard the gallop of a horse and shouting from the slaves."

Elena looked up at him curiously and gave a wan smile. "They were shouting that Master Damon had returned and such excitement it caused. I ran immediately to the front and stood waiting, eagerly as he approached. I was just busting with energy and I wanted nothing more than to just wrap my arms around him and hug the life out of him and never let him go back.

Then he approached and my gut lurched. He was so ragged and thin and dirty. Once his horse, Melody stopped, he practically just fell off. Luckily Henry and Andrew were there and caught him immediately taking him into the house." Stefan swallowed stopping where he was as Elena held onto his arm.

He swallowed hard as he looked at anywhere but her worried sad expression, knowing what she was thinking and that she felt it too even though she wasn't there. He was scared the whole time, even more so than when his brother was gone. He had stood vigilance outside of Damon's room, standing straighter whenever someone went in or out the door. Stefan had wanted desperately to go in and see his brother him himself and be sure that he was alright, but their father expressly forbade him from going in, not that his father had seen Damon at all himself.

It had been over a week before he was finally permitted in and only because Damon had requested it after hearing that Stefan had stood outside the door waiting for him. Stefan would never forget the way Damon had looked, he was still thin and ragged but he was clean then and he looked much happier for it. His brother leaned against the headboard of his bed with his eyes closed as the fire in the mantle burned bright and warmly, the light dancing across his brother's face in the dark.

Stefan had been afraid to speak so he just stood there weakly staring at his brother until Damon finally opened his tired eyes and saw him, giving him a warm small smile as he reached out his hand for him. Stefan had immediately ran to him and wrapped his arms around his skinny frame and began to cry unabashedly as Damon held him as well, placing his chin on the top of his head and whispering comfort to him.

"Damon." Elena's soft gasp broke him out of his reverie. He turned around quickly to look behind him and there laying in the middle of the battlefield that was still littered with ancient cannons and other debris from the battle was a lone figure.

Stefan reached his hand out and grasped onto Elena's arm tightly as he felt her start to vamp run towards him. She struggled against him uselessly, he was older and stronger than her, as she fought to be let go and go to his brother.

Brining his other hand to grasp her other arm Stefan brought her back against him and leaned in to whisper in her ear. "We have to be cautious." He warned her and she stopped fighting. They stood staring at each other for a few moments before he gave a nod of his head and she seemed to have grasped what he meant and took off.

Now on his own, Stefan took a few calming breaths and begun to walk at a normal pace towards his brother, not wanting to startle or alarm him until he knew what state of mind Damon was in. The grass crunched softly as he walked upon it, heading in Damon's direction. As he approached closer Damon made no move or indication that he had heard Stefan's footsteps come his way.

Stopping about a yard away, Stefan took a moment to take in his brother's appearance and presence for the first time in almost seven weeks. He looked haggard and out of it. His normally prim appearance that he had taken so much pride in was now disheveled and dirty. Blood and dirty covered him from head to toe masking most of his skin which Stefan could tell was paler than normal and slightly desiccated which confused him.

Damon's dirty hair was longer than he last saw it as it tangled in around his face and to the ground where twigs, leaves and grass seemed to make permanent residence now, and all around him was the stench of death. Damon's grim appearance worried Stefan more than if he had found his brother in the act of draining a school bus of children. At least then he knew what he'd be dealing with, this Damon however, Stefan was afraid he was at a loss.

Taking another beat or two to take in his brother, at finally finding him, Stefan then took a few more steps closer to him, walking slowly as to not alarm him. Damon however made no notice, his eyes still shut tight, face tilted up to the sun, arms and legs spread out leaving him very vulnerable.

"Damon." He said so quietly that a human would miss it. Damon made no indication that he heard Stefan, leaving Stefan slightly perplexed. "Damon." He said a little louder.

After a few more beats Stefan quickly closed the distance between the two of them and knelt on the ground next to his brother and reached out gingerly to touch the side of his face. He held himself stiff, ready for Damon to strike an attack on him but as he brushed his fingers against the rough skin of his cheek, his brother didn't move an inch.

Confused he knelt closer, placing both hands on Damon's shoulders and gently shook him, calling out his name again, louder than before. "Come on Damon." Stefan sighed slightly panicked as he tried to wipe away some of the grime that covered his face.

"What's happening? I figured he'd run." Elena exclaimed, suddenly kneeling on Damon's other side. Stefan didn't reply as he continued cleaning Damon's face, relieved at seeing he wasn't really grey and veiny indicating he was alive. He let his fingers trace down his face to his neck, feeling the bones underneath to see if they were broken and he was just incapacitated, but they seemed fine and he felt Damon's shallow heartbeat below this skins surface.

"I don't understand." Stefan stated pained. "He's not hurt, why isn't he awake?"

"Damon, Damon wake up." Elena said more forcefully and she attempted to run her fingers through his raven hair, causing Stefan to grimace as seeing how greasy it was.

Stefan watched sadly as tears begun to fall down her face in rapid succession as she lifted his head from the ground and placed it gently in her lap. She pulled out a travel bag of tissues, though why she had them he didn't know and observed as she used the fat teardrops that fell from her land on Damon's face and use them to wipe more of the grim away from him.

They sat there alone together for a while until the sun began to set. Looking up at the sky and noting clouds starting to gather and that it would start raining soon. They had to get Damon out of there and back to Carlyle where hopefully the cellar room was ready.

"Elena, we-" he stopped mid-sentence as he looked down upon his brother's face. A small smile seemed to have taken residence there and he looked less pinched and stressed. "Damon?" He said softly again.

They waited with bated breath as his eyes fluttered slightly a few times before finally opening just a crack. Elena gave a sob of relief and leaned over him, shielding him away from Stefan's view with her hair for a moment.

"Am I finally dead?" His voice cracked from obvious lack of use. Elena let out another sob as she sat up and met Stefan's own pained eyes. "Is it over?"

"Is what over Damon?" Stefan asked weakly. Damon closed his eyes again, taking a stuttering breath that would alarm Stefan if his brother wasn't already technically dead.

"It doesn't matter." He sighed out breathlessly. "Nothing matters. It shall never end." With that he seemed to have lost consciousness once more and Elena gave out a loud sob clutching his body tightly to her.

"What is wrong with him?" She cried, rocking gently.

Stefan was at a loss for words. He didn't know. He didn't prepare for this. He had only expected a battle, a fight to get Damon back. With the violence and body count Stefan had expected a humanity less Damon would fight tooth and nail against them. He expected a fight of epic proportions that would leave the both of them scarred, screaming angry things at each other, hashing out past wrongs as they always did.

Shaking his head, Stefan opened his coat and pulled out a syringe from the inside pocket. Elena's eyes widened at the sight of it.

"Is that really necessary Stefan? He's not even aware of what's going on?" She argued, pressing Damon even closer to her, trying to keep Stefan away from him.

Stefan grimaced slightly looking at his seemingly ill brother. He looked weak and feeble and if it was anyone else he wouldn't think it necessary. But over a century of knowing his brother through good and bad has taught him to be cautious and never under estimated him, because when you do, that's when he's his deadliest.

Nodding his head Stefan leaned over and placed the needle to Damon's neck, plunging the vervain into his brother. Damon's body slacked even more as the poison began to take effect immediately, and Stefan hung his head down in relief.

"You didn't have to do that. He's not a danger. Not to me." She bit out angrily, moving out from under Damon in order to carry him. With her vampire strength Stefan knew that she could do it, but it was still light out and a girl her size carrying Damon would raise a few eyebrows. That and he didn't want anyone else to get ahold of his brother.

Standing up quickly, Stefan bent forward and took Damon in his arms, Elena following quickly, placing his fallen arm gently across his chest. Without further delay the two of them walked quickly across the grounds back to Elena's car. She got in the back seat first, allowing Stefan to place Damon in with her so his head was lying once again on her lap. He wasn't happy about it, wanting to put him in the back tied up, afraid that vervain wouldn't keep him down, but Elena had refused, and instead of another batter he just allowed her what she wanted.

Elena's voice muttering soft words of comfort to Damon behind him was the only thing to break the silence in the car on the way home. It was only 45 minutes but to Stefan it felt like a life time. His brain spun theory after theory on how or why Damon seemed to be ailing. Based on his activities and the body count he had been feeding, and quite well. Damon was strong and could easily beat anybody especially a human. There seemed to be no answer for his current stated that Stefan could think of, and he wished that Bonnie was on their side so maybe she'd give them some answers.

"He's going to be ok." Elena said from the back, and Stefan looked in the review mirror to meet her gaze in the dark. "I don't know what's wrong with him, but he's going to be ok."

Stefan didn't say anything, not sure what to tell her. Part of him wanted to comfort her but the other wanted to believe her. Wanted to believe that no matter what was going on Damon in the end would be fine because he always was.

However something inside of him this time didn't think it would be that simple.

 **A/N: And now...the story starts moving. Please Review.  
**

 **She Made Him Good:** Damon's mostly back now! gangs together...but will that be enough. *dramatic pause*

 **:** Glad to hear it! hope you continue to.

 **DAWN (Guest):** Thanks for reading it!

 **Finley Jean:** He's not but heart break and mental instability will make you do crazy stuff.

 **Delenadiva (Guest)** : Bonnie would so kill him. Nope he's not going to MF

 **Mina (Guest):** Well here is more!


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N: Thank you all who reviewed..the few who did. Enjoy the chapter. PLEASE READ AND REVIEW.**

Chapter 7

Much to Elena's disapproval, Stefan had pulled over halfway to Carlisle to inject his brother with another dose of vervain. She had argued that Damon hadn't made a sound or a move and therefore was completely out already but Stefan had wanted to be cautious. She had spent the remainder of the trip fuming in the back seat with Damon's head on her lap soothingly trying to run her fingers through his dirty matted hair and cooing softly to him though he most likely couldn't hear her.

Soon they arrived back to the mansion as darkness began to settle in. Elena watched out the window as Stefan drove up to the front of the house, noting that the lawn looked mowed and there were still people about setting up large lights in order to continue working. She shook her head and gave a short roll of her eyes thinking of her friend Caroline and how it was most likely her that had set it up.

The car came to a stop and Stefan immediately got out, opening the door next to Elena and standing there meeting her gaze for a few beats before reaching in and taking his brother from her. She fought for a moment, afraid to let him out of her site but then let go allowing Stefan to take him.

Slipping out of the car after him she took a moment to pause, raising her hands high above her head stretching. She didn't need to really do that anymore but it still felt great and the habit of it was impossible to shake as she felt the muscles in her body contort. Finally closing the door behind her she walked to the entrance seeing both Caroline and Jeremey standing on the landing watching the both of them anxiously as Stefan walked passed them and into the house.

"What happened?" Caroline whispered to her as she reached the door. Elena just shook her head not ready to talk about it, not even knowing what it was as she entered the house.

The sight of it made her pause as she looked around it curiously. Gone were the dust and cobwebs, the darkness and the musty smell. In its place everything was cleaned once more, somehow brought back to its original grandeur in just a few hours. The foyer was bright and inviting as the lights above them and the sconces around the walls, giving them an old timey feel reflected off the high polished floors and white washed walls. Taking a few more steps in Elena could still smell the cleaners and paints that had been used to get it to this but it was breathtakingly beautiful.

Her attention was broken however as a few workers exited the hidden door under the stairs allowing Stefan to pass by. They didn't say anything or even seem to acknowledge that their employer was carrying an unconscious man down into the basement. She wanted to feel annoyed or indignant but it would be pointless as they were most likely compelled.

Bristling, Elena stormed passed them and followed Stefan down the old steps that were now lit brightly allowing her to easily see the path before her. Stepping at the bottom of the steps she paused for a moment to look around, impressed at the quickness the construction workers had managed to update the cellar. It was still dank and creepy but cords now dangled above them holding electronic lanterns as well as along the wall as sconces lighting the place up. She could now easily see the many rows of wine, blanching at how large the cellar actually was.

Shaking her head she continued down the middle path stopping just outside what was the cramped dingy cell that she had been worried about placing Damon in. The cement walls had been cleaned and a dark wood paneling had been placed over it making the room feel more like a den then a cell. A light source had been added all along the top of the room bathing it in soft light but not overwhelming the occupant. The chair and chains in the middle had been removed and in its place along one wall was a twin sized bed that already was made with sheets and comforter and a dresser had been added on the other side as well. On the right there was another door that hadn't been there before, and as Stefan laid Damon down upon the bed carefully, Elena opened it and spied a sink and toilet surrounded with the same wood paneling. It was small but it would work for the time being.

Closing the door she looked back into the room and came to stand next to Stefan as he stood over his brother, arms crossed over his chest and brows furrowed in worry. She wished she knew what he was thinking, figuring it was probably along the lines of what she was. Elena could tell that he was worried, but he also seemed perplexed as well. Finding Damon in the state that did wasn't what they had exactly planned for, but she wouldn't let that get in her way of getting her Damon back.

Hearing footsteps come down the stairs, Elena turned and saw Caroline heading towards them, a grim expression still on her face as she carried an armful of what looked like towels and blankets. She watched her carefully as Caroline got closer to the room and her expression turned into a grimace as she finally got a good look at Damon.

"How is he?" She asked needlessly, but Elena didn't point that out. Instead she shrugged her shoulders and reached out for Caroline's burden.

"Thank you." She said placing the pile on top of the dresser before grabbing a washcloth from the top and walking to the bathroom. She felt both Caroline and Stefan's gaze on her, watching her movement but she didn't care as she carried on with her task.

Turning the water on, she was pleasantly surprised that they had hooked up the hot water to the bathroom. Getting the washcloth wet and then wringing it out, Elena then walked back into the room heading directly toward Damon. She could tell by the stiff movement Stefan made towards her that he wanted to stop her from approaching him and she ignored him. Sitting on the side of the bed next to him she opened the cloth and gently began to properly clean his face, sighing in relief and being able see the real him again.

"Elena you shouldn't be too close to him. He'll wake up any time now." Stefan warned her quietly. She ignored him and continued on her task, wishing she could wash his hair for him. It was all matted and tanged.

"Care can you get me a brush?" Elena asked her friend as she wiped down his neck.

"Elena…" Stefan started and she ignored him further. She wasn't going to leave Damon there alone all dirty. He would be horrified if he knew what stated he was currently in. Damon was very particular and liked to be neat and clean. "Elena we should…"

Whatever he was going to say however was cut off as slight movement from Damon caught there attention. The air grew tense as Stefan hovered closer to her obviously waiting for whatever move Damon was going to make. Elena however just felt elation of his return and leaned over him slightly and began calling out to him in a soft manner.

Nothing happened for a moment or two as they stayed where they were, until suddenly she felt hands on her head grip tightly and suddenly she was outside the room as Damon slammed into it hard, veins moving beneath his dark red eyes as he hissed.

"Did he just-"

"Try to snap your neck? Yes he did." Stefan said calmly watching as Damon pounded the door as hard as he could, throwing his whole body at it as they watched through the glass panel Elena hadn't noticed before.

"Damon, calm down." She said loudly bringing her hand up to the glass trying to sooth him, but the action just caused him to growl and throw his body into the door. "Damon…"

They both turned quickly at a clatter behind them, seeing Caroline standing there with her hand over her mouth and the brush she had brought down now on the floor. She met Elena's eyes, wide and afraid and Elena frowned. She didn't want them to be afraid of him. They couldn't help him if they were afraid.

"Caroline leave. Now!" She shouted at her friend startling her. Caroline's eyes moved between Stefan and her but made no move to leave until Stefan turned from his brother and gave a slight tilt of his head.

Annoyed at their little exchange Elena was going to say something but dropped the subject as the sound of Damon collapsing in the room drew her attention and Caroline fled. Stepping up to the door Elena peered in between the blood splatted across the glass pane to see Damon on his knees with his face in his hands touching the ground. She couldn't tell by the trembling of his shoulders and back if he was having trouble breathing or if he was actually crying but either way all she wanted was to get in the room.

Tentatively, Elena reached her hand out to the large heavy handle on the door, placing her hand on it lightly deciding if what she was doing was a good idea. Damon had been so subdued in the graveyard even before he was vervained. She couldn't even fathom him like that being able to kill as many people as the reports said.

However his current condition, angry, volatile, frightening. This was the monster that they were all fearing they would find and it broke her heart a bit to see it be true. Still, Elena wouldn't give up on him, she wouldn't abandon him. Katherine had made a mess, had destroyed him, broken his heart and Elena was determined to fix it, to fix him, because she loved him. He was everything to her and Katherine had broken him.

"Elena don't." Stefan barked loudly, placing his hand on hers to prevent her from opening the door. She scowled at him at drew her hand quickly away.

"He's hurt Stefan. I need to be in there." She spat.

"He's dangerous and disoriented right now. You go in there he could very well kill you." Elena shook her head in disagreement.

"He would never hurt me, he loves me." She dourly told him, feeling a little satisfaction seeing Stefan run his hands over his face frustrated.

She reached her hand out once to the door when Stefan reached out and grasped her wrist so tightly she was sure the tiny bones would break. Elena attempted to pull away from him, feeling her shoulder pop as he held on tightly and scowled up at him for a moment only to stop suddenly at his hard glaring eyes, never seeing such anger directed at her by him before. She stopped struggling and glanced back at the door once more, seeing Damon had collapsed onto his side then and was curled up in a fetal position. Everything in her body came to life once more as she fought desperately against Stefan's hold.

"Let me go Stefan!" She cried, tugging again. But Stefan just sighed tiredly and let go of her wrist only to place both his hands on her shoulders and violently pushing her hard into the opposite wall.

"You need to listen Elena." He sneered at her, his face only inches from her own. She could feel his warm breath on her face and it caused her heart to speed up in fear as he gripped her tighter, pushing her further into the wall. "He loves you, more than anything. But he doesn't know about Katherine."

"Thank I'll tell him!"

"It won't be enough, can't you see? He believed it was you and now he's broken and unstable. Just going in there and telling him, we'll do, but he won't believe it and he'll fight. Hard."

Elena shook her head again and let out a shaky breath. "I don't believe that. I'll tell him the truth, and he'll realize it was Katherine being her normal manipulative bitch self and then we can work on healing and forgetting her."

"Or he doesn't believe you and think it's a convenient lie to trap him and stop him from whatever self-destruction he's decided he deserves. Or worst, he believes you and thinks you're still Katherine." His jaw was set as she took in his words, not liking either scenario. But Stefan was right, Damon's mind always went with the worst case scenario and without thinking, just acting as some form of punishment or self-preservation, he lashes out.

"I-I don't know what to do." She confessed tiredly, tears forming in her eyes once more.

Stefan released her then, his arms dropping to his side as he stood in front of her. "I'm not sure at this second, but one thing that we do know is that he's older, and stronger than you. You have no chance to fight him off. And if he kills you-"

"That would be the end of Damon." She conceded.

"Yes." Stefan nodded, turning back to the window and watching his brother. "And as much as I am your friend, if you do anything to jeopardize my brother, you will regret it. I will make sure of it."

With that Stefan turned away from her and the door and headed back towards the stairs leaving Elena gaping after him stunned. She had never been spoken to like that by him before and if she was honest with herself it scared her. Stefan was considered the calmer mild one of the two, but it was no secret that he was just as dangerous if not more so than Damon when the need arose, a fact that Elena was more than aware of. She didn't like his threat but at the same time it warmed her a bit as she stood languish at the door, watching the person she loved listlessly lie on the newly carpets or his new prison, that somebody else loved him. That somebody else will fight for him and his sanity, because she didn't think he would fight for it himself.

Everything felt wrong. Felt different. No longer did he feel the moist softness of the grass below him. No longer did the cool breeze brush across his face freely as his mind wandered in no particular fashion. He didn't know exactly when everything stopped and his senses dulled into nothing, but the first sensation back was the rough brushings of a cloth across his face. It was wet and made his skin feel raw but he welcomed the feeling of its cleanliness.

The feelings of hands on him, brushing through his matted hair was the next thing. He tried not to wince, not wanting whoever it was that the hands belong to, to realize that he was no longer in the state of unconsciousness they believed him to be. He tried to hear if there were any voices, to hear who is captures were, but his hearing was so dull from misuse that the voices only came as a dull roar and pointless noise as his mind tried to piece together the sounds into words. He'd had no need for words recently, only sounds, telling him of nearby humans, nearby prey.

He finally decided on the moment to strike and moved quickly but still too slow as the person who was touching him was suddenly on the other side of a closed and locked hard door with a glass pane. He saw the faces, familiar to him but unable to place as he ran to the door and slammed his body into it. It didn't budge and he didn't really expect it to. Anyone who would dare capture a vampire would know to be prepared to hold him.

The two on the other side considered to stare, gap at him as he made continual attempts to get out. Slamming and banging his body over and over again against the door, not caring about the blood that stained the surface as his battered skin broke at the violence he forced into it.

He saw another approach and he fought harder, screaming now his rage and delighting in the fear that they had shown. He liked that fear, he wanted that fear. It made him feel in control of his prey as he hunted them, fed on them. Drained them of their life force and watch the light seep out of their eyes leaving them dull and lifeless.

He paused for a moment as one of them, a dark haired female shouted at the new one, giving them an angry look for a moment before they dropped what was in their arms and fled back where they came. It made him glad. One less enemy to deal with at the moment.

He watched the girl reach out and try to open the door and he willed it. But the male next to her stopped her and they began arguing causing him to give a few extra pounds and screams as they did so. It was when the man shouted a name at the girl. A name that struck every cord inside of him and caused his heart to beat harder as if it would rip to pieces.

Elena.

With one final hard push against the door, he fell hard onto the carpeted floor onto his knees, sitting there for a moment as the name reverberated around his head and heart before placing his face into his hands and falling forward to touch them to the floor. His whole body heaved and trembled as tears fell down and he closed his eyes tightly willing them and the ach away, to will away any pain.

Everything around him faded, there were no sounds, no scents, nothing felt. He felt his body collapse to his side and he slowly brought his legs up against his chest and tucked his face as much as he could between his knees and chest. He still felt his body tremble and he closed his eyes willing it to go away, to stop.

Time once again meant nothing. It passed by without his notice and he didn't even know it was gone. Everything was just blissfully blank again as it had been since that dreaded day and he wanted to keep it that. There was no point in feeling anything else but the blackness.

Elena gave out a tired sigh the second the last of the cleaning crew left her new bedroom. The bed had been delivered and set up earlier and the cleaning crew had just finished cleaning the bedroom and putting brand new sheets and blankets upon it.

With another sigh she hopped up on the tall bed and laid down across it, not bothering to move up to the pillows. The mattress was soft and firm like Damon's previous one and the bed was just a huge. She knew once he was better and could be brought out of the cellar that he would approve of it.

Despite all that was accomplished today, amazingly so, there was still a lot to do in the house. The contractors were currently working on the kitchen overnight and the next crew would be back during the morning to start work the bathroom in their room.

As she knew it would, Elena's mind drifted back to Damon, seeing his reaction in her mind's eye. It had scared her, she'd admit. A lot. She had never seen Damon act like that before and she was frightened. He was so animalistic in his actions, in his desperation to get out of that room. She had been tempted to open the door, not only to get in to be with him but to let him out.

Then he had collapsed and every molecule in her body told her to get to him. To check him. Make sure he was alright and if he wasn't than to hold him tightly and kiss away all his pain. Stefan however had once again rebuffed her effort to get to him. She seriously hated him for that, standing between her and Damon, but all his reasons were justice and she knew he was sincere. Stefan wanted Damon back just as much as she did and she was glad that at least one of them had a level head.

With another sigh Elena sat up and jumped off the bed, heading over to the wall near the large windows. She could barely sleep last night, her mind reeling on Damon and the bed being so old and uncomfortable, she had spent the night inspecting every aspect of the room. A house that big and old, Elena knew there would be tons of hiding places and secrets and she was successful in her search. Next to the large panel windows on the wall was a hidden catch near the floor that opened up to a small hiding place. She was dismayed to find nothing hidden in there but it was perfect for hiding the most important treasure.

Opening the hidden space Elena took out the little box that was Damon's most prized possession. She rarely ever let it out of her eyesight, afraid that if anything were to happen to it then Damon would disappear. She knew that was unrealistic, but the box and the assurance of its presence was the only thing that had kept her together knowing that Damon hadn't been gone for good like the others believed.

Climbing back upon the bed, she settled this time against the headboard this time placing pillows behind her back as she reclined. Placing the box into her lap she sat there just staring down at it. She hadn't opened the box, and had no intention to. There was no doubt in her mind that at some point Damon would show her its contents. They were together, forever.

Nobody seemed to love Damon, something that had always baffled her. All they saw was the monster within and she understood that, but nobody ever looked deeper, never looked on why he was such a monster. That it was self-preservation from all the hurt, pain and rejection he had endured over his long existence.

She had found it though. It was shining bright right in front of her and she embraced it, embraced him and tried to encourage him to do the same while trying to get others to see it too. It was an amazing transformation, even Stefan said so. He was less angry, less vengeful. Damon started doing things for people to help them not hinder them and it was beautiful and she loved him so much for it.

Elena allowed herself one last sigh before placing the box underneath the pillow next to her that would be Damon's and scooted down further in the bed to rest her head on the pillows. She was too exhausted to change out of her clothes and she just wanted to sleep, because with sleep comes the morning and in the morning, they'll start healing her love.

A/N: So, I work in horse racing and the Kentucky Derby is next week so...There probably wont be a chapter next week but I'll try.

Again..Please please review. I'm not usually one to beg for reviews but I've barely gotten any and I seriously don't know how this thing is doing.


	8. Chapter 8

Thank you for reviewing:

 **Mina (Guest), BVB'sLegacy, scarlett2112, Whitney1278, Finley Jean, Guest, She Made Him Good, megabill, Bernadette1943, & Chooch77**

Chapter 8

The sun felt surprisingly warm on her skin as Elena leaned back on her elbows in the cool grass, tilting her chin up to meet the light. It had seemed like forever since the last time she had felt the warm tingly feeling of the rays upon her body. Since her transformation every sense was the same, slightly numb, neither warm, nor cool, always the perfect temperature and rarely ever feeling any difference. Until this moment she hadn't quite realized how much she missed being able to feel the sensations of temperature change and she felt a sad pit in her gut as she remembered what it was like to be human.

"Do you have any idea how beautiful you are right now?" Damon's voice whispered in her ear, sending her skin into a frenzy as his warm breath gently blew the stray hairs.

Elena opened her eyes slowly, turning her face towards Damon's and grinning widely at him as he lay sprawled next to her on his side, head resting in his palm. His smile was genuine, and her heart beat faster at the rarity of it and the blessing that she was one of the few he would chose to grace it to.

"You seem pensive.' He told her with a quirk of his perfect brow as Elena let her body drop fully to lay on the grass below her, folding her hands over her thin stomach. She watched his face as his eyes followed her every movement and she shuddered at the feeling of elation it gave her.

"I was just thinking how good the fun feels today." She sighed, looking up at him. Damon gave a slight shift of his shoulder in a shrug as he looked up at the sun for a moment before looking back down at Elena. It was only a second but she drank in every bit of the momentary happiness that had crossed his face as he did that and it took her breath away as she lost her way in the bright soft blue of his eyes. She loved seeing him the sunlight as it made them seem bigger and brighter, making her feel like he could see right through every part of her.

Reaching out her left hand she grabbed his own that lie casually on his side and laced their fingers together. A sense of peace encompassed her and from the slight shudder that Damon gave she knew he had felt it too. They were meant to be together, she knew it. Stefan was just a stepping stone, an open door to get to where she was meant to be. She was meant to be best friends with Stefan, a confidant and she was, but Elena knew without a shadow of a doubt, that she was meant to love Damon.

"It feels kind of different this time." Damon said softly, his statement confusing Elena. She sat up slowly, turning her body to face him but not releasing his hand as he did the same. She carefully eyed over his face, taking note of every line and every tick.

"What do you mean?" She asked him curiously.

Damon didn't answer, instead looking down at their entwined hand solemnly, gripping it tightly as if he were afraid to let her go. Elena placed her other hand on top of theirs and dipped her view down to Damon's eyesight to catch his attention. It worked and he gave a sad half smile and looked up her as she returned it, scooting her body a bit closer to his, not liking the space between them.

"What feels different Damon?" She asked him again gently, desperately wanting to hear his answer.

Damon however shrugged his shoulders once again and looked out beyond them and Elena did the same following his gaze. For the first time she took in where they were and felt her breath still at the sheer beauty of it.

Nearby was a pond of sort that was clear with reeds and grass sticking up through the water. She could see flies and other creatures glide around on top of the water creating ripples and tiny splashes from whatever lived in it.

The grass that they lay upon was a deep shade of green that was soft and lush with wild flowers of various kinds spreading out all around them fragrancing the air with their beautiful perfume. She listened for nearby sounds, trying to capture where they were and if anyone else was nearby but the whole area was surrounded by tall trees effectively hiding them from the world.

She felt a sense of peace come over her and love. She felt safe in this little haven and wished that they would never have to leave. That she and Damon could stay in that spot forever, just the two of them, and never let the rest of the world in to hurt them anymore.

"Where are we?" She finally asked, curiosity getting the better of her. She didn't want to know really, enjoying the mystery and the secret that it held, but she could tell that it meant something to Damon and she wanted to know all of him.

"Just a place." Damon shrugged again. "I found it on accident one day while I was out riding. I was twelve and had yet another disagreement with my father, so I had Jake, my horse saddled up and I just rode."

As if on cue the soft snort of a horse and a stomp or two nearby startled Elena from the story and she looked behind her, eyes going wide at the sight of what had to be the most beautiful horse she had ever seen, with its raven black coat the same as Damon's hair. It was a horse that looked dangerous and one she would have stayed away from if she'd seen it anywhere else, but she could tell, like Damon, the creature had a gentle soul and just needed a bit of kindness for its loyalty.

"Where did he come from?" She asked, more to herself than to Damon who still looked out across the pond, not noticing her scrutiny.

"I didn't have a destination but Jake seemed to know his way, as if he were being pulled in this direction. Eventually we ended up here." He told her, finally turning his gaze back to hers. "I've never shared this place with anyone. Until you that is."

Her heart fluttered at his admission and a large grin covered her face showing her perfect teeth as she leaned in and placed a kiss upon his lips, bringing her hands to the sides of his face to hold him to her a few moments before pulling away. But her smile began to fall slowly at his narrowed brow and gentle tracing of his lips with the tip of his finger in confusion.

"What is it Damon?" She asked him softly and he looked up at her again but his gaze was out of focus and she felt as if he wasn't seeing her.

"It's never felt that real before." He muttered quietly. Her own brow narrowed at that and she ran a hand gently through is soft locks, tugging lightly at them the way she knew he liked.

"What does that mean?" She asked him, leaning her forehead against his. "How did we get here?"

As the question left her lips the sun disappeared causing the world around them to turn dark grey as wind picked up and blew hard all around them causing Elena to have to close her eyes as debris flew past. She felt the warmth her skin had soaked up dissipate back to its normal temperature and she looked up at Damon. He looked more curious than surprised at the sudden change of their environment and something about the look caused some fear to course through her.

"What is happening Damon?" She asked him, raising her voice to be heard over the thunder that began clapping angrily above them. Damon continued to stare unblinking at her for a moment or two longer before responding.

"You've never asked any of that before." He whispered. Rain began to poor down in huge torrents instantly soaking the both of them. Elena's first instinct was to run and hide from the rain but Damon's unmoving form caused her to stay where she was.

"I've been here before?" She asked astounded, searching through her mind but she knew she wouldn't remember anything. She wouldn't be able to forget a place like this with Damon. "Katherine? Did you come here with Katherine?" She asked him, heart sinking slightly at that prospect. But Damon just shook his head, water flying in all directions as he did so.

"Only you Elena."

Elena startled awake, bolting right up in bed and frantically looking around. The sound of a hiss and a thud on the floor next to her drew her attention as she vamped out of bed and next to the body lying there, sighing in relief at seeing Jeremey.

"You alright?" He asked her concerned as he continued to lay where he fell gasping for air from the obvious wind that was knocked out of him.

Elena didn't answer him as she looked frantically around the room, realizing where she was and then down at herself, touching the clothes she had fallen asleep in and her hair noting that they were both dry. It had just been a dream but everything had felt so real. Every touch, every sense, every smell, everything was real as if she were really in that mysterious field.

"Elena, what's going on?" Jeremey asked her finally getting up off the floor, groaning as he did so causing Elena to grimace, realizing it was because of her that he had fallen. She immediately grabbed onto her brother squeezing him tightly until she felt him groan again in pain and quickly pulled back, grimacing again.

"Sorry Jer." She said, brushing his untidy hair back down and fixing his shirt.

Jeremey reached for her hands, taking them both in his own and holding them to his chest to stop her fiddling. "Are you alright? What happened?" He asked her concerned. Elena took a few deep breaths, still trying to get her baring's before shaking her head and pulling away.

"Just a dream, nothing important." She said, moving to the bed and smoothing out the ruffled blankets before slipping her shoes on, not bothering to change. "I'm going to see Damon." She told him once she was done and begun moving quickly from the room, Jeremey on her heels.

"Maybe you should have something to eat first." He suggested, jogging slightly behind her to keep up, but she shook her head and headed down the stairs only stopping when she bumped into Stefan at the bottom.

"I need to see Damon." She said firmly, trying to step around him but he blocked her path again causing her to scowl. Behind him stood Caroline with a tall glass of blood in her hand.

"You need to feed first." Stefan said firmly.

"I'll feed later Stefan, I need to see Damon!" She shouted at him and tried once again to go around him. She had to get answers, she had to see Damon. The dream she'd had was so real and she had to ask Damon if any of it was real.

Stefan took the glass from Caroline and gave a slight nod to her. Before Elena could figure out what was going on Caroline had grabbed Jeremey from the step behind her and whisked him away, leaving just Elena and Stefan on the stair.

"I know you want to see Damon-"

"Then get out of my way!"

"But you need to feed first." He told her again, not letting her take another step. "You're still a new vampire Elena. Remember your emotions are heightened and nobody brings them more to the surface than Damon."

Elena bit her bottom lip in thought, contemplating his words. She knew he was right. This argument was an old one stemming all the way back to when she first woke up from Katherine's possession. Her first and only thought was finding Damon, helping Damon, saving Damon. She knew she was emotionally out of control half the time and most of it was because she didn't feed as much as she should. She hated being so young and new to the bloodlust. She envied Stefan and Damon and all the other older vampires who could still control themselves and not have to feed so often to stay in check. The only except was Caroline but she was a control freak in life so it was no surprise she would master this control in death so quickly.

"We need to think logically if we're going to help him Elena. And that means you have to start feeding more regularly. You need to be in control." He stated as he held the glass out to her.

She nodded her head in understand and took the glass from him. It was slightly warmed but the blood was still cold. She didn't care, she never did. She always knew from the moment she found out about Stefan and first contemplated becoming a vampire that she would always chose a blood bag or other method first over potentially harming somebody. Once the sire bond was discovered and Damon tested it out by urging her to drink from a bag she had been so relieved.

Drinking the blood quickly, forcing her real face to stay down, to stay calm, to just take the nutrition and need from the blood and not take the pleasure in it so could hurry up and get to her destination, she gulped the contents down before handing the glass back to Stefan, hating his amused smirk.

With a growl of annoyance she finally side stepped him and headed for the hidden door behind the stairs and down into the secret wine cellar below. The room seemed bright and she noticed more lights had been hung over night as she headed straight ahead to the cell on the opposite wall of the entrance quickly and peered in, her heart thundering as hard as an undead heart could until she could finally see Damon for herself.

She signed in relief and seeing him still in the room, not that she had any doubt that he wouldn't be there. Damon was crafty and smart and she had no doubt that he could somehow find a way out of almost any situation. But she knew that, and so did Stefan. They were the two people who knew Damon the best and therefore would know what to look for and try to stop him.

From the looks of it however it didn't seem as if any of the effort was to be needed. Elena peered into the room, searching the darkened corners for him. The lights were set to dim with only a couple of the overhead ones on plaguing the room in darkness. There Damon sat against the opposite corner furthest from the door, completely in darkness as if it were a comfort to him, a safe place. She looked through the hard glass window, taking in every inch of his appearance that she could see.

He was curled up as tight as he could manage with his legs pulled up his chest with his arms around them holding them close to him. She could his eyes peeking up over his knees watching her warily, the rest of him face covered by them.

As Stefan came up behind her she took note that the window was clean once more as well as the floor and she wondered when that had happened, hating that she hadn't been there at the time.

"Has he fed?" She asked Stefan as he moved beside her to peer in on his brother. Elena watched his eyes shift from her over to Stefan and she wondered if he recognized them at all.

"We left a cup of animal blood for him on the dresser. He sniffed it for a moment before going to where he is now." Stefan explained.

"Animal blood? Stefan he doesn't eat that. He's not you!" She huffed, crossing her arms over her chest.

"He needs to feed Elena." He said tiredly, making Elena feel bad for the way she's been treating Stefan. It seemed like all they ever do now was fight about Damon when instead they should be working together to help him. But both of them were stubborn and had different ideas and ways on how best to help him and right now they were just clashing with each other.

They were going to have to get on the same page, and soon.

Taking a deep breath after making that decision, Elena dropped her arms to her side, turning slightly toward Stefan. "Ok, why animal? Wouldn't human be the best for him?" She asked.

"It would be but that would make him stronger. He's been feeding irregularly and violently for weeks. He needs to feed and gain his strength but we also need to be able to stop him…"

"If he gets out of control." She finished for him, understanding.

"Even on his worse day Damon will always be stronger than all of us. He's always had better control of his power." Stefan explained to her and she listened. It was true and it's something that had always amazed her. Even when he was out of control Damon had seemed to be in control, a contradiction that had kept her up many times at night.

"So what do we do now?" She asked. "What's the next step?" She knew what she wanted the next step to be but she was trying to be cooperative.

"Caroline and I vervained him after you left and cleaned up the room. He woke up half way through, and though he was weak he managed to get a few swipes at Caroline before I was able to stop him" Stefan explained.

Elena turned to him alarmed at that, anger coursing through her that they would do that to Damon. That they would drug him again and then use aggression on him. Unlike normal people, Damon didn't back off when aggression is used, he fights back harder. Stefan apparently noticed her appalled expression and gave a sheepish one of his own.

"I know, and I'm sorry. " He said. "We just don't know how to go about this. We don't know what is wrong with him Elena." Stefan confessed.

Elena eyed him warily, looking through the window once more noting that Damon's eyes were back on her, unblinkingly staring at her. It should have made her nervous or shudder but instead it gave her a warm feeling.

"What do you mean?" She asked absently. Stefan didn't say anything for several moments, letting the silence spread out between them until Elena finally looked over at him. His face was drawn and brows were furrowed in worry. "Stefan, what do you mean?"

"I mean he doesn't seem like Damon." He shrugged.

Elena thought about it for a moment before her eyes widened in fear. "He turned off his humanity? Stefan-"

"No, no. Trust me I've seen him without his humanity. Damon is ruthless and violent and honestly I don't think this room would hold him if that were the situation."

"Then what?" She pushed harder, afraid of what really was happening.

Stefan didn't answer for another moment or two before letting out a breath of air he must have been holding. "I don't know Elena. It's more like…like Damon isn't really Damon. He's less human and more animal or something." He said. "I don't honestly know." Stefan let out a frustrated breath and walked away a few feet, hands on top of his head.

Elena watched him for a moment before turning her gaze back into the room. Damon hadn't moved from his spot in the corner, blue eyes still piercing her dark brown ones. She wondered what he saw. Did he see her, Elena, or did he see her and think Katherine. That wouldn't make sense though, as far as she knew Damon had no idea about the possession.

"We can't give up on him Stefan." She whispered, wrapping her arms around herself once more. Stefan stopped his pacing next to her and dropped his own arms looking into the room. "If he's acting like a wild animal then we'll have to approach him like one until he changes."

She felt Stefan's confused gaze on her but she ignored it, refusing to break eye contact with Damon through the window. With a wild animal she knew making eye contact wasn't a good idea so she slightly lowered her eyes in order to still see him but not make eye contact. She noted that Damon's stiff posture shifted very slightly, almost unnoticeable once she did and it further sparked the plan that was developing in her mind.

"Is there any more animal blood?" Elena asked taking a step back from the door and looking around. Stefan eyed her confused for a moment before nodding and directing her further down the wall to a freezer that was put in.

They walked over to it and Elena opened the freezer, noting the blood bags of human blood as well as containers that were filled with animal blood. She picked on up carefully, placing it on the table next to the freezer where a bunch of plastic glasses were placed and opened it up taking a sniff.

"It's pigs' blood." Stefan told her. "Blood is blood to vampires but I thought it might go better for him to get something he would eat. Pig I mean not pigs blood."

Elena gave a small laugh. "He does love his bacon." She commented pouring the contents into the empty glass. It was thinner than she was used to even though it was slightly congealed from being cold and the smell was slightly off putting. Regardless she gave one last glance at Stefan before picking it up and walking to the door of the cell.

Elena stopped, looking in, seeing Damon hadn't moved and placed her hand on the door knob fully expecting Stefan to stop her. Instead he just reached over and begun unlocking the many locks that had been placed on it, allowing her entrance.

With one last deep breath, she opened the door, and entered the cell.

 **A/N: Sorry for the lateness, I've been lacking motivation. I'll try to get another chapter out in the next few days but next week is the next leg of the triple crown (horse racing) So of course, i'll be very busy that week so no chapter.**

 **Pretty Pretty Damon Please Read & Review.**


	9. Chapter 9

**Thank you all who have reviewed. It really motivates me to write more. Here is the next installment.**

Chapter 9

Taking a deep breath Elena cranked the heavy knob that kept the door between Damon and the rest of the world separate and opened it. She gave one last glance at Stefan as he put his hand on the frame, ready to close it shut quickly behind her as she took a step in and stood still waiting for the tale tell sound of the door clicking shut and the various locks being replaced. Fear trilled through her as she realized that should anything happen and Damon attacked she could very well be gravely injured or worse, dead before Stefan could get the locks undone and any help could come.

Ignoring that though however Elena took the momentary distraction to look around the room. It had been disorganized the night before when she had, with blood splattered everywhere and furniture in disarray. She hated the idea that Stefan and Caroline had gone behind her back and vervained Damon again, though she completely understood. She didn't want Damon to be stuck in the room with the evidence of his self-destruction surrounding him.

The room was dark, but not as dark as she originally figured it was from viewing it from the outside. The small amount of light from the top corners of the room reflected down on the walls and floor below giving enough light for one to see but still keeping shadows for those who would want to hide, which seemed to be the case at the moment.

She took a step or two further into the room still looking around until a low growl brought her out of her thoughts and back to the present. Her head swiftly snapped to the direction of the grown, eyes widening slightly as Damon's eyes narrowed and turned blood red, black veins flowing beneath what she could see.

Elena paused in her steps feeling fear for a moment before steeling herself away from it and focused on what was at hand. Lowering her eyes from his she looked down instead to his legs near his feet, using her peripheral to watch for any signs of movement. The growl rose slightly for a second before lowering again into stuttered rumbles and she knew it was the right move.

"Be careful Elena." Stefan's voice rang, muffled by the hard glass on the door. She glanced behind her quickly giving a reassuring nod and turned back to Damon. He hadn't moved from his spot, still curled up tightly around himself tucked in tightly in the corner of the room, but she could tell he was bracing himself, that he was holding himself tight and though it appeared she had the advantage being upright, she knew it was probably a ruse and he would snap like a snake and attack if threatened.

With that in mind, Elena slowly and carefully lowered herself down to the ground, gently placing the glass of pigs' blood on the hard wood floor steadily as to not spill it, and then placed her hands down on either side of it to balance. The growling ceased almost at once as Elena sat back slightly in a submissive position.

They stayed still in that stale mate for several moments, Damon obviously the aggressor as Elena made herself submissive to him, non-threatening. Risking a glance up at to his face, his red eyes were back to their normal beautiful blue, albeit a slightly darker than his normal shade. She took a few more deep breaths she really didn't need but still felt the relief from the act before she picked up the glass from the floor and held it firmly in both her hands.

Bringing it slowly to her lips she held her breath, not wanting to smell the pigs' blood as she took a small sip from the cup. Damon growled once again, his eyes turning blood red once again as he lifted his face from his knees baring his fangs at her with a hiss. Again her eyes widened a she lowered the glass, actually feeling fear, but she swallowed the blood and held the glass out towards Damon.

The hissing stopped suddenly but the growling that appeared to be coming from his chest continued on in a low rumble but he had yet to make a move towards the proffered blood. She wasn't sure what to do at that point. She wanted nothing more than to crawl over to him and wrap her arms around him but he seemed so frightened and on the defense.

"It's not working Elena, you should come back." Stefan called to her. "Crawl back slowly."

But Elena shook her head. She had come in this far and Damon had yet to move aside from lifting his head. Seeing more of his face Elena was able to see his pallid features. His skin was more translucent that it had been the day before, most likely owing to the blood loss from his struggle to escape. They didn't know when the last time he fed was but it must have been awhile as he looked slightly desiccated.

"Not yet." She said loud enough that Stefan could hear her but wouldn't startle Damon.

Determination on her mind, Elena placed the cup on the floor a foot or so away from herself and sat back watching him. She watched his eyes dart back and forth between her and the blood, hissing at her once more as he noticed her watching. She lowered her eyes once more and scooted a few inches closing the distance between her and the cup, pausing for a moment before reaching out and pushing the cup once more closer to Damon.

Each time she moved he would growl or hiss and once he stopped or it lessoned she would do the same thing, slowly making her way towards the person she loved, trying to earn his trust. At long last she was finally only a foot or two away, the bottom of the cup rested against the tip of Damon's socked foot. Elena was surprised by how close she had gotten, it would have been easy just to reach out to him but she resisted, telling herself that one step at a time. First they would get him to feed, get him to trust them, and then they could figure out what the hell was happening.

They both sat still for an indeterminate amount of time, Damon's eyes hard and blood red on her and Elena's slightly turned down with her head, hands resting on her thighs in waiting. She wondered to herself if perhaps she should back up now that he had the cup in arm's length but she didn't think it would really matter. There was already a cup of blood next to her up on the dresser that had sat there all morning untouched by her love.

With that thought in mind Elena slowly raised her arm, reaching for the untouched cup and pulled it off the dresser bringing it to her face. She sniffed it a couple of times, it smelled slightly stale from sitting there but she's had worst blood as she looked into Damon's eyes and tiled it back pouring some of the liquid into her mouth.

After a small gulp or two she lowered the cup, letting some of the blood coat her lips and dribble down her chin. She used her tongue to lick up the mess and swiped a finger up her chin covering the drop and sucking her finger clean of it, closing her eyes in pleasure as she felt her face change and the veins slither under her eyes. It had all disappeared by the time her eyes opened and she stared back at Damon as he watched her, eyes dark with lust or hunger she couldn't tell but his full vampire features were still showing and the veins around his beautiful pale face seemed to pulse harder than before.

She lowered the cup down to the ground and then slid it across to touch Damon's other toe, same as the first and then scooted back a couple of inches and waited with bated breath. Elena wasn't sure if this was going to work or not but she hoped so. She hated seeing him so drawn and ill looking. If they could at least get him back to how he was then she would feel as if they had at least some chance, some hope of fixing this mess.

They stayed in that impasse for who knows how long. If Elena had been human she knew her legs would be in pain or unable to be felt due to lack of circulation and she was grateful at that moment that she was a vampire. Finally Damon's right arm seemed to lessen its grip around his legs and Elena held her breath, afraid that they slightest movement would be disastrous.

Damon seemed to be testing her as he slowly moved his arm and reached out for one of the glasses, the second one that she had placed and picked it up carefully, keeping his eyes directly on her as he picked it up and brought it closer to his mouth, paused for a second before quickly gulping the contents down quickly.

A small smile splayed upon Elena's face as she watched him. She took the moment that he closed his eyes in relief at finally feeding to fully take him in and she watched as his skin seemed to fill out once more and become smooth again. Feeling like she could breathe again, Elena shifted off her legs to sit fully upon the floor, bringing them in front of her to cross. Damon's eyes popped opened, alert and let out a low growl from his chest that she ignored as she settled her elbows on her knees watching him.

They sat like that for the rest of the afternoon, at some point Damon and reached down and drank the other cup much to her delight. She didn't say a word, not even sure if talking would do anything at the moment anyways. Instead she just stayed there with him, letting him accept her presence.

**************************8

Stefan paced back and forth across the entire expanse of the library above, a double shot of bourbon in a crystal glass held tightly in his hand as he did so. His mind was a tangled up mess of thoughts and feelings, none of which made any sense or could help him in figuring out what was wrong with his brother.

He had spent over an hour down in the cellar, body tense ready to jump in if Damon had made any move towards Elena that could harm her. To his surprise nothing happened since the initial growling and hissing before he finally fed from the blood in the cups. Damon had made no further move from his darkened corner but he also made no further sounds, just watching the girl in front of him with narrowed suspicious eyes until Stefan pulled her out. She was reluctant, he could tell, and the moment they were clear of the room and the door was locked shut once more she had angrily expressed her displeasure.

However it was necessary as it wasn't safe for her to be alone and Stefan had to think, had to ponder, and had to come up with some explanation for his brothers' behavior. Which had led him to the library, and the pacing and the drinking that he was currently doing.

"I'd stay clear of Elena for a little while unless you want your neck snapped." Caroline's voice broke through as she stepped into the library. Stefan gave a slight nod of his head, saluting with the crystal tumbler as acknowledgement of her warning and begun to pace again.

His eyes traveled from shelf to shelf of bookcases covered from floor to ceiling with hundreds if not thousands of book that had been collected by his family members over the centuries, some dating back all the way to the renaissance period and beyond when the family had been in Florence, Italy. Stefan remembered his father frequently mumbling about the collection and how much he coveted it. He was a well-read man but as the second son he had not inherited a large portion of the Salvatore collection.

Giuseppe's uncle had migrated to the states many years before Giuseppe and his siblings. Stefan searched his mind for a name but none would come forward, and he wondered if perhaps he never heard it as his father was very bitter. Giuseppe's uncle only had one son and he had died young, leaving his vast fortune and everything of the Salvatore's history that he had brought with him to the states to the next male heir, Giuseppe's brother Giorgio who had moved everything further inland to where it was now in Carlisle, Pennsylvania.

Caroline sat down heavily on one of the couches that littered the room and let out a tired annoyed huff, drawing Stefan's attention away from his thoughts again. He turned around to being pacing to the opposite end but stopped after a few feet as he stared at Caroline.

She was slumped in her seat with her elbows on her knees and her chin in her palm. Her eyes were downcast and she looked deep in thought herself, but what caused the sting in Stefan's chest was the sadness that unfurled from her, casting a shadow on her normally excessively happy aura.

He licked his lips and turned his eyes away for a moment, unable to really see it. Caroline was always exorbitantly positive and happy to the point of being borderline crazy. She was always the one anyone went to when they needed real honest advice, or needed a pick me up, and especially if there was something that involved planning in any way. The woman was just very well organized, efficient, kind, and always willing to help in any way she could. Seeing her so sad made his heart ache and he hated it. Her mouth wasn't made for frowns, he thought, they were made for smiles, but unfortunately they were becoming far and few between as everything that could go wrong and has gone wrong piled up on them with no light at the end of the tunnel.

"Stupid question but are you ok?" Stefan asked, sitting down on the couch opposite her. Caroline raised her saddened face and met his gaze and she smiled, once again making Stefan's heart pound. He loved her smile.

"I'm fine, just…I called my mom and I miss her." She said, sitting up and crossing her left leg over her right. Stefan watched as she lazily placed her hands into her lap as she kept her eyes downcast.

"I know you do, I'm sorry this happened Caroline." He apologized. "She can come and visit any time, you know that right? She'll always be welcome here."

"I know Stefan." She smiled at him. "But it's not the same and I'm not sure I want her over quite yet. I don't think I even want Jeremey here." Stefan nodded in agreement. Right now was not a good time to have a human around, but Jeremy had given up his home to stay with his sister, and Elena desperately needed that connection with him to keep her sane while they put Damon back together again.

"I agree, but there's nowhere else for him to go." Stefan reasoned, knowing it was flimsy. He understood and respected Jeremy's decision to give up his relationship with Bonnie and friendship with Matt, but Stefan would have preferred to find a safer place for Jeremy then in a huge old abandoned mansion with a crazy vampire locked in the cellar.

"My mother would have taken him." Caroline said softly. "When their parents died, before Jenna came and while she settled they stayed with us. My mom, she adores the Gilberts. She would have been happy to take him in."

"Maybe we should convince him then." Stefan suggested knowing it was useless.

"I don't think you can separate Elena and Jeremy, at least not while Damon's condition is unknown." She sighed. "Any idea what is with that?"

Stefan shook his head. He had no thoughts, no ideas. He didn't expect to find Damon like this at all, he didn't even expect to find him this quickly, but Elena had proven once again that she knew Damon better than anyone, better than even him.

Stefan grimaced at that. It hurt him that he was no longer the one person who knew the complexities that was Damon Salvatore. They had been best friends and nearly inseparable during Stefan's seventeen years as a human. Damon was the one he went to when he was scared or hurt or needed advice or anything. Not his parents, never his parents.

Katherine coming into their lives had destroyed all that and Damon had he had spent over a century fighting and at each other's throats. The irony wasn't lost on him, and probably not on Damon either that the person who broke apart their supposed unbreakable bond was the same one who brought them back together. Technically. While Katherine and Elena were separate people, with different personalities, different hearts, and different morals, they were identical in everything else. In looks, in blood. They were exact carbon copies of Amara, the original immortal and countless other doppelgängers, same as him.

Even when they were fighting Stefan could still claim to know the most about Damon, but Elena had proved him wrong. That he didn't, or at least wasn't the only one now when she brought out that little wooden box he had made so long ago, claiming it was his most prized possession and would never leave it behind. He'd be an idiot if he didn't admit that he was a bit jealous.

But he couldn't be too envious of Elena because he was too grateful for her. He had come to Mystic Falls to start a new life and get to know her and his evil brother had followed causing mayhem. But she saw something in Damon that was good and she encouraged it and nurtured it, and though Stefan lost Elena he didn't really feel the loss as bad as he thought he would. And that was because she had brought his brother back to him, and he realized he needed his brother more than he needed Elena.

"Any ideas yet on how to fix Damon?" Caroline once again broke him out of his thoughts. He shook his head and sat back against the back of the comfortable sofa in thought for a moment before replying.

"He spoke to us when we first got to him. He asked if it was over, and that was it. We vervained him and brought him here. But ever since he woke up he's been…"

"Animalistic?" Caroline supplied helpfully and Stefan sat up again leaning towards her.

"Exactly. It's like he's acting on instinct which would make sense if he was starved, that's just our natural survival instinct. But he was slightly desiccated but he wasn't so bad off that he'd be how he's is now." Stefan explained frustrated.

"I wish Bonnie was here." Caroline said softly. "She would know what to do, or have some idea at least."

Stefan sighed annoyed at hearing Bonnie's name. He tried to keep his thoughts neutral about the witch who was formally a friend to him but every time he thought of her he just got angrier about how she treated both Caroline and Elena, her best friends in forever. If it was just him and Damon she banished it would be understandable, but Elena and Caroline had everything in that town, everything that kept them connected to their human lives, and they won't have that forever. Sooner than anyone will realize everyone they know and love will grow old and die and their homes and lives there will change as the world does.

"I know Caroline." He replied instead of voicing his thoughts on the matter. "But it's a good idea. You may be right, we may need a witch."

"Do you know of any other than Bonnie?" Caroline asked hopefully but Stefan shook his head.

"I've spent most of my existence either being a ripper or fighting it. I've spent it alone for the most part." He told her sadly. He had no doubt that Damon knew of some witches but he was currently not able to tell them where to find them, and he doubted Damon left any trail behind. His brother, while impulsive and very dangerous was also very charismatic and Stefan had no doubt in his mind that though he plays it off, that his brother actually may have some friends or at least acquaintances someplace out in the world.

They sat in silence together for a short time. It wasn't uncomfortable and Stefan felt peaceful as they did so. He wondered idly where Elena and Jeremy was, having not hearing a peep out of them since Elena stormed off away from him after he pulled her out of Damon's cell.

"I'll call Klaus." Caroline said determinedly as she scooted off the couch to stand up. Stefan felt panic course through him and shook his head.

"No, we don't want him involved in this Caroline." He told her. Though if he were honest with himself he wasn't sure if it was because he wanted Klaus to stay away from his brother while he wasn't himself or if it was because Stefan was well aware of Klaus' feelings for Caroline.

"I'm not going to invite him up or anything Stefan. Just ask if he knows of any witches in the area." She told him. "I'll be as vague as possible. I promise." And without further delay she took her phone out of her pocket and left the room leaving Stefan staring after her form.

He slump against the back of the sofa again and let out a tired breath, closing his eyes and thinking that he really needed another drink.

 **A/N: Again please read and review. It motivates me.**


	10. Chapter 10

Thank you all who had read and reviewed. The reviews really make me feel motivated and I write faster so please continue to do so if you can.

Thank you: **scarlett2112, CaryKate, She Made Him Good, . , .,**  
 **megabill, jairem, scarlett2112**

Chapter 10

Three weeks later there still was no word from Klaus. Caroline wasn't worried stating that he was probably just being petty. She did after all sleep with him after admitting some feelings and then sending him on his way with a promise to never show up again. She tried every day several times a day and Stefan was grateful for it even if he didn't think anything would pan from her idea. Klaus hated Damon, and if anything he would delight in seeing his brother in his current state and the chaos that had erupted between the Scooby gang of Mystic Falls.

Stefan didn't like to dwell on that though, didn't like to dwell on it. Instead he let himself get swept away in any and all activity available to keep him busy which was surprisingly not as hard as he thought it would be.

There was a lot to do in the house and the grounds and Caroline was in full project mode. With the unlimited funds of the Salvatore fortune and his blessing, she went all out and begun making the unused mansion come alive again. They hired cleaners and construction workers and gardeners to do most of the work, but Caroline didn't like to leave things to others, and she would dive right in assisting on everything and sometimes Stefan would join her.

He enjoyed that time alone with her. It was one of the few times he felt like a normal boy who liked a normal girl. She would pick a room and start scrubbing and cleaning or painting or whatever needed to be done and he would come in and ask if she needs help. Of course she didn't but she would always give him a wide smile and say 'duh' and the sound of her light laughter would lift some of the heavy strain he frequently felt in his chest.

The two of them would talk about everything and anything other than what was happening in the cellar below. Stefan would tell her stories of his time there, visiting his uncle in the summer time and the grandeur of the house. Whenever they walked around he would point out what had changed, what had been updated or upgraded. They spent a long afternoon in the garden as he described the rose garden maze his uncle had built for his wife after seeing the one Giuseppe built for Lilly, and Caroline would listen with rapt attention, asking questions and fascinated with every detail.

The distraction of Caroline las forever however and Stefan more frequently than not found himself sitting in the library with a glass of bourbon in his hands thinking about his brother. Feeling lost on how to proceed, how to help him. Right now his only goal was to make his brother comfortable until a solution presented itself.

After that first day when Elena had gone into the cell alone and slowly submitted and gave Damon the cup of blood, she had repeated the act several times a day. Stefan had to admit that it was getting easier for her now as Damon no longer growled or hissed like an animal when she came in. He even let her come closer to him though she had yet to touch him, which Stefan knew she desperately wanted to do. Elena was a very maternal person in life and even more so after death and he knew she just wanted to wrap her arms tightly around Damon and hold him until he was fixed.

That solution though would not work, especially as Damon rejected any and all physical stimulation, though he allows Elena to sit near him. Stefan was just glad she was able to coax him to sit in the corner on the bed and not stay on the floor. Damon still kept himself pressed against the intersecting walls as far back as he could, legs up to his chest and knees readily available to hid his face in if needed, but at least he looked a lot more comfortable. He would sit in that position the entire time Elena was in the room, and was always in the same spot whenever they came down to check on him. Stefan had debated installing a video camera in the cellar to see if he ever moved, but he wasn't sure if Damon would appreciate what little privacy he had being violated.

"Hey man, you alright?" Jeremy asked him startling Stefan out of thoughts and blinked his eyes a few times. He looked up at the young human and gave a small crooked smile at him.

"It's fine Jeremy." Stefan answered quietly, thought Jeremy didn't seem to believe him. The young man sat forward in a chair nearby and quirked his brow studying Stefan with a concerned expression on his face.

"It's not fine Stefan. It's ok to admit it." He said wisely. Stefan nodded his head in agreement to the statement, letting it roll around in his head.

"You're right. Everything is not okay. Everything is a mess Jeremy." Stefan confessed bleakly.

They sat in silence for another few moments and Stefan was regretting his confession until Jeremy sat back and scrutinized him a bit more. "Do you want to talk about it?" He asked sincerely, obviously wanting to help.

Stefan didn't want to talk about it. About anything. He didn't want to analyze, dissect and piece together the situation because if he did, he was afraid they would be worse off and cause them all to lose hope. He couldn't lose hope. He had to have it in order to believe that his brother will get better. It was what kept Stefan in check from going out into town and ripping everyone's throats out drinking their blood. He needed it to keep control.

"No, thank you." Stefan said instead of explaining all the reasons he did not want to talk about it.

Once again silence descended between them. It wasn't uncomfortable as it should have been, but it was actually comforting as Stefan closed his eyes and just listened to the steady rhythm of Jeremy's heartbeat. Usually the sound would send him in a frantic spiral in his current frame of mind, but with the lessons and help from Damon over the past year in controlling the bloodlust, Stefan felt it more calming and soothing then destructive.

"Why Gettysburg?" Jeremy asked, once again breaking Stefan's thoughts. He opened his eyes with furrowed brows curiously at the human, questioning. "Why did you think he was in Gettysburg? Why was he here?"

Stefan inhaled and held the air in his lungs, something he didn't do often as he didn't need to breathe any longer, but the act of doing it was always comforting, allowed him to think more internally as he let the air out slowly and do it again a few times. It was a question that neither Jeremy nor Caroline had asked when told. They just accepted it and followed along. Stefan didn't think it was strange, only that they were distraught at being kicked out of Mystic Falls and therefore distracted, but apparently he was wrong.

"Elena found the pattern and made the connection." Stefan told him.

Jeremy smirked and blinked slowly a few times nodding his head. "She is a smart one, that sister of mine." He commented, and Stefan couldn't disagree. She was very smart, very intelligent, but she didn't have a very good grasp on personal safety or using her mind for better outcomes. She would just jump in and act first to protect her loved ones. It was something that she had in common with Damon.

"Did you know Damon was in the Confederate Army?" Stefan started, watching Jeremy's expression. It was something he liked to do, to see people's reactions to someone being on what is as perceived as the wrong side, especially in the current day's obsession with being PC. But there was no judgement in Jeremy's eyes, just his whole attention as he waited for Stefan to speak again.

"He was in it for about two years. He joined on order of our father, Giuseppe saying it was his duty to the south and uphold the family name." He said. "Damon hated it."

"Damon doesn't seem like the kind of guy to do what he's told if he didn't want to." Jeremy commented.

"Well, human Damon was different and this was our father. Damon was brash and impulsive as he is now, but there was always a kindness and sincerity about him." Stefan said, memories of his brother flashing before his eyes. Stefan gave a slight laugh before talking again. "Damon was a very difficult out spoken person but he wasn't like that just for the sake of being difficult. He saw the world for what it was and he wouldn't, or couldn't let it swindle him. It aggravated our father. So much."

"Still sounds like the Damon we all know and well….maybe not all of us love." Jeremy laughed. Stefan joined in for a second, enjoying the feeling and enjoying the moment shared with Jeremy. He had never given the human much thought other than he had to protect him to save Elena but now he was getting a glimpse of who Jeremy was on his own.

"Trust me it's different. In any case he never believed in what the south was fighting for."

"Slavery?"

"That was just a small part of the civil war but yes, Damon was against it. So was I. We had made a secret promise that whoever inherited Veritas would free the slaves." Stefan remembered fondly. "But it was also about how the southern states didn't like a northern president restricting what they can or can't do. Lincoln didn't try to abolish slavery for the states that already had it, but he wanted to prevent new territories from allowing it."

"The South revolted then right? Starting the Civil War? All because they wanted to enslave people?" Jeremy asked, fully into the story now.

"It wasn't just to enslave people but they felt their way of life was threatened. It was the first thing to be changed and the South feared what else would change. They feared it would prevent Southern expansion." He explained further but waived his hand dismissingly. "But that really doesn't matter now. What matters is Damon never believed in any of that. He was all for industrialization and relying less on slave work. He didn't care about expansion.

He was trapped in a war for nearly two years he didn't believe in and he saw such horrors. When he wrote letters, he always tried to leave out the truth of what was going on but I knew my brother and I read between the lines of his words the horror he was living through. Near the end, before he came home the letters were less like letters and more like lists of names of people who had died. They didn't make much sense and his words writing had diminished severely, they were barely legible."

Stefan stopped then, swallowing hard at the memories. He wondered where the letters were now. He had kept them all for years, holding them close, trying to convince himself that the madness and bloodlust his brother had acted on once they turned was a result of the trauma he had experienced in the army, because when he came home he wasn't the same as when he left.

"Post-traumatic stress disorder?" Jeremy offered helpfully, his face sympathetic.

"I suppose that's what it was. I don't know." Stefan confessed looking down at the ground. "There wasn't such a diagnoses at the time. In any case when he returned it was after the Gettysburg battle. We had no word of Damon for weeks. Then suddenly he came home."

Jeremy's eyes widened and his mouth gaped a few times in understanding. "Damon fought in the Battle of Gettysburg." He stated, but Stefan shook his head. His brother might have been dead if he had but he was sure that if he had survived he would have at least been able to live with himself.

"Just the opposite. They day before Damon had had enough and he deserted." Stefan told him. Jeremy narrowed his brow.

"Damon left? That doesn't sound like something he would do."

"Again, he was different as a human than now." Stefan repeated feeling frustrated. It always frustrated him how humans never seemed to be able to understand or believe that they vampires they know were entirely different people once upon a time. His brother as a human as so far removed from Damon the vampire it physically pained Stefan sometimes to remember it himself.

"I'm sorry." Jeremy said genuinely, and Stefan believed him, and felt slightly contrite for how he spoken to him. But Jeremy didn't seem to hold any resentment so Stefan let it pass.

"It's fine." He swallowed. "Anyways, Damon told Elena it was the first place he should have died."

Stefan blinked a few times to stop the tears that tried to come out when he thought of that. Thought of how close he was to losing his brother. He had been too relieved at the site of Damon coming up the long drive to think anything of it, never connected anything. He always presumed like everyone else in Mystic Falls that it was the battle that had caused him to desert the army and therefore they never looked down upon him.

"His entire regiment was slaughtered on the battlefield, and Damon escaped. I knew that it had hit him hard but I didn't know until Elena told me about him leaving the day before. For the briefest second I felt shame but then I felt nothing but relief. Damon had come close to death so many times in our long lives, usually because of his own fault, but if he had died in that battle…" Stefan stopped, no other words could come out as he tried to control the emotions running through him.

"I get it. I do." Jeremy said kindly. "I can't imagine it but I get it. The whole war, the worry. The number of people who died. But why didn't he ever tell you?"

Stefan thought about it, and there were many answers he could give and there were none in equal amounts. "We were really close as humans. Damon was my big brother, he was my world." Stefan said. "I think out of everything in his existence, that was his biggest regret. That he abandoned his brothers in arms."

"So when Katherine broke up with him, he came back to the location where he originally should have died and drove himself crazy? That's kind of extreme don't you think?" Jeremy asked bewildered. "I mean my girlfriend died, came back and kicked my only family and my friends out of town and I'm still fine."

"But you're young Jeremey don't you see" Stefan said passionately sitting up from the couch to lean closer to him. "You're 17 years old. Ignoring the heightened emotions of a vampire, Damon is 175 years old, and he loves completely and with everything he has. And no matter how strong someone is, there is always a limit until they crash. Damon's was the breakup."

"I still Do-"

"Got it! Hey! I GOT IT!" Caroline's voice echoed around the house. The both of them turned towards the door as the sound of feet hitting stairs sounded as Caroline ran towards them in human speed, took excited to remember she was a vampire. "I got it!" She said again seeing the two of them.

"What? What do you got?" Jeremy asked shaking his head with a smile.

Caroline stood next to Stefan and practically flung a piece of paper into his face, waiving it slightly so he was unable to read it. "Klaus called me back. Oh! He says Hi by the way Stefan and I explained the situation in little detail…" She added seeing Stefan blanch. "And he gave me the name and number of a witch nearby."

With that she handed Stefan the paper and he looked at the address. "Judith Newberry, Albany New York." He read. "I'm sure there are closer witches." He said incredulously, as Caroline nodded enthusiastically.

"Oh, there are, many in fact, but this is the one he recommended." She said. "He pushed for more details but he said that whatever my vague problem is it sounds big and Judith, never Judy, would be our best bet."

"Do you think he's lying?" Jeremy asked gravely looking back and forth between the two vampires.

"No." Stefan said firmly. "Despite what issues we've all had together he wouldn't do anything to put Caroline in harm's way. "

"Or you Stefan." She added. "He's still hoping you'll remember your friendship someday. He misses you."

"Regardless," Stefan said ignoring her words. "I trust it." The three stayed in silent for a few moments before Caroline clapped her hands together loudly gaining their attention.

"Alright! Time for a trip. I'll go pack."

Damon stared out the glass of the door at Elena, meeting her eyes steadily, unblinking. He didn't want her there, didn't want her near him. Just looking at her caused his heart to ache and relive the memory of her breaking away from their relationship over and over again.

He wasn't sure exactly where he was, or how he got there. It really didn't matter to him either way. The holes in his memory should alarm him, and his obvious imprisonments should as well, but all he felt was calm. A calm despair that ran through his entire body, numbing him from any feeling at all.

Elena shifted on the other side of the glass, finally blinking and breaking the staring contest that had been going on. Damon was relieved as he closed his eyes tightly and tilted his head back into the corner, feeling a sharp pain as he hit it harder than he intended.

It felt good, the pain. Kept him grounded in the here in now that he so desperately escaped from as frequently as possible now. He hated the pain she had caused him, hated that he let himself become so vulnerable with her, let her so close to him, yet he couldn't keep his eyes off her. As long as she stayed on the other side of the glass, Damon could stare at her forever.

Forever…exactly what he had thought he would have with her.

The ache in his heart throbbed and his eyes shot opened, immediately finding her again. He saw her shift slightly as she worried her bottom lip with her teeth. She looked so sad and a huge part of him wanted to reach out for her and hold her until she smiled again, an impossible task since he apparently had been placed in the room he was in.

Waking up that first morning he was in there had put him off balance. He hadn't recognized his surroundings and he was alone. The lights were low and soft, soothing in a way. The sparse furniture was nice, nicer than any cell he'd ever been in before. There was even a private bathroom, albeit small, but there it was nonetheless. The floor was carpeted, there were clothes in the drawers of the dresser, and there was even a framed picture of him with Elena.

He immediately smashed that to bits. Damon didn't want to look at the happy smiling faces behind the frame. He didn't want a reminder in his tiny prison that he had had heaven and everything he ever wanted in his grasp, only to be torn away so viciously.

When a door opposite his own was opened and footsteps could be heard, Damon had immediately shrunk back into the corner in which he had found himself in, binding himself close, trying to disappear into the shadows while he waited for his capturer to come.

The last memory of that first day awake was seeing Stefan and Elena peer into his cell with saddened expressions, then everything went black again.

It had happened multiple times over the course of his time there. He wasn't even sure how long he had been where he was. It was always the same, every time. He would wake alone, looking around blearily, taking stock of everything in the room to see if anything had changed. And then he would wait. Wait for what he was never sure of but eventually Elena or Stefan, or both came down and he would stare at them until his chest hurt too much and the breath he didn't really need felt stale and painful. Then the darkness would come and he knew nothing more until he awoke.

Hearing footsteps descending the stairs that lie beyond Damon bunched his limbs closer to his body. He knew it had to be Stefan, it could only be Stefan, nobody else came down, but even the sight of his brother caused him pain, and he felt he had to brace himself.

As expected Stefan stepped into view and Damon lowered his eyes to the soft grey blanket below him. He didn't want to see his brother, didn't want his mind to bring forth all the pain that the two of them had inflicted upon each other over the years. He had loved his brother once, cherished him as they were human. He still loved him now but would never admit it.

Damon closed his eyes again as the voices came through the glass, muffled and he could barely hear. He was pale and thin but he wasn't desiccated so he supposed they fed him during the times he was with the darkness, but he figured by how weak his vampire gifts were they probably kept him on animal blood.

They were right to do so.

He continued to stare at the blanket until the voices begun to raise in anger, causing Damon to startle slightly. He glanced toward the window, seeing the angry expression on Stefan's face, unable to see Elena's as her back was turned towards him. He wished that he could hear what they were saying and hoped it wasn't about him.

But then Stefan took a step forward and Elena stepped back, her back hitting the door that separated Damon from them hard, causing Damon to jump slightly and hide his face in his knees. He didn't know why he was so frightened, or what he was frightened of. He was weak from lack of human blood so he knew he wouldn't be able to take them if they came from him. Once upon a time he would believe without question that Elena would protect him if needed, but since she broke his heart that time had passed and now Damon was sure he was more afraid of her than of him.

The voices came in waves, high and low, and Damon wished for the darkness. The stress of it all, the pain and ache he felt at seeing and hearing the two people he had once loved more than anything, it was becoming too much for him and he didn't want to deal. He didn't want to handle this, he didn't want to confront this, and he didn't want anything to do with them. He wanted to run, to escape, to be anywhere but near them. He was always the strong one, always, but Damon just couldn't handle anything anymore. He wanted the darkness, he wanted out.

By the time the last lock was unlatched and the door was pushed open, the darkness had taken him.

A/N: Again please RR.


	11. Chapter 11

Geez, Finally a new effing chapter. Thank you ALL who reviewed, all 6 of you!

 **scarlett2112, megabill, cotychan, charahkids, She Made Him Good,**

Chapter 11

It didn't take them that long to get to Albany. Stefan didn't like that he had left Elena at the mansion alone with only Jeremy to help with Damon, but he didn't really have a choice. Stefan had to go and talk to the witch. Though he trusted Caroline, he really didn't trust Klaus, and he wanted to be there to ask his questions and hear the answers for himself. There was no room to let anything slip and fall away due to miscommunications once it was all relayed to him.

It was with that thought in mind that he reluctantly left, though he preferred to stay. He didn't have a choice but to leave Elena alone with him. Damon still needed care. While Stefan had hoped the trip would just be over night, maybe two nights if really needed, he couldn't leave Damon with nobody there to care for him, and while a vampire could live a while without needing to feed, though it was painful, with Damon on animal blood, and not enough to stop the thirst, there was no way he would handle the starvation for a day or two. So he had left his brother in Elena's care.

"I think we're almost there." Caroline said as she glanced at the GPS that was on the dashboard of her car.

Stefan blinked a few times, taking in his surroundings, noticing that they had entered some kind of suburban area. It looked like any other area in America, which shouldn't have really surprised him much. Unlike vampires, witches blended well into their communities, but somehow her association with Klaus made him imagine a dark area shrouded with mystery. Not the two story all American house they pulled up to a few minutes later.

They pulled up along the street and Caroline turned off the car, looking out the window at the house next to them. "Totally not what I thought." She mumbled unbuckling her seat belt.

"What were you expecting?"

Caroline shrugged her shoulders and grabbed her keys. "Spikes with heads in the front yard warning people off?" She said seriously. "It is Klaus after all."

With that she opened the door and got out of her car with Stefan following a moment later silently agreeing with her. He watched warily, eyes moving everywhere, taking in their surroundings and looking out for danger. He half expected Klaus himself to come out and jump on top of them, though even Stefan knew that was unlikely as Klaus would figure that Caroline would be with him.

With one final sweep of the area they passed through the large metal gate that surrounded the house, a chill coursed through Stefan's body as he did so. There was no doubt in his mind that the woman they were about to meet was a very powerful witch and Stefan just hoped that she would be somewhat friendly to them and not try to kill them.

Stefan approached the door first with Caroline trailing only a few feet behind him. Raising his arm he balled his fist and was about to rap on the door when it opened suddenly as if on its own, and he eyed an elderly woman standing just out of reach. Another chill ran down him and this time he couldn't stop the shiver, feeling the hairs on his arms and neck raise and he fought the monster within him.

The woman seemed to be taking her time appraising the two vampires in front of her as the two did the same, noticing her darkened hair that was littered with grey and white strands and her blemished skin that was becoming lose with age. But her eyes were still young, still sharp despite her bodies aging and Stefan felt as if she were looking right through them to their very souls.

"Hey, are you Judith Newberry?" Caroline asked wish a slight shove at Stefan to the side, apparently she didn't feel the same thing as he did.

The woman in front of them quirked a brow and cocked her head slightly at Caroline, staring at her for a few moments before a small half smile appeared on her face in amusement.

"You must be Caroline. Klaus had told me to expect you." She stated. "He mentioned you were, what did he use…perky."

Caroline looked down at the ground for a moment and Stefan couldn't help his smirk at seeing her blush at the woman's words. Perky was one way to describe Caroline, thought there were better adjectives that Stefan himself preferred to use that he wouldn't be sharing. The vampire in question however just shrugged a moment later and put the smile back on her face.

"Well, we all have our issues." She dismissed, shifting side to side slightly. "We were wondering if you could help us."

The woman nodded as she listened and stepped aside inviting them in. Caroline bounced straight ahead but Stefan was a little more cautious. Even when people knew what they were, they were always still hesitant to invite them into their homes freely. The woman must have picked up on his hesitation as she closed the door tight behind them, bathing them in a darkened room with soft lights scattered around.

"Don't worry, Klaus vouched for you. I trust no harm will come to me or mine or there will be severe consequences." She warned with a sharp eye walking past him and leading them down the hall and into the kitchen.

The room looked normal, like any other American home which surprised Stefan though he really shouldn't have been. He only knew of a few witches in his long existence but had never really gotten close to any, always preferring to stay out of their way. Closest he'd gotten was Bonnie and based on how well that went, he was content to keep his distance.

"Klaus informed me that you had a problem that you needed a witch for." Judith started as she indicated they should sit at the table in the corner. The witch turned to the stove and set about putting water on. "He didn't say what the problem was. He didn't even know what it was but he did tell me that a very special vampire would be coming to see me and that he would appreciate if I could help in any way I can."

"Yeah, we didn't exactly want him involved." Caroline said bashfully, obviously knowing that she was the special vampire. "He has a tendency to make things a lot worse and they don't generally get better."

The witch turned around then and faced us, a brow quirked high as Caroline's apparent boldness to speak openly about the most powerful vampire in the world. For a moment Stefan braced himself, readying to speed out of the house with Caroline if she had somehow angered the witch but a moment later the witch began to laugh.

Stefan glanced at Caroline curiously, she had her own smile on her face and just shrugged one of her shoulders in return.

The witch's laughter began to subside as she turned back to the stove and went about making tea for the three of them, bringing it to the table and setting down a plate of cookies with Caroline reaching out eagerly for one.

"You are a brave one young vampire." She said sitting down across from them. "It is not many who has the gulls to say such a thing about the hybrid."

Caroline shrugged again and bit into her cookie. "It's not really gull as he's just a big fat jerk most of the time. But he can be really sweet and good when he wants to be." She replied thoughtfully.

Stefan fought the urge to growl, settling for a frown instead. He knew the connection Caroline had with Klaus and he respected it, but he didn't like it, especially with how his feelings for the young vampire had been growing over the last few months.

"It all comes down to respect my dear. Respect him and his power and don't be a simpleton who just sucks up to him or is weak and he will treat you the same way. That is, until you piss him off."

"He is a vampire after all." Caroline said sharing a little laugh with the witch.

"So tell me children, what is your issue that you decided to seek out a witch. Last I heard, there was a Bennett witch in Mystic Falls. She's young but the Bennett's are very powerful." Judith told them, sipping from her tea cup.

Stefan and Caroline shared a look, communicating on what should be told about the situation. Caroline was right that they didn't want Klaus involved, but they didn't want anyone else either. The more people who knew the more trouble there could potentially be. But if they wanted the help of the witch before them, then she would need to know the whole truth.

"Well, you see…about that…" And Caroline proceeded to tell the witch their story of Katherine, of Damon, of Bonnie's banishment of the vampires. The witch sat quietly, watching the both of them as she listened to the blondes' tale.

Once she was finished they sat in silence, each processing what was revealed, even Stefan though he of course knew it all already. Hearing it allowed his mind to process more details and hopefully come up with a solution, but sadly, nothing came to mind and he was once again at the mercy of this witch to help fix his brother.

"I know of this vampire, your brother, Damon. He is very dangerous, very deadly. To have him gone from this world would be better for all humanity." Judith stated while Stefan shook his head.

"He's my brother." He argued.

"Yes, I know, which is very unfortunate for you, for you love something so deadly. And with just the beast within it makes him even more so." She said.

"The best within? I don't understand." Caroline said, sitting up in her chair leaning towards the witch. The witch eyed the two vampires again before sitting back in her own seat and sighing,

"The beast is the monster within each vampire. It is the thing that craves death and violence. It's a magical side effect of the creation of your species. Humans, in general can't bring themselves to attack another human in order to get what they need to survive. So this creature is the counter to the vampire humanity."

"Oh my god, I've never thought of that. I've never thought of any of it." Caroline stated astonished. Stefan had though. He thought about it a lot over his existence and what the witch was saying made perfect sense to him. There was no way as a human he would have been able to do what was required to survive.

"Not many do child but it's important to understand. Vampires are common but only young ones. Most do not last more than a century. The fact Ms. Caroline that you know so many is a fluke that not many can claim. The violence and the guilt and the blood eventually gets to the vampire, piles up and most do not survive by either their own hands or by turning off their emotions, which makes them careless and easy to kill.

Most of it is dependent on who you were as a human. As you know you're emotions get heightened as well as your personality. You have to be strong as a human to survive long as a vampire. Your traits is was set what kind of vampire you will be. Some are too soft and kind and others are the complete opposite and neither make it long. It's the ones in the middle."

"What does any of this have to do with Damon?" Stefan asked, getting impatient. All they've gotten was a lesson on vampires and as interesting as it was, he needed a cure for his brother and to get back to him.

"Everything Mr. Salvatore. Your brother is a terror on the human race and to have him die would be the best solution. Your brother is smart, and passionate, a very dangerous combination. I don't pretend to know what happened to you two as humans but whatever it was, the monster within him has made him unbalanced and destructive."

Stefan stood up suddenly, walking away from the table and over to the counter opposite them. He couldn't be near the witch at the moment, he was afraid of what he would do to her. Everything she said about Damon he already knew, but he couldn't give up on him. He wouldn't give up. Despite their differences since turning, Stefan knew without a doubt that if he needed his brother then Damon would stop at nothing to help him.

He stared out the window over the sink for a few moments, watching life outside of it. Everything looked so peaceful in the witches' garden, with butterflies, and birds twittering around each other and the beautiful flowers and plants that grew there. He had longed to be part of that peace for over a century and half like he had been once more. But he knew that if he stepped out into that peaceful garden, everything would flee and it would deadly silent as every living creature felt a deadly predator enter their midst.

"If you won't help us, I'll find someone who can then." Stefan said softly before turning around to face the two women still sitting at the table. "I understand and I can appreciate what you are saying, but he's my brother." Stefan closed his eyes for a moment, swallowing hard before opening them again to stare at the witch, meeting her steely gaze. "I lost him when I forced him to turn. And trust me when I say I'm well aware of just how unstable my brother is."

"Stefan…"

"Let me finish Caroline." He stated firmly, walking back over to the witch and sitting down in the chair next to her, leaning close enough so she felt him but far enough away that she wouldn't feel threatened. "As a human, my brother only wanted two things in life. To be loved, and for me to be happy." He said glancing at Caroline for a second with a small smile. "He's on the brink of getting that. He has a girl, who is absolutely in love with him, who wants to spend eternity loving him, and will do anything for him."

"The doppelganger." The witch added, nodding her head knowingly.

"Yes, Elena. And he being happy and whole and back in my life would make me the second happiest vampire that ever existed. So please, if you can help…"

He kept the contact with the witches' eyes, trying to convey every feeling and emotion he could through his gaze, begging her to help him. He wasn't even sure what to do if the witch turned them away right now. How would they be able to face Elena when they tell her they failed at getting the witches assistance?

After several minutes the witch blinked and turned her head to gaze at Caroline, breaking the contact with Stefan, and with a wary sigh she stood up from her chair and walked out of the room. Stefan stared after her for a moment before dropping his face into his hands despondently. He didn't know what to do next. He didn't want to leave there without some kind of clue on what to do next.

"It'll be ok Stefan." Caroline said softly. He heard her chair scoot out from under her as she walked around the table and took the witches chair in front of him and ran her fingers gently through his hair. Stefan took a deep breath as his nerves tingled at the sensation, glad he had her with him.

The moment was broken however when a soft plop landed on the table next to him, and he sat up again and stared at it. It was a Ziploc bag and inside it was filled the brink with a mixture of herbs. He put his hand on it, picking it up before looking up at the witch as she leaned against the doorframe to the hallway.

"When the world finally beats down a human they start to disappear. They become depressed, stop living, and stop caring. Sometimes they even go away, in their own minds away from where anything else can harm them. It's self-preservation. That's what happened to your brother." She explained. "The only difference is, is that he's a vampire. He has 175 years' worth of pain and grief causing his heart to shatter."

"But he's there, I know he is. He's spoke to me when we found him. He was broken but it was Damon. Now…"

"What you see now is the monster, the beast within. With Damon inside himself that leaves the beast free and in complete control of him. It is strong, it is what holds your brother's powers and it will protect itself and Damon with everything it has." She explained. "Steep those herbs in hot water and have a human drink it before allowing the beast to feed on them. The tea will put the beast to sleep quickly after a few gulps so there is little danger but be careful." She warned. "With the beast asleep his defenses are down and you should be able to slip into his mind and find the shards of his heart."

With that she turned away from them heading towards the front door. With a quick glance at each other, Caroline and Stefan followed suit, blinking in the sudden light of the sun as the door was pulled open. Stepping out onto the porch Stefan stopped and turned back to the witch, giving a small sad smile of thanks.

"What do we owe you?" he asked her gratefully. But she just waved him off with a smile of her own.

"Don't worry about it. My debt to Klaus is now paid off. Good luck Mr. Salvatore." And with that she closed the door, leaving the vampires alone in the afternoon sun.

***(((****(((***'

Elena sat back against the wall on the bed, tilting her head from side to side enjoying the pops as her neck realigned from its previous position. She was hungry and bored and there was really nothing she could do about either until Stefan came back.

She looked to the right, glancing at Damon again for the millionth time since she'd been stuck in the cell with him. She let out a slight sigh of dismay that he hadn't really paid any attention to her in hours, only sat crouched on the floor in that corner that had taken her days to get him out of as he watched the door for any sign of Jeremey to come back.

It had been a disaster from the beginning. Stefan and been with her when she fed him the previous morning. Damon had been as he had been for weeks; hunched on the bed in the corner, knees tightly to his chest, watching both of them with eyes of a hawk. Stefan had followed her in for the first time ever, wanting to say goodbye to his brother and reassure him that he would be back the following day.

She didn't think Damon heard or cared.

The second Stefan stepped into the room once Elena was sitting on the edge of the bed, ready to put down the cup of animal blood, he growled. Not softly as a warning but loud with a hiss as he held himself tight as if ready to attack. Stefan had stopped in his spot, right in front of the closed door and opened his mouth to say something, only for the hissing and growling to get louder and Damon pulled himself up on his hunches to pounce.

Stefan took the hint and left quickly.

Stefan had warned Elena to be very cautious when going to feed Damon, and he had hesitated in leaving her alone with a deranged vampire and a human brother. But the need to save his brother outweighed the worry of leaving them alone and he had followed Caroline out.

When Elena went down that evening to feed him, Jeremy trailing behind her to lock her in, she didn't think anything of it. Both Stefan and Caroline had been downstairs, standing at the window of the cell door and as long as they didn't try to enter the room, Damon was still and silent. She didn't think anything of having Jeremy there with her.

That was her big mistake and something she have learned a long time ago when she first learned about vampires being real. Never be complacent with a vampire. No matter who they were, or if you were one yourself. What happened as she entered the cell could have been much worse if she hadn't reacted quickly enough, and if Jeremy had been just a second slower.

Damon had been in the same spot he always had been for weeks, only looking up when he sensed her at the cell door. She stood there watching him for a moment before unhooking the many locks and slowly opening the door to enter. Everything after that moved too quickly for her to fully remember. One second she was stepping in, placing the cup on a nearby table, the next a loud hiss was sounded and Damon launched himself pasted her to the door that was luckily slammed shut a half second sooner with Jeremy shouting on the other side to hold him back so that he can lock the door.

She jumped into action, grabbing Damon around the waist as she pulled him back from the door giving Jeremy time to start locking it. Damon fought her hard, and though weakened severely from the limited animal blood they'd given him, he still had over a century and a half on her making him the stronger of the two.

As soon as she heard the last lock click into place she released her tenuous hold on the man that she loved and he went flying to the locked door, pounding on it, growling, fighting as hard as he could throwing himself at it trying to get to her brother.

"Jer just go!" She shouted over the loud noises.

"I can't leave you in there!" He shouted back obviously dismayed.

Elena shook her head and flapped her hands in motion towards the stairs behind him. "I'll be fine, just go, please." She begged him and with one final frown he did.

Once he was out of site, Damon spent the next hour or so pacing back and forth in front of the door, waiting for brother to come back, but luckily he didn't. Finally Damon seemed to realize this too and retreated back to his original corner, leaving the bed to Elena as he crouched onto the ground, keep his eyes where they were.

She knew that she was going to be stuck in the room with him all night, so she waited until all sounds from him stopped before getting up to bathroom, wetting a washcloth to clean the blood from the glass window. She moved slowly around the room doing her task for if she made a sudden move, a sound of warning came from deep in Damon's chest. It had taken a while for her to get close enough to him to clean the blood off his own hands and arms, and from the side of his face from where his skin had split as he fought to get to Jeremy.

Once those tasks were done all she could do was wait for Stefan to come back, and she hoped it would be soon. She was so tired and she was too afraid to sleep in the room alone with Damon, something that caused her heart to ache and tears fall from her eyes a few times before she gasped and broke down to full blown sobs.

She didn't know how long she had sat on that spot, crying, crying for her, crying for Damon, crying for her friends and everything else. She felt herself grow tired and weary, but she knew she couldn't fall asleep, so she lifted her head from the pillow she had buried it in and gasped in shock at she came face to face with Damon, who kneeled on the floor by the bed with his head cocked to the side.

Not wanting to startle him, she stayed in her position, leaning up on her left elbow, watching him wearily. She gazed into his eyes, expecting to see him, to see her Damon and she thought she did for a few seconds before it dulled and it was just the vacant yet pierced eyes of a stranger.

He watched her carefully, brows furrowing as he reached his hand out towards her, swiping his fingers softly from her eyes down her cheek following the trail of tears. Elena had closed her eyes at the feeling as goosebumps spread across her body from the soft gesture before opening them again as he brought his hand to his face and sniffled the moist tears that were on them. They stared at each other for several beats until he cocked his head once more, giving a few grunts before quickly scattering back to the corner he had come from.

That had been hours ago, and here they sat now, silent in the own corners waiting. She waiting for Stefan and Damon waiting for Jeremy.

"I wish I knew what was going on in your head." Elena said softly, breaking the silence. "You were always hard to read, but when you told me, it never ceased to fascinate me."

Damon didn't even look in her direction as she spoke, and her heart ached, desperately wanting to see the smirk he would have given her before.

"I know you're in there Damon, you're just lost." She told him. "But don't worry, I'll find you. No matter how long it takes I'll find where you are and I'll bring you back. Then we can have our eternity together." She sniffed as the emotions began to well up inside her again, but no tears fell this time as Damon stood sat up straighter, indicating someone was coming.

She scooted to the edge of the bed, preparing to leap up and stop him if it was Jer, but to her relief it wasn't. It was Stefan and he had a smile on his face.

For the first time in a weeks, Elena felt some hope.

A/N: I must admit this is the longest I've ever not posted a new chapter on a current story. Sorry. I'd say I'll get back on the wagon but I have vaca starting the 9th and who the hell wants to work on their vacation? Next chapter most likely end of July.


	12. Chapter 12

A/N: thank you so much for all the reviews I've gotten. I'm normally really quick to update stories but I just went on a 2 month depression binge that resulted in possible suicide. but I'm betterish and I'm back to writing! Cheers!

Chapter 12

"Shards of his heart? What does that even mean?' Elena asked confused. She had listened patiently to what Stefan and Caroline said about their trip, their conversation with the witch with her undead heart beating faster and faster at the prospect of saving the one she loved. It wasn't much to go on but Elena was willing to grasp onto anything that could possibly lead to a cure for Damon.

She watched as Stefan shrugged and paced over to the bookshelf nearby with his arms folded tightly over his chest. She could tell from the lines on his forehead that his mind was wheeling all over the place as he most likely internally debated on whether the witch was lying or not. "That I don't know. We were lucky to get what we could out of the witch."

"Maybe I can call Klaus again for another witch." Caroline suggested. "We know what we need to do now, we just, well, need a few more details."

"No, I don't want him any more involved than he already is. If we ask him for help again he may decide to come visit." Stefan protested adamantly.

Elena agreed with both of them. Another witch would be a good option to get more details. She wasn't entirely keen on the idea of supposedly drugging Damon then invading his mind. But Stefan was right, they couldn't risk it. Asking again would peak the original's interest and interference from him could be costly, not just to Damon, but to all of them. Elena trusted Stefan's judgement on this being as he'd been in the vampires' debt before. Damon wouldn't want them all to be slaves for him.

"Then I guess we follow the witch's directions and hope there's some kind of sign to point us where to go." Elena sighed tiredly. She was exhausted, not having slept yet, but this was more important.

The group sat silent for a few beats as everything began to sink in. Elena couldn't help the elation she felt inside at the prospect that the whole ordeal could soon be over. That she'd finally get her Damon back, and when she did, there was nothing she wasn't going to do to ensure that no matter what happens in the future, he will know that she loves him, and always will.

"We should start as soon as possible." Elena said sitting up straighter, taking control.

"Agreed." Stefan replied, coming back to the sofa in front of her and sitting down next to Caroline. "We should start in the morning."

"What? Why not now?' She protested annoyed. She resisted the urge to roll her eyes as Stefan once again sighed tiredly at her. It was something he had always down even when they were dating and it annoyed her to no end.

"Because I've barely slept the past few days Elena, and if I'm going inside Damon's mind I need to be at full strength." He told her, hunched over, arms leaning on his thighs.

Elena opened and closed her mouth a few times, but no words she was trying to form came out the way she wanted. It was obvious by his stature that he wasn't at full strength, that he was tired and wary. She couldn't really argue that point. Instead she narrowed her eyes angrily. "Who says you should be the one to go in? I'm the love of his life, I should be the one to do it."

"Oh yes, because seeing you, the exact duplicate of Katherine, who not only used him and broke his heart, but also acted as you to do it again is a great idea." Stefan said exasperated. "If anything he'll go deeper in his mind and we'll never get him. I'll do. I'm his brother."

"I'm his girlfriend. I love him Stefan." She shouted, sitting on the edge of her seat. She could feel the veins protrude from under her eyes as her fangs began to descend as she lost control of her temper. There was no way she would do any damage to him, he was far older than she but that didn't mean she wouldn't try.

"I know you do Elena but so do I." He shouted back.

"No you don't!" She yelled, effectively making him quiet. Elena watched his features go from angry and annoyed to hurt and incredulous. She knew she had probably gone too far but she refused to back down, keeping her jaw tense and her gaze hard.

"GUYS STOP!" Caroline stood in between them, blocking their view of each other. "This isn't helping Damon. Remember this is about him, not about who loves him the most."

"How can you say that? To ME Elena?" Stefan asked. "We may fight and disagree on a lot of things but I have always loved my brother. No matter where we were in our relationship."

Silence descended after that. Elena lowered her eyes to the table unable to keep his gaze any longer. He was right, how could she say that to him. No matter what Damon had done or had been doing Stefan always tried to be understanding, to stop his brother from doing anything too stupid. He failed more often than he succeeded but the point was he tried. It was something Elena had always admired about Stefan. It was a part of why she had loved him so long ago.

"Why can't you both go?" Jeremy's quiet voice finally broke through. The three vampires turned around to look at him noticing his presence for the first time as he stood in the doorway to the library. "It might be better."

"How?" Stefan asked him. Elena raised her hand out to her brother, inviting him into the room further. He did so hesitantly, obviously knowing that three high strung vampires, even if they were his friends, could be dangerous. A small smile curved up on the side of her mouth that he was finally learning to not fully trust anybody, even his friends. Even his sister. She hoped it was a skill he'd develop further so he would survive this world if he insisted on staying in it.

"Damon loves you Stefan. You're his brother. I've seen it. No matter what is going on he always did what he could for you. But if he's in as much pain as the witch said he is, he could very well just tell you goodbye and stop fighting."

"No, no he wouldn't do that." Elena disagreed, ripping her hand from his and shaking her head vehemently. She looked over at Stefan, hoping he'd at least agree with her on this but to her dismay, she only saw affirmation. "Stefan!"

She eyed him warily as Stefan raised his eyes to lock on hers and she knew that he agreed with Jeremy, that her brothers' words didn't even come as a surprise to him as it did for her, and apparently Caroline if her dropped jaw was any indication. Obviously Stefan had already thought of this prospect.

"He wouldn't do that Stefan. He wouldn't leave us." She stated steadily.

"Elena." He started, but paused at her firm expression. She saw him hesitated and she hoped he wouldn't say whatever it is he was going to. "If he believed you didn't love him, I believe he would end it."

"No-"

"I think the only reason he is still here is because of the beast that is currently in control."

Caroline reached over to Stefan and grasped his larger hand in her own, giving it a gentle squeeze. It was a touching moment and Elena felt sick at the sight of it. Not because it was Stefan and Caroline; she loved them both and wanted them to finally get together and be happy, but because it was something she hasn't been able to do with Damon. Not for a long time. And it was looking like she may not get the chance in the future.

"I don't think that's the only reason Stefan." Caroline said softly causing Elena to see start seeing red. 'I don't think Damon would leave without at least giving a proper goodbye to you Stefan. You're his brother."

"And me? He'd just leave me?" Elena asked darkly, hating the look of sympathy Caroline turned on her. Caroline's capacity for love and compassion was one of the qualities Elena loved best about her friend. But right now she just wanted to shove her friend's sympathy along with her face into the brick wall of the fireplace.

"Of course not Elena. But he thinks you broke his heart. But Stefan is his brother. Good or bad, they've always had each other. I don't think he would just pass on without at least saying goodbye to him."

"He never wanted to live Elena. Once Katherine was dead he wanted it to end. I forced him to become a vampire." Stefan told her, but she shook her head. She knew the story already, she didn't need a retelling.

"Stop. Just, fine we'll both go in." Elena said frustrated while standing up, not wanting to hear anymore. She couldn't bear the thought of Damon being gone forever, and not wanting to see her. Her heart ached as she closed her eyes tightly, forcing her thoughts away from the bad images that flashed through her mind. She wouldn't live an eternity without him.

"Alright." Stefan conceded. "We can get a human fr-"

"I'll do it." Jeremy interrupted and Elena turned around quickly.

"Absolutely not!" She shouted outraged. Jeremy rolled his eyes at her before turning his eyes away from her to face Stefan and Caroline.

"There's no point bringing in another human. The witch said the herbs will work quickly I won't be in any danger." He said.

"Do you really think we're going to risk that Jer? Some word from a witch who told Stefan the world would be better off with Damon gone." Elena argued coming to stand in front of her brother.

"She would have said that if it was Stefan too. He's just as dangerous and has just as bloody a past as Damon." He stated calmly. "Witches hate vampires but I doubt she'd put a human in danger just to spite them."

Elena wasn't so sure. Witches were for the most part on the side of nature and believed vampires to be an abomination against it. But being friends with Bonnie after she learned about her powers, she wasn't so sure what they would do. Yes they were for human life, but like vampires and werewolves, Elena believed that witches wouldn't care about a little collateral damage if it rid the world of what they thought was impure.

She thought about it for a moment longer though and knew that her brother was right. There was no point to bring in another human, and who were they to possibly end an innocent personals life? But she didn't want to risk him. She couldn't risk him. He was her last connection to the human world, to her humanity and if he died and she lost Damon…She didn't even want to finish that thought.

"Fine. But the second even a hint of danger appears we're pulling you away ok? You are not to risk your life." She said sternly.

With that and a few more details planned it was determined that everyone should get a goodnights sleep and they'd begin in the morning.

***(((***(((****

Elena sat on her bed with her legs crossed and the box sitting right in front of her. She had been staring at it for over an hour. Just staring at it, imagining what could possibly be contained inside. While the curiosity basically killed her she didn't even have to fight the urge to open it. The feeling wasn't there. There was no doubt in her mind that someday Damon would show her what was in it, and her undead heart beat for that day.

Thoughts of Damon filled her mind and every sense in her body. Tomorrow will be the day that both she and Stefan will enter into his mind. She was both scared to death and exhilarated to do so. Damon was the love of her life and she knew he really had a heart of gold. He was very intelligent and insightful and part of her couldn't wait to dive into his mind and see what is ticking inside.

On the other hand she was scared. Scared of what she'll see, scared of what she'll learn. Both Damon and Stefan had not made it a secret how bloody their histories are. All the ruin and carnage and horror they had brought to the people around them through their existence was staggering. In Damon's own words she was dating a reformed serial killer, something she always knew secretly bothered him.

He had never wanted his past to tarnish her and she loved him for it, but it was impossible to shield her from any of it especially now that she was a vampire herself. She now felt the bloodlust, the urge to kill, the monster within that seemed to try and succeeded more often than not to control her.

Elena didn't know the human Damon, but she knew without a doubt, just by knowing his heart, that he would never have killed or hurt anyone on purpose without that monster inside. It changes you, forces you to do things you wouldn't have ever done before. It was really no wonder why a vampire would shut off their humanity when they could. The horror of knowing and seeing what you had done is too much for a human psyche, and yes she still felt she was human. She may be undead but she still felt she was of the human population. She still bled when cut, cried the same tears, she looked the exact same as any of them. The horrifying acts that the monster forces upon the person within was evil and broke the person inside, causing them to go insane in some way, breaks down and away what human reason the person had left after dying. It was something she fought with daily and now understood both Damon and Stefan.

Regardless though the thing she felt most afraid of for the next day wasn't learning about his past or his true thoughts and feelings. It was learning that it was possibly too late and Damon was gone, leaving only the vampire behind in his husk of a body to control his actions. She wasn't sure what to do in that case. The most humane thing to do would be to end his life to allow what remained of Damon, his body, to finally rest in peace and pray to whatever deity is out there that his soul had found the same peace.

She didn't want that, and would fight against it.

However Stefan was a different factor. Whatever Elena does or doesn't want ultimately the choice is up to Stefan. He is Damon's only remaining relative. He is Damon's brother. It was only right that the final decision be Stefan's and as much as she would hate the decision and fight against it, she knew deep in her heart that he would only choose what he felt was right for Damon, and that Elena at least respected.

The only thing was, she didn't know if she'd be able to survive if Stefan chose to kill Damon. She had already died multiple times. She was supposed to be dead. Instead of what lay beyond she had gotten an eternity of life, and was lucky enough to find her soulmate, or what she felt was her soulmate. Elena wasn't sure how long she would last, or even if she wanted to continue living if Damon wasn't alive any longer.

The sound of a door shutting down the hall broke Elena out of her morose thoughts and she blinked away the few tears that escaped her eyes. Looking down at the box again she bit her bottom lip as she lifted it up reverently and brought it to her chest holding it tightly to her. It was Damon's most precious possession and she would protect it with her life until he could come back and claim it once more.

With a final deep breath she moved the box under the pillow beside her like she had done every single night since the night she woke up after being released from Katherine. Making sure it was fully covered by the soft pile of feathers, she laid down on her own pillow on her side, facing where Damon's form should be next to her, smiling at her as they both lazily drifted off to a peaceful sleep together.

But the spot was empty, and Elena's heart ached as she buried her face into the soft pillow and let the tears fall freely.

****((*****(((********

Light blared suddenly in his sight as he came too, as if someone had suddenly turned on the lights above him. He looked around the room blearily for a second before his eyesight readjusted and he could see everything around him.

He was still in the cell.

He cocked his head to the side slowly, listening for anybody nearby but he seemed to be alone. The darkness in the other room as well as the lights softened in his cell told him it was probably night time and the occupants of the house were asleep.

His first instinct was to find a way to escape. To get out of the cell and find freedom. Though his body was hungry he didn't feel starved, so he knew he was being fed. More so then the last time he was imprisoned. But he felt weakened and was sure that he didn't have the strength to even attempt any form of escape.

He wasn't even sure if he was supposed to.

The smell of Elena was all over the room. He didn't know why it was so powerful but it was driving him crazy. He didn't understand why the woman he loved, who broke his heart and destroyed the last pieces of him so utterly would torment him so. Elena was always the one with heart, with the most humanity. Why didn't she realize that her presence was doing nothing but hurting him?

What's more is she was with his brother. Not romantically he knew. Stefan and proclaimed and vowed or whatever to him that he was over Elena. That yes he still loved her greatly but he wasn't in love with her. The past was in the past and Stefan had no desire to repeat it again, and he didn't want anything like what happened with Katherine to come between them ever again. They were brothers, and that was more important to Stefan then any possible love.

"Bro's before hoes!" Damon had crassly stated raising his glass of bourbon up on the air in cheers. Stefan had given him a disappointed look before a small smile crossed his face. Damon had taken that as a victory.

He let his body relax against the bed, willing his mind to be blank of any thoughts but not stopping it from wondering. He wondered how much time had passed and where he was. He wondered what the plan was for him.

Then he heard the steady beat of a heart before hearing footsteps hit the top of the stairs startling him into an alert position. Curious he pushed himself away from the bed and into the dark corner crouching in the darkness as much as was possible, hiding himself in the shadows as whoever it was that was coming for him approached.

His mind flashed back to his entrapment at Augustine and for a moment he felt the same fear course through every nerve in his body only to relax a moment later. Elena's smell was everywhere, he had seen his brother and no matter how pissed off Stefan was at him, he knew his brother wouldn't subject him to any horrible experiments.

The heartbeats volume increased as the person got closer to the cell door. He could tell by the swiftness of it that it was a human that was approaching his cell. He raised himself to his heals, preparing for the attack. The smell of blood coming off the human became stronger and stronger as it came closer to the door, causing his fangs to elongate and the veins beneath his eyes to start fluttering. A few swift beats of silence was all around him as he pushed himself closer to the wall and into the shadows.

Then the face appeared, and Damon growled at seeing the innocent face of Jeremy Gilbert. He told himself to calm down. That despite how much Elena had hurt him, had broken him, he would not take out revenge on Jeremy. The kid was annoying and always in the way. Always seeming to know more than he ought to. But the kid was good at heart, and tried his hardest to be a help and not a hindrance.

Still he felt a growl in his chest, and letting it be known, more as a warning to Jeremy to keep his distance than anything else. He wasn't in control of himself and he knew it. He didn't want to accidently hurt the kid, but he knew he would attack the instant the boy came through that door.

"Hey Damon." He said softly through the glass. Damon almost missed the greeting but his vampire ears had picked up on it. He let out another low growl in warning before letting it dull to a soft grumble. "You're looking a bit better. Guess they gave you some blood?"

He cocked his head to the side, watching Jeremy, listening to him, not understanding what the kid was doing down there alone at night.

"I know you aren't yourself right now. But I just wanted to thank you," Jeremy continued and the soft grumbles silenced in Damon's chest. "For not hurting Elena."

Her name caused an ache in his chest as he let himself fall to the floor of the corner, bringing his knees up closely to his chest. He hid his face behind his knees, only letting his eyes peak up above them to keep his eyes on the boy.

"I know what you think she did,"

Think she did? Damon watched him confused.

"But everything will hopefully be fixed soon. You just need to hold on a little longer." Jeremy said.

If Damon was in his right mind he was sure he would say something cocky and give the boy a lazy smirk. As it was the darkness from before began to cover the edges of his vision again as his heart ached further and a sick feeling began to overwhelm him. He almost hurt Elena? He was in a position to do so? She may have broken everything in him but he had no desire to hurt her. He wanted her to live as she pleased. It frustrated him that neither Elena nor Stefan would just let him go. Get the hint, they won, they broke him, they hurt him. Get the memo, 'Damon Salvatore Has Been Beaten' and just leave him alone to fade away.

With a sob escaping from his, the darkness came and took Damon away.

***((***((***

Jeremy's eyes softened at hearing the soft sob that had come from Damon. He knew the man was hurting and wished there was something he could do to help ease his pain. But all he could do was stare into the cell through the glass and watch him as the man curled up into a tight ball into himself and shook. With fear, sadness, or anger Jeremy didn't know. None of them were a good choice.

Jeremy pulled up a tall bar chair that was off to the side, sitting near the door so he could continue watching Damon. Elena would be furious with him if she knew he was down there with Damon, potentially in harm's way instead of snuggled up warm and safe in his bed. But as he laid there, staring at the ceiling waiting for sleep to come, a gnawing ache grew in his stomach and he let himself be led to the basement.

"You're a good guy you know? Even though you try to hid it and be the tough man." Jeremy said. "But I saw through it. After you snapped my neck, I hated you so much. But after the carnival as I waited for you to come home so I could kill you, it's when I realized you were a good guy."

He sat there for a moment watching Damon. All sounds ceased from the room and the creature that was currently his sister's boyfriend just leaned against the wall staring at him, eyes red with veins fluttering and fangs showing.

"Anna had told me about the emotions thing, being all heightened and whatever. You had come to me earlier to tell me of her death. You were sympathetic, and showed guilt for Vicki. As I thought about it, I realized something must have happened between that time and when you killed me."

No reply came, he didn't expect one.

"You're so good for Elena." He said softer. "I never wanted this life for her, but I'm not sorry she has it. She has you. Stefan brought her back to life after our parents died, but you, you gave her life. You brought out the passion and fight inside of her and challenged her. You didn't let her do whatever she wanted, you fought with her. She's become such an incredible strong woman since you came into her life."

He sat silently, his mind flashing images of the past few years. All the pain and suffering but most of all, the love and friendship.

"If you leave, I know I'm going to lose her. She's not going to want to live without you and I hate to put all of it on you this way but please, give her a chance. She loves you, it wasn't her."

Damon must have gotten bored with watching Jeremy because he then closed his eyes, turning his body to still face the door, ready for attack but it looked to Jeremy as if he was finally going to rest.

He swallowed hard as he watched the man in the room, his heart aching for his sister and the pain he knew she was going through.

"But, I just want you to know that I understand if you can't. I know your story. I know your pain. My sister will hurt, and probably follow you, but I understand. We'll do everything to help you but, I understand."

With that Jeremy leaned his head against the glass of the cell door watching over Damon through the rest of the night.


	13. Chapter 13

Finally.

A/N: I've never had an unfinished story and damn it I'm not going to start now.  
next chapter aimed for weds 1/11/17 but here's hoping for sooner *crosses fingers*

Chapter 13

Elena was nervous, obviously, for what they were about to do. She paced back and forth impatiently in the kitchen while Caroline took her time making the tea that Jeremy would consume before allowing Damon to drink his blood. It all sounded so easy but so much could go wrong. What if Jeremy didn't drink enough to knock Damon out? What if Damon took too much? What if he just outright attacks her brother without drinking and kills him in a fit of madness?

So much could go wrong.

"Will you please calm down Elena, and sit still. You're making me dizzy." Caroline commented, her back still towards Elena as she stood at the stove.

Elena gave out a pained sigh and let herself fall heavily into a nearby chair. She envied her best friend at the moment. How the blonde vampire was calm and cool, all collected and together while Elena felt like throwing up every few seconds.

Her mind wandered away from her as all thoughts of Damon consumed her. She was afraid of what she would see in his mind, and she wasn't too keen to be invading his most private thoughts. But it was important, she had to get him back. She didn't know what she would do without him. The love she felt for Damon consumed her so much that sometimes all she could do was think about him, dream about him, to desperately reach out and touch him so much that her skin literally tingled and itched with the desire.

"Alright, all done." Caroline stated startling Elena from her thoughts as she placed a mug of horrid smelling tea on the table. Elena scrunched her nose at it and leaned back away from it.

"Are you sure you did it right?" She asked warily, eyes watering at the smell. She looked up in time to see Caroline roll her eyes and turn away from her.

"Of course I did. It's not that hard. She said to steep it like a tea and that's exactly what I did." The blond replied cleaning up the tiny mess she had made. "It's not that hard to put herbs in hot water Elena. Even you could do it."

"Ha-ha" Elena commented with a smile, sticking her friend out at her friend. Even with both Damon and Stefan's tutelage through the years, it had been determined that Elena will never learn how to cook anything properly, which was just fine with her as she hated doing it.

The two girls stopped their bantering at the sound of another set of footsteps heading for the kitchen, signaling Stefan's arrival as they ere soft and no heart beat accompanied. They both muffled laughs as he entered with his nose scrunched up in distaste.

"What is that horrid smell?" He asked covering his nose with his hand.

"It's the tea apparently." Elena told him, standing up from her seat. Now Stefan was there they could get started on the task ahead of them.

Stefan gave a slight shudder as he walked over to Caroline, and placed a peck on her cheek. "I'm glad I don't have to drink that." He commented as Caroline nodded in agreement.

"Me too" Elena agreed as she grabbed the mug and started walking out of the kitchen. "Jeremy!" She shouted as she entered the foyer, heading towards the staircase. She was surprised he was still asleep considering what was happening today, but then again, it wasn't his love of his life that was on the brink of disappearing forever.

"He's downstairs already Elena." Stefan stated following her out into the hall, Caroline trailing right behind him.

"What?" She shouted and using her vampire speed raced passed them and down the stairs towards the cell, stopping right in front of her brother between the window of the cell and him. "What are you doing down here Jer? You could have been hurt, he's not safe!" She shouted at him.

The human boy had startled for a moment at the sudden appearance of his sister but much to her annoyance just leaned back and rolled his eyes at her. Elena felt the anger inside of her start to build. She wasn't exactly mad at him but the stress of everything was just making her emotions feel a bit haywire. She opened her mouth to start whatever lecture was building in her mind when much to her surprise, Jeremy grabbed the mug she still held tightly in her hand and brought it up to his nose to sniff it."

"Is this the tea? It smells really good." He said absently as he peered into the dark liquid.

"Why Jeremy, I wasn't aware you found the smell of fungus on old gym socks appealing, but to each their own I guess." Caroline teased approaching the siblings at a more sedate pace.

Jeremy lifted one eyebrow, staring first at Elena then a Caroline as if they were crazy. "It smells more like fresh honey and jasmine with a bit of some kind of spice."

That confused Elena, but before she could make any further comment a growl from inside the cell brought her back to the situation at hand. She turned her head and looked in, seeing Damon hunched once more in the corner furthest from the door.

She couldn't help but think he looked tired and thin, the veins under his eyes popping out more than they should on the shallowness of his skin. They had kept him on a steady diet but it wasn't enough to fully sustain him, and the grey ashen pallor just emphasized it more.

"I think the important question is what are you doing down here Jeremy." Caroline asked, bringing Elena back. It was the question she was about to ask him herself if it weren't for the growl from Damon.

"Yes Jeremy, why would you put yourself in danger? You are no match for him if he broke loose." She exclaimed angrily, but her brother just brushed her anger away with a wave of his hand.

"If Damon was to break loose from this cell it doesn't matter where I was in the house. I'm a human and he would have hunted me down and killed me regardless." He deadpanned. "At least this way he didn't have to waste time searching and just snatch, eat, and ran."

"Jeremy wha-"

"He was alone Elena." He interrupted before she could get anything out. "He was alone down here in the basement while you were all preparing to invade his mind the next day."

Elena didn't know what to say as she took a step back from her brother. She was touched that he had thought of him alone down here. It was something that was always on her mind as well hence why she spent so much time there with him. But she could defend herself for the most part. Jeremy had no hopes of doing such.

"I'm glad you were down here with him Jeremy." Stefan stated placing a hand on Jeremys shoulder. Elena had to turn away from them. She wanted to be glad too, glad that Damon wasn't alone, but she couldn't be. Not when the risks were too great.

Elena stared into the room, at the man she loved so much it hurt sometimes. He had stopped making noises and had sat down once more, back in the corner, legs drown up his chest hiding most of his face behind them except for his glowing blue eyes surrounded by red. He seemed to be watching the activity going on outside warily, and Elena wondered for a moment if perhaps it was Damon she was seeing right then.

"Ok, let's get this started. The sooner you're in the sooner you'll be out and all of this will be solved and fixed and we can all move on with our lives, well, undead lives." Caroline said, clapping her hands together.

Elena turned around then and faced the other three nodding her head. The blonde walked over to the freezer and grabbed a couple of bags of blood from there handing it to both Elena and Stefan. Elena reached out for her slowly moving slightly out of view of the cell so Damon couldn't see them consuming the blood.

"Ok, you two drink those so you'll be nice and strong. Jeremy, you drink that nasty smelling tea, and when the three of you are ready, Stefan, you go into the room first and then Elena will follow with Jeremy."

"Wait I shou-"

"It has to be Stefan, Elena. He's older and therefore stronger and can handle Damon better as you bring Jeremy in." Caroline said, not allowing any interruptions. "Once Damon is out I'll grab Jeremy and exit the cell and keep watch as you two do your thing. Any questions?"

Jeremy immediately raised his hand and Elena couldn't stop the chuckle and eye roll that came out at his antics.

"Yes Mr. Gilbert." The blond vampire called him.

"How do we know he'll stop? I mean, he's practically starving. You said the witch told you it would be fast acting but what if it's not?"

Elena froze in place, eyes going wide. She hadn't thought of that. It didn't even cross her mind. What if Damon wouldn't stop? What if the tea didn't work as fast as they were told? Witches were notorious for hating vampires but would this unknown witch that Klaus sent them too hesitate at killing a human if it would kill a few vampires?

"I'll be holding him Jeremy. If I think he's taking too much I'll inject him with vervain." Stefan said calmly, showing them the vervain dart he had been carrying with him. Elena hadn't even noticed, being too distracte3d by everything else going on.

She watched Jeremy nod in acceptance before silence descended upon the group. This was their only chance to get Damon back, and it was possible something could go wrong and more than one of them would be lost as well. It was dangerous what they were doing, and in all honestly, kind of stupid as well. But looking back and forth between the faces or her friends and family, she knew that there really wasn't a choice to be made. Damon was one of them and was lost and needed help, and if they were in his place, Damon would just about anything to try to get them back.

"Alright. Let's do this." Elena said softly, biting into her bag of blood.

***((***((********

This was difficult, and it was only going to get worse. It was the only thing that would go through Stefan's mind since the previous night when it was decided what they would do. And now here they were, standing right outside the cell that housed the creature that was his brother, and all he could thing about was how he was going to lose his brother.

"Stefan, are you ready?" Caroline's soft voice said next to him, giving his hand a tight squeeze. He looked over to her, replacing the view of his frightened brother in the cell for a moment with the beautiful smiling face of Caroline, and he couldn't stop the soft smile that crossed his own face now.

He wasn't sure what it was about her but just being in her presence made him feel lighter and happier and that the world which always felt weighed down on his shoulders felt less of a burden. The girl, the vampire, was just so happy and optimistic that he envied her a lot of the time. But as time passed and he got closer to her, he learned to soak up some of her positive thinking and he truly felt his life was beginning to move forward.

It was new and probably too soon but Stefan longed to start the rest of eternity with Caroline, and most importantly, he wants his brother to be there beside him with the love of his life, whether it truly be Elena or not, finally gaining the happiness and peace he always knew Damon craved.

"I'm ready." He spoke softly, leaning forward and placing a peck on her cheek again. She smiled brightly at him and he took as much of that light as he could into his heart before turning his back to the others and reaching hesitantly for the door.

Damon in the past few weeks hadn't been as receptive to Stefan as he had been to Elena. Stefan tried not to let that hurt but it did. The brothers had been the best of friends and ever since Katherine had entered their lives it had changed and all Stefan had ever wanted was to have his brother back.

A few beats later, Stefan unlocked the locks on the door and quickly opened then closed it before Damon knew what was happening. It wasn't that hard to do, or strictly necessary as his brother was weak, but if there's one thing Stefan learned over the centuries, it was to never underestimate Damon. That went doubly for right now as his brother was necessarily in control.

The creature in his brothers body sat up stiffly, alert and growling at Stefan in warning. Normally the sounds coming from Damon would cause Stefan alarm, but for the first time in their long history, Stefan felt secure that he was the stronger of the brothers.

"Damon, its Stefan." He said calmly, holding his hands out as gently even as he cringed at how he sounded. "We're trying to help you Damon. Do you understand?"

The two remained that way for several moments until the creature in Damon tiredly fell back down and dragged his knees back up to his chin. Stefan let out a sigh of relief as he himself fell down onto his knees, slowly crawling his way to his brother. But Damon made no further noises, didn't even acknowledge that anyone was in the room.

He could hear the confusion coming from the other side of the cell door, the others confused at how easily Damon acquiesced to Stefan. He hadn't even done that for Elena so quickly, and even after he allowed her presence, it was always tense. Now it was as if he completely let his guard down for Stefan, and yet again Stefan was at a loss of how to respond to his older brother.

Glancing back at the others quickly he could see their clenched jaws and concerned faces, thinking the same thing that he was. It was a rouse, a trick, and at any second he would be attacked. But it was a risk Stefan had to take. One that he would take if it meant helping his brother. Inch by inch Stefan scooted himself across the floor on his knees, being sure not to make any sudden movements, forcing his mind to not put the thought of treating this whole situation as if his brother was an animal into the forefront.

After what felt like hours, which were really about ten minutes, Stefan was only a few feet away from his brother, about to lift his knee again to move another inch closer when a sob stopped him in place and he looked up to his brothers direction.

Stefan paused and stared hard at his brother, brows narrowing in concern at the slight shake of his body and the wet trails that ran down the side of his brothers face.

Damon was crying.

The realization startled him. Damon doesn't cry, hasn't since before they were human. At least not within Stefan's presence. Their father was strict about it, especially when it came to his eldest son. The only real time Stefan could think of when Damon cried was on the day they buried their mother.

Stefan had been ten years old and wanted to wear a tie for the funeral, like a grown up. He had felt it would pay respect to his mother, him being the gentleman she was raising him to be, though he was still a bit too young. The little boy had snuck into his father's room to borrow one of this when he was caught by Damon.

Damon being the best brother Stefan could ever think of had saved his hide, though in hindsight, Stefan didn't believe his father would be that upset at Stefan's forward thinking, by giving Stefan his own tie. Stefan could steel feel the poise of his body as he stood still for his brothers slim fingers to aptly tie the knot that Stefan had yet to learn.

It was in that moment that Stefan had revealed to the older man that he had seen their mother's angel, and that she said she would be alright. The sadden look of disbelief and jealousy that crossed Damon's face was one Stefan never forgot through their long existence.

Regardless the service came and went and Damon had disappointed him by not even showing up. It had hurt Stefan that his brother was absent. He needed his brother. He was so let down that seeing Damon soon after disheveled and obviously drunk didn't even strike a chord in Stefan as he told his brother he should have said goodbye. Stefan had felt betrayed by his brother's abandonment in that moment and had taken it to heart.

That was until very late that night.

Stefan had had a quiet evening meal with his father as Damon had not shown up. His father didn't seem concerned and therefore Stefan didn't either. The anger and betrayal burnt deeply inside of him from earlier that day. He had pushed his brother out of his mind as he went about his evening routine of reading, bathing, and then getting into bed. Stefan had hoped that his mother's angel would visit him again but he knew she wouldn't.

It wasn't until very late at night when all the servants had gone to sleep and the noises of the house had stopped completely that Stefan began to wonder. He hadn't heard Damon come by his room, he hadn't stopped in and said goodnight even though Stefan was supposed to be sleeping as the older one was wont to do. Stefan was mad at his brother but he didn't think Damon would skip out on saying goodnight to him.

After laying there tossing and turning Stefan had finally gotten up out of bed, his tiny feet slipping down to the cold wooden floor below. He crept as quietly as possible, afraid of someone hearing him out of bed as he went cautiously to the door on the opposite wall and opened it quietly. It was dark out in the hallway except the light coming from the moon in the windows. Stefan followed the cold floor down the hall stopping in front of Damon's room.

There was a soft orange glow from under the door and around it from the fire inside indicating that his brother was most likely still awake. He leaned against the door with his ear listening for any sounds, but only thing he heard was the crack and pop of the fireplace, and perhaps something that sounded like a sniffle.

The little boy steeled himself as he reached up on tip toes and turned the knob as quietly as possible, pushing the door in just a little bit to peak his head around the door. The room was lite brightly by the fire but the corners still held shadows that easily could hide a monster. But Stefan's little eyes had only been on the figure that sat hunched on the floor in front of the heat, still in their nice clothes though much more disheveled than before.

Stefan felt his heart soften at the sight and stepped quietly into the room, shutting the door silently behind him as he approached the man on the floor. As he got closer he could hear the distinctive sounds of harsh breathing and light sniffling, the man's shoulders shook harshly as he curled into himself.

He approached Damon, firmly, never hesitating, never wavering and he wrapped his little arms around his brother's neck tightly and laid his cheek down on his shoulder. The little boy wasn't sure how long they stayed like that, with his brother crying and Stefan holding him, but if felt right, and he felt sad that his brother was obviously sad too.

Soon Damon had reached around to Stefan and brought the boy to his lap, holding him tightly to his chest, his hand running through his dark blond hair as he gently rocked the both of them. Stefan felt his cheeks and hair moisten as tears dropped from Damon, but he didn't mind, not at all.

"I love you Damon." The little boy whispered to his brother at some point as he snuggled closer to him.

"I know Stefan." He choked out, his voice hoarse. "I love you too." And a tear had fallen straight from his brother's eye and landed in Stefan's hand. He felt the tear moisten the palm of his hand but he just closed it in a fist and held it close to him.

They had stayed that way for the rest of the night.

It was the last time he remembered ever seeing Damon cry. Instead of tears of sadness Damon from that point on had seemed to have chosen to take his pain and misery and turn it into anger and violence, and it always hurt Stefan to see him that way.

"It'll be alright Damon." Stefan whispered now to his broken brother who pushed himself so far against the wall, Stefan wasn't sure he wouldn't go through it.

Damon shook his head at that, drawing in a harsh breath. "No." He said softly. "It'll never be alright Stefan."

"Don't say that brother. There's always hope." Stefan sad sadly.

"It's broken Stefan."

"What's broken Damon? We can fix anything, just tell me what needs it."

"There is no end. The torment is forever. They're gone, all gone. And I'm here." Damon sobbed. Stefan gave up all pretenses of slowly getting nearer and closed the remaining distance between his brother and him.

"I can help you." Stefan told him, gently running his hand through his brother's hair, stopping the cringe from the feeling of Damon's normally immaculate hair feeling dirty.

"It's lost Stefan. Do you know where?" Damon asked.

Stefan was at a loss. He had wanted contact with his brother since they found him and now he has it but he wasn't making sense. Was it some kind of riddle that Stefan had to solve? Was it a clue of some kind? For all he knew, it could just be random madness. Perhaps his brother had finally done what his father had always predicted and lost his mind.

"I don't know where brother, but I'm going to find it. Whatever it is ok?" He said gently, allowing the back of his fingers grace his brothers grey cheek.

With that he indicated behind him for Elena to come in with Jeremy. His body was tight ready to leap into action if Damon were to attack the human but his brother seemed to be in his own world and didn't even notice.

Elena kneeled near Stefan with Jeremy between them all waiting with baited breath to see what the next move would be. Nothing came, the only sounds in the room was Damon's labored breathing and tears and Jeremys racing heart.

"You can't find it brother." Damon said at last. "It's been gone for so long. I miss it, sometimes."

"Wha-"

"I had to let it go. You were gone, I was alone."

He shared a look with Elena over Jeremys head, she was obviously as confused as he was.

"Sometimes I find it." Damon whispered. "I can hold it in my hands. But then I have to put it away and save it, before it comes to take it away."

"We're going to help you Damon. We'll find whatever it is you lost, and we're going to help you keep it this time. Do you hear me?" Stefan said firmly, grabbing both sides of his brother's face to be sure he had his full attention, but Damon didn't indicate that he heard his younger brothers fighting words.

"Stefan, he's not, there's nothing…Here." Jeremy stated holding out his wrist. Stefan looked at it and back to his brother, understanding what Jeremy was trying to say and he nodded.

"Damon, in order to help you we have to put the…put you to sleep. You need to drink from Jeremy." Stefan said firmly, holding Jeremys wrist to him. Damon shook his head and pushed the proffered wrist away.

"There's no point. It's gone." He said morosely.

Stefan gave a frustrated sigh and looked over at Elena, trying to catch her eye, but she was too focused on Damon as her own eyes shed tears for him. They were getting nowhere this way.

Before anyone could blink Stefan pulled out a small pocket knife and sliced a little bit into Jeremy's wrist, just enough for it to bleed. The boy hissed at the cut as Stefan shoved it against his brother's mouth, holding the both together.

"Drink Damon." He said loudly, ignoring Elena's own frantic shout and Caroline busting into the room. This wasn't even close to any scenario they had thought of. But He was too close to give up, and though he hated himself for once again forcing blood onto his brother, it was for the same reason as before, because he didn't want to live without him.

Soon instinct gave in and Damon bit into the wrist and drank earnestly from it. Stefan ignored the hiss of pain from Jeremy as he kept his attention focused entirely on his brother, making sure he drank enough but not enough to hurt the human.

The effect were quick, much quicker than Stefan had thought it would be. After a few gulps Damon's eyes began to droop until he dropped the boys wrist entirely and closed his eyes one last time, finally asleep.

Guilt racked through his body but Stefan pushed it away. It wasn't like last time. He wasn't some monster who just didn't want to lose his brother, forcing him to turn by drinking human blood. The human blood was volunteered and Stefan was of sound mind. He just wanted to save his brother.

With the click behind him indication that Caroline had gotten Jeremy out, Stefan looked towards Elena one last time, reaching for her hand, and grasping it tightly.

A/N: I hope you paid attention. I think I accidentally gave a bit away. This is NOT how I attempted to write this chapter. Not even a little bit.


	14. Chapter 14

A/N: Next chapter. Sorry I lied about the publish date. Hope you like it. Thank you to those who have reviewed, it really motivates me more. Enjoy.

Chapter 14

"Well, this isn't how I imagined it." Elena stated next to him as they looked around the surrounding area.

"Nor me." Stefan replied, his mind reeling as his eyes darted around taking everything in. When he held Elena's hand not a moment before and closed his eyes, forcing himself into his brothers mind, he expected…well he didn't exactly know what to expect.

As soon as he opened his eyes, they were assaulted by the rays of the sun. It took him a moment to adjust to brightness before he was finally able to look around. They were transplanted in a wood area surrounded by bright green trees whose leaves tickled his face as the wind blew through them.

"Where are we?" Elena asked, dropping his hand and taking a step forward.

The area looked somewhat familiar though Stefan couldn't figure out why. The pattern of the trees, the dirt path they were on, the smell of wild flowers not too far away sent his senses into over drive.

"I've been here before." He muttered more to himself then to Elena.

"Makes some kind of sense doesn't it?" She said. "We are in Damon's mind, I think."

Stefan wasn't really listening to her however as he took a few steps down the dirt path, placing his hands along the banks of the trees as he did. He felt Elena's presence behind him, following him as he continued on, the further he went the more familiar things became.

Until they came to the end of the path and pushed their way through low branches of the trees, their leaves blocking the view.

"Woah." Elena stated astonished. "Where are we?"

Stefan froze where he was, looking at the large mansion nearby. The white of the paint made the building look as if it were glowing and ethereal, but it looked exactly the same to Stefan as it did over 150 years ago.

"Home." He said softly.

"Home?" She asked confused.

"My home. Damon's home." He answered taking more steps towards the house. Everything felt and looked different even though nothing was changed. The house, the grounds, the woods they had just exited was just the same as it had been in that time. But the changes in the current world just emphasized the changes from whence he came.

Though not needed Stefan made a point to take as deep of breaths as possible, reveling in the cleanliness of it. The sun shone brighter above them without all the smog and pollution that had covered the world over the last century. Even the grass beneath his feet felt different as they walked. More firm, more natural, less soggy and fake as grass was made to feel now.

It made his heart ache for his time. The time when Damon wasn't just his brother, but his best friend.

He watched Elena as they walked around the property to the front of the house. She was fascinated by everything around her, reaching out to touch whatever was in her reach, smelling the flowers that lined the property. She appeared to be in absolute bliss at this opportunity to see where the two other vampires had come from.

It was when they rounded to the front of the house and Stefan paused at the large circular dirt road that lead up to the large white columns that surrounded the front entrance that he took notice of how alone they were. They had not passed a single person or animal. Not even the soft chirps of the birds that had always surrounded the area as a child was heard.

"Where's the other people?" Elena asked. "If this is a memory than-"

Before Elena could finish her thought a soft rustling nearby stopped them both in their steps. Neither vampire had even a chance to blink before the sound of the front door shutting reached their ears. Quick as possible they ran up the few stairs and stood right outside the double wide doors, Stefan's hand holding gently to the knob that was in reality long gone.

Would they be able to get in? Does the laws of the real world that dictates vampires apply here? Everything was so real, Stefan had to keep reminding himself that he was actually in his brother's mind and it was all fake, all a memory built by his brother.

Steeling himself he made the decision to just try, standing there wasn't going to do any good. So with abated breath, Stefan carefully turned the knob and pushed the door open, allowing the two vampires to see into the interior of the mansion. Neither moved, standing in the door way, waiting for something, anything to happen.

When nothing did and everything was still, it was then that Stefan let out the breath he had been holding and lifted his foot slowly and placing it on the other side of the doorframe. Feeling no resistance or barrier he stepped further into the foyer eyes hungrily soaking in his surroundings.

"Who is this?" Elena asked, breaking Stefan out of his own thoughts. He looked over to the left, spying the painting that hung on the wall there. His heart beat faster and ached in pain as he stepped next to Elena, taking in the woman in the portrait, exactly where it had always sat.

It was of a woman with beautiful raven black hair set in perfect curls around her head. She had piercing blue eyes like Damon's that Stefan had spent his late childhood and teenaged years staring into. The details of the painting were exact as if he were looking at the real thing. Everything from the little white specks of missing blue in the eyes, to the vibrant violet color of her dress and the pale cameo that sat nestled at the top of it.

"Stefan?" Elena said softly and he turned to look her in the eyes, seeing the sad and concerned look in them and hating it.

"It's my mother." Stefan said softly. "Lilly Salvatore."

"She's very beautiful." Elena commented, placing her hand softly on his arm. Stefan let out a small laugh, the heaviness of seeing the portrait lifting from his chest.

"Of course you'd say that." He said teasing her, and missing the blush that he knew would have been there had she still been human. "She's the female version of Damon, in a lot of ways."

"He looks almost exactly like her yes, but I can see her in you too Stefan." She said firmly, taking a step closer to the portrait. "You have the same eyes and brooding forehead."

He crinkled his brow at her, raising one skeptical. "She has blue eyes Elena." He pointed out as if it were obvious, slightly put out when she rolled her eyes at him.

"They share the color but you share her eyes. They're soft and caring and wise. Damon's eyes are always piercing and masked, unless he's being an ass or trying to hide something then they're mischievous, but still, you do look like her. "

Stefan stared at the painting, eating up every detail, trying to see what she saw, and a small smile cross his face when it finally appeared. He couldn't believe after all this time he had never seen it but then again, as desperately as he wanted to see a physical resemblance with his mother, his entire life he had always been slightly afraid too.

Damon always mocked that Stefan had been blind about their lives as humans, and Stefan had vehemently denied it for about the first century of their lives. But with age, even when one is trapped in an ageless teenaged body, comes wisdom of some sort and the time Stefan had spent brooding and trying to ignore his real nature and brought up a lot of ugly truths and even now he had trouble facing.

His father had hated Damon. Always had. And not only did the man that he respected and looked up to hate his brother, the person Stefan loved above all others, but he was perversely cruel to Damon. No amount of brooding ever brought up the answer to the burning question of 'why', and Stefan knew better than to ever inquire with his brother about it.

Damon had put up a brave front while they were human, even as others were encouraged to keep away from him. Damon had no friends that Stefan remembered strongly. On rare occasions he would be able to come upon Damon when he thought he was alone, and Stefan would get a glimpse behind the mask that his brother frequently kept and see the sadness and loneliness behind it.

Footsteps from up above startled Stefan out of his thoughts as he looked up at the celling where the footsteps were. They had stopped as quickly as they started and no other sounds were heard in the house aside from the two vampires slow beating hearts and shallow breaths.

"That could be the person we saw before." Elena said turning her head towards the stairs. "Those lead up to that hall?"

Stefan nodded and stepped past her, reaching out and grabbing ahold of the banister, something he had done thousands of times during his short life as a human. It felt the same as it did back then, slightly cold, smooth and solid. Made of the finest wood in the south. His father had been proud of the simplicity of it. How it fit with the rest of the room.

Lifting his foot, Stefan stepped up on the first stair gingerly, the way he would if he were really in a house that was over two centuries old. But the stair held firm and hard, not even a squeak emitted from it as it took on Stefan's weight.

It wasn't real. He reminded himself, climbing the stairs higher as they circled around the wall. He paused every few feet to look at the photographs that neatly, in an orderly fashion lined the walls as the ascended. Photography was in its infancy back when he was alive, but his mother had been fascinated with the object, and his father, always wanting to please his wife had allowed her whatever she wanted, including a photographer. He remembered how she would spend hours setting up a scene, making sure everything was perfect, dressed to perfection and then hold him, or pose him and Damon the way she wanted to capture the image. Back then it always took forever, or what felt like it.

"Wow." Elena exclaimed as they came to the top of the stair case. Stefan looked up from the floor, pausing at the painting in front of him.

It was a portrait of Stefan and Damon, painted in 1852. Stefan had been five years old at the time, but he remembered it being painted. It had taken forever but he hadn't minded as the portrait was of 12 year old Damon, sitting under a tree in the spring sunshine reading a book to Stefan. He couldn't remember the name of the book, and if he were honest it didn't really matter. The only thing that did was that he was sitting on his brother's lap, as he leaned lazily against a tree. If he closed his eyes, Stefan was sure that he could still feel Damon holding on tightly to him, trying to keep him still as their mother painted them. He could almost still smell the sweet spring flowers and the soft breeze that would cause bumps on his arms.

His mother had been particularly fond of her painting.

"We should go down the right." Stefan said softly, turning away from the portrait, not quite understanding why such a beautiful memory felt so painful at the moment.

He didn't even wait for Elena as he made his way down the familiar hall, not bothering with any of the closed doors. This felt more normal, more like he expected it would be like. A hall with closed doors, most likely locked. But Stefan knew nothing about this would be as cliché as it should be.

They turned left down another hall once they reached the end of the one they were traveling, a somewhat slow trek as Elena stopped at everything to look at or touch. He could see from her widened eyes that she was taking everything in, categorizing everything that surrounded her. He could see the questions she was filing away for a later, more appropriate time, a time where Damon would be the one to answer for her. To fill in the gaps of her knowledge and fill her with even more questions.

In what felt like no time, and too much time, they came to the end of the hallway, stopping them in their tracks. The door to Damon's bedroom and the surrounding wall was covered in vines of Virginia creeper that seemed to move and pulsate with life blocking the way.

"I'm going to hope that this is new." Elena said standing next to him. Stefan nodded his head and took a hesitant step up to it. The vines seem to pulsate harder the closer he got, but something inside of him told him that what he needed to get his brother back was behind that door.

Stefan took the final step up until only a foot or so was between him and the plant. Without hesitating he reached out quickly, grabbing ahold of a branch and pulled it away from the door. It left gaping hole in the vines giving Stefan a moment of hope only to be dashed as it quickly was covered with more of the Virginia creeper.

Snarling his frustration Stefan attacked the plant, using his vampire speed to his advantage as he ripped and shredded and tore the vines away from the wall, allowing him towards the door, only to be shoved away quickly with such strength that a plant shouldn't have and the door covered up once more in a blink of an eye.

With one last final burst of strength, Stefan pushed himself up from the floor and launched himself at the plant, attacking it with all the vigor he could muster. He ignored the painful slaps and snaps as the twigs and vines attacked him back, his only goal was to get into that room. But with one final brush, the vines pooled together and pushed Stefan away from them, launching him down the hall landing hard on his back.

He was dazed for a moment, confusion clouding his mind from the bump on the head when a loud thump and a hiss next to him brought him back, seeing Elena on the ground in the same position as he. It seemed the vines wouldn't even let her pass.

With a hiss and a groan from the healing wounds sustained, the two of them got up and approached the plant again. It had gone back to its dull pulsing that it was in before, fully covering the door and wall once more, guarding whatever lie beyond tightly.

"How do we get past this thing?" Elena asked quietly next to him. Stefan shrugged, not having an answer.

***((***((******

Frustration raged inside of her. They were so close and yet she felt like they hadn't even scratched the surface. Stefan was standing sullenly next to her, staring at the plant with blank eyes and all Elena wanted to do was to reach out and slap him into action.

It made no sense, nothing here did. The inside of Damon's mind was the home he had as a human. That in itself didn't make any sense to her as she knew he didn't care much for his human years. Damon had never shared specifics but she could tell that the two Salvatore's had had very different upbringings. Stefan seemed to look at their shared past as a time of sadness and loss, while Damon viewed it in anger and wanting to forget it. However the moment she saw the plantation house, and heard Stefan's mutter of it being his home, Elena knew that Damon would never be able to let it go.

"What are we going to do Stefan?" She asked annoyed at his lack of action, though she understood he was probably as frustrated as she was. Stefan gave her a quick glance before shrugging his shoulders and looking back down at the wooden floor beneath their feet. "There has to be something Stefan. This can't just be it." She huffed. "Let's go try…"

Whatever she was going to suggest though was caught in her throat as she turned around to find the path they had come down and had just been shoved to blocked off. She watched as Stefan quickly reached out for the wall that matched the others and poke, prod, than start banging to tear it down. But it wouldn't budge. They were trapped.

"How did…what…I don't know." She said tiredly leaning against the wall. She felt the emotions in the pit of her stomach start to grow, causing her to ache and it rose up into her chest. It hurt and there was nothing she could do to stop it as the tears came sliding down her pale cheeks and she slid down the wall to the floor.

Bringing her knees up to her chin she took deep gasping breaths as the tears she felt poured out and the sobs took over. She had felt so close to Damon, she could still feel him all around her and all she wanted to do was to reach out to him and hold him. She had so much to tell him that she hadn't yet, so much to show him. She had so much love for him that it physically hurt to have him so far away from her.

She could honestly say she had never felt so much anger towards anyone than she did for Katherine. Elena normally took the blame for herself but this, this was all Katherine. She had taken over her body and mind and played with her life. She had broken Damon's heart and drove him away from her. If the bitch wasn't dead already Elena would gladly kill her again and again. She had felt pity over Katherine's torture when Klaus had caught her when he came to Mystic Falls. But that would be nothing compared to what Elena would do to her if she were still alive.

She cried her heart out, allowing the tears to fall down her face and fall where they may, on the floor, on her clothes, wherever. She felt a gentle feather like touch wrap around her shoulders and her wrist, and a warm feeling of comfort began to crawl under her skin.

She looked up from her knees, thinking it was Stefan she froze as she met his startled eyes from across from her. Her eyes darted to his hands, which were frozen to his side as he watched her. Looking down to her arm where she still felt the feather like touches she tensed as she saw the vines from the door wrapping themselves gently around her. They felt strangely warm and comforting as she fought down the fear that felt like crushing her.

Gently, the leaf at the end of the vine birthed forth, full and bright red. It rose slightly higher, cupping her chin gently, cradling its soft webbed network of veins against her soft skin. It stayed that way for a few moments as the last of her tears fell down her cheeks and dropping down to her chin where the leaf collected it.

When the last tear was collected, the leaf folded in on itself and the vines untwisted the way they came, pulling away from her just as gently as they drew back to the door. Elena stood up quickly next to Stefan, watching eagerly as the all the leaves on the vines turned into a bright shade of red and a bright light from behind shimmered through the breaks getting brighter until Elena had to shield her eyes.

Before long the entire area was surrounded by bright white light that felt hot like the sun. Elena covered herself up as much as possible from the rays, afraid she would burn, wondering what would happened if she died within Damon's mind. Would she die in real life or would she just be kicked out of his mind. Questions kept running through her head as she sat hunched on the ground, waiting for whatever would happen to happen.

"Elena." Stefan voice said softly, but she didn't look up, afraid of the white light blinding her sensitive eyes. "Elena..."

She looked up then, slowly at first then fully once seeing the light had receded and she was able to see around her again. She stood up from her hunched position and looked around her. They were in the same hallway as before, everything the same except the hall was unblocked and the vines had changed.

Behind them light seemed to shimmer and continue pulsating making the bright red leaves brighter. But sticking out from the wall of vines were six tear drop shaped crevices. Elena took a hesitant step towards the nearest one, and reached her hand out to feel the crevice with her finger tips. It felt soft and smooth and alive like human skin.

"You have to find the pieces." A young boy's voice from behind them spoke. The two vampires turned around at the sudden appearance. There, standing regally was a young boy of about 8 years of age. He stood with his back straight and arms behind him. His hair was raven black, shining slightly as the light from behind the vines seemed to reach out for him. The boy was dressed in attire that Elena figured must be from Damon's time, but what struck her the most were his eyes. The same shape, the same shade, the same pierce.

"Damon." Stefan said astonished next to her. She looked toward her friend, seeing his eyes wide and saddened at the boys' appearance before them. It was easy to see it was Damon, but it felt wrong, he felt wrong. The same warmth and comfort she always felt when she was with Damon didn't radiate from the boy before her. The leaves to her back felt more of Damon's presence then the apparition.

"Yes, and no." The boy said clearly with the corner of his lips pulling up in the half grin they were both very familiar with.

"I don't understand." Stefan said softly. Elena watched as he kneeled down in front of the apparition in awe and confusion.

The boy in front of him smiled brightly. Not the same mischievous one he had before but one of great fondness and elation as he stood in front of Stefan's kneeled form.

"I'm sure you'll figure it all out soon Stefan. You are very intelligent." The boy said, excitement radiating from him. The boy seemed to tremble and his arms twitched as if he wanted nothing more than to bring them around.

"My intelligence has nothing on your cleverness Damon. I've always marveled you for it, as long as I could remember."

That seemed to give the boy what permission he sought as he quickly wrapped his arms tightly around Stefan's neck, holding him close as he laid his cheek on his brothers shoulder. Elena watched as Stefan hesitated for a moment, only a moment, before wrapping his arms around the boys back and holding him tightly closing his eyes, clearly enjoying the moment.

It was too quick however as the boy pulled back from Stefan and looked deliriously happy between the two of them as another burst of bright light poured out from behind the vines, blinding them once more. Elena covered her eyes tightly and waited for whatever should happen next.

She stood there silently, breathing hard as her skin felt like it was burning before it finally cooled and stopped a few moments later. She waited a beat or two before lowering her hands and allowing her eyes to adjust to the dim light of the room. It was different.

Instead of the hallway with its white walls and blue trim surrounded by various pieces of art and knickknacks, they appeared to now be in some kind of library. Tall bookcases surrounded them, covering every wall. Old fashioned filing cabinets littered around the room amongst comfortable looking chairs and sofas.

Turning herself around and around she tried to take in everything around her from the high vaulted ceilings to the warm fire places that were lit and burning brightly. The windows appeared dark but she could swear she could almost feel the sunlight coming from them.

Finally turning her attention to Stefan at her side, she frowned as she saw the saddened look that crossed his handsome features as he stared at the empty space in front of him where the young Damon shaped figure had been just a moment ago. Her heart ached for her friend, knowing that he had longed for over a century to have his brother back as it was before.

"Stefan…" She started next to him, but no words came next. What words of comfort could she offer?

She didn't have much time to think on that in any case as a loud rumbling sound came from the opposite side of the room. Stefan leapt to his feet from his kneeled position and took a step back, watching with the same wide and cautious eyes that she viewed with.

"That's the vampire." The young voice startled them from behind. The two quickly turned to face him again, and with a glance in Stefan's direction Elena could see the slight elation on his face. "He's not usually so tamed."

"We had to put him to sleep to get in so we can find Damon." Stefan told him and the boy nodded.

"I know." He said simply and walked away from the two vampires and over to a sofa by one of the fire places. The boy gingerly sat down, obviously at ease in his current environment. Elena not knowing what to do followed the boy, sitting down on the opposite sofa, feeling the hairs on her arms raise at the real heat that seemed to come from the fire.

"You look like him, but you aren't the Damon we're looking for, are you?" she asked him as Stefan came around to stand behind her. The boy smiled at her, obviously pleased with her intelligence as he shook his head.

"What makes a person is their soul, or essence that inhabits a body. Humans have a need to name everything and the essence that inhabits this body called Damon." The boy explained to them with his back high and ridged and hands neatly clasped in his lap.

"That's…kind of deep." Stefan stated, obviously as bewildered as Elena felt.

The boy let out a light laugh that sent a flutter through Elena's chest. He waived his arm slowly indicating the surrounding area. The case upon case of books and files. Thousands upon thousands. "Damon soaks up knowledge. He loves it, it makes him feel alive."

"And this is all Damon's knowledge? Everything he knows?" Elena asked in awe as she took another look around.

"This room is Damon's memory, or how he sees it anyways." He lifted his hand straight in the air and a book suddenly came flying towards it, slowing so the boy could easily grab ahold of it. He placed the book on his lap and opened it to a random page. From Elena's angle it seemed to be pictures as he turned pages showing more and more. "You can't really see memory by just looking inside of you. Everyone pictures something when they try to remember something and such. This is how he sees his."

"I can see that." Stefan said. "He always loved books, and the place is very clean."

"Ok, but if this is just what he sees his mind as, and you aren't really Damon, then where is he. How do get to him? How do we help him?" Elena said frustrated. The information fascinated her and if it were any other time she would love to explore everything there but they were here with a purpose.

Within a blink of the eye the book on the Boy's lap disappeared and he scooted himself closer to the edge of the seat. "Damon, the one you seek, is behind the door of vines."

"And how do we get through the door?" Elena asked him. The boy opened his mouth to speak but before he could a loud angry growl echoed around the room from the bars of the Vampire. Fear trickled through Elena, hoping that it wasn't waking up. When it appeared the creature was still asleep she turned her head back towards the boy, jumping slightly as space where the fireplace had been disappeared and the door of red Virginia Creeper with the bright light behind it took its place.

Standing up from the sofa she turned towards Stefan who didn't seem to notice as he stared searchingly at the boy. "He's behind the door isn't he?" Stefan asked, though it seemed rhetorical. The boy nodded his head at him. "How do we open it?"

"You must find the pieces to unlock the door." The boy stated simply. "When a person meets someone who deeply affects their life, a piece or a shard of sorts of their soul is left with them of the person. They make up a part of their soul that is filled by the person who holds it."

"And how do we do that?" Elena asked, feeling her stomach sink at the enormity of the task that seemed to be before them.

The boy stared at them searchingly. It made Elena shudder and feel like he was looking into her own soul, seeing what shards were missing within herself. She can't imagine anything like what the boy was talking about, but at the same time, it made sense. Seeming to have found whatever it was he was looking for, the boy nodded again and reached down to the coffee table in front of him and picked up a book that Elena hadn't even noticed was there before.

"Leaving a shard isn't something a person does consciously, but this should help you your journey." He told them holding the book out.

Stefan took it from him carefully and held it to his chest as if it were the greatest treasure, and Elena supposed it was in some way to him, and to her too. But her frowned deepened as she turned back to the boy who was not Damon and saw the saddened look on his beautiful face.

"I must warn you, the task you are taking is important. I am but a shadow of Damon, one of so many you'll encounter inside this mind. Damon is not in control." The boy looked over at the shiny red vines with saddened eyes. "His heart has been broken and if he were human he would have died."

"But he's not." Elena said simply, and the boy turned to look at her, blue eyes hard and piercing.

"No he is not. With the beast within him he is unable to. But he had locked himself away, hiding from the pain that he feels."

"And we want to help him! We want him back, we don't want him to hurt anymore." Elena exclaimed and the boy nodded his understanding.

"The beast will keep his body alive, but Damon is fading and soon will be lost behind the door until his body is eventually freed. If you fail you won't be able to try again. He knows you're here and he will lock the door forever."

"Then we won't fail." Stefan stated firmly. "I'm not going to lose my brother to his own mind. I will fight for him."

The boy smiled again. It was beautiful and sad. "He loves you Stefan. Please do what is right for him no matter the outcome."

With that the boy vanished from sight leaving the two vampires alone once again. It was all surreal. It all felt like some kind of weird dream that Elena couldn't wake up from and felt so real. But she shook the thought out of her mind and turned back towards Stefan who still held the book tightly to his chest.

"What did he mean by what is right for him?" She asked tiredly, not liking the hard look from Stefan.

"He meant if we fail to get Damon back, then we should help him be free."

***(((***)))***


	15. Chapter 15

A/N: Thank you to those who reviewed. I really love to read them and it really does encourage a writer to write more. Here's the next chapter.

Chapter 15

Elena wasn't sure how long the two of them stood there in the large library that was Damon's mind. Time seemed to flow differently there and what felt like seconds could actually be hours. She wondered how much time had gone by on the outside. Was it days? Minutes? What would happen if the two of them didn't wake up in what they perceived was a timely manner?

No answer came. She didn't know.

She watched Stefan from across the room as he sat still as a statue on the couch they had vacated. The book laid gently upon his lap with his large hands on top of it, fingers stroking across its cover gently. He stared at the object with no emotion but Elena knew he wasn't impassive. She knew that Stefan was frightened of what they would find and what would happen if they failed.

She was deeply curious about the book as well and seeing who would hold such a high place in Damon's heart. Was she one? What puts one in such a place? There were so many questions running through her mind that she wished the young boy that was not Damon was there to explain further. The boy had thrown her off with his young appearance but she quickly caught on that he was not so young minded. Not that he really existed. He said he was just a shadow in Damon's mind…everything was just getting more complicated.

Having enough of standing around, Elena pushed herself up from the bookcase she was leaning against and walked around the room with her arms wrapped around herself looking at the spines of the books. They were massive in the amount. She couldn't even pretend to ever be able to read so many books even in an immortal life. But upon closer inspection of the spines, she noted that they weren't just books of knowledge, they were also books of memories.

Curious she pulled one from the shelf, feeling its weight was just as any other book was. She turned it over, looking at the cover. Like most books of Damon's time it was just a plain block with its title and author on the cover. A slight smile curved on her lips at the title of "Dracula" by "Brams Stoker." Of course Damon would have read it.

Opening the cover she trailed her fingers down the cover page, caressing the soft paper beneath and inhaling the musty scent that only old books seemed to have. It was a heavenly combination of age and wisdom. That between the front and back cover lie pages of words that have existed since the book had been printed on old fashioned printer presses.

Turning the book on its spine she bent the pages gently to flip through it quickly. Page after page flipped in seconds and as she watched them, seeing the letters blur by, the world around her changed and transformed. When she hit the last page she closed the book with a snap and a happy sigh, looking up to see what else she could find only to be startled by the lack of bookcase by her side.

"You seem to be enjoying that book very much." A female's voice said behind her and she turned around quickly to see who it was. Sitting at a vanity in a large bedroom was a blond haired woman with her hair in tight crinkles wearing a white and green corset and white pantaloons.

The room was brightened with many flames flickering in ensconces on the walls and amongst the tables that littered the room. The Woman stared hard into the mirror at own reflection as she applied makeup to her face. Elena wasn't sure what to say and opened and closed her mouth a few times wanting to say something to the woman who sat nearby, but no reply from her was needed as another voice entered the conversation, stopping any thought that might have crossed her mind.

"While the premise is obviously laughable I can't help but give on the prose." The woman laughed a light tinkle like laugh that Elena imagined all woman of her time had and turned around in her chair the face the bed.

"Only you would continue to read a book with a bad plot only for its good writing." She said as Elena came around the post of the end of the bed to see who laid upon the bed behind the bed curtains, stopping the moment she had him in view.

There laying upon the rumpled bed on his front was Damon. He lay on his front head propped up by his arms and legs bent at the knees and crossed in the air as he stared down at the book that lie in front of him. He was the picture of comfort despite his white buttoned shirt and black pants being wrinkled and his black raven hair, that was a bit longer being a disarray around his head. It was very seldom that Damon would allow himself to be in such a state, and a light blush crept up on Elena's face, being thankful she hadn't come in sooner.

"Well the author has quite an imagination. He actually have a few things right, but tell me dearest Lara, do I look old and wrinkled and in need of a traveling coffin?" He asked teasingly, rolling onto his side smirking.

The woman, Lara, eyes Damon up and down as he lay languidly upon the bed and a hungry look came across her face. She got up from her chair and crawled onto the bed where Damon lay and kissed him passionately. Jealously pinched in the pit of Elena's stomach at watching the scene unfold, suddenly wanting out of the memory, not wanting to seen what would happen next as Damon rolled on top of her and began placing gentle kisses down the side of the woman face and pulled her hair aside.

It was that Elena felt the pit lesson as she eyed the harsh looking bite marks that littered her neck and chest. For some reason, despite knowing what most likely would happen to the girl after Damon grew bored, she felt the jealousy that had encumbered her seconds ago dissipate as quickly as it started.

It bothered her even more as she watched Damon's face change and his fangs emerge that if she were human she would be horrified. That while she accepted the vampires in her life and that they had to drink blood to survive, her view had changed considerably since turning into one herself. And as she watched Damon bite into the woman's flesh and heard the moan of contentment from her as Damon drained away her life, Elena felt nothing for the woman. That her feelings longed more for Damon than the horrible realization that he was killing a human.

Feeling her legs tremble slightly at the realization and still transfixed on Damon as he fed, Elena let herself fall softly onto the chair the woman had vacated moments before, and watched as the legs that wrapped around Damon's hips and the hand that held tightly in his messy hair began to lose their strength until finally falling limply atop the bed.

He stopped then, lifted his head up from the woman's neck and peered down at her. Elena's eyes narrowed as he gently ran the back of his finger gently down her cheek in an almost loving way. He stared at her as if trying to memorize every bit of her features as if she were precious. When he finally had enough of both blood and of the woman, Damon rolled gently off the bed, standing next to it for a second before he reached down and begun arranging the woman's limbs.

"What are you doing Damon?" She asked aloud though she knew he wouldn't answer. This was just a memory, it had already happened.

She watched as Damon placed the woman's limbs as if she were just resting in bed, placing a pillow under her head and covering her with a blanket, gently tucking the corners in. He arranged her hair in a more innocent manner, having the remaining curls lay gently upon the pillow framing her beautiful face before leaning over and placing what Elena would say was a loving kiss upon her temple.

"May you find the peace you were seeking Lara." He said softly, giving one last touch of her cheek before walking away from her, grabbing the book on his way out.

Elena sat in the chair stunned as the room she was in slowly faded and darkened back into the library she had been in before. Everything was as it was with her standing by the book cases and Stefan, still sitting on the sofa nearby holding the book. She was tempted to say something, to break the weird bubble she suddenly felt she was in but no words would come.

What happened? What was that? Was it meant to show her something or was it just what it was; a memory. Questions popped up from her mind and she began to feel overwhelmed. Who was Lara? When was Lara? Why did he do those things after he killed her?

"You're thinking too much." The boys voice floated to her ear and she looked to her side to see him slouched in a nearby chair, legs crossed, his head leaning on one arm while the other lay lazily across waist. With closer inspection she could see that he was obviously different from the previous boy. This Damon was a little older, perhaps 12 or 13. He looked wiser more closed off than the previous Damon though his body language screamed nothing but content.

"I…" She didn't know what she was going to say and she glanced over in Stefan's direction to see if he noticed this Damon's appearance in the chair. But the brother was still in his own world, ignoring everything around him except the book.

"He's scared." Damon said. "I can feel his fear. He doesn't think he'll be able to convince Damon to come out." Elena nodded her understanding, knowing exactly how he felt.

"We need to get going on this soon. I'm afraid if we wait too long-"

"Time is important but it flows differently wherever you are." The boy said tiredly reaching for the book in her hands. She looked at it for a moment before closing the few feet between them to hand it to him. "You should be wary of it, but you shouldn't worry about it."

"You like to talk in riddles." She observed moving to sit on the table across from him. "So did the other. That's not my Damon." She said.

The boy sat up a little bit at that and let out a laugh. "Doesn't he? We are all Damon." He pointed out but Elena just shook her head.

"Damon may be a riddle himself but he is very straight forward." She countered. "He may hide things, keep the truth and evade it but he doesn't lie. He's honest." She said. "It's one of the things about him I fell for."

She whispered the last bit as she felt a tear rolled down her face. Startled she sat a bit straighter and wiped it away before the boy could make any comment. But when she looked over to him, she could see none would come from him as he studied her. It unnerved her the same way as when the younger one did it, but the Damon's seemed to always be searching for something, and she wished she knew what it was.

"And you're not Damon. Not my Damon." She firmly stated causing a smirk to appear on Damon's beautiful face. "As the other said, you are just a shadow. My Damon is behind the door, and I'm going to get him out."

The smirk on the boy's face deepened as he raised one already perfect dark eyebrow. He seemed genuinely amused by Elena and she wasn't quite sure how she felt about that. In his current form he was only about 12 or 13 but already she could see her Damon in him, but at the same time, he was different, emptier. There was nothing of the warmth or feelings she got when shew as near Damon.

"You are one for a challenge. We all know that." He said sardonically, flipping the book that lay forgotten on his lap open. "In any case Lara, was just a woman we knew once upon a time."

The impassive tone struck something within her as what she saw and the way he spoke seemed like two different things. The Damon of the memory was sweet to her even after killing her. He made sure she was presentable and seemed to have some reverence for her.

The boy in the chair sighed annoyed and slammed the book shut. "Again, you're thinking too much."

Elena jumped slightly at the loud sound and blanched at him. How could he even know what she was thinking? Could he read her mind? Was he invading hers just as she was invading his?

"You forget Elena that you are in Damon's mind. Though I am not really him I do know you." He explained scowling.

"I…don-"

"You have to stay focused Elena." He said pressingly.

"I am focused. I'm only here for him!" she practically shouted at the boy, but he didn't do or say anything as he glowered at her and a thought dawned on her. "Are you…are you afraid of dying? Is that why you and the other one, is that why you're helping?"

The boy didn't answer for a long while, just sized her up. Eventually his expression softened and once again went back to its bored indifference that had been there when she first saw him. "I do not exist Elena. None of us but Damon do." He said so softly she almost missed his words. "You've learned biology yes, History?"

The sudden topic change through her for a second but she brought her feet up and tucked them underneath her on the table. "Of course." She replied trying to ignore the ach in her heart at the loss of Alaric.

"Well I'm sure one of the recurring themes in both subjects is survival. The humans only survived this long because of their survival instinct, something all animals share granted but in humans its humans we are currently focusing on." He explained.

"I don't und-"

"When someone is starving they will eat anything even if it's a comrade. If they want to kill themselves they go through all sorts of mental torture before they're able to do it. When being attacked they are willing to kill to save themselves."

"Fight or flight?" She muttered, more to herself than a reply to the boy. "Damon doesn't want to die."

"Damon has been dead for over 150 years."

"Maybe technically, physically. But obviously his mind and who he really is still exists and is alive." She pointed out. The boy gave her a smirk and raised his left brow again indicating she was on the right track. She sat there on the table, thinking over the conversation the answer dawned on her. "His mind's still alive. You, you're part of his mind."

The boy stood up from the chair he was in, graceful as a panther as he closed the distance between the two of them. The intensity of his gaze unnerved her somewhat but Elena held steadfast as he approached.

"We are. Like that thing in the cage we are to fight to survive." He said plainly.

Elena looked over towards the cell where the supposed beast was still asleep. She had yet to go near it to see what the beast looked like, being too afraid to go near it. She was curious what she would see, this mysterious beast that is the vampire inside them. The thing that takes decent and not decent people a like and turn them into horrible creatures who kill and drink the blood of the living.

"Then help us. What should we do?" She finally asked, letting out a breath she was holding in. She turned her gaze from the bars back to the young boy. He blinked several times looking off to the side, not meeting her eyes for once.

"We can only help so far Elena." He gave. "We are of his mind but Damon fights. Your best bet is the book."

Elena sighed exasperated and stood up from the table, causing the boy to jump back in alarm, something she noticed but didn't comment on. This whole thing was frustrating. "Why the games? Why this puzzle? Is he testing out loyalty to him? To see how far we are willing to go to save him? Because if that's it should stop right now because there is nothing I or Stefan wouldn't do for him, whatever he might think."

Tears were streaming down her face at this point and her breathing was becoming labored. Everything was just too much and giving a glance in Stefan's direction, seeing him in the same state wasn't helping. It was making it worse, making her feel alone. Making her feel like he had already given up on his brother though she knew in her heart it wasn't true.

She was startled out of her dark thoughts as a soft hand came up to her cheek and wiped away a single tear that had been falling. She looked down at the young Damon's face as he pulled it away from her and closer to himself as if analyzing it. She couldn't help but take that momentary silence to admire his beauty, even at such a young age. While they were talking he had looked every bit the arrogant adult Damon that she knew and she loved, but now, with his eyes focused on that single drop of her tears on his fingertips she could see how young he really was. The overconfidence he exuded melted away and she could see the curious little boy who just wanted love and understanding.

Something she knew the adult vampire Damon craved desperately.

"It's not a game." The boy said quietly, finally looking up to her. He held the same serious look as before but it held more sadness now.

"It feels like it." She said just as softly. "Or a test or something."

"But it's not Elena. It's not at all." He said.

"Then tell me about it. What is so important about these?" She asked leaning against the table and crossing her arms over her chest. She watched him stand before her, eyes still to the side, still refusing to look at her. She didn't understand why and felt a desperate need to know what was going on in that head of his, just like she always did.

The young boy sighed, sounding just as tired as she felt though she didn't know how as he wasn't real and sat back down on the chair nearby, crossing his legs and finally meeting her eyes. The sad look that he had moments before was gone and replaced with his normal impassive expression. He stared at her for a moment or two before giving a very familiar exasperated sigh as he began explaining.

"As I'm sure you are aware being s you are a vampire and friends with a witch and related to a hunter that sometimes things are true that don't seem like they should. One such is the overly cliché "you will always have a piece of my heart."" He rolled his eyes as he air quoted and Elena had to stifle a chuckle that wanted to burst out. "That expression came from the actual truth that you do in some way give away a piece of your heart to someone. That gaping hole that no one can seem to fill etc.

It's not an actual literal shard but in your life there are people or even places and things that can mean so much, be so important that an actual piece of your heart is belongs to that person or place, whatever. Not a physical piece but a metaphorical piece."

"This is starting to sound complicated." Elena said, starting to feel exhausted at just the sheer thought of what they are going to end up doing.

"Depends on the person." The boy responded. That peaked her interest.

"What do you mean?" She asked him curiously. The boy uncrossed his legs and crossed them the other way as he sat up straighter.

"Some people are more open. Like you. I'm sure Damon hopes he will never have to do this for you. You love so easily, forgive in a second. You've probably given away thousands of shards without even realizing it." He told her.

Elena thought for a moment trying to think on who her heart would have given shards too. Just the thought brought forth dozens of people's faces and her heart expanded in her chest with love for each and every one of them. She would easily give them a piece and keep them there for all eternity without a second though.

"Exactly." The boy said as if he could read her thoughts. "It's not a conscious thing, you don't get to pick and choose but knowing what I know about you, well, let's say it would be a nightmare." He chuckled at his little joke before clearing his throat, leaning back in the chair. "However, others are more closed off. They guard their hearts from others so therefore, less shards are given. Luckily for you, Damon is the later."

"Only six?" She asked looking behind her at the dark red leaves with the places for the shards to be place. It seemed so little, and she felt an extreme sadness for Damon.

The boy just shrugged however. "You should be so glad." He said. "In any case I'm sure you've heard of people dying of a broken heart and what not. What happened with Damon is when you broke up with him, it was the final clink and what held the pieces shattered."

"I didn't brea-"

"Save your explaining for the real Damon." The boy waived off, not even a little interested, something that bugged her. "If Damon were human he'd be dead. Died of a 'broken heart'. Luckily, kinda of, he has that thing to keep his body alive while he retreats."

She gasped and stood up straighter covering her mouth horrified. Were they really that close to losing him? The only thing keeping him alive being the creature that they viewed as holding him prisoner. It had seemed at times that Damon had some periods of lucidity, coming back to them only to disappear. If the creature weren't there, would he have been able to or would he had just died? Too many questions ran through her head and she couldn't grasp any one of them to ask them.

"So we use that book and search his memories for whatever holds a shard and bring it out?" She asked, shaking her thoughts from Damon and bringing herself back to the present task.

"Yes." He said simply. "You need to reassemble them to get through the door where Damon is. Think of it as a computer file. It's lost in millions and millions of bytes and to put the program together, you must have all six pieces."

She couldn't stop the laugh then. Never had she ever heard Damon give a computer analogy before though she knew he was well kept up on the latest technology even if he did pretend to not. But it seemed even more ludicrous to hear it coming from the mouth of a twelve year old Damon who looked as if he literally stepped out of early 19th century with his clothes and mannerisms.

It took her a moment to get herself back together before she could ask her last question. She had many more but something inside her told her that she had to move on and begin. "The book, holds the answers? It has where the shards are?"

The boy slowly nodded his head, biting his lower lip with his teeth. "Yes and no. As I said, you don't get to pick and choose. However we narrowed it down to a few possibilities and hopefully your search will be fruitful."

"Does this mean Damon wants us to save him? That he doesn't really want to die?" She asked hopefully and the boy shrugged his shoulders.

"Damon's already dead Elena. Damon wants to end it all. He's broken and hurt. Damon himself didn't assemble the book, his mind did, and we did as the instinct to survive racks through him. " With that the boy stood up and walked in front of her, placing his hands gently upon her shoulders, looking deep into her eyes and she felt he could see her soul. "Whatever does happen Elena, just know that even though you had such a short amount of time together, he considers you the love of his life, no matter what did or didn't happen."

Elena let out a slight gasp as she opened her mouth to say something, but before she could the boy had vanished as quickly as he appeared. She stood there staring at the empty space for several moments before letting air into her starving lungs. She could feel emotions rising inside of her and she began feeling like everything was too much. That everything was becoming too complicated and the feeling of being lost was beginning to encompass her.

It was another loud growl from the creature behind the bars that broke her out of the coming panic as she turned her head quickly to look in its direction. A few more growls came from within the cage before settling back down to the dull soft snores.

Without any hesitation, Elena moved from her spot against the table and walked quickly to the other side of the room where the creature lay within, stopping a few feet from the bars. She could barely see in through the pitch blackness of the cage but her vampires eyes were able to make out some form of creature curled on the floor against the far wall.

The soft snores of the creature reached her ears and she took a few cautious steps closer to the bars, placing her hands against them to see inside as best she could. A gasp escaped her as she recognized the creature. It was human and naked against the wall, but didn't seem bothered or cold. It had black hair and tight muscles, and it took Elena a moment to realize the creature looked like Damon.

It surprised her for a moment, though she wasn't sure why. Of course it would be Damon, just as the beast inside her would be her. They are the creatures in some sense otherwise they wouldn't survive, just exist as Damon has been doing.

"I'll save you Damon. Stefan and I, we won't let you go." She whispered to the creature.

It made no indication of hearing her and that was just fine with her. She watched him sleep for a few more minutes, idly wondering silly things such as what it would be dreaming about. Does it feel the sadness Damon does? Feel any connections to any of them?

In the end it didn't matter. The only thing that mattered was moving on with the task at hand. As she turned from the bars and headed towards Stefan she couldn't help but feel both grateful and sad that only six pieces were given of Damon's heart. She had been one of the few people to see what was really inside Damon and she knew there was so much love inside the man. He had so much to give and it broke her heart that he didn't feel like he had enough in return to give out more of himself.

It was when she stepped up to Stefan and place her hand on his shoulder that Elena Gilbert decided not only was she and Stefan going to rescue Damon, but she was going to help him show the world the love and compassion that she knew was inside of him.

A/N: So...I don't know if any of you are watching the last season, but with last weeks episode, I just want to put a disclaimer that I totally thought of the going inside the mind thing LONG before and I'm not copying i swear!


	16. Chapter 16

A/N: Finally another chapter. Thank you all who reviewed, its what pushed me to get this written.

Chapter 16

Stefan held the book tightly in his hands as he sat on the couch. It looked relatively plain to him considering what was contained in it, and for some reason he felt slightly affronted at that. For a book that held his brothers memories, memories of people that were important to him, Stefan felt the book should be grand and beautiful. It should be shining and gem incrusted with beautiful silver (never gold) lining it.

But it was a simple plain leather bound book in a dark forest green and the Salvatore coat of arms emblazed on it. Somehow that seemed to fit Damon better anyways. For all he touts about the finer things in life Stefan knew that his brother was just the opposite. The two of them had grown up wealth and privilege, the pillars of the community and they have both taken full advantage of it many times. But for all their wealth Stefan knew of Damon's secret; He preferred the simpler things in life.

Being a Salvatore and a founding family they were all expected to act a certain way, dress a certain way, be a certain way and the both of them had played their parts well. But Stefan knew that Damon preferred to dress comfortably, to not have a load of possessions holding him down. For the past 150 years he traveled from town to town across the world with just a small bag and himself, not wanting or needing anything more than warm blood to keep him going.

The book fit Damon well.

"Are you ready to start?" Elena asked standing next to him, startling him. He looked up at her taking note of the determined look in her eyes. He wondered what had happened in the past few minutes while he was lost in his own thoughts, but he didn't get much time to think on it as she reached out her hand for the book.

Stefan hesitated, gripping it tighter for a second before finally relinquishing it to her care. If anyone knew how precious the book was other than him, it would be Elena. He watched her grip it tightly herself for a moment before walking in front of him to sit next to him on the couch, book resting on her legs.

"So do we just open the book to random page or start from the beginning?" She asked him, trailing her fingers over the cover. Stefan shrugged, not sure of the answer, not sure how the whole thing worked.

"I guess the beginning?" He muttered. "Might be easier than just jumping around."

With a slight nod of her head he heard Elena take a deep breath and hold it in before opening the cover. A bright white light tinged with silver encompassed the first page as an elegant script began writing on the blank page in what Stefan easily recognized as Damon's handwriting.

"The Memories of Damon Salvatore. 1839-present"

When nothing further appeared on the page Elena gently turned it to the next where text in the same elegant handwriting began.

"1844"

Before either could take a second glance at the writing the bright white and silver light enclosed around them, leaving them blind for a moment before quickly disappearing leaving them blinking for several moments at the sunlight.

"What was that?" Stefan asked looking around them. They appeared to be outside of the Salvatore mansion once again. He looked over to Elena who looked curious but not as confused and he wondered if she had somehow known what would happen.

"Damon! Damon come back here!" An elderly woman's voice was heard. Stefan looked in the direction of the voice in time to see a blur of black hair fly by him, the sound of laughter following him. A few feet behind was a women dressed to the nines and looking as elegant as any wealthy woman would in that time. She seemed familiar to Stefan but he couldn't place her.

The woman stepped up to a nearby apple tree, leaning her hand along the bark and let out a soft laugh, her chest heaving as she tried to catch her breath. The woman's eyes were bright and seemed to sparkle as she laughed warming Stefan's heart. "Damon! Come back to Nana." She shouted with a thick accent.

The blur of black hair came rushing back towards them, towards woman and Stefan smiled at Damon's appearance. He was young, younger than the boy they saw earlier. Remembering the date on the page he calculated him to be about five years old. However the Damon in front of him now didn't match any other Damon he had in his own memory.

The little boy was slight and short with his hair a bit longer than their father would allow which only made Stefan more curious. He had a bright smile that reached his soft blue eyes. There was no smirks across his face, no secrets being hidden. His limbs were loose as he bounced as he ran and seeing his brother like this just lifted Stefan's heart.

The old woman slid down the tree's trunk to sit primly on the ground as Damon leapt from a foot away right into her arms, his laugh piercing the air. The woman laughed with him as she held him close to her chest, placing butterfly kisses all over his face causing more laughter.

"Oh my sweet little one." She said turning him to cradle him. He squirmed in her arms for a second before settling his head against her chest and looking up at her with more love and admiration than Stefan had ever seen on him before. "You are quite a handful aren't' you?" She said in her thick Italian accent.

The boy in her arms let out a shrieking giggle as she tickled his stomach and started squirming again. Stefan came around the tree and sat right on the ground next to the two, hungrily eating up the scene, committing it to his own memory.

"Who is she?" Elena asked standing behind him. Stefan could only shake his head, still unable to place the woman before him who was obviously very enamored with his brother.

"Nana, is mama ok?" Damon asked her once he settled once more, languidly laying in her arms and letting out a yawn. The young innocence of him through Stefan and he wished with everything that his brother could have retained this.

"Well my sweet. Your mama is doing what is a woman's hardest task." The woman said, brushing a strand of stray hair from Damon's face. "She's giving life."

Stefan stilled and narrowed his eyes at the old woman in confusion. There had never been mention of another child. It was always Stefan and Damon. He had spent hours upon countless hours with his father talking about all matter of things including life and death and never had he mentioned any lost siblings.

"What do you mean?" Damon asked, confused as well.

The woman smiled down at him "It's something you will learn as you grow older my love. About a man and a woman's true purpose is."

Young Damon scrunched his nose up at the old woman obviously in thought, trying to grasp what she was telling him but Stefan could tell that he was falling short, as it should at his age. "I don't understand." He said finally, giving up and cradling further into the woman's arms.

"Don't worry my young one. You will someday. For now just enjoy being a little boy and soak in all the joy and laughter you can." She started tickling Damon once more and his streaks of laughter came out bright and loud sounding like music. Stefan wished that he could just stay in this memory forever, sitting there at the base of the tree with this unknown woman who was fond of his brother.

"Lady Salvatore! Lady Salvatore!" A young girl's voice shouted from the direction of the house. Stefan looked up to see a dark skinned girl in a brown dress with a wrap around her head running towards them. Immediately the scent of blood hit his nostrils, eyes widening at seeing her hands and the front of her dress covered in the red liquid. "Lady Salvatore, it's the Mrs."

"Good heavens girl, what is it." The old woman asked struggling to get up from the ground. Stefan reached out to help her for a second before remembering a moment later when his hand fell through her that this wasn't real.

"The midwife, she said to fetch you, its horrible ma'am, just horrible." The girl cried, her whole body shaking.

"Very well, come along Damon." The woman said holding tightly to his brothers little hand and began quickly walking towards the large house almost faster than the little boy could keep up.

With a look towards Elena, seeing the horror in her eyes, Stefan took a step towards her and grabbed her hand tightly. "That's a lot of blood Stefan." She said simply.

He opened his mouth to speak words of comfort but before he could their surroundings dissolved only to build a new scene around them. The bright natural light of the sun was blocked out by well decorated white walls that held ensconces with candles lit inside them. The fresh air that had been abundant just seconds before was replaced with the scents of the burning candles, old wood and more alarmingly blood. And a lot of it.

Immediately Stefan recognized their location as being in his mother's wing of the house. His father had loved her so much he had lovingly built for her, a wing of her own with many rooms, a balcony with the best view of the estate and even her own private entrance. Though his father always told the boys to leave their mother alone to her 'womanly things' the two of them had spent a great deal of time there. She was always delighted to see them, always wanting to be with them. The rooms were large and beautifully decorated and she would let them run around chasing each other while she sat on a lounge doing needlepoint.

But now was not one of those happy memories, one of those pleasant scenes. Here the hallway was dark except for the flickering candles and in a wooden chair next to a side table just a few feet from the door sat five year old Damon Salvatore.

Gone was the bright smile and laughter that they had witnessed moments before, leaving behind a very morose little boy, sitting rigid in the chair, feet crossed at the ankles and hands firmly clasped in his lap. He had a very grim look on his face that was so severe it should never be on one so young.

Stefan reached out his hand carefully to his brother, wanting nothing more than to run his fingers through his hair and tell him that whatever has him down will be alright. That everything will be fine and he shouldn't look so sad.

The door beside him swung open quickly, startling both Stefan and Elena. They backed away a few feet as a tall severe looking man marched out of the room with the door shutting slowly behind him. Stefan looked up at the man, seeing the eyes of his father for the first time in over 150 years. His jaw was set just the way he remembered it always was, his eyes hard as he stared at the two vampires.

"Father?" Stefan asked softly before his father let out a breath he was holding and turned towards the stairs stopping at seeing Damon sitting there.

"What are you doing here boy?" The man snarled, making Stefan grimace. He had forgotten how his father would speak to Damon. How it had escaped his attention as a human was something Stefan had spent a great deal of time thinking on. However the only thing he could think of was blind love and devotion for both the men.

Damon startled, his head snapping up to the man standing over him, obvious fear in his eyes. It broke Stefan's heart to see that, to see a child so afraid of his father, especially when they shared the same one and Stefan had never had fear of the man. But at five years old, Stefan not even a twinkle in their mother's eye, there was no love lost between the two.

"I-I was waiting for Nana." The boy stuttered softly.

"Speak up boy." Giuseppe snarled. They watched as Damon swallowed hard and held his hands tighter together.

"I was waiting for Nana. She promised to read to me." Damon told his father a little louder. Stefan had to admire Damon, at five years old, obviously afraid of their father and the boy was holding his own against the man. Staring up at him unblinkingly.

"Your Grandmother is busy attending to other more important business. I suggest you figure out how to read to yourself. It's what I'm paying those tutors for isn't it?" With that Giuseppe Salvatore walked away from his son.

Damon sat still on the chair for several long moments, staring at the spot that his father had just stood. He shook slightly and Stefan could hear his little heart beat quickly in his chest. Listening to the sound, Stefan thought back to just a few moments before when his father had startled the two vampires and he tilted his head to the side to hear into the other room. No sound could be heard and he narrowed his brow.

"What is it?" Elena asked obviously seeing his expression.

"Do you hear anything from the other room or down the hall?" He asked her curiously watching as she tilted her own head and listened hard.

"No, I don't. How…"

"It must be Damon." He said. "Everything we see, if it's his memory shouldn't we be seeing it through his eyes?

Elena shrugged her shoulders as Stefan reached out and gently stroked the wall, feeling the texture for only a second his hand went right through it. He pulled it out of the wall and looked around, looking for things with more details. It was then that he realized that some things were startling accurate and detailed as if he were staring at the real thing, while others were slightly faded or fuzzy.

"His mind." He said simply, pointing out some objects on a nearby hall table. "His mind must record what is around him, filling in details that it knows and the memory picked up. While other things are acknowledged but unknown." He said turning in a circle. "Like there, in the corner. It's empty which is impossible. It's an eyesore and mother would never allow it. His memory must not have rendered it. That's why we couldn't hear father come out, Damon couldn't"

His mind was reeling at all of this, questions upon questions were heaping. He reached out to things, trying to touch them, only feeling the textures for a moment before his hands would once again go through the objects as if they weren't there. Which, he supposed, they weren't.

"As fascinating as this is, we can study human memory later." Elena said behind him slightly annoyed. He turned back to her opening his mouth to retort only to close it shut once quickly as Damon slid slowly from the chair.

They watched as he walked gingerly towards the door, putting his ear against the door for a moment before reaching up on his toes to grasp the doorknob with his tiny hand and turning it. The door cracked open just a little allowing Damon to peak in through the crack before pushing it opened more to allow him entry.

Stefan and Elena followed him, pausing for a second at as they walked through the door, being hit with the strong scent of blood. Stefan stood frozen in his spot taking in the room aghast. There was blood everywhere and it sparkled as the bright fire from the fireplace hit upon it. The sound of his mother crying tore his attention from the scene and he walked fully into the room.

Damon walked by unnoticed by the servants as they cleaned up the mess. The old woman, Nana, his Grandmother sat on the bed next Lily Salvatore gently wiping her face with a wet towel, talking softly to her. Neither noticed Damon until he was at the side of the bed, looking up at them with fear, his eyes shining with tears that would soon fall.

"Little one, you shouldn't be here." Nana said softly to him once she noticed him.

"Mama?" He asked frightened.

Lily Salvatore let another sob out as she held her arms opened for him and the little boy climbed onto the large bed, immediately engulfed against her. Stefan watched as the two held on tightly to each other, listening to their sobs as their tears mingled. Nana sat beside them, running her old fingers through both their hair in a calming manner, not saying anything.

Feeling overwhelmed with emotion, Stefan walked around the bed and sat down beside them, resisting the urge to reach out to them, to join them. His own tears threatened to fall and he still didn't even know entirely what had happened to them yet.

"Oh my god. Stefan." Elena said on the other side of the room, hand covering her mouth. He got up from the bed and walked beside her, looking down into the cradle he hadn't noticed before.

Laying there surrounded by once white linen now soaked red with blood was the tiny corpse of what had been his sibling, one he never knew about. He stared down at its face, trying to memorize it, to keep their features in his own mind but there was nothing distinguishing about them. It was a new born baby and aside from a patch of raven black hair, soaked with blood, it looked like any other baby.

An elderly colored woman, who Stefan recognized instantly as Ona, his mother's most trusted servant came towards the cradle and stared down at the infant with a saddened expression of her own.

"Mmm hmmm. What a tragedy." Ona said as if she were talking to them. She grabbed some fresh linen nearby and gently unwrapped then rewrapped the infant carefully in it, holding it close to her chest. "You would have been a beauty little one. Just like your mother, just like your brother."

With that she turned from the cradle heading towards the bed, holding the bundle as if it were the most precious thing in the world. And to Stefan, he supposed it must have been. He followed her and took his spot next to them once again as his mother cradled the infant in her arms, placing a gentle kiss on its crown before putting it in Damon's young arms.

"This is your sister Damon." Lily told him, brushing stray hair from his forehead as fresh tears fell down her red swollen cheeks. "You should say goodbye to her."

The little boy looked up from where he was staring at the infants face, the face of his sister with confusion. "Why goodbye? She just got here."

His mother game him a watery smile at his innocence. "Because sweetie. Her body is here, but she went to heaven." She said simply. It was a solid answer and it made sense to a point, but to Damon, it apparently was his first experience with death.

"I don't understand mama." He said, voice hitching slightly obviously distressed.

"I know my darling. And I'm both saddened and grateful that you don't." She hiccupped a sob and took a few deep breaths. "But your sister is passed on. And I want you to say goodbye to her."

Damon stared at his mother for a few more beats before looking down at the corpse in his tiny arms. He stared at her in wonder, his sharp eyes taking in everything even at his young age. Stefan could tell by his brother's expression that he was still confused and didn't understand, but Damon never let anyone know it. Damon viewed it as a weakness, and his brother never liked to show his weaknesses.

"I'm a brother?" He asked, looking up at his mother again. "I big brother?" Lily shook her head and wiped her cheek.

"I'm sorry Damon. You were. But she is gone and you are just you once more." She told him sadly. But Damon looked down at the baby in his arms with a determined look on his face.

"No mama. I'm still her brother. I always will." And with that he leaned over the infant and placed a gentle kiss against her forehead.

Elena let out a sniffle behind him and he turned to face her, giving a small smile at seeing her eyes red with tears. She really was a wonderful person with a giant heart, and once again he was glad he found her, even if it was for his brother in the end.

He opened his mouth to say something but closed it quickly as their surroundings once again dissolved before coming back with them outside. Damon sat on a stone bench in front of a tree, or the beginning of a tree. Stefan recognized it as the apple tree that grew in the middle of the garden out back. Damon and Stefan spent hours upon hours as children climbing the tree, eating its apples, or just simply sitting underneath its shade on a hot Virginia summer with some fresh tea. Stefan knew that Damon liked to sit underneath it and just think, staring out across to the lake just beyond. He would sit there for hours and hours doing nothing.

"Nana's leaving tomorrow. She's going back to Italy." Damon said to the tree. "I wish she would stay here but she says that she is old and she wishes her final days to be at home."

Damon stared at the tree for several moments not saying anything else. Stefan wasn't sure how much time had passed since the previous scene, it couldn't have been long. Damon still looked around five years old but there was something different about him. The delight and pure innocence they had witnessed not long before was missing and in its stead was a part of Damon that they recognized easily.

"I wish you were here. It's going to be so lonely when she's gone." Damon scooted himself off the bench and onto the ground, crawling towards the small trunk of the tree. He wrapped his arms around it carefully and laid his forehead against the rough bark. "It would have been nice to have a sister." He whispered, a single shining tear fell from his left eye. Stefan watched it curiously as it trailed slowly down his brother's cheek before lingering on his chin for a second and then dropping to the ground below.

White light splashed up from where the tear drop fell, lighting the tree from ground to tip. Stefan took a couple steps back, waiting to see what happened next. Damon remained wrapped around the tree, none the wiser to its transformation. He watched as the tree seemed to grow right in front of them, getting bigger and bigger until it was exactly how he remembered it.

"Wow" Elena said stunned as she looked up at the tree. Stefan could only nod his head as he looked to the ground noting that Damon was no longer there. But he didn't have any time to really think on that as an apple fell from the tree, hitting him in the head.

He rubbed the spot and looked up curiously wondering if Damon had somehow thrown it, but there was nobody around. Everything had gone silent around them aside from the light breeze that ruffled the leaves of the tree, allowing rays of light to shine through. It made his heart giddy with joy brought a smile to his face as happy memories of his childhood came to mind.

Without a second thought Stefan walked towards the tree, easily reaching its lowest branch and grabbing on to it, pulling his body up.

"What are you doing?" Elena asked amused below him. He smiled and looked up for a moment before looking down at her and holding out his hand.

"Climb a tree with me Elena." He said with a smile and she raised her brow at him.

"Climb a magical tree in the memory of my boyfriend?" She asked skeptically.

Stefan nodded his head and helped her up to the branch before heading up to the next one himself. "This was Damon's favorite tree." He explained as he climbed higher.

They went all the way to the top, only stopping when no further branches could be climbed. Stefan sat on the highest branch and looked over across the grounds. He had forgotten how beautiful it was there. The sound of a crunch brought his attention back to Elena who sat across from him, biting into the apple she had picked.

"Really good fruit." She commented, swinging her legs like a little kid.

"It was. It is." Stefan said reaching out for his own and picking the shiniest he could grab.

"Is? The tree is still here?" She asked incredulous.

Stefan laughed at her expression and nodded his head. "Yeah. I don't know how but it's still there. Still blooming apples every year." He told her, his smile faltering a bit. "I had no idea about her. His sister." He paused. "My sister." Elena gave him a sympathetic look and he just waived it off. "Don't give me that look"

"It's just, sad, that you didn't know. I'm sure my parents would have mentioned a stillborn sibling." She told him and he just shrugged.

"Times were different Elena. Early 19th century, infant mortality was high. They probably didn't even name her." He said softly.

"At least he had this tree." Elena said, obviously trying to be optimistic. "If I had a child that passed, I would want to do something like this. Plant a tree, let life come from it year after year. It's beautiful."

"It's innocence." He said absently. "This was his innocence. He learned about mortality that day."

Elena smiled across from him and reached out to grasp his hand in hers. "He did. But it was replanted and it created new life. It's sad, but it's very beautiful."

Before Stefan could open his mouth to reply, the leaves surrounding them began to move like the vines that held the door to Damon shut. The bright green leaves turned a vibrant shade of red as a branched lowered in front of Stefan with the most beautiful apple he had ever seen. Slowly he reached out to it, grasping it firmly before tugging it from the branch. It was a ripple effect, once the apple was detached, the branches receded into a bright light and everything was swallowed into darkness.

***((**))***

A/N: I swear I was trying wrap this up like 6 chapters ago but I think I'm just digging myself further into a hole. *shrugs* Guess I'll have to see where it takes us.


	17. Chapter 17

A/N: Honestly not sure how I feel about this chapter. it was very "meh" to write. Glad you all liked the last one though.

Chapter 17

Before either of them could blink, the library they had been in before suddenly appeared as if all the lights were turned back on. Both Elena and Stefan sat on opposite sides of the couch as if nothing happened. As if they had just been sitting there and enjoying the fire that had once been nearby.

Elena sat still, feeling as if she should be dizzy from the sudden changes of environments but found she was more distressed by the lack of it. It was as if they didn't affect her as they should and she wasn't sure if that was a good or bad thing. She slowly moved her head around the room, searching for a clock, suddenly needing the comfort of time to hold her steady, to give her perch, but the only clocks were fancy antiques that Elena had seen many times in the various old homes and buildings of Mystic Falls, and none of them told the time. Some hands moved without stopping, other seemed to be frozen in time, while others were just there.

"Congrats on your first success." A voice said across from them. Elena jumped startled, her memory trying to remember if she had seen him and just dismissed it, or if he suddenly appeared like all the others.

She was sure it was the latter.

"I have to admit, I thought it would be a little more difficult." The current Damon said. She narrowed her eyes at him, taking in the slight differences. He couldn't be much older than the last one but still, she could tell there was a year or so different.

"I thought this wasn't a game Damon." She said, trying to keep the annoyance out of her voice. "I thought you had wanted this."

The teen before her waived his hand lazily before reaching for an apple that she didn't notice was sitting on the side table. He begun to toss it up in the air a few times and she glanced over at Stefan, who held a sad expression upon his face and still grasping tightly on the one the tree had given them.

"Yes we do." Damon said catching the apple once more before laying his arm over his waist lazily, as always his demeanor being of complete ease and confidence. "Which is why you were given the book. However we did presume it would be a little more difficult. There is over 175 years and apparently only six shards."

"Who was she?" Stefan voice broke, cutting Elena off of whatever she was going to reply with. "Who were they, the old woman, and the baby?"

Damon stared at his brother, face impassive. Elena didn't think he was going to answer as the pause drew out longer and longer. But eventually he sighed and stood up, dropping the apple in his hand on the coffee table between the couches.

"They are exactly who you think they are." He answered with a crooked smile. "Nana, or Grandma Salvatore. She arrived at the end of summer and was staying until the beginning of the next." He said. "It was a splendid time. She was so kind and warm. I was really sad when she left. And even more so when she died."

"She never came back to the states? Even when I was born?" Stefan asked sadly and Elena felt her heart ache for him. For all the troubles the Salvatore's have with each other, she knew how much Family meant to both of them.

"She died the summer before you were born. Which was just as well as she was old and ailing. When she said goodbye…" Damon paused and looked away for a moment before seemingly getting his breath back. "When she said goodbye at the harbor to me, she knew she wouldn't see me again and told me as much. But she had given me hope. 'Behave my young one, for I will be watching you and someday you will join me. Trust an old woman, I'll remember everything and you will have to answer.'" He paused again with distant eyes obviously remembering the exchange, a sad smile upon his young face before shaking his head and giving his typical snarky smile. "Little did she know right Stefan?"

'Little did any of them know.' Elena thought to herself as she thought about her own grandmother and other relatives. People who have passed on and had hopefully found peace and was waiting for her to find her own. She would be trapped on earth for all eternity until eventually she is somehow killed or just can't take immortality any more. And even after that, who was to say she'd end up with them anyways. She was supernatural.

"And the baby, the girl. Our sister." Stefan asked further, his voice cracking.

Elena watched as Damon swallowed hard before turning away from his brother to stare at the door. He reached his fingers out to one of the leaves on a vine and Elena gasped as the blood red leaf turned back to a vibrant green. He did that to a couple other ones nearby before he seemed to find his voice again and turned back to Stefan.

"What's there to say about her Stefan?" He said casually, Elena knew it was an act but didn't call him out on it. "She was stillborn. Never took a breath. They didn't even name her. A stupid practice." He said rolling his eyes obviously still annoyed by it. "Everyone should have a name. You wouldn't want to be called that boy, that vampire for all of history would you? So I gave her a name."

"Sammy" Stefan said softly, seemingly more to himself than to the other occupants in the room. But the look on Damon's face spelled out that he didn't expect Stefan to know that, and sad shock on his young face stung Elena's face.

"How do you know that?" Damon whispered, standing as rigid as a statue.

"Sometimes I would come looking for you, I'd always check around the tree. I heard you talking to no one so many times. You'd call them Sammy." Stefan told him. "I asked Cora about it once, and she told me that, sometimes when people are lonely they create someone in their mind to talk to."

Damon laughed hard at that and sat heavily back on the couch. "So you thought it was my imaginary friend? Oh Stefan." He said fondly.

"Cora told me to never tell anyone." Stefan replied. "And I never did, even as you continued it as we grew up. I never brought it up again. I was…I was afraid that if father found out he would send you away."

"Away where?" Elena asked curiously, eyes going back and forth between the brothers. The two were silent for several beats and she knew she wouldn't like the answer.

"He was afraid father would send me to an asylum Elena. The illustrious Giuseppe Salvatore certainly cannot have an unstable son. He'd hide me away faster than you could blink. He probably would have enjoyed it too."

"There's nothing wrong with getting help Damon. Some people need it, and it sounds like you really could have." Elena admonished annoyed. She defiantly didn't like this version of himself.

The boy just quirked his brow up amused. "You're joking right?" He said scornfully. "Mental health in the mid-19th century was leaning more towards the mental and none existent health. They asylums were disgusting breeding grounds for disease and the patients were abused and neglected. You would wish me, your supposed love to have gone to such a place?"

"Damon, stop." Stefan pleaded sounding tired.

"Perhaps Ms. Gilbert should do some research before making judgement on others." With that the entire conversation appeared to be over as within a blink of an eye Damon had disappeared and a bright flash of light drew their attention back to the door where the green leaves had turned back to bright red.

The two vampires sat in the silence of the room with baited breath waiting to see what would happen next. The only sounds in the room was the various ticking clocks that didn't show any real time at all, the crackling of the fire, and the creature's soft snores as it continued to sleep on.

"I guess the conversations over." Elena mumbled, breaking the silence. Stefan turned his head to look at her and they just stared at each other for a few beats. Elena could see exactly what was running through his mind. Fear, concern, confusion. All the same things that she was feeling.

She watched Stefan break the contact and look down at his hand where the apple was still clutched tightly. She wasn't sure what they were to do with it. The crevices were tear shaped and this was a giant gorgeous apple. Sighing in frustration she stood up and closed the distance between them, holding her hand out for the fruit. Stefan hesitated a few beats before handing it over to her. She almost didn't take it, she knew it was precious to him, but she did. Looking at it for several minutes and walking over to the door to try to see if something would happen did nothing and she sighed again in frustration before placing it on the coffee table, doing a double take at the missing apple that Damon had placed.

"Ok, we'll worry about that later. Let's see what else the book contains." She said softly, moving to pick up the book that lay next to him on the couch and taking its place.

Elena glanced up at Stefan once more before opening the cover again. The elegant script from before was still upon the pages but when she turned the page to where the words '1844' were written, a beautiful drawing of an apple was sketched upon it. She ran her fingertips over it gently, feeling the lines from the quill as if it had actually been drawn. With a soft sigh she turned the page.

The two of them leaned over the book as lines of ink began to draw along the page in light and dark tones. An image was beginning to take shape upon it and Elena tried to see what it would be of. It was a city it looked like, though one she'd never seen. It had buildings that looked both new and old at the same time as they lined the dirt road.

"What is this from?" She asked Stefan after it stopped. She met his eyes as he shrugged, not knowing either. Elena opened her mouth to ask another question when a bit of color appeared in the black and white drawing suddenly drawing her attention.

A streetlamp that had been darkened only a moment before now had a flaming yellow orange light lit in the middle of an enclosure. It stayed within its little glass case at first before the light began to spill out and hit the ground, lighting up the dirt path and the flower cart nearby.

Before either of them could say anything the flickering flame grew brighter from the page, lighting up the whole picture. Elena swore she could almost feel the heat of the fire as it grew brighter, lighting up more of the drawing and spilling out of the book, and before she could blink everything was dark once more.

***((***))***

It took a few beats for Stefan's eyes to grow accustomed to the darkness surrounding them before he could take a good look around. The buildings were old and covered in dirt and moss and the air smelled moist and green.

"Where are we?" Elena asked next to him. "When are we?"

Stefan turned to respond to her but stopped as he spied himself. He was standing under the lamp that had brought them in, slumped against the post as if he couldn't stand on his own. The sight unnerved him as he took in his appearance, ragged and dirty, blood splotched all over him, what was once an expensive white shirt now dyed red.

"Stefan…" Elena gasped as she too spotted his other self, looking stunned. He didn't like seeing that look in her eyes, the one she always had for him when he fell. The sad yet understanding expression. He hated it, didn't understand it. But it was all part of Elena. You could be the worst monster in the world and she'd somehow feel pity for you.

Not wanting to see it anymore he turned his back to both himself and Elena and looked around for Damon. It was his memory so he had to be there somewhere, and nearby too. He tried to rack his memory to remember this scene, if he had met Damon on these streets, but nothing looked familiar to him despite his being right behind himself.

"Over there." Elena said quietly next to him and he followed her extended finger to a shadowy ally across the street. He had missed it. Even now that he knew where to look Damon was a master at hiding and he still had trouble spotting the vampire and he wondered how it was Elena spotted him.

It was a mystery Stefan had contemplated many times over the years; how it was that Elena always saw Damon. Both physically and metaphorically. His brother always hid in the shadows, and if Stefan didn't keep his eyes wide open and alert his brother could literally disappear and reappear right in front of him. He never understood his brother, not that he hadn't tried but he had always been closed off, always hiding something.

Then Elena came along and it changed. Suddenly Damon was there. Not just in the evil diabolical destroy Stefan's life way but truly there. She seemed to understand him, seemed to like him, seemed to actually see Damon. The real Damon. She saw past the façade and somehow looked into his soul and drew him out, bringing out the once human parts of his brother. And Stefan was grateful to her. Grateful to have his brother back, grateful that he had been genuinely happy with her, something he had honestly never seen before, even as humans.

But that was before Katherine once again broke him.

They trotted across the dirt street towards the alleyway that Damon hid in. Standing next to him Stefan took a moment to take in his brother's appearance. White shirt and waist coat, prim straight trousers and a perfectly tied cravat. His brother always prided himself on his appearance, always loved to look neat and clean. What confused him more was despite the crisp whiteness of the shirt, somehow Damon blended into his surroundings as though Damon embodied the darkness itself.

Stefan watched as his brother narrowed his eyes at his other self and he wondered what Damon was doing there. While he couldn't place the exact time they were currently in Stefan was sure it was before 1912, which was the first time he had seen his brother since Damon had left him.

He didn't have much more time to think on it as Damon shook his head almost sadly and turned away and walked further into the darkness of the alleyway. With one last glance at himself as his former self collapsed tiredly onto the dirt ground below him, he followed his brother into the night.

With Elena by his side the two vampires followed the third as he weaved in and out of buildings and alleys, passing by humans and other creatures that were featureless as they went about their businesses. Damon never stopped or paused in his quick gait as he made his way to wherever his destination would be.

They walked for about twenty minutes before the vampire stopped in front of building, slightly taller and larger than the rest around it. From the sign hanging above the door, Stefan surmised it was a tavern and the smell of cheap mead and laughter hit his senses as quickly as the realization came.

"Wow." Elena said next to him, reminding him of her presence. He looked over at her as she held her hand under her nose to try and block the horrid smells that surrounded them. Stefan let out a snicker at her appearance causing her to look up at him with narrowed irritated brows. "It's not funny!" she exclaimed.

"It's not that bad, I've smelt worse." Stefan replied turning his eyes back to his brother who stood to the side looking up at the building.

"I have too, but that doesn't make this any better." She said letting out a startled yelp as a couple of drunk men stumbled a little too close for her liking. "Didn't any one bathe in the past?"

Before Stefan could let out any sort of reply his brother made whatever move he was waiting for and leapt high up and clung to the side of the building. The two other vampires stared up from the ground as Damon smoothly made his way across the outside of the building and easily opening a window in the corner and climbed in.

Neither vampire moved an inch as their surrounding changed from the outside the front of the building into a small room. Stefan could still hear the sounds from below and outside, still smell everything and could almost taste the old stew in his mouth that had been cooking all day for the patrons below. He ignored it all as he stood perfectly still staring at the bed where the body of a young woman lay half naked and bloody.

"Oh my god." Elena gasped and took a step closer to the woman. "Did Damon…" She started to ask but couldn't get the words out.

Stefan shook his head, as pain and guilt ate at him. "Not Damon." He whispered feeling disgust with himself, realizing where they were.

Light flared up from a nearby fireplace, creating shadows on the walls like puppets, flickering back and forth dancing. Damon walked from the light approaching the bed slowly and it startled Stefan to see the sadness on his brother's face. His brother had always hid his true emotions, it had been a trait that had always frustrated Stefan since he was a child as he always wanted to know everything about his brother. Damon had always been his hero, the man Stefan had wanted to be, his role model. Unfortunately no matter how close Stefan felt that they had been, he always knew that Damon hid away a large part of himself, and that had always hurt Stefan.

Damon stood next to the bed for a moment, looking over the scene before him before slowly lowering himself to sit next to the girl. He reached his hand out tenderly to allow his fingers to gently grace upon what had obviously been beautiful features, now stained with blood and bruises. He sat like that for several minutes, stroking her cheek gently before his hand trailed down along her throat where multiple bite marks littered her once beautiful neck to rest right above where her heart would be.

"I'm sorry." Damon whispered to the girl as he lifted his hand to close her eyes. Standing from his spot Damon walked over to the small desk that sat in the corner, drawing a match from the box nearby to light the candle that sat upon it. He picked up the book that lay shut upon it and opened it reading its contents.

"My journal." Stefan stated simply, not even able to feel the rage of Damon once again invading his privacy. Really at this point he can't even feign surprise. He read the page over his brother's shoulder for a moment, enough to note the date and the woman's name. That was all he wanted. If he wanted to relive the horrible things he did to her he could read the journal on his own but the guilt was eating him, causing the ache in his chest to rise. "1892. Its September. He said simply to Elena."

"What is he doing?" Elena asked obviously as confused as he was. Stefan had no answers. He wouldn't see his brother for another twenty years. It made him wonder if this was the first time his brother had found him and he hadn't known.

Before he could answer though the sound of paper ripping drew his attention back to his brother and he watched with widened eyes as his brother removed the last entry from his journal and tossed it into the fire, destroying it. Damon then walked over to the door and pulled the cord that was next to it that would ring a bell downstairs alerting the owners that he required them.

While he waited for them to arrive he went around the room cleaning up any evidence of him being there. Leaving everything in its place as it had been before he arrived. A sharp knock at the door alerted them to the arrival of a young girl who was sent up to take care of the patron. Damon crossed the room and opened the door for her to enter, closing it tightly behind her and grabbing her shoulders.

"You are to remove and replace the bedding immediately. You will not tell anyone about the blood, you will simply remove the stains from it."

"It'll be like new." The girl recited back in a trance.

"Good. You will not remember me or your task once it's finished." With that Damon released the girl's shoulders and reached into his pocket, grabbing out a small bundle of wrapped notes and placing it in her hands.

With that he turned his back to the girl and crossed the room back to the bed where he folded the woman's hands across her chest gently before picking her up. With a final glance Damon leapt out the window and into the dark at top speed.

The two vampires didn't need to follow as the room melted away and they were once again outside. They had moved to the outside of the town they had been in, with open space and only the moon to light their path. They followed Damon as he walked calmly down the dirt road towards a small farm. The body of the woman was gone from his arms and Stefan wondered as he trailed behind his brother where he had put her.

Damon gave three sharp knocks upon the door as he approached it, and waited for someone to answer. It took a few moments before a small timid voice answered through the closed thin door.

"Who is it?" The girl's voice asked.

"My name is Damon Salvatore, I'm here in regards to your mother." Damon replied simply.

"It is the middle of the night Mr. Salvatore. It's considered I'll manners to come calling at this time. Please return in the morning." The young girl said from the other side.

Damon smiled sadly at the door and Stefan was sure his brother could hear the fast pounding of the girl's heart. He felt sick at the scene, not sure exactly what his brother was doing there. Why was he calling upon a woman with children and obviously no husband at such an hour? The answer whispered to him I the back of his mind, but Stefan ignored it and prayed it was wrong.

"If I could I would wait until morning miss, but this matter cannot wait." Damon said.

"My mother is not available right now Mr. Salvatore. Please return in the morrow." The girl said again.

Damon paused for a moment and placed his hand gently upon the thin wooden board separating him from the girl. For a moment Stefan thought he would break it down, but there would be no point. It was obviously a home and Damon would not be able to get in.

"I'm afraid I cannot my dear, for I have come with grave tidings of your mother." He said sadly. "I assure you I mean you know harm.

With that the door was swung open wide and a young girl of about twelve stood in her old night gown and dark brown hair tied off to the side. She had lines already around her beautiful face from obvious constant worry as she stood in front of Damon.

"Have you seen her? Do you know where she is?" She asked in a hurry and Damon lowered his head.

"I bring grave news of your mothers passing." Damon told her gently as the girl burst into tears, covering her mouth to muffle whatever sob had tried to escape. She took a moment or two to try to compose herself before inviting Damon into the house. Stefan stiffened at that, a bad feeling growing in his gut but he ignored it. There was nothing he could do now.

They stepped into the room, and that was exactly what it was, a room. To the side there was a medium bed which had a sleeping child in it, thankfully not waking at the commotion. On the other side was a small fireplace which had a kettle next to it. The fire was slowly dying but the room still felt warm from its flames. The young girl indicated for Damon to sit in what could possibly be the most uncomfortable chair in the world but was the nicest that was in the room as she went about making tea for the two of them. She offered Damon a couple slices of bread with some butter before finally sitting down herself, hands shaking as she brought the old mug up to her lips.

"I thank you sir for coming to tell me of my mother's passing." She said softly. "We've been very worried about her. She's been gone for a long while."

"Was she gone often?" Damon inquired, taking a sip of the tea and making a slight grimace that only Stefan would be able to see.

"She sometimes would go into the town for several days at a time for some work. But it wasn't often and she always told us how long she would be gone." A sob escaped the girl before she could stop it. "She didn't this last time though, it was very strange."

"What happened?" Damon inquired, taking the opportunity to put down the mug.

The girl took another sip of her own before setting it down on the table nearby and wrapping the shawl that was around her shoulders tighter to her. "A man came, four days ago. My sister and I were picking berries by the stream and when we came back, he was here with my mother. She was so infatuated with him, I've never seen her that way before even with father." The girl looked down sadly for a moment before turning behind her to look at the other little girl, obviously the little sister. "Once he saw us he seemed kind of angry, and he demanded mother leave with him. She didn't even think about it. She just said she'll be back later. But she never did."

Stefan couldn't breathe. The air around him had become stale as she told his brother what had happened. He couldn't even remember any of this. He had obviously been in this house, seen this girl, forced her mother to leave with him but he couldn't remember. He had forced himself to forget all the things he'd done while a ripper, during the times he was off the wagon so to speak. But seeing himself, seeing the damage, seeing Damon, Stefan knew that despite his lack of memory it was all real.

He kept his eyes on Damon as the girl started to cry, unable to look at her anymore. Unable to see another victim that he had caused. Damon's face was sad and sympathetic, again another expression Stefan wasn't not used to, had not seen. It seemed strange to him that he, Stefan, caused all these emotions on his brother yet he wasn't the one who witnessed them the first time.

Eventually the girls crying calmed down as she tried to stifle it, wiping her nose on her shawl before Damon reached into his breast pocket and pulled out a beautiful handkerchief and handed it to her.

"I'm sorry about your mother…"

"Sarah. My name is Sarah. And my sister behind me is Mary." She sniffled, holding the handkerchief tightly in her hand.

"Sarah. I'm sorry Sarah." He said.

"What are we to do? How will we live? How will we eat? What of Mary?" Sarah asked, panic setting in. But Damon calmed her with a gentle hand on upon hers.

"You will need to care for Mary, for your sister. It will not be easy but you can do it." He said glancing at the sleeping child.

"With no mother, no father, how will we live?" She asked him, pleading him for an answer. "Where is my mother, she must be buried."

Damon stood up from his chair and closed the distance between the two of them and kneeled on the floor in front of her holding tightly onto her hands, looking deep into her eyes as if reading her soul.

"Do not fear young one, you will be taken care of." He said softly.

"But why? I don't understand. I don't understand any of this. Who was that man, why did this happen?" She sobbed again.

"That man, is my brother." Damon said quietly, swallowing hard. He reached his hand up and tucked a few stray hairs behind her ear. "It doesn't make up for your mother being taken from you. Nothing will but you and your sister will be alright."

"Did he…did your brother kill my mother?" She asked frightened, eyes wide. Damon watched her for a moment before nodding his head. The girl swallowed and fear could be seen all over her face.

"How…why…I need…" The girl couldn't speak as tears streamed down her face faster. Damon reached up and placed his hand on either side of her head and wiped them away with his thumbs.

"I can't explain it Sarah, no matter how much I try." He said sadly. "I've been trying for decades but I can't."

"We need to tell the sheriff. He needs to be arrested!" She cried desperately. But Damon shook his head and made soft hushing noises to her.

"I can assure you it would do any good, but if your sister did something that would result in her arrest and possible death, would you turn her in?" He asked simply. Sarah immediately nodded her head yes before turning back to look at the innocent child still asleep. It was obvious to the three vampires that she wasn't so sure.

"My brother, wasn't born this way. He wasn't born a killer." Damon explained, though unnecessarily. Stefan didn't understand this whole exercise knowing Damon could and would just compel them, but he was desperate to know what his brother would say. To hear his brothers honesty. To hear Damon. "He was a good man, a smart man." He said as a tear escaped his eye, startling Stefan. "He wanted to be a doctor."

"What happened then? If he was so good why is my mother dead?" She cried out. "Why are we alone?"

Damon had no answers for her. He knew what had gone wrong but obviously he wasn't going to explain it to her. The young girl had already had enough tragedy in her life and Stefan understood his brother's silence.

Before anything else could be said the room filled with light and within a blink they were back in the library. Stefan looked around the room quickly to see if any Damon figments were around like last time but they were alone.

"What…that was abrupt." Elena said standing next to him, obviously as confused as he was. "I don't understand, where's the shard?"

"I guess not every memory will produce one." Stefan said tiredly, letting is body fall onto the sofa behind him. "The other Damon's did say it was the most likely memories, not that it was just them. We'll just have to needle through."

Elena sat next to him and he saw her cross her arms in his peripheral. "I don't understand what that memory was about." She said somberly. "You never mentioned that he followed."

"I didn't know." He replied honestly. "He destroyed that entry that had the information about my victim. I wonder how many times he's done that."

"Cleaned up after you?"

Stefan looked at her then and she had a wryly smile on though he wasn't sure why. "I guess it's just another thing Damon and I to talk about." He told her.

Elena gave a loud chuckle and then leaned her head on his shoulder sleepily. "This list is getting really long."


	18. Chapter 18

A/N: Ok...so...the series finale of the Vampire Diaries. I was good until the last 20 minutes. Fucking mother fucking fuck fucks. I totally mainly watch for the sibling dynamic and they effed with it.

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Chapter 18

She wasn't sure how long they had been sitting on that couch together. Elena felt warm and comfortable and she let her mind drift away, not letting it focus on any one thing in particular. The soft sounds that were constantly heard around the room blended into the background, making her feel warm and sleepy.

"Well isn't this a cozy scene?" Damon's voice said without warning, startling the two vampires. Elena's eyes popped wide open and sitting on the couch right across from her was Damon.

The one before her was obviously older than the past ones but still younger than her Damon, but not by much. She facial features were still smooth and his expression was still that of mischief and intelligence with a slight bit of superiority. She stared at him intently until a sadness filled her chest at realizing that this must have been Damon before the war.

Being a founding family member Elena was required to be an expert in all things on the town, and that included involving the Civil War. She had always been fascinated with it and it was a passion she had shared with her father. She shared all the towns' traditions of pageants, and parties, and ceremonies with her mother, but the history and founding was for Greyson Gilbert and Elena. They had spent countless day visiting museums and sites, unknown hours late in the night debating the battles and the politics. It wasn't until after they had defeated Silas, or thought they had, and had Jeremy back that she was finally able to relax a bit and fully mourn the girl she had once been and the things she shared with her adoptive parents without the heart ache consuming her.

It was at that time, on a warm summer's night, lying in bed next to Damon, the door to the balcony opened allowing a fresh breeze to whiff into the room that the realization that she was literally in the arms of someone who had lived through that horrible time hit her. It was obvious of course, everything they've all been through. She had known since the moment Stefan told her and the entire journey with Katherine and ancestors and whatnot of the time period. But Elena couldn't let her fully be in awe of it. Of knowing people from that time, the time she had shared with her father. Not so soon after the accident when she was still grieving. Then of course one thing led to another and another and it had all been forgotten until that night.

"And what riddle do you have for us now." Stefan's voice distracted her as he asked Damon the question. The man sitting across from them smirked at them and shrugged his shoulders.

"What makes you think I have a riddle?" He asked simply.

"Because all the other ones had so what makes you so different?" Stefan asked.

Elena watched as the man that was and wasn't Damon stood up from his place, standing tall over the two sitting vampires. His eyes moved back and forth between the two of them causing goosebumps to rise once again on Elena's arms. She opened and closed her mouth a few times to break the tension but nothing would come out, she wasn't sure what to say.

Luckily she was spared having to say anything at all as Damon reached down and grasped the apple, bringing it up to his eye site and inspected it with an intensity that if he had powers would cause it to explode. It didn't, as she knew it wouldn't and he lowered it to look at the two of them for a second before walking towards the vined door.

Somehow it must have sensed him as he walked closer the light behind the vines brightened and the blood red leaves began to sway slightly as if a breeze were ruffling through them. Elena stood up slowly from her position and watched as Damon lifted the apple up once more, only for a moment, before lowering it down onto one of the crevices that were extended out. As if sensing the object, it altered its shape into that of the apple allowing Damon to easily place the fruit inside it. The apple now in the crevice grew bright as the light behind the vines lighting up the entire room before a blink of black burst forth, blinding them all for a few beats before receding back into a soft glow.

Elena blinked a few times, trying to see beyond the black dots that still filtered her vision. When she was able to see again Stefan was standing right behind Damon, the light from the vines removing all shadows upon his face making his skin pure white. She looked to what he was staring at as Damon moved aside, and there where the apple was placed was a shining white crystal and with a light blue shine to it.

"How…" She started but Damon turned around quickly, his face grim.

"It is not our intent to bring riddles and mysteries but we are no real. We can only give what we can." He said softly. He looked back and forth between Elena and Stefan before walking back behind the sofa. Elena couldn't keep her eyes from following him, they seemed drawn to him and her body pulsed with the familiarity of his presence.

The man said nothing else as he walked away from them, slowly fading into the darkness until nothing remained. Elena felt a pit of sadness in her gut at the loss of his presence and she almost wished he would come back to them. But he wasn't her Damon and mourning over shadows would do no good. With a deep breath she steeled herself and calmed her nerves as she reached for the abandoned book of memories that lay upon the red sofa.

"Let's go Stefan, we still have five shards left." She said in a soft whisper, sitting on the plush cushion. She held the book tightly in her hands as she waited for Stefan to move to sit next to her. When she felt his presence she opened the book, flipping past the previous pages to the next blank page.

The two watched eagerly as Ink drew lightly upon the parchment, becoming darker with each stroke as trees were created and foliage appeared. In the distance a little cottage could be seen and though it was just an image Elena swore she could hear the soft rumbling of a river nearby.

With one final flourish the image was finished and in a blank spot off in the distance the year "1864" appeared. Elena's vampire heart gave a few extra beats at what it meant, what she would see, and with a final blink of her eyes the library disappeared.

***((***))***

"Great." Elena sighed out as she stood up from where she had just been dumped I the image. She roughly brushed off the loose soil and leaves that had attached themselves to her.

"What's wrong?" Stefan asked next to her. She followed his hand as he reached to pull a few twigs from her hair, trying to ignore the amused grin on his face as her annoyance rose slightly.

"1864?" She said incredulously. "Seriously, now we have to watch as he gives a shard of his heart to that bitch?"

Elena crossed her arms over her chest angrily and stared at the ground waiting for Stefan's response, but none came from the man next to her. Looking up she watched as he looked around their surroundings like he did every place they've gone as he tried to evaluate where they were.

"We're not in Mystic Falls." He said simply and reached out towards the nearest tree and gently tugged a leaf from its branch and examined it. Elena watched curiously. "I don't think we'll see Katherine."

"Why do you think that?" She asked him, pulling a leaf from the same twig, feeling the cool sleek texture. It smelled fresh and new and brought back memories of playing outside I the spring after all the snow had finally melted.

"For the same reason you're smiling." He chuckled and she looked up from the leaf, realizing she was smelling it. "It's spring. Katherine came at the end of June. Judging from the chill and greenness it's probably early spring." He explained, sounding like a teacher. Elena let out a light chuckle, feeling the relief in her gut release slightly. Though she looks exactly like her, and will have to always be reminded of that whenever she looked in the mirror, Elena had no desire to ever see the actual bitch ever again.

Laughter filled the air halting any retort Elena could come up with and the two vampires looked towards the direction of the little cottage. They couldn't see anybody but the feminine laughter continued ranging in pitch littered with slight screeches and hard breathing as if she were being chased.

Elena and Stefan looked at each other for a moment before heading down the barely there trail towards the laughter. The trail ended abruptly allowing the sunlight to cascade down upon them blinding them for a moment before their eyes adjusted.

What lay before them once they had was a beautiful cottage out in the open surrounded by thick woodlands as if hiding the cottage from the outside world. It was a single story made of wood with the same vines that held closed Damon's door climbing all along the outside.

"No no no no, Damon stop!" The female's voice shouted in laughter drawing Elena's attention away from the cozy looking home to the two people in the middle of the clearing, catching a glimpse of Damon right before he gently tackled the woman to the ground.

Elena's heart paused as she watch the two, with Damon sitting lightly on top of her, holding his weight up with his own arms as he placed butterfly kisses all over the woman's face.

"Do you consent?" Damon asked as he slowed his assault on the woman. She giggled again and shook her head no. Damon gave an exaggerated sigh of annoyance as he began the onslaught again, letting his lips linger longer and longer upon her skin with each kiss until he captured her lips at last.

All laughter and play left the two of them as passion over took the two of them and their kissing became more intense. Elena felt her cheeks redden as she watched the two of them, feeling jealousy in her heart and embarrassed that she had just witnessed such an intimate moment that was obviously just for the two of them.

Elena forced her eyes away from the couple and turned towards Stefan who obviously didn't feel the same as she did as he openly watched the two with a perplexed look upon his young features. It was obvious that he didn't recognize the woman on the ground and for some reason it seemed to distress him.

"What's wrong Stefan?" Elena asked him gently, ignoring the laughter that began again behind her.

Stefan stood silent for a moment before he took his eyes off the couple. "I hadn't seen my brother in over a year before he came home." He said hoarsely. "After Gettysburg, I didn't even know he was alive until he came home in July."

"You told me." She said soothingly rubbing his arm but he pulled away from her and stepped further into the light towards the couple who were now just lying side by side in the grass, basking in the warm light.

"But he didn't tell me." Stefan said angrily. "I was worried, for months. I made myself sick, for months waiting for word on Damon and here he is." He shouted indicating Damon.

Elena watched the couple for a moment as they smiled at each other and petted each other, light kisses being shared between them, oblivious to their audience. Elena wondered too what the full story was. The only woman either Salvatore had mentioned in 1864 was Katherine, and from Stefan's story when they were looking for Damon, his brother was close to death when he arrived. But the man who laid next to this unknown woman looked healthy, and surprisingly happier than she'd ever seen him, even with her which pained her greatly.

"Don't…don't think about it right now Stefan." She told him, pushing away her pain. "We don't have the whole story, and we probably never will. It's the past. Let's focus on the future."

"Which relies on us looking on the past. How ironic." Stefan replied sardonically and turned away from her.

Elena gave him a bleak look, wanting to say more but held her tongue. She understood how he felt. Her life has been nothing but secrets and unshared information since the moment her parents died. She had no room to talk. She couldn't defend Damon and she couldn't justify Stefan as she had and is frequently in the same position as both brothers.

Instead she turned her attention back to Damon and the woman, watching as he leaned up on his side, head resting in his palm while gently gracing the back of his finger lovely against her pale cheek that was tinged red from excitement.

"You are beautiful." He muttered as she reached up to stop his hand, placing a gentle kiss upon his palm. "Marry me."

Elena's heart stopped, her mind replaying over and over the two words that had been so softly spoken. Confusion and a bit of betrayal ran through her as he watched the woman smile warmly up at him and eagerly nod. Damon's smile was big and bright enough that no darkness would be able to penetrate them as he leaned over her capturing her lips with his own.

A single tear escaped her right eye as she held in the breath she didn't really need to stop the sob that wanted to escape. Surely becoming in engaged was something you would tell the person you currently loved. He proclaimed over and over again the she was the one for him, that despite the doppelganger prophesy they were meant for each other, and she believed him.

She was never Kathrine to him. Aside from that brief moment when they first met after the fight with Matt and she wondered out to meet her parents, she had always been Elena. While she wondered and fought and argued within herself about Stefan's true feelings for her after she found out, never even before she knew did she question it with Damon. She was Elena Gilbert to him, always and forever.

Minus the previous month or so when Katherine took over her body of course.

Before any comment or sob could escape from her the scene melted from the sky to the earth. The bright light of the sky watered down and slide down all around them to the ground as the darkness of a ceiling with a firelight reflecting upon it too its place.

Elena looked around, seeing old fashioned furniture and a left over meals on the table. The only light inside was from the large hearth that sat in the main room of what Elena presumed was the cottage they were just outside of. Elena walked further into the room, stepping around the loveseat that was positioned in front of the fireplace. There the mysterious woman sat languidly in her white petticoat and top, one leg laying casually on the couch with the other on the ground next to Damon who sat on the floor in his white shirt and trousers right arm wrapped around her calf and leaning his head against her naked knee. The woman slowly sipped on red wine as her other hand played with the strands of Damon's raven hair.

Elena sat down on the floor next to Damon, searching his face for what was going on in his mind. But like always, Damon's real thoughts and feelings were hidden behind a high wall that had apparently been there since before he turned. He stared deep into the fire, blinking lazily as the dry air and smoke hit him.

She let out a sigh as she stared at him, disliking the lack of lighting in the room. It was something she had thought about often over the years with her fascination with history, how did people live without light? The world was full of darkness in itself that the surroundings should at least be bright. In the dimness of the firelight the beauty of the world, of Damon dimmed into just shadows and it made her sad that she couldn't see the blueness of his eyes at that moment.

"I wish you didn't have to go." The woman said behind him. A small sad smile played across Damon's face as he blinked slowly, and tightened his hold on her leg.

"I wish I didn't either." He replied. The woman tightened her hand in his hair, balling it in her fist lightly before releasing it.

"Then don't Damon. Stay here with me." She pleaded.

Damon gave out a sad sigh and released her leg. He got up on his knees and turned around to her grabbing hold of her hand tightly and placing a kiss on the back.

"You know why I have to go Tabitha." He said firmly. "I have left my brother long enough. I've already abandoned my friends and they all died. I cannot with good conscious leave my abandon my brother."

Elena looked over at Stefan who had just sat down on the empty space on the couch. His eyes were furrowed and sad as the scene played out.

"I know you care about him Damon, but he is a man and can care for himself can he not?" She said not unkindly.

Damon let out a light chuckle at her pout, leaning up to place a peck on her forehead. "Yes he can. But he's my little brother and he is so innocent of the world." Damon paused for a moment, his smile becoming brighter as he talked about his brother. "He is pure and I feel he will be tainted and overwhelmed by the world."

"Why don't you bring him here? There's plenty of space. Perhaps he would like to escape your father's control." Tabitha suggested sincerely.

"That would have been my choice but that would never have happen. Not so long as my father is alive." Stefan stated with a sullen expression. Elena looked over to him seeing the pained expression on his face as he leaned in closer to his brother.

"It will be difficult to get out of Mystic Falls myself let alone with my brother. Though he is considered a man and will inherit everything when he turns 18, my father would chase us to the ends of the earth to kill me for taking him and drag him back." Damon deadpanned.

"Surely not. He is your father, he must surely have some love for you." Tabitha scoffed though it was obvious from her eyes that she was worried and believed every word Damon told her.

Damon didn't reply as he stood up from his kneeled position and placed one last tender kiss upon her crown. Without a word he walked away from her towards the darkened table where the candles had long burnt out and began to stack the dishes.

"Damon! What are you doing? That is my job." Tabitha exclaimed from her seat, taking another sip of her wine.

"Yes it is your job but I will gladly do it." He said as he walked out of the room. Elena and Stefan stayed behind and watched as Tabitha drank the last of her wine before standing from the sofa and following Damon.

Entering the kitchen Elena couldn't help but gawk all around. Without all the modern conveniences everything looked so big and heavy. She couldn't even begin to imagine living life this way, and for the first time in…well ever, Elena was glad that she was at the end of the doppelganger line.

Damon was standing by a large stove that took over almost an entire wall of the kitchen lifting a large kettle from it metal burner to poor its contents into an oversized bucket nearby. Elena watched as sweat formed on his brow from the heat of the large range as he worked, both fascinated and worried. As a vampire Damon didn't sweat. His skin was always perfectly dry no matter the activity. The only time he did was when he was dying from a werewolf bite. She watched almost in a trance as a bead formed upon his tan human forehead and made a slow decent down his temple.

"Damon, Damon, whatever would your mother say if she saw you doing woman's work." Tabitha teased coming up behind him and wrapping her arms tightly around him. Damon looked over his shoulder for a second before continuing on his task washing the dirty dishes.

"She would say the same as you while giving me a stern yet cheeky grin in silent approval." He answered fondly. Tabatha laughed and laid her check upon his back, still holding on tightly as he worked.

"Are you to do laundry as well? I have a basket full of soiled clothing upstairs for you then."

Damon dropped the dish he was washing into the soapy water and turned quickly scooping her up in his strong arms swinging her around a few times before pinning her to the wall. Their breaths were shallow as they touched foreheads and gazed lovingly into each other's eyes causing jealousy in Elena as she remembered how intense his eyes were when they were focused entirely on her.

"I will do any and all chores I chose regardless if it is woman's work." He let out breathily. "I will do anything and everything to have you live the life of luxury to which I intend for you to become accustomed to."

"Such words you say." She chuckled.

"The only thing you will have to do is bare the children, to which I as a man cannot physically do as much as I would to spare you such pain." He said catching her lips with his once more.

"It is a burden I will gladly take." She muttered.

As their kissing became more passionate the surroundings began to melt again as it did before. This time with the darkness melting into the ground as light dribbled down from above them to surround them. The scene changed to once again in front of the cottage where Damon stood at the end of a path dressed in his grey confederate uniform with a horse behind him ready to go and Tabitha in front of him placing endless desperate kisses upon his face.

"Please don't go. Stay here with me my love." She begged, tears running down her face.

Damon reached up with his gloved hand and wiped them away with a sad smile bringing their faces closer to each other and taking a deep breath, breathing in the scent that was distinctly Tabitha.

"I must my love." He whispered. "I have spent all winter here in paradise with you. Now the snow has melted with the flora and fauna returning home. And so must I." He kissed her again and Tabitha held on to him as tightly as she could.

"Return to me Damon. Promise me. Promise you'll come back." She pleaded to him as he gathered her hands in his gloved ones and held it to his chest.

"I promise that I Damon Salvatore will return to you Tabitha Colbert. And when I do we shall be together forever. Through good and bad we'll share our life and it will be filled with love. I will gladly give you my heart." With that final declaration Damon placed his lips upon hers pouring all feeling and passion he could into that last kiss.

Elena watched with a sad heart, trying to quail away any jealousy she may feel at the scene before her, but it was hard. Damon had made similar decrees to her over the small amount of time they had been together. Did he mean any of it?

Before she could think of it any longer the couple separated and as they parted a bright light rose between the two growing brighter and brighter. The couple didn't seem to notice as they stared into each other's eyes, each memorizing the features of the others. For what felt like an eternity the two stood there until Damon gave one final kill on her crown and stepped away, and the light between the two faded until it was no more.

Damon grabbed the reins of his horse, gently giving the mare a loving pat before easily mounting her. The horse went in a circle a few times as Damon's head swirled around to keep Tabitha in view and Elena could see the sadness on his beautiful face at seeing the tears she shed.

"I shall return to you Tabitha. With my brothers blessings and a beautiful ring for you to wear for all eternity signifying my love and devotion to you. "

"I can live without the ring Damon, but I need you back. I shall wait for you my love for you to return. And I hope your brother gives his blessings for I know how important he is to you." She replied and took a few steps back away from the horse.

Damon tipped his hat in respect as any gentleman would do in those days when departing and flicked the reins of the horse and was off.

Elena expected the memory to end with Damon's departure but as she looked around, everything was as it was except Tabitha was now gone. She wasn't sure why they were still there, why they weren't following Damon or weren't back in the library. She looked over towards Stefan who was slowly walking towards where the two lovers had stood and knelt down to the green grass below him.

Elena walked up behind him, looking down to see what had caught his attention. There in his hand was a small crystal. It shined so brightly she could barely make out the shape so she knelt on the ground in front of Stefan and held her hand out to him. Stefan hesitated for a moment again, but it was only for a couple of beats before handing it over to her.

In her hand was an oval cameo with a crystal back. The white stone carving was that of an elegant lady with flowing hair. Elena had seen many such jewelry in paintings and old pictures. They were a standard jewel of the wealthy during the civil war era. However the one that lay in her palm had to be the most beautiful one she had ever seen.

"Another shard." She stated simply, closing her fingers around the object and standing up. She took another moment or two to really look around the yard. It was an exceptionally beautiful home, she could easily see Damon in a place like this. Quaint and simple, beautiful.

"I never knew about this." Stefan said standing himself. "Damon never told me about any of this. About Tabitha."

Elena reached out to him but Stefan took a few steps back to stay out of her reach and she let her arm drop. Anger began to ripple through Stefan as he paced a few feet in agitation, trying to keep it in.

"Stefan, maybe he-"

"Don't make excuses for him Elena." He bit out. "Especially now, about this. You have no idea what this is either, I could see it in your eyes." Elena couldn't deny that, but even though she was jealous and hurt she didn't want to be overwhelmed with this new knowledge at the moment. They had to focus.

"I'm not Stefan I promise." She placated. "But we don't know anything. There's no point in being mad if we don't have all the facts."

"What happened?"" He asked suddenly turning towards her causing her to take a step or two back.

"What do you mean?"

"I mean between now and July. What happened?" He repeated. Elena shook her head slowly not following his train of thought. "It's spring Elena, early spring. He didn't show up on Mystic Falls until July, and when he did he was half dead. What happened during the months between, and why didn't he tell me about Tabitha after?"

"Well those are simple answers" Damon's voice stated behind them. The two vampires turned around quickly spotting a sixteen year old looking Damon once again sitting on one of the comfortable red couches.

Once again in a blink of an eye they were back in the library and out of the book. Elena held on tightly to the cameo still in her hand, afraid that it will somehow disappear too. She opened her mouth a few times to say something but nothing came to mind. She was so tired, so weary, and everything was blending in and she was becoming more and more confused as everything move along.

Stefan however didn't seem out of place at all as he sat down on the sofa behind them heavily and stared hard at the young Damon before them.

"Then pray tell, what are they?"

***((***))***

A/N: There another chapter. Is this getting to complicated? I swear its getting far too complicated. Is there any questions or missing parts or something that you feel should be in or just want answered and maybe I can work into the next chapter to help fill in any missing gaps any of you feel is there.

MissMonk


	19. Chapter 19

Yay! Another Chapter!

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Chapter 19

Stefan stared hard at the sixteen year old version of his brother that sat casually before him. He had seen many versions of his brother by this time and each one had been more difficult that the last. Though his mind repeatedly told him that it's not really Damon, they are just shadows as they kept reminding the two vampires, but their exterior and mannerisms makes it very hard to keep them separated.

He waited in silence for this newest shadow to begin whatever story he was about to spin, finding that these shadows were expressive in giving information than the brother that he knows. Or thought he knew. Normally Stefan had endless patience for serious conversations, especially when it came to his brother, knowing that Damon required more internal prep and had to feel in control and secure, but all the new things and the stress it was all causing was just becoming too much and right now Stefan just wanted to strangle the shadow.

After a few moments in whatever standoff they were in, Stefan glanced over to Elena who was eyeing the two brothers warily, obviously expecting some kind of confrontation. When she finally met his gaze she stared for a few beats, communicating with him if he was sure this is what he wanted, and with a nod of his head she let out the breath she was holding and turned towards the vines.

As she approached the vines with the latest acquired shard, the leaves began to sway from an invisible breeze, and as she placed it in an awaiting crevice, the light behind turned bright for a moment blinding them again before it grasped the shard tightly and blinking out the light. Once his sight had been returned, Stefan saw the crystal shining the same eerie blue as the apple.

"Two down, four to go." Damon said, reminding the two of his presence. Stefan scooted a bit to the left to make room for Elena to sit next to him, waiting for her to get comfortable before turning his full attention back to the Damon clone.

"So tell me, Damon." Stefan started sourly. "What have you been keeping from me?"

"Keeping from you?" Damon laughed scornfully causing Stefan to let out a low growl.

"I'm not oblivious Damon, I know there are a lot of things I don't know about you. Especially since we've become vampires." Stefan started. "But we were human then brother. We were close. Or at least I thought we were."

He lowered his eyes then, unable to see the face of his brother anymore. It felt wrong to pour his bitterness out to a shadow and not his actual brother but the pain was too great. He had wanted to know his brother for so long and at any other time this opportunity would have been amazing, but now it was just tiring.

He was so tired. So wary. Everything that has happened over the past few years was sapping away his energy and this was turning out to be the final straw. Through it all though he had Damon. Though he didn't like his methods, and disagreed vehemently with him, the fact remained that Damon got things done. He did what needed doing and though Stefan was really over 162 years old, the truth was, he still felt like a 17 year old boy with his friends and was out of his element. Damon taking charge put him in the grown up role, something Stefan was slowly beginning Damon had always been for him.

But with the past few months of learning about his brother's extended captivity, Katherine taking over Elena's body and breaking his heart, searching for and finding him and now this…Stefan was just tired.

He stared at the current shadow, waiting for its response, feeling Elena sitting next to him move her hand to gently tap on the leg that touched hers to calm him. He used her presence as an anchor to keep his temper, to keep his mind. He just wanted to reach out to the Damon shadow and strangle him until he gave them what they wanted. Answers and the rest of the shards. But he knew it would do no good as the shadow would disappear and Damon didn't know who had the shards any more than they did. The book of memories was just the best guess.

"It is not our int-"

"Yes yes we know. You aren't actively trying to keep things from us. That's not what I'm talking about." Stefan scowled. The Damon shadow gave a slight nod of his head and looked to the table before him. "I just…who is Tabitha." He asked leaning further back into the couch.

Damon looked up from the table and stared at Stefan for a moment as in thought. "I can tell you if that is what you want brother." He said. "But I do believe this is a conversation you should have with the actual Damon."

Stefan shook his head and forced himself not to roll his eyes. "You might be this 'shadow' think but you are Damon." He replied tightly. "You are his mind, you have his memories, and you are for all intents and purposes Damon. Why you try to confuse and trick us I have no idea but yes, I want the answers now. I can't rely on Damon to tell me once we awaken him. "

"You mean if." Damon corrected but Stefan shook his head.

"No, I mean when. Damon will be waking up." Stefan told him firmly. "Who was Tabitha?"

"Tabitha was the human love of my life." He said weakly.

Stefan bit his lip to prevent himself from interrupting. Just that one sentence caused so many questions to pop into his mind but asking would just confuse everything further.

"I though Katherine was." Elena asked next to him, sounding confused and if Stefan wasn't mistaken, a little jealousy.

"Katherine, was…" Damon paused for a moment as if thinking of the words to say, but after a few beats he didn't continue.

"Katherine was what Damon?" Elena gently prodded, leaning up from her sitting position.

"I think it might be easier to explain what happened before I came home." Damon said sitting up straighter in his seat and switching his crossed legs. Stefan felt his blue eyes on him as the sixteen year old placed his hands primly in his lap, looking every bit the high society gentleman he was raised to be.

"Between that memory and when you came home?" Stefan clarified and Damon nodded his head.

"Yes. I was on my way home. It was early April. I had spent the winter in West Virginia after deserting the Confederate Army." He paused for a moment taking a couple deep breaths he did not need. The silence stretched on as Damon seemed lost and Stefan felt a pang of guilt for being so incessant on having the story. But before Long Damon shook himself out of it. "I had made it halfway across state in a couple of days. It would only be a few more before I hit Virginia. I had stopped for the night, with no moon it was too dark to continue so I had set up camp. Little did I know there were Union scouts nearby.

They grabbed me and took me back to their camp and was declared a prisoner of war. I stayed with them for about a week as they marched north. You can imagine how well I was treated, but in any case once they hit someplace in Ohio I was left at what they called a 'work camp', which was just a euphemism for hell."

Damon paused there and swallowed hard. Stefan's gut clenched afraid of what sort of hell the man in front of him was referring too. He'd been around a long time, and he himself had caused enough suffering to know that what was done to a human was much worse than when you were a vampire. And it was sicker when humans were the ones doing the torturing.

"What happened Damon?" He asked, despite everything in his gut telling him not to.

"Oh Stefan, like you don't know." Damon said cheekily, trying to play off his obvious distress the memory caused. "It was just the normal crap you know. Starvation, abuse, torture. We were worked from dawn till dusk and then we were questioned endlessly into the night. It went on for months. The conditions were just horrible and men were dying every day from disease and infection. Every day I was there a bit of me felt like I died. I desperately just wanted to go home, or just to die."

"Damon…" Stefan interrupted but didn't say anything more, there was nothing to say.

"It was you Stefan who actually convinced me to make my escape." Damon said almost fondly.

"Me? How…"

"You were there with me. The whole time." Damon said.

Stefan looked over at Elena seeing what he was feeling about this revelation reflected on her face. Damon for once seemed calmed and honest, all pretense of long built walls gone as he smiled warmly at Stefan.

"If it weren't for you, I probably would have lost it a long time ago, but you were there. Every step of the way. Telling me to hold on, to keep fighting. Even when I just wanted to give in and give up."

"Damon, I was-" But Stefan didn't finish his sentence as Elena grabbed ahold of his hand and held it tightly, quieting him.

"I realize you weren't really there Stefan, but, at the time it was a comfort. You were a comfort to me." He said softly. "But in any case I became sick, and I knew I would die in there if I didn't get out. It was you who helped me devise a plan of escape, and so it was I was able to get away with a horse and I rode off towards home."

Stefan's mind was reeling as he imagined his brother, broken and sick, barely escaping with his life. "How did you make it back to Mystic Falls?" He asked curious, playing the distance in his mind. Damon was clearly delirious, there was no way he could have made it home alive on his own.

"Katherine."

"Katherine?" Stefan asked alarmed.

Damon nodded his head. "It's a bit blurry as I was very ill but she somehow found me and she took care of me."

"By giving you blood?"

"No strangely enough. One moment I'm dying in the camp, I remember you telling me to escapes and I did, but after that I have no memory. I woke up one day on a soft bed with a beautiful woman next to me and two weeks had passed."

Stefan had to think on that for a moment or two. Katherine doing anything out of kindness just wasn't possible. She claimed over and over in the past few years since her return that she loved Stefan but he genuinely didn't believe she was capable of it. Nothing came to mind on what kind of advantage Katherine would have had for caring for Damon in a human fashion.

"What happened next?" Stefan asked filing away the information for later.

"Well, she brought me home." He said simply.

"But you were a mess Damon, barely alive. If you were taken care of by Katherine, how did you get back to that state?" Stefan asked him, rubbing his forehead as his mind trying to piece everything together.

Damon shrugged and waived his hand as if it weren't important. "It was Katherine." He said as if that should explain it. Stefan gave him an exasperated look which caused Damon to roll his eyes. "Katherine compelled some people to rough me up a bit when we got near Mystic Falls. I was still disoriented and confused from being sick." He paused for a moment looking at Stefan. "I think she was intrigued by you before she even knew of your existence."

Stefan was bewildered and shook his head. "How? I didn't meet her until after you came home."

"True, but remember you were there with me. Through it all. I think it intrigued her that your presence was so near me when you were obviously so far away."

Stefan stood then, feeling slightly restless. He wasn't sure how to process what Damon had said. It should be no surprised that in his darkest moments, human Damon would take comfort in him. They were close at that time. His brother had always been a mystery and hidden his feelings but Stefan as a human never questioned his importance to his elder brother.

"Alright, so that's what happened between so who is Tabitha? You were home in July and you didn't mention her once." Stefan moved on. He crossed his arms over his chest and stared at the sixteen year old version of his brother, demanding answers.

Damon took a deep breath, and Stefan eyed him warily, his mind already tired from everything already. "Tabitha was a happy accident that came into my life at a time that I really needed someone." He began. "News of Gettysburg was everywhere, their defeat and the slaughter of so many men. It was devastating.

I was devastated.

All I wanted to do was go home, back to Mystic Falls but after hearing of the Souths defeat and knowing in my heart that all the men in my troop, my friends were all dead I couldn't bring myself to. I should have died with them, it was my duty, not to the South and the Confederate Army but to my comrades that I should have fought and died with them. "

Stefan's heart clenched at hearing Damon's confession. Of course his brother would feel like that, especially human Damon. He knew his brother did not care for the war and had no love for the South itself but only enlisted due to his father, but despite his father's grumblings Stefan had always known that Damon was an honorable man. Stefan was glad Damon had deserted at that time. He didn't know what he would do if his brother had been killed.

"I wondered aimlessly for about a month. It got cold, really cold as winter started. I knew I should find someplace and hole up for the winter but I couldn't. Aside from being a deserter, I just didn't have any will to live, and I was too much of a coward to take my own life. Eventually I ended up in a wooded area and was so exhausted that I just slumped to the bottom of a tree and closed my eyes. The snow began to cover me and I just let myself drift off to sleep, no longer able to feel the cold.

When I came to however I was freezing but I was dry and the smell of a fire nearby made me smile. When I opened my eyes, the most beautiful woman I had ever seen was leaning over me with a damn towel dabbing my forehead. I could have sworn she was an angel.

She cared for me, helped me recover. I confessed what I had done and had understood my pain. Though it was of course improper, she encouraged me to stay throughout the winter. She was alone, her companions having been freed slaves went to join the Union. The house was a day away from the nearest town and she said she could use the friendship.

It started off that way but I think the isolation drew us closer and soon I had fallen madly in love with her. She was perfect. A proper lady, of lower wealth then of us of course but you couldn't tell by the way she held herself. She was well read, spoke her mind. She could debate better than any of those fools in Washington.

For the first time in my life, I was truly happy."

Damon stopped his narrative and Stefan had to lower his eyes from his brother as a tear found its way down the young boy's cheek. His brother happy was all Stefan had ever wanted for him and he felt his heart ache that he had had it before and somehow was ripped from him. It was making him feel more determined to get him back now and reunite him with Elena. He had never seen Damon so happy as when the two of them were together, even when they fought all the time he could easily see the love between them.

"So you fell in love after deserting and you were on your way back to Mystic Falls, was taken prisoner, escaped and somehow Katherine found you." Elena surmised, her voice hoarse drawing Stefan's attention. His heart clenched at her red eyes as tears fell and he wondered curiously if she was crying for Damon'' lost love or that he had loved before.

"Yes." Damon responded simply.

"I'm still confused why you never mentioned anything to Stefan once you were home. Surely news of your impending engagement was something you'd want to share with him." Elena continued sitting up further.

Damon slowly nodded his head letting out a breath. "Katherine of course." He said simply. "I was dying and my only comfort was a hallucination of my brother. Katherine found me, and she erased all memory of Tabitha."

"What about after? Her compulsion would have dissipated during your transition." Stefan pressed. He didn't know why but the fact that his brother hadn't told him any of this really bothered him. He needed to know the reasons behind his decisions.

"Other than you being a ripper douche?" Damon snarled causing the hairs on Stefan's arms to raise at the familiarity of it. "It should be obvious Stefan."

He thought on that, thinking back to that time. The both of them were madly in love with Katherine, or at least Damon was. Stefan after many years of internal debate could finally admit that yes, he had some genuine feelings for Katherine, however love would be going too far. Most of his devotion was given freely in response to her compulsion, of making him un-afraid.

Damon however had loved her apparently from the beginning. He still recalled seven years ago after the first failed attempt to get into the tomb, the sad forlorn expression on his brothers face as tears fell from his beautiful blue eyes and he confessed that it was all real for him. That he had known all along what she was and what she was doing.

However this sad tale of a long lost human love contradicts his words.

"You were sired." Elena stated somberly. Stefan stared at her as if she were crazy, wondering where she came up with that theory but a slight rise of Damon's brows with a nod confirmed in.

"But…how…what?" He asked his brother confused.

"It makes some sense Stefan." Elena answered sitting back on the couch. "Without his memory of Tabitha he had fallen in love with Katherine. Remember what that witch told you in New Orleans?"

"That in order for a vampire to be sired they had to have real feelings for the person who turned them before they became a vampire." Stefan responded, deliberating.

"It's rare but it happens." Elena continued. "He was sired to Katherine. I thought it was odd that something so rare happened twice to Damon, but again with all the pieces it makes sense."

Could it be that simple that Damon was sired to Katherine? It did actually explain a lot, such as Damon's devotion to finding Katherine. Though Stefan was his brother, he wasn't blind. Of all the bad qualities Damon had he had even more good qualities. When given the chance he was kind and courteous, he was devoted and loyal, well read and highly intelligent. And even more so as he'd been told over the past two centuries, very easy on the eyes. Damon could easily have had any woman in the world he wanted, could have fallen in love with any of them and turned them to stay together forever.

He could have turned Tabitha.

"Being sired to Katherine made others being sired to me easier, hence Charlotte and Elena here." Damon said standing up finally, indication the end of this lesson was near.

"It also explains how you got over her so fast." Elena muttered. "Turning your emotions off broke the sire bond, but you still felt something, whether it was real love or just your need to complete what you had started so long ago. She smashed you heart and you just walked away. No matter how hard you tried, I couldn't."

"Yes." Damon said simply, placing his hands behind him standing straight. "And now the time for stories is over and it is time for you to move along. You've wasted enough time with tales and the creature will not be asleep for much longer."

With that Damon walked away from them, his body dimming the further away he got until he faded into nothing. The two vamp sat there in silence for a few minutes, neither wanting to break it. There wasn't any tension between them but Stefan felt all his muscles feel strained. He felt slightly numb except for the large pang of hatred he felt for Katherine. She claimed she loved Stefan but he couldn't deny that there must have been something about Damon that had continually drawn him to her. She seemed to almost go out of her way to torment him at times.

A sniffle at his side broke Stefan's attention from his own mind and over to Elena next to him. No tears were falling now but he could tell by her breathing and red eyes that she was troubled by the story. He couldn't imagine how she felt. He'd never been in her situation. Everyone he's ever loved had always been so much younger than him, been alive at the point of his meeting. They hadn't been alive long enough to have a past.

"Elena-"

"Its fine, Stefan. I'm fine." She sniffled drawing in a breath. "It's not what you think."

Stefan narrowed his eyes at her in contemplation. "Than what is it?" He asked her. She thought for a moment and he watched every tick of her face to see if anything escaped him, but she just shook her head sadly.

"It's just so sad about Tabitha. Damon wanted to start a life with her and Katherine destroyed it. She's been destroying his life since the moment she met him." A sob escaped her. "All Damon has ever wanted was to be loved. He loves with such abandon and passion and people just push him away and treat him like dirt."

"It sounds like if it weren't for Katherine, Damon would have died Elena." He countered

"Don't you think he would have been better off? Don't you think you would have been?"

Stefan sat silently for a moment in thought. Katherine was the inevitable catalyst that threw the two brothers into almost two centuries of blood. Remembering how he felt at that time, wondering and worrying, searching for Damon's name or any news of whether or not he was alive or not. It was the worst time of his life made worse by his father's disinterest about it.

He thought about what it would have been like had Katherine not saved Damon. He was pretty sure one way or another Damon wouldn't have made it home to him. He was in Union territory, and escaped Confederate prisoner who was sick and injured. No his brother wouldn't have made it, and Stefan would have grieved, but it wouldn't have been forever. Times were different when he was human and death was a natural part of it. People got sick and died of the littlest things back then without the lack of medical technology and discoveries. He eventually would have moved on albeit sadly. He would have inherited his father's fortune, married an eligible woman of society. He would become a pillar of the community, someone that the children of Mystic Falls would learn about.

And he would have named his son Damon.

Thinking this way did no good. It didn't solve the task at hand, it didn't dissolve all the years of loneliness and distance between the two brothers. He couldn't answer Elena, knowing what the answer would be and not wanting to admit it even to himself.

Standing up Stefan grabbed the book of memories from the coffee table and held it tightly to his chest as he began to pace around the room, suddenly needing distance from Elena. It amazed him that she was upset not because Damon had obviously been madly in love with someone else, but because he had lost that love. Once again Elena Gilbert amazed him, and once again he couldn't help but know that she was the right person for his brother. Her selflessness, compassion, and endless ability to forgive was exactly what Damon needed.

"You know…" He started clearing his throat and turning back to face her. She stared up at him with rapt attention as thought about the words he wanted to say. "A good friend once told me that you were my epic love."

"Stefan-"

"But the benefit of being a vampire is that we had the chance to have multiple epic loves throughout our lives." He finished, his heart feeling warm as he thought about Lexi.

Elena stood up from her spot than and walked towards him. As she approached he searched her eyes and all he could see was the love and compassion she always had with her. Without a second thought the vampire through her arms around him, holding him tightly and he couldn't help but close his eyes at the familiarity of it. Of the way she felt, of the smell of her shampoo and soap. And strangely, he could even smell a bit of Damon.

"Thank you Stefan." She whispered to him. Elena pulled back and placed a kiss on his cheek lovingly. "I'm not jealous of Tabitha. She was his human life, I am his vampire life." She said simply. "I love Damon, with every beat of my undead heart, but to think that he never had been in love before would just make me stupid." She grabbed the book from his arms with a smile and turned away from him. "And I am anything but."

Stefan felt lighter now, felt good about everything. He felt secure that Elena still loved Damon sure that nothing short of an apocalypse, and maybe not even that considering they've been through several already, will break the bond that those two shared.

"Alright, well. We have two shards down, we have four to go. So let's get this going." Stefan said clapping his hands together.

A/N: See! no cliffhanger! YAY


	20. Chapter 20

A/N: Ok...after much contemplation I made my peace with the finale of TVD. It made sense. It was kinder then making them suffer.

Thank you to these lovely reviewers and those who have read this thing.

 **Wild Columbine, Blue Diamunds, Butttons, AJay 1208, ukarnaj68, cotychan, , Shadowdancer456, Bramon80765xoxo, scarlett2112, Dexter Riley, Emily Marie Salvatore, jairem**

Chapter 20

Without further ado Elena opened the book again as Stefan stepped up behind her. She flipped through the pages, furrowing her brows as she flipped through more than what they had already seen. They had gone through the book three times but it appeared the pages filled with further images and writing as they went along viewing the memory. It was if it were telling a story and each memory was a chapter.

After a moment or two she came to the nearest blank page and the two vampires stared at it, waiting for what to appear to show itself. It was a few beats as an image began to fade in on the page like a photograph that was being slowly developed. The darker it got the clearer it was and both Elena and Stefan knew that this next memory was further down the line, someplace in the early 20th century.

It was of a camp at dawn. The light from the rising sun gently touched the tops of the tents and Elena could swear the smoke from the put out fires were still moving and blowing gently in a breeze. Stefan made a strangled noise and she looked behind her to see his face aghast as he recognized what it was.

"No, why…?" He stuttered as he grabbed the book away from her and peered at the photo as it finished developing.

"What is it?" Elena asked curiously, watching him as his mouth opened and closed several times before taking in a deep breath.

"It's Monterrey." He gasped and a bright light burst from the book engulfing them.

When the bright light disappeared Elena felt goosebumps appear on her skin as a cold breeze hit her and her lungs filled with smoke from the fires surrounding her and she coughed as it stung her lungs. She looked over to Stefan, watching as he held himself tightly and looked around their surroundings warily. Elena wasn't sure exactly what this was but she had heard Damon call his brother the ripper of Monterrey, and she had a bad feeling this was it.

"Oh Stefan." Damon's voice sounded softly near them and the two vampires turned their attentions towards it.

There Damon stood, immaculate as ever in a suit and tie and a gentleman's hat. He walked slowly into the camp, looking around at the destruction around him, crouching down every now and then to check on any of the victims who appeared to be alive. He never tried to save them, just gave them a sad look as he quickly snapped their neck and ended their pain.

The two vampires watched him as he meticulously went through the camp. Elena couldn't help but wrap her arms gently around Stefan as they watched, his body shaking from grief or hatred she didn't know. A soft voice of a child floated to them and Damon in a blink was at her side hushing her with soothing tones.

"Mommy…I want my mommy." The little girl cried out in fear causing a soft sob to escape Stefan. He shook even harder and turned away from her.

"It's ok little one." Damon cooed to the girl and Elena stepped closer as Damon swiped away some hair and blood from the girls forehead. "It'll be alright" He soothed. The little girl stopped crying and began to calm down. For a moment Elena thought he had killed her but the steady beating of her heart and the calm breathing told her the girl was just asleep.

"Is he here?" A female's voice asked from behind him. Damon stayed where he was unmoving, as if expecting the woman to be there as Stefan turned around to face her.

"Oh my god, Lexi." He said taking a few steps closer to his best friend. Elena reached out and placed her hand on his arm before he got too closer to her, remind him that none of this was real, it was all a memory.

"Do you think I would be here if he was" Damon said calmly. He stood up from his crouched position and took off his suit jacket, covering the sleeping girl with it. Elena smiled softly as he took care to tuck the sleeves in around her to ensure she stayed warm.

"Of course not. Heaven forbid you're actually around when you are needed." She sneered and Damon rolled his eyes and turned towards her. He obviously wasn't happy to see her as she stood several feet away in her ankle length pleated maroon dress, matching jacket hugged tightly to her as she crossed her arms over her chest glaring at him.

"As you've pointed out over the years Alexia, Stefan does not need me." He sneered at her.

"Damon…" Stefan started before remembering it would be useless as he looked back and forth frantically between his brother and his best friend. He looked slightly manic and it bothered Elena to see him that way.

"He doesn't need your influence but you could help stop him from doing something like this." She spat back. "Stop him from doing something that will haunt him for the rest of eternity."

"Oh, I see. So, you don't think I'm good enough to be with my brother but still expect me to stop his messes." Damon nodded in false understanding letting a chuckle out as he turned around extending his arms, indicating the destruction around him. "All these people are dead because I wasn't here to stop St. Stefan from savagely ripping them to pieces."

"You made him a ripper!"

"He was born a ripper!" He yelled back at her stepping into her personal space. "The moment Stefan had the first taste of blood, the moment he accidentally killed our father he had been a ripper."

Damon seethed at her, eyes hard for a moment or two before finally turning away from her own hard eyes and went back to checking on the rest of the victims. Neither spoke for several minutes, the only sound in the air being the last dying breaths of the slaughtered and the dying fires that still burned.

"Are you alright Stefan?" Elena asked him and he shakily nodded his head. She didn't believe him for a moment.

"It's…this is the worst moment in my life." He told her dolefully and her heart broke. "I've killed so many, but never this much at one time before, or since."

Elena wrapped her arms around him tightly tucking his face into her neck comfortably. "You're not this person anymore Stefan." She whispered and he nodded his head. They stood like that for a few beats until an annoyed sigh from Lexi brought their attention to her again.

"We have to find him Damon." She gritted out and Damon ignored her. "He could be out there in another camp, another town doing the same thing. He needs help."

"Then help him." Damon replied nonchalantly.

"That's it, you're not going to try?"

"What's the point Lexi?" He breathed hostile. "You've made it perfectly clear over the years that my presence wasn't welcomed in my brother's life."

"Well what do you expect Damon? Look what you did?" She indicated around them.

"I didn't do this. Stefan did this."

"You did this Damon. He was under control then you forced him to drink human blood!"

"I didn't force him to do anything damn it. Despite his appearance Stefan is not a child he is a grown man. By this time he'd be dead of old age. Do not put Stefan's lack of control on me." He flared.

"He was doing fine Damon! Why, why did you come back into his life?" She growled.

Damon snapped the neck of a dying man nearby and let the body drop heavily as he began pacing back and forth. It was something he did when he was enraged and tried to reel in the need to destroy something. Apparently wanting to kill Lexi wasn't a new urge he'd had when returning to Mystic Falls.

Several moments of silence passed between them with Damon pacing and Lexi standing there judging him, glowering at him. Elena couldn't help but feel annoyed by this. If Stefan's best friend was so worried about him, why was she just standing around trying agitate his brother?

"I didn't force him." Damon repeated calmly placing his hands on top of his head. "He's weak on animal blood. I saw an opportunity to help him."

"Stefan can't live on human blood Damon." She growled.

"You don't know that. He just needs to learn control." He said and began pacing again. "Your way of helping him makes him weak, makes him vulnerable. Not just to predators but to instances like this."

"If you recall Damon you are the one who abandoned your brother, not the other way around. You left him in my care, you asked me to help him and I did." She said calmly, primly.

Damon nodded his head in agreement and let out a bitter laugh. "That I did. I did do that." He said. "And I've regretted it ever since."

"It's too late to go back Damon." She said and turned from him.

"I do, appreciate what you had done Lexi." He said, stopping her in her tracks. She paused for a few beats before turning back around, eye narrowed suspiciously. "I was a new vampire too. I couldn't control my emotions and I was angry and upset. I couldn't handle Stefan." He admitted sadly. "I couldn't handle myself."

Lexi gave a wary half smile and tilted her head graciously. It was obvious that regardless she didn't trust Damon, and if Elena was honest, she wouldn't have either in this moment. But Damon didn't seem finished with his speech as he took a few steps forward.

"What I don't appreciate is you keeping Stefan away from me." He growled. Elena looked towards Lexi alarmed slightly at seeing no confusion or sadness, if anything she looked smug.

"You are not good for him." She said simply and Damon growled again.

"You do not get to decide that. He is MY brother. Because of you I hadn't seen him in almost sixty years."

"And trust me if I could have stopped that I would have too." She jeered.

"What is she talking about?" Stefan asked out loud. His shaking had stopped and his attention was fully on the two vampires in front of them. The entire camp and its massacre at his hands seemed to disappear from his mind. Elena shook her head but he didn't see her as he paid attention to his brother and best friend.

"You had no right to keep him from me. I could have helped him sooner, taught him how to control the bloodlust."

"Stefan can't control it Damon, he's a ripper." She sighed irritated. This was obviously an old conversation between the two of them.

"I have more faith in my brother than you do. I believe he could learn to control it." Damon said unflinchingly, fully believing what he saying.

"Yes well, hopefully you won't get a chance to find out." She said slyly. "Stefan is my best friend and I'm not going to let you or anyone hurt him. He's a soft beautiful soul."

Damon let out a chortle and walked away from her towards the little girl who had been sleeping soundly on the ground nearby, the only survivor of Stefan's bloodlust. He crouched down and picked her up from the ground, easily cradling the little one to him. She made a soft groaning sound at being moved but with a soft rocking motion from the vampire she lulled quickly back to sleep.

"I'll let you go and trace Stefan down. Detox him, get him back on that disgusting animal diet. Coddle him in that way that you do." Damon said. "Enjoy the time you can with him because I promise you, someday I will end you."

With that Damon turned away from her and walked down the path out of the camp with the little girl securely in his arms.

The scenery changed then, the fire, smoke and death that had littered the camp ground blurred away until nothing existed except black emptiness. Elena reached out for Stefan in the dark and she felt him hold tightly to her. She felt a sense safety at his presence even though she couldn't see him as she waited for the library to reappear.

They waited in patience for several minutes, neither talking as they waited but the longer the dark remained the more anxious Elena felt. She didn't understand the previous memory as it was and now they were stuck in some kind of in-between. She had expect it to change and follow Damon to what became of the little orphaned girl but nothing appeared.

"Alright you two, it's almost time to go." A male's voice said and florescent lights came on suddenly flooding their surroundings. Elena gasped and took a quick step back as recognition hit her and she felt herself panic.

They were in the basement cellar at Whitmore house where she had been held captive until Wes collected her. It was a place she had hoped to never see again. Though she had only been held there for a few short hours, the knowledge of Damon being held captive for five years there was permanently printed in her mind. She hadn't lied to him when she said she wouldn't judge him for what he did in retaliation. She wasn't happy to hear about what he did to Aaron's family especially while they were together, but she couldn't really fault him. The experience had traumatized him enough that he had turned his emotions off for over twenty years, and the damage he did to others and himself during that time had explained a lot about how Damon reacts and behaves.

She gazed over to Stefan and wondered if he thought the same thing as she did. Did learning his brother's torture help lessen the feelings of hate he had felt during that period of time? Did knowing what had caused his brother distress and break him down mentally at the hands of these people help Stefan to learn to be more understanding with Damon, to read through what self-destruction he would turn to.

By the look of his expression though all she could was sadness and guilt. He hadn't been there for his brother to help him either during or after and his brother had suffered. No matter how much Stefan hated Damon throughout the years, one thing that was clear to everyone was that he loved his brother.

"Up." The man said coming into view. He was dressed nicely in a black suit with a bow-tie as if he were going to a party. They could hear music playing upstairs and voices muted through the concrete upstairs.

Two mutual groans of pain and dismay came from the two locked cells in front of them and Elena immediately zoned in to the one on the left. Damon struggled to sit up, looking weak and disheveled. She wanted to run to him and help him, comfort him. But it was a memory and wouldn't do any good.

"You ready mate?" Enzo said quietly, struggling to stand up. Damon let out a few deep breaths as if he were having trouble breathing as he leaned against the brick wall and attempted the same.

"As ready as I'll ever be." Damon muttered.

Elena blanched as she realized what year this was and she widened her eyes in amazement. Damon had told her that he had been drinking Enzo's ration of blood, but Damon barely looked able to stand let alone escape. How he did it, she had no idea. He looked as if he would collapse any second.

"This could be our only chance Damon. They could either kill us or worse if we fail and are recapture." Enzo said urgently. Damon nodded his head, not replying as the man walked back in with a co-worker and some cuffs.

"Alright, 12144 you first." The man commanded and beckoned Enzo towards the front of the cage. Enzo walked slowly, weakly and then held his hands out in fists as he waited for the other man to place the cuffs on him and the one who had spoken, Dr. Whitmore she presumed injected him with a small amount of vervain.

"I can barely stand is that really necessary?" Enzo drawled, leaning forward against the bars.

"There is no such thing as over precaution when one is working with the devils children." Dr. Whitmore commented, walking to Damon's cell.

"You surprise me Doctor. I would have though a man of your stature wouldn't believe in such things." Enzo commented cheekily.

Dr. Whitmore ignored Enzo's comment and beckoned for Damon to come forward. "21051 come on, we haven't got all night."

Damon glared at the doctor as he got the same treatment as his friend, but didn't say a word to him. Once the cuffs were on and the vervain in his system the doctor looked over his specimen in interest.

"You're awfully silent to night 21051." He commented simply. Damon shrugged his shoulders and turned away from him, not rising to whatever the doctor was baiting at. "Don't you worry 21051. Once the New Year is over and we are back to work I'll get you to talk, or scream."

With that the doctor turned to his companion and the two of them walked away, heading upstairs and back to the party. Elena watched as Damon slumped tiredly against the wall and slid down to the floor. He looked so desolate and Elena could tell that he was just about at his ropes end.

"You alright there mate?" Enzo said softly sliding down on the other side. Elena watched as Damon swallowed hard, struggling with his papery throat.

"As good as I'm going to be." Damon replied.

"You think you can do this Damon?"

"I'm going to try Enzo, I'm going to try. Either way, I think this is the end for me." Damon admitted leaning his head back against the brick wall hard.

"Now you're just being dreary. Cheer up Damon, think positively." Enzo advised. "Think of Stefan."

Elena watched as what moisture was possible began to pool in Damon's eyes, indicating that he was already. She had never seen Damon ready to give up on anything until recently, but this Damon, vervained with his hands in cuffed scared her. This Damon had given up hope, given up everything. The difference was startling to see on the face of the man she loved. His heart was currently broken and he had retreated into himself, giving up. But losing hope entirely, she didn't want to see what that looked like.

"I'm going to do what I can Enzo, I promise." He said. "But I'm not going to let them recapture me."

"What are you saying mate." Enzo asked concerned.

"If I can't escape I'm going to end it. I'm going to do everything in my power to just stop everything."

"Now you're just being dramatic Damon. Pull yourself together." Enzo sighed exasperated. "All you want is to give up and I don't understand why. You have so much on the outside waiting for you."

Damon let out a derisive chuckle. "Not as much as you would think." He disdainfully admitted. "After all it was my family that had put me in this position."

"You're human family many times removed mate." Enzo reminded

"You make it sound as if that should matter."

"It does! I may not have any family Damon but I've spent a long time watching them. The further away the less important they are and you are lucky to have your brother still with you."

Damon sat quietly at that, taking sharp breaths.

"Stefan." He said softly and Elena felt Stefan's body tense as his brother said his name. "He doesn't even know where I am."

A door from upstairs opened allowing the noise from the party to filter down. Both Damon and Enzo stood once again alert, ready as they waited for the group of society members to come down and collect them to ring in the New Year.

"Just promise me something." Damon said urgently, pushing his face through the bars as much as he could to look at his cell mate. "If I can't get out, if something happens-"

"Damon…"

"Please, find Stefan. Don't tell him about any of this but let him know that I'm gone."

"You would give your brother that courtesy?" Enzo said incredulous. "You've spent the last five years cursing his name for not rescuing you yet you're concerned on him knowing that you're dead?"

Damon shrugged and stared straight ahead, straight at Stefan as if he could see his brother standing right in front of him. Elena grasped his hand tightly as the brothers seemed to share an impossible moment.

"Regardless where we are in our lives he's still my little brother. I'd need to know if he was still alive. I'd want to know if he's passed on."

"You'd want to know if he's dead and you're free of him." Enzo completed for him and Damon dropped his eyes from Stefan, breaking the imaginary hold.

"As you've said Enzo, you don't have any family, you can't understand."

With that a group of men entered the cell armed with syringes and other objects to subdue the vampires. They let one out and led them upstairs to a cage that awaited the two before leading the other. Elena and Stefan followed behind them, watching everything with horrified expressions on how these humans treated the vampires.

In the parlor of the house that looked entirely different from when Elena saw it, everything was decorated elegantly with crystal glasses, wine and champagne everywhere. The people were well dressed in expensive suits and dresses, wearing diamonds and pearls to accent their wealth. It was a world that Elena had grew up with in Mystic Falls with their proud heritage and her founding family status.

Though she shouldn't have been surprised it gave her a sick feeling in her stomach to recognize several other founding families milling around drinking and socializing, obviously a contributor to whatever research Dr. Whitmore was doing. Her stomach clinched tightly as Mrs. Marjory Fell, who had been her 4th grade teacher and encouraged her to write her first short story to read at a founders event stepped up to the Doctor and let him slice her hand open before drinking some of Enzo's blood and watching it heal.

The people would walk to the cage and admire their two captives, talking about them and pointing to them as if they were creatures form the zoo. Whenever it got too much for either of them they would bar their fangs and hiss at the humans, earning them a jab from their keepers behind them.

Stefan stood tensely next to her, not even paying attention to the vampires. Instead he was searching each person's face as if memorizing them, and she felt a shiver run down her spine as to why. She chose to ignore him, not wanting any part of his revenge he was most likely planning. It would be fruitless anyhow as Damon most likely already extracted his revenge on them as he had done on the Whitmore's.

"Let us toast in the New Year with a small dose of vampire blood to promote health and success." The surrounding group clapped softly as two men opened the cage and pulled Damon out.

Elena watched then in horror as Damon freed his hand, breaking his thumb and fingers to fit through the cuffs then immediately attacked Dr. Whitmore. As quickly as it happened he dropped the body and sped off to the nearest person and did the same. Chaos ensued as people screamed and ran and a chandelier fell over and the carpet caught on fire.

Damon didn't notice the fire as he went from one person to another, feeding on some while simply killing others until Enzo shouted his name gaining his attention. Damon dropped the body he had drained and came towards the cage, placing his hands on two bars and tried breaking them only to pull away quickly as they burned.

"They put vervain on the bars!" He cursed and tried again. The fire burned brighter and hotter and though it was just a memory Elena could feel the heat of it burning her skin. The two vampires attempted to push and pull the cage bars apart but between the vervain and their weakness from years of starvation they just didn't have the strength.

Elena saw the second the realization hit Damon that he wouldn't be able to save his friend. She saw as he wrestled so many emotions within a few beats as he had to make a decision where neither outcome would be good.

"I'm sorry Enzo." Damon said softly as he took a step away from the bars. Enzo realized right away what was about to happen and he screamed at Damon to fight it and to help him. But Damon closed his eyes tightly for a few beats and when he opened them, his expression slacked and his eyes deadened.

Without another word Damon ignored Enzo's screams as he turned his back to him and walked away. Elena followed him out, stepping through the door as he closed it tightly behind him and calmly walked outside for the first time in five years. He paused at the bottom of the steps and looked up at the moon and closed his eyes breathing the fresh air.

Elena watched him, feeling her heart ache and stomach clinch at how hard that decision was for him. She could see it written all over his face. Damon had wanted to save his friend, he did, and Damon was someone who would die for his friends if need be but this place had broken him down. It had taken any good he still had inside himself for the human race and crushed it.

"I'm sorry Enzo." Damon whispered up to the sky and a single tear rolled down his cheek from the corner and splashed to the ground.

Instead of being absorbed as any tiny drop of water would be the tear began to brighten as it fell and as it hit the green grass below its blinked hotly before changing into a crystal key.

Elena had followed the trek of the tear curiously, wondering how it was possible when his emotions were shut off and she felt relief at it turning into another shard. She looked up to Damon again, to see if he still had that sad look on his face but he was gone and nowhere in sight.

"He's gone. He blurred away." Stefan said as he bent down grabbing the key shard as it glimmered under the moon.

"I take it since we're still here it's over then?" She asked still looking around. The fire in the building kept burning but it didn't get any bigger or out of control and she found it strange that there were no fire trucks around, but as Damon was no longer there she figured it was probably on a loop.

She looked over at Stefan as he rolled the key in his hand and stared off into space with a pensive expression. She could tell the whole thing bothered him. She always knew the whole Augustine thing bothered him. He hated himself for not realizing that his brother was nowhere to be seen for five years. Elena could understand why Damon chose not to tell Stefan about it. Even now, sixty years later Stefan still beats himself up over it.

"No matter what Damon has or hasn't done, nobody deserved this. He didn't deserve this." Stefan said sadly. "These people, don't deserve to live-

"Let it go Stefan." Elena said, stopping him. "It's been sixty years, and those who were to be punished had been so by Damon. Just, let it go." She said tiredly as she crouched on the grass. She reached her hand out to feel the cool moisture upon it but the second her hand touched the nearest blade it changed into the soft red carpeting of the library.

She let out a sigh and stood up to face Stefan again. They stared at each other for a couple of moments before he gave a small nod of his head and approached the vines to place the key shard upon it. Elena fell on the soft couch, laying back and closing her eyes. She was so exhausted. She wondered how long they had been in Damon's mind. It felt like eternity, but they were getting closer. She could feel it in her gut.

Stefan stepped up to her and lifted her legs, placing them upon his lap as he sat down. It was so comfortable and so natural. She felt as if she could just stay in there forever.

And with that last thought, Elena fell asleep.

The End...Just kidding.

A/N: So, I hate Lexi. She's a bitch. *shrugs*


	21. Chapter 21

Its so nice to know I'm not the only one who hated Lexi.

Thank you to:

 **ukarnaj68**  
 **Wild Columbine**  
 **Dexter Riley**  
 **Guest**  
 **Babies Breath**  
 **AJay 1208**  
 **Blue Diamunds**  
 **cotychan**  
 **jairem**  
 **Butttons**  
 **Counting Stars 11**

 **tvdforever**  
 **Bramon80765xoxo**  
 **scarlett2112**

Chapter 21

Stefan stayed awake as Elena slept peacefully. After he was sure she was deeply asleep he got out from under her and a laid her more comfortably onto the sofa and covered her up. He had stood over her for several moments taking her in. He had done it countless times when she was human and they were together. He always marveled at her beauty and her exact likeness to Katherine had fascinated him. But she was human and she had changed, even in the short amount of time since he's been her life.

He could instantly tell the difference between Katherine and Elena now. Elena had lived an extra year as a human and that year had done just enough to change her appearance slightly. Now she looked less like a young girl and more like a young woman. He could see the eyes that were maturing and a small crease that hadn't been before. He marveled at how much a year could change a person and how now she was completely different from Katherine.

He had never seen it on the outside, only the on inside. She was an exact physical copy of the woman he had been compelled to love as a human and only ruined his and Damon's lives as vampires. It had unnerved him many times and if he were honest, sometimes he couldn't even be sure it was Elena and not Katherine pretending to be her.

But Elena was different on the inside, there was no doubt. Katherine was cold and bitter, hardened by centuries of being on the run from the most evil vampire original. She would not blink if she had to use anyone or anything to her advantage. Elena was the complete opposite. No matter what Elena could always find room for forgiveness, for love. She tried hard to always see the best in people and she wanted nothing more than to protect those she loved.

Damon had been the complete opposite of him, as always. To Damon, she had always been Elena, Just Elena. She was his brother's girlfriend, a potential tool to torture him will but somehow she had broken his walls they had become more.

"She's pretty" A child's voice said nearby and Stefan turned around to see a very young version of his brother sitting in a chair and swinging his legs back and forth. He couldn't be more than three years old as he looked over to Stefan and Elena with a grin on his face.

"Yes she is, she's very pretty." Stefan said softly as to not wake her. He gazed at her for another beat or two tucking her in and turning to face the child.

The little boy had Damon's raven black hair and while his feet swung back and forth as he sat on the edge of the large chair, his hands were clapped tightly together in his lap and his back was rod straight. The boy before him looked nothing like his brother. No smirks, no hidden agendas. His eyes were completely open and Stefan could easily read what was in him.

"Are you going to go back into the book?" The young Damon asked excitedly as if it were an adventure. Stefan couldn't help but smile at that. What they were doing was anything but an adventure.

"I will once Elena wakes up from her nap." He replied gently as he moved to sit on the table in front of Damon's chair. The boy looked down on him delighted at the attention. "I don't supposed you have any words of wisdom or hints you'd like to impart on us?"

The boy shook his head and looked around the room as if making sure they were alone. "I'm not supposed to be here." He admitted with a small frown.

"How come?" Stefan asked curiously. The boy shrugged his shoulders and stopped his feet. "I'm starting to feel as if Damon has multiple personalities." He commented with a chuckle.

The boy shook his head again and scooted closer to the edge of the chair. "We are all Damon. It's just…"

Stefan watched the young Damon for a moment, the silence stretching out. "It's just what?" He pressed when the boy didn't speak again.

"It's we all change don't we?" The boy asked softly, suddenly sounding much older than his physicality would suggest. "In our minds, we want to protect what is really us. To protect what innocence is left."

Stefan nodded his head contemplating. It was true he supposed. When he falls off the wagon he always tries to protect what is left of his humanity by seemingly locking it up in his mind, hopefully out of reach. He supposed now he was looking at his brothers attempts and preserving his innocence, his humanity. All the other shadows have all been human.

"Where are you normally?" He pried. But the boy shook his head again and Stefan knew he wouldn't get anything further from him. He may be a child in form but he was still Damon with all his knowledge. He wondered idly for a moment what kind of impact that would have on the child. How a young three year old version of his brother even just a figment can handle all the death and destruction that comes with being a vampire.

But the boy looked unmoved in his environment with the beast so nearby sleeping. He decided to not ask him about it, not wanting to scare or alarm the boy. If he had the knowledge he seemed fine, if he didn't, it wasn't up to Stefan to destroy the innocence that radiated from the boy.

"Do you remember mother?" The boy asked suddenly, startling Stefan from the change. Stefan thought for a moment, his mind instantly going back to the previous memory of his Mother and his sister. He didn't remember much of her. He was young when she died but he did have some memories of her.

"I do a little." He answered pensively.

"She loved you. Just so you know." The young boy said out of the blue as Stefan narrowed his brow. "We've always wanted to tell you that, but Damon, he isn't so good with words." He explained and Stefan gave a sad smile.

"And you are?" He asked his brother.

The boy shrugged his shoulders and let a bright smile show. "I love you too. Damon loves you. No matter what he says, always believe that." Before Stefan could let out a reply the boy slowly vanished from his spot on the chair and in its place lay the book of memories he and Elena had been traveling through. He quickly looked back to the table by Elena where he had left it, but it wasn't there, it had somehow ended up in front of him.

Stefan picked up the book and lightly traced his fingertips across the cover. They had to move on, they had three more shards to find and somehow he knew that time was running out. He stood up and went to wake Elena up but something inside of him made him hesitate. She lay there so peaceful and deep in sleep and waking her didn't feel right. What felt right was going through the next chapter alone.

Stefan took a moment and closed his eyes and followed his senses. His being was telling him to open the book and leave Elena, but his mind knew of how upset she would be if she found he went without him. Decision made, Stefan opened his eyes and sat down in the vacated chair before flipping through to the next empty page.

The page was still and empty for several minutes as he watched and waited, second guessing himself and the decision with each passing second. But just as he was about to close the book and wake Elena his eyes caught that the parchments color was shifty.

He stared down at the page eagerly, watching as the colors flickered and faded in an out as if a fire were behind it. He swore he could smell the wood that Damon preferred in their current time. It was different, treated, less of a fire hazard which suited Damon just fine. Stefan closed his eyes and inhaled, picturing the Boarding house and wishing he were there right now.

Laughter hit his ears suddenly and he opened his eyes quickly, glancing around at his location. He had been transferred to the Boarding House, to Damon's room specifically. The room was warm and comfortable and smelled like cologne and cleanliness, it smelled like Damon.

He turned around as the laughter continued to see his brother and Rose laying on top the large four poster bed talking and laughing, which was strange enough. Add to that to they were both clothed and on top of the covers and Stefan was genuinely confused and moved closer to them.

"I once compelled a group of humans to reenact The Sound of Music in the mid 80's." Damon laughed. "It was a horrible production but the girl who played Maria had this amazing voice. You should have heard it."

"I would have never imagined you as a musical fan Damon Salvatore." Rose teased next to him.

"Oh yeah, I love them all, Sound of Music, My Fair Lady, The Slipper and the Rose." He listed. "I spent the thirties in New York on Broadway. I went to a show almost every night. I met the most fascinating people." He paused for a moment and stared up from the ceiling. "It was the most human I'd ever felt since I've turned."

"And your brother? Where was he?" She inquired turning on her side to face Damon.

Stefan took a few steps closer to the bed and sat down on the end of it near Damon's legs. His brother was silent for a while and Stefan wondered if he had fallen asleep for a moment before he sat up and pulled himself against the headrest.

"I don't know the exact location, but I knew he was somewhere in South Carolina with Lexi." He answered slightly dazed.

"Ah Lexi." Rose let out a fond laugh that Stefan would normally have joined in on. However recent memories of Damon's left too many open questions for him to feel any way towards his best friend.

"I take it you know her?" Damon said darkly. Rose noticing his tone pushed herself up and eyed him curiously as Damon focused on the fire nearby.

"Lexi was a good friend of mine. She tried setting me up with Stefan once."

"No offense but I don't think you and my brother would have been a good match. He's too touchy feely and you're well, you." He sneered. Stefan wanted to admonish him for what he was saying and he looked over at Rose to gage if she was angry or hurt by his brother's words but much to his surprise she just cocked her head to the side curiously.

"By the end of the twenties he was known as the ripper of Monterrey." She pointed out and Damon scowled.

"I know that."

"He's really lucky Damon. Usually when a vampire draws that much attention to us the Originals send someone to deal with it." She said worriedly. Damon stared at her as he processed what she told him. Stefan knew it to be true. Lexi had told him. The reason there weren't many rippers out there was because they were taken out before any real problems could arise.

"Well I guess I'm glad for Lexi getting there then." He said sourly.

Silence descended between them. Stefan could tell by Damon's expression that he was startled by the news and though he hated Lexi he could tell that Damon was grateful for her, at least in that instant. Rose watched him curiously as Damon brought his knees up to his chin.

"You care about him." She said simply. "A lot more than you let on."

Stefan waited for Damon's scoff, for his derisive comment, for some kind of disagreement. But much to his surprise Damon stayed quiet and thoughtful staring into the fire ahead. It was odd and very out of character for Damon and Stefan found himself waiting with bated breath for Damon's retort.

"It was my fault." He said softly and Stefan quirked a brow. "His becoming a ripper. I hadn't spoken to him in sixty years and I was lonely. I missed him."

"It's not your fault Damon. You don't turn someone into a ripper, it's just how they are."

"But it was me who forced him to drink that girl's blood." Damon argued. "Sage had made me feel so, alive again I just wanted my brother to feel it too."

"Ah, Sage. Now she was a good one." Rose smiled and Damon nodded his agreement.

"She was. She changed my life, my world view. I had been living so honest and miserably. I didn't want to kill anyone but it kept happening. By the time I met her I was just going through the motions. Drink, Kill, and move on."

"Trust me, as someone who has been on the run for five centuries I understand that. At least you could go out in the sun." She pointed out and both Stefan and Damon looked down at their hands to their daylight rings. The only good thing that Katherine had left them.

"Stefan just looked so, grey, so tortured." Damon continued dropping his hand. "I was in control now, of my blood lust and I felt I could help him. That I could finally teach him and help him live a somewhat normal immortal life. But then he began drinking that girl's blood, and wouldn't stop. And her head popped off."

Rose's laughter broke through the thick tension of the room and Stefan couldn't stop himself from scowling at her himself. He'd never heard his brother be so open and the fact that she was laughing meant that he would clamor up and end it. However much to his surprise Damon let out a laugh too.

"It was pretty comical, or it would have been if Stefan hadn't freaked out." Damon conceded letting out a breath as the laughter died. "I followed him of course, but I had to discard the body first and he got away. I spent years tracking him."

"Well you got to him anyways didn't you? He's here, as sane as a vampire could be." Rose said sitting up further and crossed her legs leaning on her knees. "You're so lucky to have a brother, to have your brother. Any vampire would give anything to have a family member around."

"I know, but this isn't the life I wanted for him." Damon admitted, peaking Stefan's interest even more. "Everything is just, Katherine fucked our lives over so badly."

"She does that Damon. You're not the only ones. I may have been on the run from Klaus because of her but you do hear things. She's done some very despicable things." Rose agreed. "But I knew her before she was turned, and she was just a scared little girl who had been banished by her family to be sacrificed in the ritual."

"Don't defend her." Damon hissed, the veins protruding under his eyes as he glared at Rose. "She is dishonorable. We had an agreement and she broke it! She was never supposed to turn Stefan. He was supposed to live, and get married, have children, grow old." Damon ranted.

Stefan could feel the anger begin to roll off Damon and he gasped and stepped back off the bed. He knew that his brother couldn't hurt him but still, Damon's temper was not something to mess with. Damon stared at Rose for several long beats before finally crawling off the bed and towards the floor to ceiling windows that was in his room.

"Damon, I'm not defending her. I promise." Rose cooed softly to calm him down. She didn't move from her spot, obviously not as alarmed as most people would be at Damon's outburst, even as Stefan felt power roll from him. Power most couldn't or wouldn't feel until it was too late and Damon had acted.

Damon began to pace back and forth like a caged animal but he began to calm down and the electricity that filled the room dissipated. "I was dying." He said as he stepped up to the bed again and Stefan narrowed his eyes.

"What?" He asked uselessly.

"All the illness and abuse I had suffered over the course of the war had weakened my heart. I didn't know about the healing properties of vampire blood and she didn't tell me, but I knew I was dying."

"You were what?" Stefan shouted closing the distance between his brother and him only to go right through him. "How…could you?"

"Katherine had told me what she was right away and she had offered to turn me. I didn't want it at first but she knew the right words." He told sadly. "She said I'd be able to still be with Stefan for a little while longer. And then I'll be able to watch over him from a distance."

"But she turned him as well?" Rose asked as Stefan stared at his brother.

"I didn't find out until much later. She had been compelling to love her and been feeding him her blood. She had planned to turn both of us all along." He said. "I knew he wouldn't be able to take it. All his suffering, all his misery is because of me. Because I brought her to our lives."

Rose didn't say anything after that, just watched Damon for several minutes before she opened her arms and indicated he join her. Stefan watched as Damon crawled back onto his bed and fell into Roses open arms, closing his eyes and sighing peacefully as she closed them around him and fell to their side. Nothing was said as she gently rubbed his back and caressed his hair and Damon calmed down much to Stefan's amazement.

"So, question…" Rose started breaking the silence. "If you hate Katerina so much, how is it that you're in love with Elena?"

Damon sighed at the sound of her name and relaxed more into Roses' embrace. "She brought me back. She brought Stefan back." He said into her neck. "She is so good and she has so much light that rids the shadows that are always around me. She makes me feel and remember what it's like to be human. What I was like as a human."

"What do you mean?" she asked him

Damon didn't say anything for a while and Stefan thought he had fallen asleep. He took in his brother huddled form and felt his heart ache for him again.

"I wasn't always like this." Damon admitted sitting up. "Neither was Stefan. We were good people Rose. I mean, yeah we had our problems, who doesn't, but we were kind, and we loved and we were loved in returned. We had never hurt anyone. We weren't monsters."

"Most vampires weren't Damon." Rose soothed sitting up as well. "But there comes a time in your immortal life when you have to choose how you want to be. You can be the monster everyone expects or you can live honestly and be decent. Look at Stefan-"

"Oh yes, St. Stefan, the ripper. He's a great example." Damon snorted and Rose gave him an admonished look.

"He's a ripper yes Damon, but when he's in control, he chooses to be a good person. I can tell that when he loses his control it hurts him. It's the guilt the drives the hunger after he's fallen and it just leaves him in despair. Lexi helped him but she's gone now-"

"Thanks to me."

"So now it's entirely up to you to help him. When he's ready, be there for him and help him through this huge roadblock. He'll be stronger for it, and only then will you completely have your brother back."

Damon blinked a few times at Rose before breaking out into a loud laugh that shook his whole body. It was a beautiful sound to Stefan's ears and he wished he could hear it more. It went on for a few minutes until he leaned against the back of the bed again with a smile on his face.

"Look at you Dr. Philing me. And what shall I do about Ms. Gilbert, Doc." He teased and Rose gave a thoughtful look before replying.

"She'll come around Damon. I see you two together, and there's something there." She told him.

"She's with Stefan, or she will be if she's not already. Honestly I can't keep up with these kids anymore." He huffed out and reached for a glass of bourbon that was on the nightstand next to him.

"Stefan is safe. She knows what she's getting into with him and she needs that right now. She's young and human Damon. She's not ready for you." She said cheekily.

"I'm glad you're here Rose." Damon admitted, though Stefan could tell that it hurt him to admit it and he grinned a little. "It can get lonely being the only adult surrounded by a bunch of kids."

"What about Alaric?" Rose asked quirking her brow.

"Alaric is adult by human standards but he's still a kid. I'm about 150 years older than he is. He may feel old but he's young." Damon drank the last of his bourbon and looked over at Rose again. "But I'm really glad you're here."

"Damon, are you here?" Elena's voice floated up.

Stefan watched the two vampires exchange a look before they both crawled off the bed and headed to the door. "Coming Ms. Gilbert." Damon shouted back.

The room stayed the same with the fire dancing behind him as Stefan stood in his brother's room. If he were honest he never really did that, just stood there and looked around. Damon was a private person and Stefan had learned very young not to go snooping around his brother's things. But he couldn't help it now as everything around him started to still.

Stefan walked around the room, experimentally reaching out and touching things, something he hadn't really tried before as it didn't seem possible. He had just gone through his brother not long ago after all. But now with the memory finished and him trapped in it for a moment, everything became more solid and real.

Opening drawers Stefan snooped like he always wanted to, smiling and rolling his eyes at all the hidden alcohol, some experimental drugs, and even Cuban cigars. He searched the nightstands spotting an antique pocket watch and an old floppy disk before moving onto the closet which held not much more, until he spotted the box.

The little wooden box that Elena had been toting around, using as her reason for Damon not really being gone. Though he'd never admit it to her he desperately wanted to know what was in it. What would be so important to Damon that he would lock it away until he was safe and settled before retrieving it again? What was in it that he would want or need near him when at all possible?

The mysterious box intrigued him as he reached out to grab it from its hiding place. With it in his hands he slid his fingertips and palm over it, feeling the wood, almost thinking it was mystical in nature. But it wasn't, it was just a box.

Walking out of the closet Stefan headed for the bed, pausing mid-step at the crystal that now laid in the middle of it. The object hadn't been there before but he wasn't surprised. Things in Damon's mind disappeared and reappeared randomly.

Stefan put his knee on the bed and crawled into the middle of it where the crystal lain and picked it up. It was a light shade of red, not exactly pink though in the shape of a rose. It made Stefan smile. He had no idea what had been happening between Damon and Lexi while he wasn't around but he always loved being friends with her. She was kind, and loyal, and wasn't afraid to tell him the truth regardless of how much it hurt. He could see the same qualities in Rose, and he was glad Damon got to experience what it was like to have a best friend, a confidant, even if it was fleeting. Alaric and Rose were the best things to ever happen to Damon outside of Elena.

With that thought in mind Stefan pushed the box away. Yes he wanted to know what was in it but not while invading his brother's privacy. He hoped that he and his brother would become close again one day and Damon will show him on his own terms. Until then he will respect it.

With an exhausted sigh Stefan fell backwards onto the bed, marveling how comfortable it was as he took a deep breath and inhaled the scent of his brother before closing his eyes. The sound of the fire lulled him peacefully and he felt himself fall asleep almost instantly.

***((***))***

"Damon! Damon where are you?" Stefan called out looking around. He was surrounded by tall grass and couldn't see above it. He could hear his brother moving around him trying to be silent but Stefan knew. He wasn't scared, his brother was near.

Before he could shout again Damon came up behind him and picked him up lifting him high in the air as Stefan screamed and giggled at being tossed around. Damon swung him around a few times before setting him back down on the ground, holding onto his shoulders until he felt steady.

Stefan looked up at Damon grinning wide with his missing front tooth as he shook at the excitement. Their father had gone to the Lockwood's for the day for business and their tutor had let them out of their studies early as to enjoy the first real warm day all spring. Damon had immediately suggested a game of hide and seek to which Stefan readily agreed to.

They had played for hours in the sun until the two brothers felt as if they would collapse from exhaustion. They had retired to sit next to the pond near their property and watch the sunset through the newly blossomed trees. One of the kitchen maids came out carrying a tray with their meal on it, their mother giving them permission to eat supper outside, and the two sat there eating and joking around.

Finally the sun began to set and the warm air began to cool as a breeze came through, sweeping the moisture from the pond and circling around the two.

"I think it's time to get you inside." Damon said standing up and reaching for Stefan's hand. Stefan stared at it for a moment before looked into Damon's blue eyes with his own pleading green ones.

"Just a little while longer Damon, Please." He asked and his brother gave a laugh and sat back down.

"Only a few more minutes. We don't want you catching a cold now." He responded.

Stefan scooted closer to Damon's side and his brother wrapped his arm around him bringing him closer so his warmth would help Stefan. Stefan loved it, loved his brother, loved the time they spent together. He leaned his head into his shoulder and inhaled deeply, loving the scent of soap and cologne and sun that was distinctly Damon.

"Damon, you're the best brother ever." Stefan told him earnestly looking up to his brother. Damon had a small smile on his face but his eyes were distance as he stared out across for the pond. "What's the matter?" He asked and Damon shook his head sadly.

"It's nothing Stefan." He said sadly and Stefan pushed himself further into Damon's side.

"You can tell me Damon, I won't tell I promise." He said as sincerely as possible. And he meant it, every word. He would never betray his brother.

"It's nothing really. Just, the world is so hard. There's so much to be expected of us. I worry every day that I will fail, or worse, succeed." Damon said.

Stefan looked up at him confused, not understanding what his brother was trying to say. He was speaking in riddles that adults would speak in and he wished he could understand. Stefan used to understand his older brother, used to be able to read him, and knew him. But lately Damon seemed to have been drifting away and all Stefan wanted to do was to hold on to him and never let him go.

"I don't understand." Stefan sighed tiredly and Damon let out a soft chuckle.

"You'll understand someday brother. Someday you'll be grown, you'll be a man and you'll understand the ways of how the world works." Damon said.

Stefan thought on that. He didn't want to grow up. He liked being a kid and playing with his brother. "You'll be there right Damon? You won't leave me?" He asked hopefully. Damon finally took his eyes off the distance and looked down at him and Stefan felt as though Damon could see right through him, reading him like a book.

"I can't promise I'll never leave you Stefan. As we grow things happen." He said sadly. "But I can promise that if you ever need me, I'll be there. You can always count on me."

Stefan smiled up brightly at his brother. It wasn't what he was looking for but he'll take it. As long as his brother is there to help, he had no doubt he would be okay.

***((**))***

Stefan smile in his sleep at his memory, instantly remembering the love and comfort of that night. Beside him, Damon leaned his cheek against the top of Stefan's head, humming a soft lullaby their mother once sang to them.

A/N: No Cliffy YAY! I'm not sure how I feel about this chapter. It came out really easily but it seems so chatty. Anyways, there you go.


	22. Chapter 22

A/N: Just as a side note I agree 100% about Stefan. Everyone always brings up what Damon's done and all I can think of is "WTF has Damon done?" excluding this past season of course which in his defense he wasn't in control of. Stefan's the bad brother.

Anyways thank you these people for reviewing. Hope you like this one, its a little dialoguey

 **msblovesdefan**  
 **Guest**  
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 **Wild Columbine**  
 **serenaonthestar**  
 **AJay 1208**  
 **DAWN**  
 **ScarletRose**  
 **jairem**  
 **Butttons**  
 **Bramonxoxo80765**  
 **HalfSquirrel**

 **HeyStardust**

Chapter 22

A cool breeze gently brushed her face as she sat in an antiqued chair on the large balcony. She closed her eyes for a moment, taking a deep breath and inhaling the scene of spring all around her. The sun shone down upon her bare arms giving them a slight tingle as the heat warmed her skin.

"Your tea Miss Gilbert." A woman's voice broke through.

Elena opened her eyes and turned towards the dark skinned woman who was setting up a tea service on the table next to her. Elena cocked her head to the side as she took in the woman's appearance with her long grey and black skirts protected by a starch white apron. She worked quickly and efficiently, fixing a cup of tea into a beautiful teacup and handing it to her.

"Is there anything else you need Miss Gilbert?" She asked, clasping her hands in front of her and looking down to the ground.

All matter of things came to her mind ranging from who was she and offering her to sit. Elena wasn't used to being waited on but from this woman's appearance it was apparently her duty to serve those around her.

"No, thank you…" Elena paused not knowing her name and hoping she would offer it. The girl however didn't and she curtseyed to Elena before quickly slipping away back inside the house.

Elena stared out to the horizon, watching the sun rain down upon trees in the distance, lighting them up. Nearby there was a reflection that she believed to be a lake. There were no buildings in the way, only nature as far as the eye could see.

Taking a sip of the tea that had placed in her hands, she closed her eyes at the taste. It was exactly how she liked it, exactly how her grandmother had made it when she was a little girl. A shudder ran through her body as she took another sip of the hot liquid before opening her eyes again and setting it down on the saucer she held.

"This is one of my favorite view." Damon's voice said next to her and she jumped slightly at his sudden appearance. Elena looked over the table next to her to see Damon sitting there smiling in the sun.

Her heart fluttered as she took him in, his clothes were that of a perfect gentleman from the mid 1850's and he looked completely at ease in them as if they were made to fit only him. Which she realized was probably the truth. With Damon's sudden appearance next to her the whole world had come alive as if waking up from a night's sleep. She could hear children laughing below and the sounds of men working. The smell of smoke filled her lungs from a nearby fire and someplace a woman was humming to herself a lovely tune.

Opening her mouth a few times Elena tried to ask the questions that ran through her mind but no sound would come out. The whole world had seemingly been turned back in time. 'Everything but me' she thought to herself as she looked down at her jean clad legs and shirt.

Was this another memory? The last thing she remembered was closing her eyes on the comfortable couch in the library of Damon's mind. Could she have somehow ended up in a memory? But if that were so then how did that woman know her name?

"Where am I?" She said quietly, more to herself than to Damon, frowning.

"You're in what I consider both heaven and hell." Damon responded as he reached out across the space and grasped her hand in his.

Elena stared at their entwined hands, grasping tightly not wanting to let go. It felt so real. She could actually feel the texture of his skin and the coolness that came from it. "How is it both?" She asked curiously.

Damon sat silently for several beats, the two of them just sitting in a comfortable silence. Elena started feeling drowsy but she forced herself to stay alert. She didn't know what was happening but it seemed important.

"Because you're here." He said simply and she stared.

"I don't understand." Elena admitted and turned her body enough to face him more but not release his hand.

"Mystic Falls, this house, everything here. It's meaningless. All of it." He explained. "Stefan is lost and always had been, so he comes back here year after year trying to find some connection."

"He's a restless soul." Elena said, not in defense of him but as a fact. She knew there was no need to defend Stefan to his brother. Damon knew him completely.

"He was young when we were turned. Too young. He was considered a man at that time but he was still very naive about the world. Father kept him sheltered from life and the war."

"Damon, I don't understand." She said tiredly. Talking to Damon in some respects had always been difficult. He guarded himself well and it had taken her a long time to get past that wall. She was feeling as if she were talking to that Damon she had first known and she felt wary of him regressing.

But none of this could be real. This had to be a dream in her head. She fell asleep and all the running around Damon's memories trying to find shards had seeped into her mind and here she was.

'I would stay here if I could.' She thought to herself and it didn't frighten her because it was the truth.

"Why do I make this heaven and hell Damon?" she asked as the silence stretched, wanting to know the answer.

"You know I worry about you." He said and she sat up from her slumped position.

"Why would you worry about me?" she asked distressed.

Damon didn't answer her as he released her hand and the sky began to darken. Elena looked up to see black angry clouds cover the sun until there was nothing but darkness all around them. She looked over to Damon who still sat in his chair near her but instead of the passive look she expected him to have he had his brows narrowed and staring at her with apprehension.

She opened her mouth to say something but screams below startled her and she looked out over the balcony. She could see men, women, and children running away in fear of their lives only to be stopped by a blur of mass and they fall to the ground dead. The scent of blood rose up from below tickling her nose and she stood up rushed to the side of the balcony looking over.

The grass that was bright green not a few minutes ago was now tainted red as blood from the victims ran poured out of their bodies and to the ground. Elena covered her mouth to stifle and scream of terror at the scene. Lightning hit down on a nearby tree starting a fire that spread quickly along the row of neatly panted trees that lined the property. Everything was in pure chaos as everything brightened as the fire reflected back down from the dark clouds above.

It really was hell.

Hearing the creak of his chair as he got up Elena tore her eyes from the bloodbath below to turn to look at him. He stared at her with wide unblinking eyes as he took a few steps closer to her. It caused a chill to run down her spine and she wanted nothing more than to get out of whatever nightmare she was in.

"How…?" he asked confused stopping a few feet from her.

Once again she opened her mouth to speak but was interrupted by the sobbing sound of girl nearby. Elena looked around, seeing nobody below was alive, nobody could cry. She looked up to Damon, his expression still puzzled but he didn't seem to react to the cries at all.

"Don't you hear that?" She asked him confused. But he gave no response. He stood there staring at her as if she were an alien.

"How are you doing this?" He asked after several moments and she froze.

"Doing what?" Elena responded confused. This whole thing confused her. It had started off so pleasant but now it was nothing more than a nightmare.

Damon reached out for her hand and she gave it to him hesitantly. Pulling a small pocket knife from his jacket he opened it up and slid the blade across her palm, causing her to grimace at the sudden pain. She wanted to pull her hand away from him, to protect it but the way he stared at it, the way his eyes fixated on the pooling blood from the wound that hadn't healed.

It hadn't healed?

Suddenly she was looking just as intently at her bloody palm as Damon as she tried to brush it off with her other hand to see the open cut. It wasn't healing. It was still bleeding profusely.

"Elena…" Damon said again, this time however he wasn't as confused, he actually looked happy.

"It's me Damon. It's me." She said as she closed the distance between them and wrapped her arms tightly around his neck. She couldn't help her own sob at his recognition but the relief was short lived as he quickly pulled her away from his body.

"Why?" He asked "Why are you here?" His eyes pierced through her soul as he waited for her answer.

"We're here to help you Damon." She started but couldn't get anything else out as a loud clap of thunder roared up above them causing her whole being to shake from the vibrations. It was then that she noticed the sobs she had heard only moments before and stopped and somehow she knew the reason was on its way up to them.

"Come back with me Damon. Stefan and I are here. We're trying to get to you." She pleaded but Damon just gave a sad smile and shook his head. "Please Damon."

"I can't." He said softly and looked away from her. "I'm a monster-"

"No you're not Damon." She stopped him.

"How do you know?" He yelled at her and she took a step back in shock. "I gave you all I had. I gave you all of me and you…"

"No. No no no no Damon that wasn't me!" she shouted grimly. "It was Katherine. She passenger inside my body." She tried to explain, but even to her ears it sounded ridiculous.

"Katherine died."

"She's dead now Damon." She said. "Stefan and Caroling figured it out. They stopped her. And now we're here to stop you."

He looked at her quizzically for a moment and her heart ached at the tear that ran from the corner of his eye. She wanted to reach out and wipe it away, to hold him in her arms until he felt safe and loved again. But the angry shake of his head told her to stay away from him.

"I'm no danger to you any more Elena. Just, let me go." He begged. "Please!"

The thunder above clapped again, louder this time shaking the whole house. Bits and pieces of decoration and shingles began to slide off to their feet and the ground below. Wherever they were, it was falling apart and she was afraid of Damon going with it.

"No! I will never let you go!" She shouted angrily. "I know you're hurt and I am the cause of it but you listen here." She closed the gap between them and held his head in her hands so she had his full attention. "Whatever you think you are I know different. I've seen the real Damon. I saw him before any of this and I know what is in your heart and the world is a much darker place without you. So suck it the fuck up because Stefan and I are here to save you."

Elena let out the breath she had been holding during her rant and just stared up to Damon's beautiful blue eyes. She could tell that she had made some kind of impact on him, though which way she didn't know. If she were honest she still felt this was some kind of dream and any moment she'll wake up and it will be all for naught.

Behind them there was a huge clash as objects were broken and a few staggered screams from those who had been able to hide shouted out before becoming permanently silent. Both Elena and Damon looked towards the door that led into the house and waited. She didn't know what was going to come out there for them, and her heart beat hard and fast in her chest. But then Damon grabbed her hand that was beside her and gave it a squeeze, and suddenly she felt the fear lesson.

It came back full force however as the creature tossed a body through the closed glass door, splattering glass everywhere and Elena took a step back watching with wide eyes as the thing came out the door. She gasped in fear as the thing stepped out with ripped clothing and broken shoes, their hair knotted and ragged with dirt and blood. It snarled at the two of them, their fangs showing brightly and stained red and the veins beneath their eyes fluttered.

"Oh my god." She said meeting her own eyes as the creature that was her honed in on her. "Damon…" She started but nothing else came out as fear began to take over. She could still feel the wound on her hand, if the creature killed her, would she really die?

But the creature changed its target and began to advance towards Damon instead and he stood there as if he expected it. Elena tugged on his hand to get him to move but he just stared transfixed on the horrible version that was her. The thing that she feared she would turn out to be, a ripper.

It seemed to calm as it approached Damon as if it recognized him and Damon took a step forward towards it as well. That thing had just killed countless people and now it was advancing on Damon. She wouldn't let him get hurt, even from her. She had just promised to save him and she couldn't chicken out now.

Without any further hesitation Elena stepped in front of Damon, shielding him from the creatures view. It growled angrily at her and bared its teeth hissing and Elena felt her heart stop in fear. But she wasn't going to give in. She wasn't going to leave Damon to face his demons alone, not anymore.

The creature came up right close to her and she could smell its bloodied breath upon her face. She felt her stomach roll and recoil at the scent and she took a step back again forcing Damon against the railing of the balcony.

"Elena…" He whispered behind her, leaning into her ear. "I'm trusting you."

Her head whipped around quickly at that sentiment and couldn't stop the flutter in her heart as she smiled at him. She wanted to grab his face again and kiss him until he's safe from everything but she didn't get a chance as Damon pushed her behind him and over the balcony with her screaming his name as she went down.

***((***))***

Elena felt like she was falling to the ground from that balcony with Damon for hours. She knew it had only been seconds but the fear still roared through her like a fire. She had closed her eyes as she went down, afraid to open them, not wanting to see what happened next. But as she kept waiting, nothing happened. The sounds around her, the screaming, the fire, the creature and Damon all dulled to the background only to be replaced by a constant repetitive sound like a purr. It was soothing and calming and she didn't want to open her eyes and break the illusion.

"So what are you going to do about Stefan?" Damon's voice asked and Elena sat up immediately, bumping her head on something above her.

Opening her eyes she saw the background moving outside of windows and turned towards the voices, startling slightly to see Damon driving down a dark highway and Elena herself sitting calmly next to him.

"I don't know. He lied to me." Her counterpart said. Damon nodded his head as in agreement for a moment before lifting his finger up to share an idea.

"Did he though?" he asked. It sounded like he was teasing her but she remembered this ride, and knew he was being serious.

"What do you mean Damon? He lied to me. I look exactly like her, exactly like Katherine. I'm the identical twin to his vampire ex-girlfriend."

"Our ex-girlfriend Elena. Remember I was with her too you know." He purred and her counterpart shuddered.

"I try not to think about It." she told him and looked out the window.

"If you want to be nitpicky then that means I lied to you too." He said and she looked over to him. "I knew, obviously. I knew along that you did and I didn't say a word."

"You also didn't proclaim to love me and then sleep with me." She huffed and Elena could see from the back seat the small smile on the side of Damon face.

"Well he did get to you first." He defended.

"Has that stopped you before?" She asked and he gave her a look. "Thought so."

They drove in silence for several moments as Elena observed the both of them. She remembered it was a good trip. She normally hated long drives, there was nothing to do, but sitting in that car with Damon on the way back from Georgia felt good, felt right.

She had started that trip upset over what Stefan had done and horrified to find her traveling companion was Damon. She was put off by his act of kindness especially as he continued to be himself the whole time, but she was able to see something there in him. It was that trip to Georgia that she got to see behind the façade that was Damon Salvatore, evil brother, and to see Damon Salvatore himself.

She had waited the whole time for it turn on her, for him to turn on her. For Damon to turn into the image of Damon that he's proven to be and what Stefan had built up and somehow torture and hurt her. But he hadn't. He talked to her, like an adult not a child, he treated her with respect, bought her dinner and looked after her in a bar full of guys who knew wanted her because of her age.

He hadn't been anything what she expected.

"I don't think he intentionally lied to you." Damon said. It almost went unheard over the sound of the road and the engine but Elena had heard him then as she did now.

"Are you seriously defending him?" Elena had said venomously and Damon held his hand up in peace.

"I'm just saying, perhaps you should hear his excuses before you make a final judgement." He said.

Elena had sat in the front seat of the car with her arms crossed over her chest. She remembered she was pissed off that Damon was defending Stefan. She didn't understand. And it was that moment that had made her pause in her anger.

That time, that moment was the perfect time for Damon to poison her mind against his brother. The feud between them had gone on for centuries and now was Damon's chance. But instead of painting a picture of Stefan being a liar and a manipulator, he had in fact tried to defend him. Even if it was only for a second.

"Tell me something about yourself." Elena had said suddenly, breaking the silence. Damon peered over at her for a second before his normal smirk appeared.

"Well, I'm really great in bed-"

"Something real." She said stopping him and rolling her eyes. He gave her another sideways glance and raised an eyebrow at her. "Ok something real that you don't believe you've conned the world into thinking." She amended.

Damon had gone silent then and the past Elena had stared out the window thinking he wasn't going to answer. But current Elena took that moment to fully study him, and it surprised her at how much she can now read from him. Before his distant silent expression would indicate that he wasn't going to give in. That he was going to say some lie, something Damon.

But Elena had spent a lot of time with him since this moment. She had spent countless hours and days watching him, talking to him, learning to speak his language so she could reach out to him. And now it was paying off. She could tell he wasn't as impassive as he had seemed back then. She could see the wheels in his head turning as he fought against himself. She can tell now that he wanted to reach out to her but he was afraid.

She's rarely ever seen Damon scared.

"I like to read." He said simply and Elena stared at him like he had two heads.

It was incredulous that that was what he choose to tell her and she remember she was angry that he had given her nothing, but then it dawned on her. It was something true. It was also something that she never associated with Damon before. For some reason his bad ass evil brother façade always made him so different from Stefan whom she knew loved to read and write. She never would have associated it with his brother though.

"What do you like to read?" She asked him and he thought some more.

"I like to read everything." He said after a few beats and she gave him a small smile. "When you have forever to live, sometimes keeping up with the world is hard. Just because you live through it, doesn't make you from there, you're still an outsider. And you will be for all of eternity."

"That sounds very lonely." She commented. She had felt her heart go out to him then, understanding how lonely he must have felt all these years.

"It is." He replied. "But books, reading, it's all magical. It's the realest magic there is."

"And how is that?" She asked him genuinely curious.

"Because anyone could do it. Anyone can learn." He answered passionately. "The ability to read is the greatest skill any human has. It teaches you, answers your questions, makes you think of new ones and takes you on adventures all over the earth and beyond."

"Wow." Elena chuckled. "I never would have thought of you of such an avid reader."

Damon looked over to her with a soft sad smile of his own, biting his bottom lip for a second thinking on his next words. "With books you aren't so alone Elena. Find the right books and you have your kindred spirits. Amongst the adventures you find that you aren't alone in your thoughts and feelings, that someone someplace at some time thought and felt the same as you, and suddenly you're not alone, you're not weird, just different."

Elena watched herself nod at his statement and turn back to the window. Damon continued to gaze at her looking worried that he had given too much of himself away. Elena wished she would have told him then that she agreed with him. With all of it. It was the same reason she loved to read. It made her feel more normal than living her own life did.

The rest of the ride had been in silence between the two. Eventually they pulled up to the boarding house and Elena continued to sit in her spot and stare up at the big house as Damon watched her. She remembered feeling his eyes on her and the shudder down her spine but she had ignored it.

"Let him explain before doing something rash." Damon said softly. "You never know, there might be a good reason."

"And what good reason would there be to lie to me about this?" She scowled and grabbed her purse getting ready to leave but hesitated waiting for a response. But Damon just shrugged his shoulders.

Elena's counterpart gave one last glance before opening the car door and exiting it, heading for the house. Damon watched her until she was safely inside before slouching in the driver's seat, resting his head on the back.

Elena crawled to the front seat that her past self had just vacated and settled in, curling up on herself as she watched him. Damon stared out ahead of him, his mask coming down completely and she regretted she hadn't said more to him at that time.

"You're right you know." She told him, though she knew he couldn't hear her. She wasn't really there. This was just a memory. "Books allow us to get lost inside another world and pretend we don't exist for a little while."

Damon sighed next to her and opened the door getting out as Elena watched him. She wanted to follow him but she felt she should stay there. She wanted to stay there a bit longer remembering the moment he had opened up to her for the first time. She regretted that she didn't appreciate the moment as much as she should have and it made her wonder what other moments with others she had missed on.

Closing her eyes Elena leaned her head against the back of the seat, inhaling the old leather that she had become familiar with over the past few years. "Sometimes, you find your kindred spirit outside of books too." She said to herself.

Elena wiped the tears away from her eyes and opened them, expecting to be transported someplace else but instead she sat in the car still. She took a few more deep breaths, memorizing the scent of Damon when a slight glint caught her eyes in the dark.

Looking down at the seat Damon had just vacated lay a crystal feather. Reaching out she picked it up carefully, taking in the beauty of the shard, feeling her heart constrict in happiness that she had one. That Damon had given her something so precious. Holding it close to her chest she let the sobs really come, not holding them back. Her body racked with them as she tried to calm her breathing and get under control but it wasn't possible.

Everything was just starting to be too much for her and she was just tired, and lost. All she wanted was Damon to come back to her and hold her in his arms. She had never felt as safe as she had when she was with Damon. No matter what was going on if Damon was there with her she knew they would come out of it alright on the other side.

"Please come back to me Damon." She pleaded to the empty space.

Elena blinked several times as the tears stung her eyes before placing both hands over them and holding them there for a second before wiping the moisture. When she lowered her hands she was back in the library, still on the red couch with Stefan sitting despondently on the one across from her holding a shard as well.

They were almost there.


	23. Chapter 23

**A/N: So I just wrote this and I have 5 minutes to post it so here is my blanket thank you to everyone who reviewed! I love when you do it it encourages me to write more.**

 **As for updates. There probably wont be another one till mid June. I work in horse racing and its triple crown season. Feel free to google that if you're curious. Otherwise, feel free to follow me on twitter cause I sometimes post when I'm trying to write but get distracted.**

Chapter 23

Stefan heard Elena sit up and gasp suddenly from her deep sleep but he didn't react. He had just woken up himself and he felt disoriented. He couldn't tell or remember if the last vision was a memory or just a creation he did himself. Either way it affected him.

Looking down at the rose shaped shard in his hand, he clutched it tightly as if he was afraid it would disappear. This whole journey had been about getting Damon back to himself, to discover the secrets his brother had held inside of himself for over 170 years. And while they had indeed been discovering those, what Stefan was learning the most was how deeply Damon had been involved in his life even as he didn't know it. That knowledge bothered him more than he cared to admit. He had hated Damon for so long, thought him evil, and believed everything good that had been his brother had long been destroyed.

It was the total opposite.

Up until the 60's, Stefan had been the monster, not Damon. He realized this, he had always known this. His brother tormented him over the years but thinking back he can't even think of a time before the 60's where Damon killed indiscriminately. Stefan had always been that vampire, the one that people were afraid of. His lust for blood and inability to control it had made him the creature that he had always accused Damon of being.

"Stefan." Elena called out quietly to him. He took a deep breath before turning to face her, not reacting to the visible redness of her eyes from tears. She held up a shard in the shape of a feather for him to see and he nodded his head, showing his rose. "Is that, I mean...?"

"No." He replied softly. "Rose. It's from Rose." With that he stood up slowly from the couch and approached the vines, ignoring their shaking and vibration as he came nearer. He placed the rose in one of the final three crevices without emotion, watching as it grabbed ahold of it.

Elena stood behind him, and he turned his head slightly to meet her eyes before stepping away and allowing her to repeat the process. She let out a sigh as she watched the process and Stefan wanted to wrap her tightly in his arms as the tears began to fall from her eyes once more. He resisted though and turned away from her, heading back towards the book of memories.

He picked up the book, holding it to his chest. It felt heavier than it had before and he wondered if it was just his strength waning or if the memories in the book were making it more real. That it was carrying the weight of them within the pages as if they were real.

"What's the feather from?" He asked Elena when she stepped up to him and she wiped a stray tear from her cheek.

"It's from me, from our trip to Georgia." She told him, not meeting his eye for once. She seemed slightly uncomfortable in telling him and he wondered why. "I'm not quite sure why a feather but it was there."

"I makes sense." Stefan said sitting back down and placing the book in his lap. "A feather represents many things. Truth, wisdom, spirituality, gratefulness. All things Damon has found in you."

"I don't understand how he saw all that in me. I was so horrible to him at the beginning, we both were. And yet…"

"And yet he came to your aid at the side of an abandoned road." Stefan stated, looking down.

"He did." She said woefully.

Silence stretched between the two of them as Stefan thought of that day. He had tried getting ahold of Elena since she had fled the night before, and Damon answering her phone had caused his heart to freeze in fear. All manner of things had flashed through his mind on what had happened, why she was with him. It wasn't until after when he was able to speak to Elena did he realize she was in no danger at all. It was the first time that Stefan had realized that Elena, while human and a carbon copy of the woman who destroyed him and Damon, could actually take care of herself.

"He defended you." She told him, breaking his own reverie. "I was so mad, but he told me to give you a chance. That there could be a logical reason for you not telling me."

"I just…can't believe that." Stefan said thoughtfully as Elena's sad expression quickly turned to one of anger.

"And why not? Even now after all you've seen you still doubt Damon's sincerity?" She bit out. But Stefan shook his head and reached out the grab her hand.

"That's not what I mean Elena." He soothed. "It's just, how could I have been so wrong about him?"

Elena apparently had no words of comfort or wisdom for him as they sat there. He hated himself for how he's treated Damon, but he was glad that he had been there that night for Elena. And while he had been unreasonably jealous of their friendship, he couldn't deny the relief he had always felt in his heart knowing that she would be safe as long as Damon was around.

"Well, we only have one more to go, who do you think it will be?" Elena asked changing the subject.

"I don't know." He shrugged.

"I swear to god if it's Katherine…"

Stefan let out a loud laugh, he couldn't help it. The expression on her face and the absurdity of the possibility with all his exhaustion just amused him. "I think it's safe to say it won't be Katherine." He said and he opened the book.

He flipped through the pages, one at a time admiring the art work and photography that had filled the pages as they had gone in. It amazed him by the amount of pages that had been filled compared to the few times they had entered the book, but Stefan supposed it had been creating more as they watched the images.

"I wish we could keep this book." Stefan said idly, pausing for a second at an image of him and Damon on the bank of a pond. He furrowed his brow, remembering his dream and for a moment he swore he could feel the warmth of Damon's body and the clean earthy scent of him as he held Stefan surrounding him once more.

Elena nodded in agreement but didn't say a word as an image of a balcony appeared on a page. Stefan studied it for a moment, able to see the fire down below, slightly yellow and read as if it were burning on the page. A quick glance at Elena, the sad look on her face paused him from asking any questions about it and instead just continued on to next blank page.

The page remained blank for a few beats before glowing a bright white light for a split second before going dark again, leaving behind on the page a picture that could have been taken yesterday of Alaric and Damon sitting side by side on the floor of what could only be the Salvatore basement.

Stefan felt his heart beat an extra second as their world dissolved around them, leaving both he and Elena in the familiar cellar.

"You know, you should probably chain me up or, you know, sit over there." Rick stated to Damon who sat next really closely next to the human.

"Am I invading your personal space again?" Damon asked mildly as he fiddled with a bottle of bourbon.

"Well, yes, but more to the point, the other me could come out at any point and kill you."

"Aww, you're worried about me. How sweet."

"I think it's more like I think Elena would kill me if I did but whatever you need to tell yourself buddy."

Damon laughed heartily at his comment and opened the bottle of Bourbon he had been holding. He took a drink from the bottle, his eyes closing for a moment in pleasure before opening them and handing it to Rick who took it without hesitation and took a drink.

"Holy shit, that's amazing." He commented as he took another drink and handed it back to Damon.

"It better be. It's worth almost $50,000 a bottle." Damon replied with a huge grin on his face at the astonished reaction from his friend.

"You're sharing a 50k bottle of bourbon?" He asked suspiciously. "What did you do Damon?"

"Why do I have to do something bad to share a good bourbon with my buddy?" Damon exclaimed offended by Rick's accusation. Rick responded by shaking his head and rolling his eyes, obviously not believing Damon's innocent act. "When do I ever feed you bad bourbon?"

"I will admit never-"

"See!"

"But I'm pretty sure you that you don't drink the good stuff every day."

Damon shrugged, taking another chug and handed the bottle back to Rick. "You humans."

Rick snorted into the bottle practically choking on the liquid at Damon's comment, obviously not expecting it. Stefan couldn't disagree with him. Damon has always been verbose, much to their father's dismay.

"Is that all you have to say? 'You humans'? What does that even mean?" Rick asked him. He looked tired and it was obvious the bourbon was starting to slow him down. Damon didn't answer for a few minutes, just stared off into space where Stefan stood watching with Elena next to him. It was almost as if his brother could see him.

"It's something Rose said." He finally replied in a quiet murmur.

Rick furrowed his brow in thought as he tried to remember who Rose was. He couldn't remember her exactly, just the name. "The vampire that kidnapped Elena?" He asked in clarification.

Damon grabbed the bottle back, chugging for a second before lowering it from his lips. "Yeah." he said. "Whenever Elena would ask a silly question about the supernatural, Rose would tut and say "You humans."

"What does that even mean? I feel I should be insulted." Rick commented, causing Damon to chuckle again.

"It just means I suppose that humans have such a limited view on things."

"Yeah…totally not feeling any less insulted." Rick snorted. "You do know that you are human too right?"

Stefan expected Damon to give a growl of irritation or incredulous but instead he just gave a sad smile that confused Stefan. His brother loved being a vampire, he thrived on it. Any comment about being human would be the greatest insult to Damon as it implied he was weak and vulnerable. Two things Damon had never been even as an actual human.

"My comment still stands, 'you humans." Was Damon's reply.

"Ok buddy, why don't you explain it to me. As a human I'm obviously missing something." Rick suggested curiously.

Stefan chuckled himself and moved over to the side of the room where a pile of rocks were and sat down. His brother's friendship with his history teacher had always baffled and interested him. He would be lying if he said he wasn't jealous of the teacher for the way he easily conversed with Damon. It was a friendship that nobody had really expected and had peaked everyone's curiosity. How could a human, whose original purpose was to kill Damon, somehow become the vampire's best friend? It baffled everybody involved.

"It's nothing to be insulted about Rick, chill."

"Well no, no let's go over this. You say we have a limited view on things, like what? Supernatural stuff? Cause I'm pretty sure I'm very open minded about it." Rick pointed out, scooting down further against the wall.

"You know, considering you can die any second or be taken over by an evil personality isn't there something more interesting we can talk about?" Damon sighed taking another drink, but Rick shook his head and grabbed the bottle.

"Nope. If I have to go out, I'd rather go out while having an intellectual conversation. So speak." He drank a good chunk of the bottle as he waited for Damon to say something. It took a few beats before Damon gave an annoyed sigh and gave in.

"It's exactly what I said. As a human, you only see things in your span. Like this bottle of bourbon." He stated taking it back and lifting it to their eye level. "You see this bottle of bourbon that I tell you worth almost $50,000. Its 75 years old. What do you think with that information?"

Stefan watched as Rick took in the information Damon had given him. It was fascinating to actually see the wheels in his genius mind go as he thought of Damon's words. He could see why the two of them got along. They were both thinkers who enjoyed challenges.

"I think that you're crazy for drinking it especially at this point where we're just sitting in the basement waiting for my evil alternate to come out and try to kill everyone."

"Exactly." Damon stated simply and took another drink.

"Exactly what?"

"That's exactly what you'd think."

"Of course it is, I just told you that." Rick said frustrated but paused and took a deep breath. "Ok, how about you tell me what you think then and we can compare notes."

"All I see, is a bottle of bourbon." Damon said simply. Rick furrowed his brow at his friend and turned his body a bit to see him fully.

"Please expand your idea." He said, crossing his legs and leaning on his knees, chin in hands as he watched Damon eagerly, clearly enjoying the conversation.

"While the children consider you old Rick the fact is you are very young." Damon started. "75 years and $50,000 is a lot of time and a lot of money. It's unfathomable for you to imagine. Your mind is restricted to the parameters of your human time."

"But you're not." Rick stated simply, starting to understand.

Damon shook his head sadly and Stefan cocked his head curiously.

"When you're faced with immortality your view changes. I was around when this bottle of bourbon was made. I invested in the company which is why I have so much."

"Wait, you invested in a liquor company? How could you not tell me that?" Rick said incredulously and Damon just rolled his eyes.

"I've invested in a lot of things that's not the point. The point is. I was there. I have cases upon cases of very expensive bourbon at my disposal because I was there. Drinking this bottle, to you is the best liquid you'll ever taste and would go broke to purchase. In another 75 years, the bourbon made this year will be worth just as much if not more than what this one bottle cost."

The two men sat in silence as Damon finished his explanation. Stefan could tell that Rick was thinking hard on his friend's words and trying to put them into some kind of perspective. It was a truth that Stefan had struggled with himself, something that one never really got used to. He looked over at Elena and saw her with the same perplexed look on her face as Rick did and Stefan realized that she hadn't put much thought into it either.

Though in her defense, it's not like they've had much time for sitting around and thinking.

"I think I prefer my way of thinking better." Rick finally said after a while. "It makes it less sad."

"Yeah well, I may not have to worry about it soon if we can't figure out who sired our bloodline."

"If there's a pool going I'll put $100 on Klaus."

"I'd counter that but knowing our luck it will be him." Damon sighed. "In any case we'll find out soon. Elena is going to Colorado tomorrow to speak to a certain ghost seeing brother or hers."

"Is Stefan going with her?" Rick asked slightly stoic, watching Damon's expression. Damon didn't give anything away however and just shrugged.

"It would be good for them, you know, stuck in a plane for eight hours and not to mention being there and coming back. Who knows what will happen. They may just patch everything up and everything will be back to Stelena again." Damon gave a sideway grin to his friend before dropping it to gulp more of the bourbon down.

Stefan watch as Rick took in Damon's demeanor, noticing the concern and worry for his friend. It was the same look Elena go whenever Damon started acting self-destructive. It had baffled him at first, first seeing it after the Georgia trip. She stopped glaring at him, stopped watching him as warily as Stefan did with mistrust and apprehension. Instead it was quiet and soft and sad, worry etching into her soft frown lines.

"Do you think it's wise to leave her alone with Stefan so far away where there is no help?" Rick inquired. Damon was still unconcerned.

"Stefan's emotions maybe in a weird place right now but I know he won't hurt Elena."

"How do you know?"

Damon shrugged. "I just do."

Rick gave a loud sigh and reached for the bottle again, staring at the little bit that was left before bringing it to his lips and finishing it off. "You have far more faith in him than he deserves."

Damon smiled again. "Well, he's my little brother. I will never lose faith in him."

"You should, he's a bigger monster than you. How that keeps escaping peoples minds is way behind me."

Stefan frowned at that comment, surprised to hear it. He always knew he was but he had never heard anyone ever admit it out loud before. Despite the truth it still hurt to hear, and he wondered idly if this is what Damon felt every time someone call him a monster.

"It all comes back to perspective." Damon said. "You see a vampire from the 19th century masquerading as a teenager, getting involved in their lives, putting them in danger while he is the most dangerous thing they encounter. Turning off his emotions and killing without remorse"

"And there's a different way to look at that?" Rick asked incredulously and Stefan began to feel ill afraid of Damon's response. However Damon just gave another soft smile to his friend.

"I see a man trapped in a kid's body for all eternity whose life ended tragically leaving him unable to cope with the monster he became." Damon told him. "It would have been kinder if Katherine would have just let him die."

"You don't honestly mean that Damon. He's your brother."

"Oh I mean it." He stated firmly. "She should have let us both die. As arrogant as she is Sabrina is right, we are unnatural.

"Well, I'm glad you didn't die. Otherwise I wouldn't have gotten to use you for great bourbon all these years." Rick laughed patting Damon on the shoulder as his friend glared at him. "Speaking of bourbon, what's the deal on bathroom breaks cause, I gotta tell you it was really great but I don't think I'm gonna last long."

Damon huffed and rolled his eyes once more before easily getting up off the floor and dusted his backside off. "Come on. If you're good I'll close my eyes."

With that the two of them left the cellar leaving Stefan and Elena alone staring at the door. Everything around them seemed to still as the memory ended but the two remained still. Stefan glanced over at Elena who watched him steadily, causing a shiver to run down his spine.

"Well that was…" He started but no words came out. He didn't know how to break the tension that was building in the room.

Luckily though Elena broke it first turning her eyes from him and following over to where the two friends had just sat. There in the empty space was a crystal shard in the shape of a bottle. Elena laughed as she bent over and picked it up, shaking her head at it. Stefan couldn't think of anything else that would be more appropriate to represent their friendship.

Stefan stood up then and took a step but stopped from moving any further as the basement disintegrated around them and placing them back into the library.

***((***))***

Neither one of them said anything as Elena held tightly to the last shard as if it were a lifeline, and in some ways it was. It was the last piece needed to get past those vines and into the door that was hiding Damon.

She stood there next to Stefan, afraid to breath or move or anything. They were so close now that Elena feared that one wrong step and everything would fall apart and Damon would be lost forever. She couldn't allow that. Damon had whispered to her that he was trusting her before throwing her over that balcony away from that evil version of herself. He had tossed her right to the next shard as if he were wanting her to find it.

Stefan was the first to break the calm, closing the book that had ended up in his hands again. She looked down at it, it seemed bigger somehow, fuller. It was if their journey through it had filled its pages making it more of a book and less like a blank journal.

Damon never kept journals, it was his brother's thing he had said. But the book in Stefan's hand was like a journal. It contained the same things as hers would. Memories, images, sadness, happiness, everything.

A slow clap behind them caused the two vampires to jump and turn towards it. There standing tall was Damon. Or it looked like Damon. As she scrutinized his appearance she could see the subtle difference between the two. Her Damon was a master of stillness and could stand like a statue while the apparition before her moved minutely. The man before her seemed more alive than her's did, more tan, more natural.

"You're alive." She said aloud before she could stop herself. She covered her mouth with her empty hand and thankful she was a vampire so that the blush she felt in her cheeks wouldn't rise. The man before her gave a kind laugh as he came forward towards them.

She took in his appearance, he was in the same trend of clothes as all the other apparitions did. Stylish and prim, wearing the finest threads available. He looked very handsome.

"I wouldn't go that far Ms. Gilbert." He teased gently and her heart beat wildly. "I am probably the last version of Damon that had existed before he died."

"He didn't die." She said abruptly. "He's alive."

"He's a vampire."

"He's alive." She argued and the man before her stopped. She expected him to say more, expected some sarcastic comment or mockery to come from him, but there was nothing. He stood there ram rod straight with his arms held behind his back and gave a slight nod of acquiescence to her. She didn't quite understand.

"I do not wish to dispute you Ms. Gilbert." He simply said.

"Are you here to congratulate us on our victory or do you have some new riddle to tell us?" Stefan asked him clearly uncomfortable with this apparition's presence.

"I am simply here to observe." He said and sat down in the vacant chair near him. "You have found the last shard."

"Any words of wisdom before we finish this?" Stefan asked him and Damon shook his head.

With one last glance at towards Stefan, Elena gave a slight nod of her head before turning her back to the two of them. She walked slowly towards the vines as they shook and vibrated so hard she though the leaves ought to fall off just from their movement. There in the previous five crevices sat tightly the other five shards of Damon's heart, pieces he has given away.

As she approached the vines her eyes were drawn to each of the other shards, her mind going back to each and every memory that had brought them forth. The apple from his dead sister's tree, a cameo from the woman Damon had fallen in love with and was to marry as a human. The key from his capture with Enzo, a Rose for the vampire that had touched Damon's heart and the feather from her trip to Georgia.

All that was left was to place the last shard in the shape of a bottle into the last spot and hopefully the whole thing will be over. But she was scared as well. Scared that they could be too late, scared that he won't want to be saved, scared that he won't be Damon anymore. If they didn't succeed Elena knew without a doubt that Stefan would carry out his promise and give Damon peace so the chance of them failing scared her more than anything in her life.

"Elena." Stefan's voice said behind her and she turned her head to see him. She could see the fear and hesitancy in his own eyes and she felt strangely better knowing that she wasn't alone. "Let's end this."

With that she gave a slight nod before turning back to the vines, and without any further hesitation, she placed the final shard in the empty crevice.

The reaction was immediate. The moment the shard touched the crevice the leaves burned a bright red filling the room with visions of blood as the light behind them seemed to fight to get free. She backed up quickly to stand next to Stefan as she watched as each crevice retreated within the vines one by one.

The light behind the vines got brighter and brighter until Elena felt as if her eye sockets were burning and had to close her eyes. Even then it wasn't enough as it burned brighter and hotter. She covered her face with her hands breathing heavily as she felt tears begin to well her eyes.

As quickly as it all started however it ended abruptly and as soon as the heat from the light dissipated, Elena was too afraid to lower her hands. It was the moment of truth now. It had to be over. What would be there when she finally opened her eyes? Would it be Damon, would it be a door? Would they be on the outside?

"What is this?" Stefan's angry voice startled her as the silence was broken. She looked up quickly to see Stefan's face contorted in anger as he stared at Damon in the chair nearby. He didn't seem to have been fazed at all by what had just happened as he sat there casually.

"Stefan…"

"What is this?" He shouted again at Damon.

Confused she approached the door where Stefan stood and looked at it. It was a painted a pure white and was obviously made from the best wood available. She reached down to the knob, grasping it tightly and turned.

Nothing happened. The door was locked.

"It seems you have one last piece to get." Damon stated calmly and Elena felt her heart drop.

Stefan angrily reached out for the book and opened it up, flipping through the pages to the end. She watched him in anticipation and worry. They were so close she knew it. She could practically feel her Damon on the other side of the door. She thought about just breaking it down and tried tugging hard and shaking the door, but it didn't budge.

"There are no pages left. They're filled." Stefan exclaimed dropping the book onto the couch.

"You don't need a book Stefan." Damon told him softly. Elena watched the two brothers stare at each other for several minutes until Stefan gave a sigh of exasperation.

"I don't understand." He admitted. "How do I get my brother back?"

Damon stared at the both of them, eyes flickering back and forth and Elena believed for a second that he wouldn't answer them. But then he stood up from his chair and approached Stefan, placing both hands onto his shoulder.

"I had lost something, a long time ago." Damon said. "It hurt too much and I couldn't keep it. So I gave it to someone to keep safe, and they've kept it safe all these years."

Elena watched Stefan's mind reel at what Damon was saying. She didn't understand what it was he was trying to convey but she knew suddenly that whatever it was they needed, Stefan had it.

"I don't understand." Stefan begged quietly. She could tell that he wanted to but he didn't.

"You were so young, perhaps too young but I needed you to have it. And I've been grateful ever since for you. You've always believed in me, always cared about me."

"Always loved you." Stefan finished and Elena watched him close his fist and bring it up to his chest and suddenly she could see the light in his eyes as he figured it out.

Damon gave a sad smile before unexpectedly wrapping his arms tightly around Stefan. She saw Stefan pause and stiffen for a moment, hesitating before finally relaxing and wrapping his own arms tightly around Damon, holding him tightly. She felt tears well up in her eyes and begin to slid down her cheeks at the scene, not quite sure exactly what had happened but realizing that whatever it was, it was important, and it was special.

She knew that Stefan had only wanted one thing from Damon and it was now that he must have realized that he had it all along. Damon was hard to love, but not because of didn't have love but because he guarded it. He held it close to him afraid to let others see it.

The last apparition of Damon slowly faded from view, still wrapped around Stefan until he was no longer there. It was then that she approached him, reaching out a gentle hand to rub his arm in support as he stared down at his closed fist.

"What is it that he gave you?" She asked curiously.

"When Mother died Damon was devastated." Stefan said. "He was so isolated already and Father…"

"It's ok Stefan. He's not alone now." Elena comforted and he seemed to accept it though he still looked sad.

"After Mother's funeral I went to him. He didn't go to the service or come to dinner. He was crying, and a tear fell down his face and landed in my hand." With that Stefan opened his fist and there lay a crystal tear shaped crystal attached to a small key, the perfect size for the lock on the door.

"He said before we left that he lost something." She muttered thinking back. It seemed so long ago.

"Yeah." Stefan gasped out, and Elena's heart softened as he tried to get control of himself. "He heart, his hope. He gave me this. I had it the whole time and I didn't know."

"I think you did Stefan." Elena said firmly. "You may not have known what it was but you always knew you had a part of Damon. The both of us. Let's go save him."

Stefan took a couple more gulps of air before nodding and clutching the shard tight in his hands. The two of them approached the door. Elena watched patiently as Stefan took the key from his palm and inserted it in the door. A soft click was heard and seemed to echo around the room signaling that they could now go in.

Elena grabbed ahold of Stefan's hand tightly and together they opened the door.


	24. Chapter 24

**A/N Wow...this is a lot sooner than I expected. I think its a bit bro mushy and i apologize for that. Thank you to these people for reviewing, I love hearing your thoughts and thanks to all those who are reading and following my story.**

 **Naiky96**  
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Chapter 24

What lay beyond the door had been anybody's guess until it was opened. Now that they finally got through the last obstacle it should really have been no surprise to Stefan on where they would go. He immediately recognized the room the moment he walked in.

It was Damon's old bedroom.

The bright seemingly natural light that came from the windows along the wall was in stark contrast to the previous room. The library had been darkened and windowless, lightened only by old lamps and fireplaces. It had seemed like perpetual night as they went in and out of the book of memories collecting pieces of Damon's heart.

Stefan looked around the room, recognition tickling his memory. It was a good size room made seemingly larger by the lack of clutter that usually surrounded anywhere Stefan inhabited. Stefan loved collecting knickknacks and surrounding himself with the things he loved. While he was by no means a messy person in neither life nor death the rooms that Stefan inhabited were always full.

Damon had been the polar opposite.

For as long as Stefan could remember, Damon had been excessively neat. He didn't like clutter, had to have everything in its place. He never bought souvenirs or kept anything that was not important, and the things that were important Stefan had never seen as Damon always hid them. As a child Stefan had always felt overwhelmed whenever going into Damon's room. Despite Damon always laughing at him and telling him that the rooms were the same in size, the sparse furniture and the cold emptiness of it always made it seem larger, and not in a way that would make one jealous. It had always seemed empty and untouched as if it were one of the many guest rooms. The only personal items that were ever around were the occasional book, a quilt hand made by one of their minders when he was young, and a single daguerreotype photograph of Damon sitting under a tree with Stefan as a baby.

Over the years while growing up Stefan would occasionally bring things in to leave in Damon's room to make it feel more homely. He'd bring toys, books, pictures he's drawn. The toys and books always made their way back to their proper spots whether in Stefan's room or the library, but much to his delight the pictures would stay though he never saw them again. Once he even brought a potted plant in. Somehow it had gotten broke however and Stefan had seen Damon kneeling on the ground picking up the shards with bloodied hands.

Stepping further into the room, Stefan ran his hand gently over the top of the dresser to his left, leaving no fingerprints behind as there were no dust. The hair brush and other items of personal grooming sat upon it side by side in a perfect straight line for easy access. Nearby was the wardrobe in the corner with the fireplace alongside of the wall. A desk lay against the walls with the windows, offering Damon a view of the pond as he did his school work. Stefan used to with Damon at the desk working on his own school work or at least pretending to while he stared out into the never-ending horizon. Damon's bed sat a few feet from the desk in the center of the room and a door leading on the right wall led to the water closet that he had shared with his brother.

There was no color in the room, Stefan thought. There was no warmth. While everything was of the highest quality material that could be bought in the early 19th century, it all seemed so cold and distant in their dull greys, whites, and blue hues. It was as if Damon was a guest in his own room.

"Stefan." Elena gasped out breaking his thoughts and he looked over in her direction as she approached the bed.

Stefan followed her, looking down upon bed, he stopped in his step as he spotted a small child laying beneath the blankets. It looked lost in the large bed and seemed to be drowning under the quilt. Quickly regaining his composure Stefan stepped up to the left side of the bed and sat down on the side gently and reached out to pull down the blanket from the child's face.

There laying perfectly still was Damon, looking no more than five years of age. Stefan took in his brother, watching his chest rise and fall unsteadily as he breathed, and taking note of his pale sweaty skin and the flush of his cheeks. He could feel the heat radiating off the little body as if he had a fever which confused Stefan.

"He doesn't look good." Elena whispered, still standing on the other side of the bed, hands clasped tightly in front of her.

Stefan ignored her and raised his hand to wipe away a sweat soaked strand of hair away from Damon's forehead before placing his palm upon it. The head of Damon's skin practically burned through Stefan's ice cold hand but the slight sigh of relief on his brother's face kept it there.

"I don't understand. How can he be sick?" Elena said, finally sitting down on the other side pulling the blanket down a little further to lay her own dead vampire hand gently upon his chest.

Stefan opened his mouth a time or two to answer but nothing came out, he had no answers. Instead he was about to ask her to check the water closet to see if there was any cool water and a rag when a loud angry growl came from the library startling the two of them. They both jumped in surprise and looked towards the door, waiting for what they didn't know.

However a small cry from the little creature on the bed drew their attention back to Damon as his eyes fluttered opened and his breathing became more distressed. Immediately Stefan sat back onto the side of the bed, running his hands down the sides of Damon's face to calm him but the growling, hissing, and sounds of the vampire in the other room seemed to agitate the young boy more.

Panic ran through Stefan, unsure of that it meant. Wondering on if the creature was awake if that meant they were out of time and Damon would be snatched away from them. They had come too far to just give up now and Stefan knew he wouldn't leave Damon here without a fight.

Damon began to cry as the sounds of the vampire crashing into the bars got louder and louder. It took every fiber of his being to not just go out there and rip the beasts head off, but the consequences to Damon were unknown and therefore he wouldn't risk it.

"Elena, shut the door." Stefan ordered leaning over Damon and brining the boy to his chest, holding him tightly. His entire body burned through Stefan but once again the coolness of Stefan's skin seem to relieve some of Damon's distress.

Elena closed the door behind him and Stefan was relieved at the silence as it clicked into place and seemed to lock. A moment of panic shot through him at the sound as thoughts of being trapped in there with Damon took over. But the soft sigh of relief that came from his brother soothed any worries he had just felt. If his presence soothed Damon's frightened sick form than he would stay there for as long as it takes, even if it mean eternity.

As Elena headed for the water closet, obviously having the same thoughts has he, Stefan arranged himself so that he could lean against the head board of the oversized bed and draped Damon's body all along his own to give him as much relief as possible.

"Well I guess this is a good reason to be a vampire." Elena joked as she came out of the water closet, bowl and towel in hand. Stefan gave her a wane smile as she sat on the edge and dipped the cloth into the bowl and run it out. "By the way, that has to be the most frightening bathroom I've ever seen. It's a good thing Caroline didn't come with." She joked.

Stefan chuckled himself as he ran his hand in soothing circles on Damon's back. He seemed to be fast asleep and Stefan marveled at the sweet innocent look upon his face. The boy hadn't said a word, hadn't even opened his eyes and yet he readily accepted the comfort that the two vampires gave him. Did Damon somehow know who they were, that they were trying to help him? Or was his mind so far gone that he would accept any act of kindness from anyone or anything.

"So what do we do now?" Elena asked wiping the sweat from Damon's face. He looked a bit better as his body cooled down but the sweat was still stuck on his skin.

"I don't know." Stefan answered honestly. "We somehow have to reach Damon." He said looking down at his brother brow furrowed. They seemed at some kind of road block. Locked in this bedroom, other than the strange fever everything seemed normal. He was missing something, he just wasn't sure what.

"How do we help him? Do we just lower the fever and get him to wake up? Seems a bit too easy." Elena continued. Stefan didn't answer as he continued to muse over their situation. He wasn't sure how long he had lounged against the bed with Damon draped over him but he knew it was long enough that the sun outside should have changed, but it stayed at late morning, shining its soft morning rays into the bedroom.

Glancing around the room Stefan couldn't figure out why Damon's mind would create it. His brother never spent much time as a human in the room. He practically avoided it. He preferred to be out of the house, under a tree reading a book or out in the field occasionally putting in some physical labor when their father was out of town.

That had been a bafflement to Stefan when he discovered that. When he was 7 his father had gone to New York on a business trip leaving Damon in charge of the house. Stefan had searched all over for him until he was directed by Harold, their stable boy that he was in the field. Following the trek down he spotted Damon quickly enough, the only white man in a sea of dark skin harvesting the crops.

"Why were you doing slaves work?" Stefan had asked Damon later that night after dinner. They were sitting in the library where Stefan was finishing his lessons and Damon was staring tiredly into the fireplace. It was a peaceful night in the Salvatore household as it tended to be when their father was not home.

"It's good to do other work Stefan." Damon had explained. "It's good to get to know them."

Stefan had stared at his brother confused. "Why would you want to get know them? Father says they're here for one purpose and that is to work. He says they are just property like everything else we own."

Damon had turned from the fire then and gave him a sad look and Stefan had felt his face flame from the expression. He knew he had somehow shamed his brother and he didn't understand why, but he didn't like. He wanted to understand.

"They're not property Stefan, they're people. Do you understand what a slave is?" He asked and Stefan shook his head. "They are people, fellow humans that are forced into bondage. It's wrong, people should not be kept as property."

"But their different." Stefan countered his voice small.

"We are different too." Damon replied quickly. "You have soft brown hair and green eyes, I have black and blue eyes. We are very different yet we are the same. We are both flesh and blood and sentient."

Stefan still hadn't fully understood but he nodded anyways. His brother was telling him the exact opposite of what he had been taught by their father. From that day on Stefan watched Damon as he interacted with the people around them, taking note of the kindness he paid to each. He was courteous to all, opening doors for the woman or carrying heavy loads when coming upon them. He would laugh with the men, talk to him as equals and listen to their words. Even the children he would give sweets to that he would pull out of his pocket and smile as they cheered and ran off to finish their chores.

But biggest thing Stefan had observed since that day, was the respect they gave his brother in return. Father commanded their loyalty and respect through pure ownership. He was the lord of the land and they would obey him or suffer the consequences. Damon however earned it, and though there was no question still that he was their master, the fact that he treated them like equals had won them over.

In effect it was Damon who shaped Stefan's view on the world. Damon who taught him to be kind and sympathetic even as he has complained about it over the century and half of being vampires, everything Stefan had learned about how to treat fellow human beings, he had learned from his brother.

'Remember to throw that in his face next time he complains.' He told himself with a smile.

In any event his Damon had spent very few hours in this room, only being there to sleep or dress. Even in the evenings when all was quiet and the world went to bed, Damon would stay up as late as possible elsewhere. It caused many arguments with their father.

Stefan closed his eyes and leaned his head back against the headboard. He was starting to feel tired again. It was an odd sensation being so exhausted all the time. A vampire in theory didn't have to sleep as much as humans. He could stay up for days on end without any ill effects, however ever since Damon took off after Katherine broke his heart, Stefan had felt nothing but exhaustion.

Stefan didn't know how long he had laid there in the bed with Damon. Time seemed irrelevant in Damon's mind as he felt himself drift to sleep. However he was jolted awake by the sound of quite sobbing from somewhere in the room and he snapped his eye opened and looked around for the source.

The first thing that registered was he was still in Damon's old bedroom however the bright morning light from the window had darkened to pitch night with no moon outside. The only light from the room was from the fireplace, the flames flickering back and forth wildly but no warmth seemed to come from them. The sound of the muffled crying seemed to come from a darkened corner near the fireplace where no light seemed to hit casting it into near darkness.

Stefan crawled out of the bed, looking back to see Damon no longer there before he walked slowly to the corner. The closer he got however the more strained the muffled crying became. Using his vampire sight to his full advantage Stefan got down upon his knees a few feet from the curled up bundle taking in the sight as his stomach dropped.

Huddled into himself as tightly as possible was Damon. Not the young five year old Damon that he had been expecting but his brother as he was now. Stefan's eyes widened as he took him in, his tattered clothes, mattered hair and dirty skin.

"Damon?" He whispered, afraid to speak any louder. Damon turned his head and peaked out over his arm at Stefan. He saw in his eyes the same thing that he had seen right before they entered his mind, sadness, betrayal, pain. Damon was lost in more ways than one and being here with him was painful to see. His brother had always been such a strong man to Stefan.

Stefan crawled a few more inches towards his brother and Damon covered his eyes again in his arms and somehow pushed himself further into the wall. It was an impossible feat but somehow he was able to do it.

"Damon, please come out." Stefan whispered. "I want to help you."

"You can't." came a pained response. Stefan however wasn't about to give up. This was the real Damon, his real brother. He came so far, learned so much. Strangely he felt closer to Damon than he'd ever felt before and leaving him here in his mind to whatever fate lie waiting for him was cruel and impossible.

"I'm not leaving without you Damon." Stefan said firmly. Before Damon could answer though a loud muffled scream sounded behind him and he turned around quickly, eyes widening in horror.

There in the middle of the room his father stood towering over a six year old Damon, large hand held tightly around the bottom half of his face covering his mouth while the other one was wrapped tightly around his torso. Stefan could see his brothers face start turning colors as he fought his father for air but failing due to his size.

Stefan stood up from the ground and lunged at his father only to end up going right through him and landing hard against the dresser. His father didn't even notice him as he continued choking the life out of Damon. It only lasted a few more beats however as Giuseppe tossed Damon hard onto the ground, the young boy gasping loudly for much needed oxygen as his body shook and tears fell from his eyes. Stefan could see the struggle to breath as the need to sob came forth.

"You're so worthless." Giuseppe shouted grabbing a belt that was lying neatly on the bed and bringing it down upon Damon as the boy scrambled up to his knees. "I told you to leave your mother alone. You don't listen!" His father shouted raining down slash upon slash of the belt until Damon gave up trying to get away and just curling up in a ball.

Stefan tried a few more times to stop Giuseppe but it was no use, he was just an apparition. Eventually it faded and the room was empty once more except for Stefan and his brother who had not moved from his corner aside to cover his ears from the screaming of his younger self. For a few moments Stefan couldn't move, couldn't think, he couldn't really comprehend the violence that had just happened. It started too fast and ended just as so.

But as Stefan stood up from his collapsed place in front of the dresser, the apparition reappeared, only time had apparently passed as Giuseppe looked a bit older and Damon was now a strapping ten year old boy. However the scene was just the same as his father brought a fist down on Damon's face and kicked him as fell to the ground.

"I told you not to take your brother out there." He shouted. "He's too young to go into the fields." Another kick to the gut and Damon fell onto his side.

"I didn't take him father, he followed me." Damon protested but Giuseppe didn't seem to care as he picked up the belt that had once again been laying on the bed and brought it down repeatedly onto Damon.

Again as quickly as it started it ended and Stefan was stunned, stuck to the floor where he had once again fallen. Over and over again the same scene seemed to be repeated. Giuseppe was harsh and cruel to Damon but it wasn't until now that he realized just how cruel. Stefan couldn't even remember a time his father had raised a hand to him, he rarely even raised his voice. And yet here he is in a never ending vision of brutally beating his other child. Belittling him, blaming him, unleashing emotional and physical abuse upon the person Stefan had looked up to the most in his human life.

The violence continued on through Damon's life and Stefan watched through each vision as Damon grew, becoming a man and how on each change of scenery it was the same tired thing but Damon grew more and more distant. Stefan could see how each time Damon became less scared, less betrayed, less hurt and became angrier, more stoic. By the time Damon had reached his final year as a human he took his punishment without a single sound uttered and barely a grimace on his face.

Finally the seemingly endless torment came stopped as his father entered the bedroom door and closed it tightly behind him, standing steadfast at its entrance as he stared at the bed. With jelly legs Stefan used the dresser behind him to stand up, shaking slightly so he could too look upon the bed. There lay Damon, battered and bruised with fever in his eyes as he looked up at Giuseppe. Stefan's heart lurched as he realized that this is the time Damon had come home at last during the war. He had been near death as he had arrived on his horse and Stefan hadn't been able to see him in weeks. But the glimpse he had gotten as they pulled his brother from the horse and dragged him into the house had stayed with him over the long course of his life.

"I see you've made it back." Giuseppe stated quirking an eyebrow up the way he did when knew the answer but expected you to answer the rhetoric sounding question anyways.

"Yes father." Damon said simply as a cough took over and racked his body. "I'm sure you are very relieved."

Giuseppe gave an uncivilized snort belying his social station. "Don't get smart with me boy. I will not tolerate it." He growled.

"You have no reason to worry father, as soon as I am able I will be gone again." Damon said tiredly as he slumped back against the pillows behind him.

"The sooner the better." Was Giuseppe's reply and Stefan blanched. He knew of the disdain between the two but witnessing it was an entirely different.

"Your concern for me is astounding father."

"You will also cease all contact with Stefan."

Damon gave a derisive laugh that broke in another cough. "Isn't that decision up to Stefan? He is my brother."

"He may be your brother in blood but I will not allow you to influence him any longer." Giuseppe bit out. "He is on the cusp of becoming a great man and I will not allow you to interfere."

"He hasn't father." Stefan argued though neither of the occupants could hear him.

"At the celebration of his 18th year, I intend to name Stefan as my heir to the Salvatore business and fortune."

"And let me guess father, I've officially been written out of the will." Damon answered knowingly.

Stefan watched his father give a smirk, not liking the pit he was feeling in his stomach. "You were written out years ago boy." He replied, taking delight in the slight grimace that Damon couldn't hide. "Once your dear mother departed I decided to go through everything."

"No, father how could you?" Stefan said angrily stepping towards the bed.

It was then that the silent sobbing from before hit his ears again and he turned back to the corner, seeing Damon still there huddled and shaking, peaking out over his arm again. Somehow he had forgotten where he was exactly and about Damon as he got lost in the most horrible memories Damon retained of the events that transpired in this room. It was then he realized why his brother avoided it.

"I wouldn't have allowed it Damon." He said to the mass in the corner. "I won't have been able to take anything knowing you were given nothing. You would have been taken care of still."

"Of course you did." Damon replied grimly. "It really is no surprise that you would leave your son penniless in your passing. Luckily despite your dislike of me, you have provided a solid education and therefore I am sure I will survive on my own."

"If I could I would take that away too, but that is yours to keep and I pray to the Lord that you will use it wisely. Though you will for the most part be disowned on Stefan's birthday, you are still Salvatore and you should use it to your advantage and not embarrass the family name."

"As much as I care little about embarrassing you father, I do have love for my brother and therefore you will have nothing to worry about." Damon told him sincerely. "I had only come back to say goodbye to Stefan."

For the first time throughout the exchange his father showed a reaction. It was obvious to Stefan that this declaration had thrown Giuseppe, but being a man of his stature he recovered quickly.

"I see. And what is it you plan to do?" He inquired as Stefan's heart beat a little bit faster. Had his father known about Tabitha? Had Damon made known his intention to wed her? The pain of knowing that he had told his father who he hated and not his brother whom he just claimed to love made Stefan feel slightly ill. But Damon just shook his head.

"It matters not father, only that I will be out of your way making room for Stefan."

With a final slight nod the exchanged seemed to be over as his father turned and exited the room. He hadn't even taken a full step in. Stefan watched until the door was tightly closed before turning his attention to the Damon on the bed who seemed to let out a sigh of relief as his body relaxed from the effort to stay up.

Stefan sat on the end of the bed watching as his brother struggled to find a comfortable position, but it seemed impossible for him as he tossed and turned and struggled to breath. He had never seen Damon look so vulnerable as a human. He had never seen Damon even have a cold. Unable to watch his brother so weak he turned his attention back to the one in the corner, his real brother.

"Were you really going to just say goodbye and leave me?" He asked Damon, meeting his gaze from over his arm. "Do you really think I would have let you just get away with that?"

Damon didn't say a word as he stared and it unnerved Stefan. It was too much like how he was while he was in the cell. The way he would watch them through the door unblinkingly.

"I would have stopped you Damon. There was no way I was going to let you out of my life. I had spent months doing nothing but worrying and waiting for some word from you that you were alive and well only to have you come home such a state.

They didn't even let me see you, did you know that? I sat outside your room for weeks until finally they let me in."

Stefan watched his brother, silently relieved that his muffled cries had stopped as he watched Stefan back.

"I know about Tabitha." Stefan said suddenly, needing Damon to know. Damon lifted his head a bit higher and narrowed his brow in confusion, clearing unsure how Stefan knew. It occurred to Stefan that despite that fact that Elena and he had been traipsing through Damon's mind, the fact that he had isolated himself behind a locked and protected door, Damon wasn't aware of their presence. Stefan grabbed onto that information and planned to use it to his full advantage.

"I would have understood that. I may not have known the extent of what father has done to you over the years but I knew you had always been unhappy here. All I ever wanted was for you to be happy Damon. I wish you would believe that. I wish there was some way for me to make you realize that."

"It doesn't matter." Damon's voice whispered so softly that even his enhanced vampire hearing almost missed.

"It does matter. It always has." Stefan countered getting up from the bed to close the distance between them. "I know I haven't been the best brother, especially after we turned. But you are still my big brother and you have always been important to me."

The brothers sat in silence, the only sounds from the room came from the nearby crackling fire. It was starting to produce a little warmth and Stefan took that as a good sign. Perhaps if he could get Damon to understand how he's always felt he would come back. Looking back at the bed Stefan wasn't surprised to see it empty once more with the quilt neatly folded as if it had never been disturbed. His mind wondered to Elena, wondering where she could be, and why she hadn't come into this with him, when something hit him. Something he had wondered about since they first saw the memory.

"What happened to Tabitha?" Stefan asked curiously. Damon stared at him for a few beats, his jaw clenching as he seemed to struggle to breath before breaking eye contact with Stefan. Stefan felt a moment of fear that he had gone too far and was about to retract his question when Damon spoke softly again.

"Katherine, compelled me to forget her." Damon said his voice hoarse. "After I left you with Lexi, I went back to her but it was too late."

Stefan hung his head in sadness at hearing the fate of who was to be his sister in law. It was hard to reconcile Damon being so madly in love with someone else other than Katherine, and now Elena, but seeing the memory of his leaving her, he knew that Damon loved her just as much.

"Do you think it was Katherine?" Stefan asked, knowing without a doubt that it was her.

Damon swallowed and nodded his head. "I didn't at first, she was in the tomb. After I found out she wasn't in there though I knew it was her."

"I suppose that will explain how you got over her so fast." Stefan said thoughtfully. "You were so in love with her, and her betrayal hurt you so much. But that last rejection before you killed Jeremy that ended it for you didn't it?"

"I wanted to ignore what she had done." Damon explained pained as tears fell down his cheek. "I had wanted her for so long anything else just seemed too much."

Stefan couldn't bear to see his brother in such pain anymore and crawled over the last remaining inches to him and wrapped his arms around him tightly. Damon struggled for a few seconds, trying to push him off but he gave in and Stefan felt him sag heavily against his chest.

"I'm sorry you lost Tabitha." He whispered into his brother's hair. "I'm sorry Katherine lied and manipulated you. But you have to come back to us."

"I can't." Damon whispered. "All the pain, all the destruction. Do you have any idea how many people I've killed? How many lives I destroyed?"

"Probably no more than I have Brother. You can't let the past dictate you. You have to learn from it and move on and try to be a better person."

Damon let out a snort of derision and finally pushed Stefan away. Stefan didn't move from his spot or give his brother any extra space. If his brother was going to disappear, Stefan was going to go with him.

"What's the point Stefan?" He asked grimly. "Our time was up a long time ago. Maybe it's time to let go. Maybe it's time to finally give in."

"No!" Stefan exclaimed gravely. "Not when we are so close to having everything we've wanted."

"We have nothing."

"We have each other! You and I were so close as humans until Katherine broke us apart and now we are back in each other's lives. We are in a good place Damon, finally after 150 years! I'm pretty sure I'm falling madly in love with Caroline and you have Elena."

"Elena ripped my heart out."

"It wasn't Elena, Damon. It was Katherine."

"No it wasn't." Damon shook his head unbelieving. Stefan took a few deep breaths, calming his racing heart. He was close he knew it.

"Listen to me Damon. You know Elena, she wouldn't have done that. If she were to break up with you she wouldn't have done it in a way that have smashed your heart. She wouldn't have just left you."

"You don't know that." Damon countered.

"I do Damon. Because Elena is the kindest most forgiving person on the planet. Couples fight Damon, it's the way it is. But she never expressed to anyone any desire to end things with you Damon. Frustrations at your apparent and obvious lack of restraint at times but she loves you, and would not make a decision like that."

Stefan felt some relief that Damon appeared to at least be listening to him which was more than he could say about before. He wished with his entire being that Elena would be there with all his being to back up what he was saying. But she wasn't there.

Where was she?

***((***))***

A/N: On a personal note I want to announce I'm going to be an Aunt soon! I'm super excited.


	25. Chapter 25

**A/N: wow..this one came out a bit quick so i'm not quite sure of the quality. Thank you for everyone who reviewed:**

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Chapter 25

Elena continued to gently wipe the sweat off Damon's flushed cheeks as he slept against Stefan. It was an unusual sight to see Stefan in the role of the older person and Damon as a child, but it was still a beautiful thing to behold. It made her heart ache at what the two brothers had lost because Katherine had entered their lives. Their tale was already woven with tragedy and pain without the help of her doppelganger.

Seeing Stefan so peaceful against the back of the bed with Damon asleep on his chest was a beautiful picture. Stefan would have been a natural father if he had been given the chance. It was something they had never discussed before like most things involving Stefan's life as a human. He had tended to avoid any insights into his life except for a few fond tidbits that filtered in every now and then. Just knowing Stefan's calm nature when he's in control of his bloodlust she knew he had wanted a family. But like all his other dreams, like becoming a doctor, it had been savagely ripped away from him.

Damon she had never fully figured out, which was what she loved and hated the most about him. He wasn't so easy to read and despite everything she learns about him, Damon still somehow surprises her and contradicts what she knows. He was hard to read even when he was open. Mostly she loved that he was a mystery, but it could be frustrating at time. Damon, while a very verbose guy, really didn't say anything that reveals how he really feels or what he really thinks. He never explains how he comes to a conclusion even if it does make sense, which, much to the others dismay was more often than not.

However despite her lack of understanding of Damon's innermost workings, she couldn't help but be madly in love with him. Eternity didn't feel so long so long as she was with Damon, it felt like it will only be a blink of an eye before it's gone. She wanted to hold on to every moment she could with him, and spend her never ending life learning and exploring everything with Damon.

However the past few months had felt like what a literal eternity was. Never ending. The days went on long, she felt sadness and was so lost. Even after they had located Damon she still felt it. She felt he was so close but even further away than when they didn't know where he was. It had been painful to watch him so scared and angry and out of control while locked in the cell. Elena understood why Stefan had done it, but it still didn't make it any easier. It killed her inside each time she went down there, but she couldn't and wouldn't leave Damon alone. She would never leave him alone again.

With a sigh Elena placed the wash cloth back into the bowl and watched the two brother sleep somewhat peacefully for a moment. She was at a loss of what to do next. Stefan and she had fought so hard to get into the room that they hadn't even thought about what was on the other side. She almost wished that one of the apparitions from before would appear and give her one of their vague riddled hints.

Not sure what to do and not wanting to wake the sleeping brothers up, Elena got off the bed and headed towards the water closet. She placed the bowl down on the counter that lined one wall and looked up into the mirror that was placed there. It was strange to her how she could look the same yet look so different. Gone were the soft lines of a happy child, of innocence in her eyes. She had never noticed any spark of youth in them until it was gone leaving her eyes a tired brown that belied her age. It was the same in all the eyes of any vampire she had ever faced. They all looked vibrant and young yet their eyes told a different story. They told of the horrors that they had seen, the years that have passed, and the dreams that they had once had being destroyed by the nature of their existence and the trauma of their death.

It hadn't been something that she had thought much about until after she had turned. These things were just around. Vampires, are what they were called. They were creatures that looked like any other human that had been frozen in youth and caused destruction and death. It wasn't until well after she turned, after she got her emotions under control that she fully understood.

To become a vampire, you had to die.

It seemed so silly and so obvious after it hit her, but it was something she had never really been able to bring herself to think about. Humans were very much aware of their own mortality. They aged every second of every day. They got hurt or became sick. From a young age children are taught the lessons that everything dies, that nothing is eternal and so whether you're aware of it or not, their minds prepare themselves for their inevitable end.

Waking up on that cold metal table in the morgue and during her transition everything felt wrong. Stefan had tried his best to reassure her, that it was just her emotions being heightened from the transition, but Elena felt it was more. Thinking on it now with a clear mind it felt more like her body and mind was telling her time was up and by continuing to exist it broke the preconceived notions that every human has about their mortality, and that transition she realized is what must cause the violence that automatically comes with being a vampire. Humans weren't naturally born to be killers, to feed off each other, but right from the start, right from their death they are pushed by instinct to kill causing further destress.

That trauma on top of the experience of being killed, it was no wonder. No vampire, even one who changed willingly, died a natural death and moved onto transition. Regardless how it was done, each and every one of them had had to experience some form of painful death. Even hers which she had prepared for when she indicated for Stefan to save Matt first had been painful. She felt at peace at having saved her friend, but that peace couldn't override the horrible feeling of her lungs burning for oxygen or the pressure she felt from the water pressing into her body.

She had been lucky though. She had vampires already in her life. She had friends and family left. They had been there with her every step of the way whether it was to help control her emotions and urges, to just being there to let her cry on their shoulder while she mourned all the death in her life, including her own. Elena knew she wouldn't have been able to do it on her own, and the experience of becoming a vampire had helped her understand them better.

If only she could somehow get Bonnie to understand.

Running her fingers through her hair to tame it, Elena took one final look in the mirror before heading back into Damon's room. Opening the door she stepped back in, pausing mid-step at the sudden change. The room had been bright in the morning that never ended, as was the water closet. However now it was dark out and turning her head behind her to look at the door she just exited, the same was true there.

She was confused for a moment as she looked at the bed, seeing neither Damon nor Stefan there. The bed was perfectly made as if it had never been disturbed and she looked around the room not seeing Stefan anywhere but paused as her eyes found a figure huddled in front of the fireplace that was now lit.

She paused, unable to move as she took in the figure. He sat perfectly still, the flames dancing back and forth all around him yet still casting him in shadows. Elena felt no warmth from the fire as a chill ran through her spine.

"Damon?" she asked quietly, hesitating to break the silence that was thick in the room. She was afraid to move from her spot, afraid that if she made a sudden movement, like a frightened deer, Damon would flee and she would never find him again.

"Why are you here?" He responded, voice devoid of any emotion. Elena didn't like it and wished he would make some snarky comment and give her his infamous smirk.

"We came to help you." She said, taking a step towards him.

"You shouldn't have come. You should have just let me be."

"You should know perfectly well that there was no chance of that." She said.

Nothing further came from Damon and he showed no sign of destress at her presence so Elena took the chance and walked closer to him slowly. When she was a foot away she sat herself down easily on the floor next to him, her side facing the fire so that she could watch him.

She missed just watching Damon. He always had a mask on, hiding his real emotions, but if she watched him long enough sometimes it would slip and she would get a brief glimpse of the real Damon behind it. She found she lived for those brief moments where he would just be sitting silently, or reading a book and a small smile would creep up over his lips. It was one of the few times he looked genuinely happy and it made her heart pound harder whenever she catches it.

Now however his mask was fully gone, she could see that easily, and in its place was a look of abject misery and hopelessness. She didn't understand and it frightened her. While she wasn't the one who broke Damon's heart, it scared her that she apparently had so much power over him. To be able to destroy him completely like this was almost too much to bare.

"Damon, I'm sorry about what happened." She started, watching him carefully. His eyes flickered briefly at her words and she grabbed onto that moment of hope. "I don't know what else to say."

Damon took a deep breath, and held it in for a moment and she wanted to say something, afraid of what he would say. "There's nothing you can say Elena."

"I don't want to lose you Damon." She argued. "I want you to come back."

"It's not up to you Elena." He said simply and Elena felt anger creep up in her chest.

"It may not be up to me but that doesn't mean I'm going to just let it happen." She stated firmly. "Especially if I'm the reason for it."

Damon let out a derisive laugh startling Elena. It went on for a few moments as she eyed him warily. He quieted down soon enough and back was his typical stubborn expression which pleased Elena. It meant he was going to fight back.

"Yes, it's all about your Elena. Everything is always about you." He mocked.

"Fine, I'll bite. If it's not about me, then what is it about?" She asked. "You've lived almost two centuries and one little break up and you run away?"

"Run away?" Damon spat. "I couldn't stay Elena. You had made it very clear that you no longer wanted to be with you."

"So you leave?" She asked incredulous causing Damon to finally look at her, eyes wide in disbelief.

"You can't honestly have expected me to stay Elena." He said peeved.

Elena was taken aback by that though he was right. Asking him to stay would have been selfish of her and knew it would be hard on Damon. He loved with his entire being and when he was hurt he was very self-destructive. She wouldn't want him to be that way.

"Damon, I don't know what to tell you. It wasn't me. I wouldn't do that." She said grimly.

Damon turned to stare at the fire again and Elena slumped her shoulders. She didn't know if he believed her or not and she really had no defense. Just saying it was Katherine, while is the truth just sounds like a sad excuse even to her ears.

"Please, Damon. Help me. I don't know what to say or do for you. I don't want to lose you, I love you." She pleaded.

"I know." Damon said so softly she almost missed it. She didn't reply, not sure if she could if she wanted to. His reply confused her. If he knew, then why was all this happening? She stayed quiet and still, afraid that any movement would quiet him.

Damon remained silent for a long time. Elena wasn't sure how long it was but she was determined to wait it out. The night stayed steadfast outside the window making the light from the fire the only source in the oversized room. She hated the room. It was cold and distant, but at the same time she could still see parts of Damon around it.

It was all in the little details she had learned. From the carefully chosen bedspread, to the placement of the furniture. It was Damon's way of having control. He couldn't control things outside of himself completely but he could control the small things such as where things went, how clean to keep it. To the average person the room would seem empty and it was more so than what she was used to, but she had no doubt that if she snooped around she could easily find more of Damon spread out away from sight.

"I know it was Katherine." Damon finally said.

"You knew…"

"Not right away, of course." Damon said quickly meeting her eyes again. "If I had known, I wouldn't have just left."

"Then how? When?" She asked searchingly, confused on how he knew.

"I knew that first time, by the lake, when you didn't disappear. It wouldn't make sense for you to be there at all. You wouldn't have been able to reach me."

"But I did." She pushed remembering the dream.

"Yes, you did. I don't know how but you did." He replied thoughtfully. "Entering one's mind is not an easy gift. Most vampires can't do it."

"You do." She pointed out, remembering the times he had done it to her and others. It was different from compulsion she knew. Compulsion just changes ones actions and mind, entering someone's mind, seeing or manipulating their thoughts from the inside was something entirely different. She knew Stefan couldn't do it, though she wasn't sure if it was just his lack of ability or his lifestyle.

"It's something I've always been able to do Elena. And because of that, it's almost impossible to penetrate my mind." He explained turning back to the fire. "Yet you were able to do it so easily, and you didn't even know you had."

"I thought it was a dream." Elena admitted remembering it. She could almost feel the warmth of the sun on her skin again. "If you knew it was me, why didn't you come back?"

Damon didn't answer her. She wanted to hear what his defense was, what had kept him locked inside his mind. It wasn't a simple thing of just turning off his emotions so he wouldn't feel, he had retreated inside himself completely where they couldn't reach him. The act had left the creature that is the vampire in his place making him even more dangerous than before.

"Damon-"

"It could happen." He said simply, and she quirked a brow. "I am so impulsive, and I make bad decisions. You leaving me is almost a guarantee. I don't think I'd be able to take that."

Elena's forehead creased in sadness at Damon's confession. He had openly admitted to her that he didn't feel he was worthy enough for her, that he wasn't good enough. He had placed her on such a high pedestal that should easily fall down from it, but she had no doubt that Damon would just pick her back up and place her atop it again. He didn't believe that he was worth loving, and though she hadn't seen memories much from his childhood she could easily tell that it has been rooted in him since he was a young child. She didn't understand that. Despite that her parents weren't her biological parents she had always grown up knowing she was loved. There had never been a doubt in her mind. She couldn't fathom how someone could not love a child, especially their own.

"I don't know what to say Damon." She started calmly. "I know in my heart that I love you, more than anything, but I can't guarantee that we will be together forever."

She watched Damon process that, his eyes sinking to the hard wood floor that seemed to glow in the light of the fire. She didn't want to make promises she couldn't keep. Anything could happen. Though she loves him now and can't imagine life without him, time changes people and the possibility of changing feelings were great. But that didn't mean they should just give up.

"All I can promise is that I love you now, and when I see the future, all I can see is you, with me." She finished biting her lip and holding her breath.

Damon continued to stare at the floor blankly an Elena wasn't even sure he heard her. She was afraid for a brief second that he had closed himself off again and he would permanently be out of her reach. That idea scared her so much that she wanted to reach out to him and physically just hold him there.

"Why can't you just accept my love" She blurted out causing Damon to jump slightly, bringing his attention back to her. She grabbed ahold of it. "I give it to you freely and you still won't take it."

"I don't deserve it." He countered dully and Elena shook her head.

"Whether you feel you deserve it or not, it's not up to you. It's up to me." She stated hotly. "It's my heart, my decision. If anyone should know what it's like to have your love rejected it would be you."

Damon scowled at her and for a second she thought his face would change and he would bare his fangs but it stayed in its normal stated. "What would you know?" He bit out and Elena crossed her arms over her chest defiantly.

"I know you loved Katherine. Everyone knew Damon, it wasn't exactly a secret." She said. "And she didn't love you back, did she? She loved Stefan. You freely gave her your heart and she didn't want it."

"It's not the same Elena and you know it." He growled getting angrier. She grabbed hold of that, wanting him to get even angrier, maybe into a rage. It could be the thing that makes him fight back for himself.

"Isn't it?" she jeered standing up from the ground. "Are you in love with someone else? Is that what it is? Were you just playing with me because I was with Stefan? Was everything we were together just a game to you to piss off your brother?"

"You know nothing." He shouted standing up as well. Elena took a step closer to her until he towered over her and she invaded his space in the same way he frequently did to others, giving a smirk as his eyes darted away for a beat in discomfort.

"Don't I? All I know is that you came to town and tormented your brother and flirted with me for years, and now that I freely give it to you, you suddenly don't want it. To anyone who wasn't an ass that would look like you were just playing with me." She shouted back.

Damon began to seethe, should could tell by the fire inside his blue eyes and the way he clenched his jaw. Most anyone else would be terrified of him in this way. Even Stefan was cautious when Damon's temper flared as he knew the damage he could cause. But Elena had never been afraid of him, not for a moment, and if there was any time to prove that, it was now so she continued to stand there, eyes glowering at him in return with her arms crossed defiantly over her chest waiting.

"Is it payback for Tabitha?" Elena ventured to break the long tense silence that had been suffocating the room.

As if a bucket of water had been tossed on his head, Damon's face completely fell and he somehow became paler than he already was. For a moment Elena thought she had gone too far. Bringing up his former fiancé might not be the brightest ideas, but she didn't take it back. She was in a sink or swim situation with Damon and she would use anything in her arsenal to save him.

"Payback?" Damon asked confused, his eyes softening in sadness.

"It doesn't take a genius to connect the dots Damon. I saw the memory of you two, you loved her so much, the fact that she isn't here with you now means that something must have happened." She explained, hoping she was on the right track. "It's obvious Katherine must have done something to her. Katherine played you for over a century and half and you're pissed about it."

"How could I not? How could anyone not be?" He stated despondently.

"Exactly. Katherine is too strong for you to exact revenge on, so you do the next best thing. You take it out on an exact carbon copy of her."

Damon's face twisted in anger as he closed the few inches between them, grabbing ahold of her forearms so tightly that if she were human she was sure they'd be bruised or broken. For a split second she was frightened, his rage has never been so focused on her before and she could see why the others were scared while he was in this state, but she calmed her heart and looked directly up into his fiery blue eyes.

"It was never about Katherine." He bit out. "Or Tabitha. It was always about you, Elena. It will always be you."

"You have a funny way of showing it." She challenged back. Damon appeared to take a few calming breaths as he blinked away some of his rage. When he seemed to compose himself he rubbed the palm of his hands gently along her arms where he had gripped her tightly before moving them up to her neck and her chin, tilting it up to look directly into his eyes.

"It was always about you Elena." He said softly and calmly. "No matter what I felt for Tabitha or Katherine, it is nothing compared to what I feel for you. You are the air I breathe. You in every thought I have. You consume my entire being."

"Than fight for us." She whispered back just as softly, unable to stop the tear that slipped from the corner of her eye.

Damon continued to hold her like that, his eyes fluttering up and down from her eyes to her lips. Elena slipped her tongue out briefly to moist them in anticipation of his next move as her heart beat wildly in her chest so quickly it was almost painful. He lowered his head, bringing his lips closer to hers and she let her eyes flutter shut in pleasure at the feel of his breath upon her own.

"You don't understand the power you have over me." He whispered. "You could completely destroy me so easily."

"What is the point of love and life if you don't take risks?" She said back. "I have no intent on destroying you Damon, only to love you."

With that Damon closed the remaining distance between them and finally kissed her. Elena's breath seemed to still as her body tingled and reacted, wrapping her arms around him the best she could to bring him closer to her. She never wanted him to stop, she had never felt so alive till Damon kissed her and she understood what he meant that she consumed him, because he consumed her too. He caused a fire in her chest that never seems to extinguish and she never wanted it too. She wanted it to burn forever being tended to by Damon.

Hungrily she parted her lips, deeping the kiss as his hands released her chin and his fingers raked through her hair, grabbing it tightly in a fist that should have been painful but only served to fuel her more. She fought the urge to just rip his clothes off and prove to him physically just how much she wanted him, but the thought quickly disappeared at the thought of sharing the same bed he did with Katherine.

She did of some standard after all.

Soon the kisses began to slow, becoming less frantic than before. Her body sang and began to burn from the intensity of Damon. She knew she had missed it, there was no doubt about it but she missed it more than she even though now that she was experiencing it again.

Finally she was able to pull away from him regretfully, breathing hard as she looked up at him beaming that he was in the same state as she was pleased her to no end.

"Let's go Damon." She said reaching behind her and grabbing both his hands tightly in hers. But Damon shook his head and her heart fell again.

"I can't Elena. Too much has happened." He told her sadly, but Elena held tightly to his hands.

"There is nothing in this world that we can't fix if we work together Damon." She said adamantly. "If you're going to give up at least make an effort first."

Damon gave a patient smile at her optimism and she gave him an innocent one in return. "And just how do you expect us to work through this Ms. Gilbert. I have issues so old, my issues must have issues." He teased her and she let out bright laugh before pretending to think for a second.

"Well, you know therapy has come a long way since the 19th century." She replied cheekily.

***((***))***


	26. Chapter 26

**A/N: Please read the note at the bottom. Thank you to these people for reviewing and those who are reading it, i'm glad you've been enjoying it.**

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Chapter 26

Everything was raw. Every sound, every ounce of light, every nerve in his body. This clothes felt heavy on him and his head felt it was going to explode. It was what he imagined it was like when he first turned. It had been so long ago he had forgotten but now that it was happening again it was very distinct. He felt disoriented and slightly nauseous as he sat rigid on the couch in his uncle's library. He wanted to ask what they were doing there but at the same time he just wanted silence so he kept his questions to himself.

Waking up had been a disorienting affair. The last thing he remembered was sitting in a huge library while Stefan and Elena tried to explain what was happening. He didn't understand, it didn't make any sense. The library he was in was vast. It was hands down the biggest library he had ever been in and the academic inside of him wanted nothing more than to just go through all the books. But from what Elena and Stefan were explaining to him, all the books were actually his memories?

Damon had no idea what they were talking about, and the loud growling from across the room didn't help his attention. The two most important people in his life weaved through an unimaginable tale of traveling through his memories, trying to find pieces of him to open the door he was behind. They had handed him the book and he stared down at the hard cover with indifference, overwhelmed by everything.

The last things he could remember was Katherine breaking is heart and running away. He remembered endless loneliness and sorrow as he wandered aimlessly wishing for death. They claimed the found him at Gettysburg and he had felt his heart stop. He had never gone there even after he turned. The knowledge of what he had done still haunted him and he had avoided it like the plague.

They told him of apparitions of himself in various ages as they traveled through his memory. He looked around the library expecting to see what but no other version of himself existed there, only himself. They tried inquiring on what was happening to him while he was locked his old room. Damon couldn't answer. Everything had been painful, both physically and mentally. It was if his body was relieving every pain brought upon it throughout its long life as well as the mental and emotional torment he had ever gone through. And as if that weren't enough, his mind betrayed him by creating new fears, new torments including failing both Elena and Stefan while they gave into the blood lust.

He had been distant and numb throughout the entire tale. Damon could tell from the looks they exchanged with each other that both Stefan and Elena were still very concerned about him, probably fearful that he would retreat back to the room. He had tried to give them a reassuring smile, to try to ease their minds but he couldn't muster much of one and instead just lowered his eyes back to the book on his lap.

In a blink of eye after that he was staring up at the ceiling of an unknown world, every bit of him in pain as he quickly closed his eyes tight and curled in on himself covering his ears from the loud sounds that seemed to echo around the room. Everything moved in a blur then until now when he found himself in his uncle's library.

"Damon?" Elena whispered next to him and he winced at the sound. She had barely breathed his name and yet it was as if she were shouting in his ear. He didn't respond to her, just continued to stare into a darkened corner. He felt her rub a soothing hand on his arm, it felt like sandpaper against his skin as she stood up and placed a kiss on his crown, it felt like he was hit with a mallet.

She left him then without another word, each step out of the library causing him to wince as the sound reverberated throughout his skull. It was becoming unbearable, as he covered his ears once more and tried to bury his head in his legs. But nothing worked, nothing made it better. Damon wanted to cry out in pain and scream in fury at it but he couldn't utter a single sound as just the sound of his own heart beat hurt him as it pounded in his undead body.

The others were whispering about him in the other room, he could hear them as if they were next to him. He heard his name and heard the worry in their voice but he just wanted them to shut up and stop thinking so loud. He tried to tune them out, he didn't want to hear their mutterings but nothing he did worked and he let out a soft cry in pain.

He didn't know how long he sat there. Time had seemed so irrelevant for so long that he couldn't keep track. It could have been hours or minutes or even seconds but whatever the length he couldn't take it any longer and with surprising speed, even for a vampire, he went around the room closing windows, curtains, putting out the fire in the fireplace and shutting doors. His senses were overwhelmed and he just wanted it dark and silent, just for a few minutes to allow him to think.

With one window left on the far side of the large room, Damon sped over to it, placing his hand on the top of the sill to push it down and closed when he paused.

There was a scent in the air. It was sweet and strong but it was somehow not as overpowering or overwhelming as everything else around him. He closed his eyes and inhaled deeply, his senses protesting at the overload but the sweet scent became stronger. Opening his eyes he felt the veins under his eyes flutter as his fangs descended painfully and without a second thought he was out in the warm sunlight following the beautiful perfumed scent.

Damon found himself in a large garden that was overgrown with weeds and critters. He weaved in and out of the taw grass quickly, still on the trail. He was no longer in command of his body as it moved on instinct until it came to a sudden stop in front of a man.

The unknown man startled as Damon came up behind him and he screamed as Damon grabbed hold of his neck. The scream pierced Damon's ear but he paid it no mind as he quickly dug his fangs into the man's neck and the first taste of his blood touched his lips.

It was nirvana. The taste was incomparable to anything else on the planet and Damon gripped the man tight to himself and bit further into his jugular. The man screamed and squirmed as hard as a human could but it was no match for a vampire and Damon soon drank him dry until there was nothing left to give.

He released the man's body, ignoring it as it fell into a heavy heap at his feet. Eyes closed still Damon raised his face to the sun, no longer feeling the burn of its rays as the world seemed to silence at last he took a few deep breaths to get his equilibrium only to pause as he smelled the scent again.

"Damon!" Elena's voice shouted nearby and his eyes snapped open to see her staring wide eyed at him, mouth a gap with Stefan and Caroline right behind her. He cocked his head to the side curiously, opening his mouth to say something but nothing came out. He tried a few more times but stopped as the sound of a quick heart beat hit his ears and he turned his head to the other side to trace it, and within the blink of an eye, Damon Salvatore had disappeared.

***((***))***

"How's he doing?" Caroline asked her as Elena exited the library. She gave a small smile and indicated they should go into the kitchen. She busied herself with tidying up, not that there was much to do with Caroline around but it made her feel like she was doing something. "Elena?" Caroline prodded after a few minutes of silence.

Elena sighed and turned around towards the table, crossing her arms over her chest as she bit her lower lip. She didn't know what to say. It was not going as she expected. She was spared having to answer as Stefan came in the back door with a cooler in his hand. He had gone out to a blood bank to grab a fresh supply as Damon was uninterested in what they had, and Stefan had been concerned. They had been giving him a mix of animal blood and human blood and the minimal amount to keep him manageable. On top of all the time they spent in his mind, they figured he would be starving, but as Caroline placed a mug of warm blood in front of him, he just curled in on himself further.

Stefan thought it was because it wasn't as fresh. Damon was somewhat of a blood snob.

"Has he eaten?" Stefan asked placing the cooler on the table. Elena shook her head and Stefan tiredly sat down in a nearby chair.

"I don't understand. I didn't expect him to jump back into being Damon, but, he seems so closed in on himself." Elena sniffed.

"I don't know Elena." Stefan sighed. "I don't think we really ever will. All we can do is be there."

Elena opened her mouth to reply but a scream from outside stopped her as the three vampires all stood at alert. With a quick glance at each other they sped out through the side door and followed the sound to the garden they were having renovated when they came upon Damon.

Elena stopped in her place as Damon dropped the man without a care and tilted his head up towards the sun in delight. Blood covered his clothes, face, arms, anywhere it could have splattered making it appear as if he had bathed in it. The sight frightened her. She had seen Damon feed on a human before but he was always in control. This was anything but.

"Damon!" She gasped out and he turned towards her. His pupils were wide and red as he gazed blankly at her. She wasn't sure what to say after that, after having his attention. Her voice didn't seem to work and by the time she was able to say something it was too late, Damon had disappeared.

"Damon!" Elena shouted and was about to chase after him when she stopped in her place and turned back to Stefan and Caroline as they stood frozen behind her. "Where is Jeremy?" She asked alarmed and Caroline raised her hands quickly to calm her.

"I sent him away, he'll be okay." She said soothingly. "I wasn't sure how Damon would react so I forced him to visit my mom until I call."

"Forced?"

"Compelled." Caroline replied unapologetically.

Elena gave a momentary sigh of relief before taking off after Damon. She wasn't exactly sure on where he was going but she followed the scent of blood as the best bet. She had ran for about a mile when she came upon the first corpse and she paused in her steps horrified. The woman's eyes were still open, fear pouring from them still and her mouth was open wide in a silent scream. Elena felt her heart drop and knew she should take care of the body but instinct told her she should follow Damon instead.

She continued on, running through vast wooded area that surrounded the small town of Carlisle. She paused briefly as she came upon another corpse, and then another and another, her stomach dropping at each one. She came to a full stop as she came to a camp ground just 10 miles outside of town and felt her stomach heave.

There were bodies everywhere, with blood soaking the ground. Elena felt her knees go weak and she dropped to the ground covering her mouth to muffle the scream that was trying to come out. There had to be at least thirty people. Men, women, children. It looked to be some kind of family gathering with a picnic potluck and bbq grill still smoking. She couldn't move from her spot so she just sat there on the ground, staring as tears fell quickly down her pale cheeks until Stefan came to a sudden stop behind her.

"Oh my god." Was his only words.

***((***))***

Damon ran and he felt free. The wind whipping past him as he dodged flora and fauna alike made him feel so alive like he hadn't felt in a very long time. He could feel the blood of his victims coursing through him letting him feel full and it made his skin tingle and warm.

All the pain was gone. He was no longer overwhelmed by his senses, leaving him a feeling of euphoria.

The sun had set some time ago leaving a crescent moon to shine down upon him as he ran through the forest. He didn't know how long he'd been running or how far but it didn't matter. All that mattered was that he was free, he was healed, and he felt good.

***((***))***

There was nothing Stefan could really do to cover up the murders. There were too many of them. He stood to the side of the wooded area next to Elena and Caroline as they watched the police and medical examiners collect the bodies and process the scene.

Between the three of them they were able to compel the police and those at the scene that it was a vicious animal attack by a pack of coyotes. Even to Stefan's ears it sounded like a cover up but they were able to disguise Damon's bite marks so no one would consider it a vampire. They'd come back later after everything is done and clean the place of any further evidence.

The other bodies along the trail Caroline had buried as she followed behind them. Stefan was sure nobody would find them so he was counting that as a win, but still things were looking very grim. Damon had just killed 35 people and now he was nowhere to be found. He would be an idiot to not to admit that he was somewhat frightened of what the future holds.

After the police released them they headed back into the woods the way they came, walking in a steady pace in the dark. The scent of blood still permeated the air and Stefan had to fight to keep himself under control. With Damon and Caroline's help he had been able to start drinking human blood, but he still had to fight the bloodlust. It was a battle he supposed he'd have to deal with for as long as he existed, but the feeling of strong and in control was something he would never give up.

Caroline reached for his hand as they walked side by side, entwining their fingers. He looked over to her with a smile and she returned it with sad eyes. He was so appreciative of her. She had no reason to help Damon and yet here she has been the whole time by their side because he was important to both him and Elena. She was the definition of a best friend.

Stefan wondered when all this would be over. It felt like he was taking one step forward then two steps back with Damon and he could see the toll it was taking on Elena. She had been strong through everything, but with each passing step he could tell she was beginning to falter.

Following silently behind her with Caroline's hand gripped tightly in his, Stefan looked up at the crescent moon above and made a silent plea to Damon to come back.

***((***))***

Jeremy walked through the graveyard quietly, trying not to make any disturbances. He knew it was stupid what he was doing but it was better that he go then let Bonnie find out.

He had been sitting in a booth at the Mystic Grill, playing with the remaining fries on his plate when Tyler came in and headed right towards him. Jeremy was surprised to see him as Tyler had sided with Matt and Bonnie about the vampires leaving Mystic Falls.

"Hey." Tyler said as he approached him. He looked around the room quickly before sitting down in the seat across from him, clasping his hands.

"What do you want?" Jeremy asked sourly. Tyler had been a real friend to him the past year but he had felt betrayed that he had wanted to kick Elena out of their hometown.

"I came to warn you, there's a vampire in town." Tyler told him, his eyes anywhere but on Jeremy.

"And, so?"

"So you should probably check it out before Bonnie or Matt gets wind." Tyler suggested, and without any further word he left as quickly as he appeared.

Jeremy had been confused at the warning as he was sure that if there were any vampire around they would quickly neutralize it, but after a second thought he quickly got up from the booth, placing a twenty down to settle his bill and ran out to his car to grab some gear.

The only reason he could reason that Tyler would warn him instead of just taking care of it, was the vampire was someone they knew. Jeremy drove around for a bit, looking for any sign, and not seeing any he headed over to the Salvatore Boarding house. Parking outside the large mansion Jeremy got out of the car and looked up at the big house. Everything was dark and quiet, and by the looks of things, the only disturbances around was from him and the sheriff when they come to check on the place.

Giving an annoyed sigh Jeremy turned back to his car, and placed his cross bow in the passenger seat. He stared at it for a moment, wondering what the hell he was doing. With Silas gone there was no need for hunters, and though he still felt it inside himself, he was pretty sure most of the curse, and that's how he viewed it, was gone.

Giving one last sigh he stepped back from the car and closed the door and turned around, jumping in surprise at the person who stood quietly behind him.

"Rick! What the hell." He gasped startled, his back hitting the side of the car.

"Sorry Jer." He said simply and gave a sad smile.

"Where have you been?" Jeremy asked saddened. "We could have used your help."

Alaric gave him a sadder smile but didn't reply and if Jeremy was honest he didn't expect him to. He knew Alaric felt that being around would hinder them more than help. He was dead and he couldn't do anything unless Jeremy was around to be a translator. And Jeremy knew that Rick wanted him to live his life.

"Hey Jeremy." Rick replied softly.

"Since you're here I'm guessing the vampire is Damon." Jeremy stated, not really needing an answer. Ricks presence was enough proof that he was right.

"He's in the graveyard. Talking to me."

"And yet you are here, talking to me instead." Jeremy joked, placing his keys in his pocket and heading out into the woods.

Rick followed beside him as they headed towards the old graveyard just outside Mystic Falls. It was a stupid thing to do, he knew, being as Jeremy was acutely aware of what roamed in the night in Mystic Falls, but somehow the presence of his former teacher and friend made him feel somewhat safe and secure.

"You should probably call Elena or Stefan." Rick suggested. "I can't really speak for his current state but we all know how Damon gets."

Jeremy gave a light Chuckle and reached for his phone in his pocket to send off a quick text to his sister and Damon's brother. The two had walked in silence the rest of the way, no words needed to be exchanged between the two. As they approached the graveyard Jeremy had tried to tread lightly, not wanting to startle a potentially dangerous creature.

He heard Damon before he saw him. The vampire seemed to be talking to thin air as nobody else was around, but Jeremy knew different. He had known that in the course of the year since Rick had died, Damon had come out there several times to converse with his head friend.

Jeremy glanced at Rick, noting the sad expression on his features and knowing that though they couldn't see him, Rick had always been there to listen. He couldn't even fathom really what Damon would reveal as whenever he stumbled upon the vampire he would quickly turn around and leave, not wanting to intrude. But from the sympathetic expression from his friend, Jeremy could surmise that it wasn't Damon's normal BS.

"Who's there?" Damon's voice floated to him, surprisingly not as hostile as Jeremy had expected.

"It's ok, tell him it's you." Rick advised next to him.

Jeremy gave another nod and took a few more steps out to leave the protection of the trees. "It's Jeremy." He said simply, stepping into view of Damon.

He met Damon's eyes, not sure what to expect but the vampire just met his gaze for a moment unblinkingly before relaxing back against the headstone he was resting on. Taking that as a sign Jeremy took several more steps towards him until he was standing directly across from him.

"Don't worry Jer, he won't hurt you." Rick advised next to him, and though the words seemed unlikely somehow he believed them.

Sitting down on the tombstone behind him Jeremy took in Damon's appearance. He hadn't been there when he had woken up, being compelled by Caroline to go visit her mom. He was angry that she had done that but he understood why. There was no telling what state Damon would come out of, if he did at all, and both Stefan and Elena hadn't fed since going in. Three ravenous vampires would be hard to control.

But spending time with the Sheriff had been a nice change. Though he did have an icy homecoming from his three former friends, spending time with humans again reminded him that he was not part of the supernatural world, and he resolved himself to putting himself more out into the human world again.

Jeremy put those thoughts aside for now though as he took in Damon's appearance. The normally immaculate vampire seemed haggard in some way. His clothes were different from when he last saw him but they were torn and covered with dirt and blood, and his face though still youthful and beautiful, at the same time showed every bit his 170+ years.

In essence Damon looked warily and tired, and Jeremy really couldn't blame him. He had thought long and hard about what being a vampire would mean since he had first learned of Anna's true origin, and after Damon had snapped his neck, Jeremy was determined to not become one. It was not a life that he would truly want. To him the life of a vampire was violent and lonely even when one had friends and family around. It was not a life for him.

"What are you doing here Damon?" Jeremy asked him. Damon looked up at him for a moment before training his eyes back on his friend's headstone.

"I needed a friend." He said simply. Jeremy looked over to Rick for what to say but the man remained ever silent.

"What about Elena?" He asked. "Or Stefan?"

"I can't go to them." Damon responded despondently and Jeremy frowned.

"How come?"

Damon remained silent and it stretched out for quite a bit. Jeremy wasn't sure if he would answer, and was even vaguely concerned that he had retreated inside himself again. He once again looked over to Rick for advice and the man finally stepped up and sat down on the ground next to his friend.

"Ask him what he did." Rick instructed.

"What did you do Damon?" Jeremy asked. "What would make you think you can't go to Elena."

Damon swallowed hard before looking to the side away from where Rick sat. Jeremy was tempted to tell him that his friend was sitting just to the right of him, but obviously Rick didn't want Damon to know he was there.

"I killed people." He admitted and Jeremy quirked a brow.

"That's not something new." He replied, jumping as Damon replied with a growl towards him. He knew it was the wrong thing to say when Rick rolled his eyes.

"Tell him why he killed them." Rick instructed again.

Jeremy inhaled deeply, letting it out slowly to help slow his heart rate. "How come you killed them? Were you confused?" He asked.

Damon shook his head, looking back down at the ground. "Everything was just too much. I wanted it all to stop but then I smelled it."

"It?"

"Blood." Rick answered for him and it made sense.

"I killed that man and the pain receded, but then Elena was behind me." Damon said. "She was so horrified. I couldn't take it."

"I don't believe she was horrified that you had killed someone Damon." Jeremy soothed, and he believed it. Before, yes she would be but the past few years of being around vampires and especially since she transitioned…she didn't like it, and avoided it like the plague but she did understand. From what Jeremy could gather though it's not something a human can fully grasp until they were in the situation of being a hungry vampire, but she accepted it.

"You don't understand." Damon stated grimly. "Your sister has the power to completely destroy me. I know it's wrong but all my humanity rests on her. I can't help it, she just, makes me want to be better. I had been so lost for so long and then here come Elena and everything is turned upside down."

"It's the same for her you know." Jeremy said easily, knowing it was the truth.

Damon barked out a laugh. "Hardly."

"It's true." Jeremy said firmly. "You all have Elena up on this crazy pedestal but she's no different from everyone else, she's just more vocal about her point of view and what she finds right and wrong. And to be honest that line she believes is becoming more and more blurry as time goes on. Sometimes I swear the only thing that holds her together is you."

"How?" Damon asked gravely, but Jeremy could see that he had Damon's complete attention, and the encouraging smile from Rick told him he was on the right path.

"Because she sees you and knows that control is possible. That she doesn't have to be a vicious killer." He explained truthfully. "But the most important thing is that she knows if she messes up or goes too far you will be there to catch her and put her back."

"What if I fail Jeremy? What if I fail your sister and she turns out worse than Stefan?" Damon asked. "There's a reason old vampires are hard to come by. It's because they can't take it and they get caught or end their own lives."

"Wouldn't know they're rare from crap around here." Rick mumbled causing Jeremy to chuckle a bit.

"Well if that's her path than that's it but you can't just assume that is what will happen. You can't just give up before you even try. For all you know you two have a hundred or more years of pure bliss together. Are you really going to give up on the possibility of happiness just because there's a chance it will all go to hell?"

Damon sat in silence contemplating what Jeremy had said. He hoped he was able to get through to Damon, the consequences of not were too great. He knew in his heart that if Damon were to leave in any way Elena would not be far behind. His sister was dead, she had died when she drowned and they lost their last parental figure. But he was lucky, and he knew it, that she was still around at least in some form. Jeremy was under no delusion that the loss of Damon would cause Elena to fade away, and he wanted her to stay for as long as he could keep her. They had both had far too much loss in their lives and as Damon was her anchor, she was his.

"He needs a friend." Rick said solemnly. "He doesn't trust easily, but once you have it, he's not someone you want to let go of."

Jeremy nodded in understanding, watching the vampire.

"He spent a lot of time here before. He would just talk." He said. "I don't think he's ever had a real friend before me."

Nodding again Jeremy got his message, he wanted Jeremy to try to be friends with Damon. It was a task that was no doubt going to be taxing and exhausting but Jeremy believed Rick. Once you had Damon's trust, he would do anything for you. It was something he had witnessed over and over again since he and Elena had become friends, and even to some extent Caroline.

Jeremy's phone beeped, startling him from his thoughts. He looked towards Damon who didn't seem to notice and then glanced towards Rick only to see that he was no longer there. His heart sank, he longed to talk to him again, but he understood Rick's position.

Taking his phone out of his pocket he glanced down and read the text. It was from Stefan telling him they were on their way to the boarders of Mystic Falls to pick him up. He gave a smile to his phone before putting it back into his pocket and standing up.

"Come on Damon, we gotta get you out of Mystic Falls. All vampires have been officially kicked out." He said and Damon looked up at him.

"Not all, the mutt is still around." He jeered. "I can smell him. It's like a wet dog that's been rolling in their own crap."

Jeremy gave a hearty laugh and reached his hand out for the vampire who took it without hesitation. Once he was up they stood in front of the grave marker that was the remaining symbol of their friend.

"I miss him you know." Damon admitted, surprising Jeremy. "I had always figured that I would lose them both someday. Rick before Elena obviously, but I never thought I'd have to lose one to keep the other."

"I know. It's not an easy pill to swallow." Jeremy agreed, furrowing his brow. "But you should have known you would have gotten Elena. I suppose it was inevitable that she would someday turn."

"No." Damon disagreed. "I would have done anything I could to have kept her human. She never wanted this."

Jeremy gave a surprised glance at Damon, not expecting that. "You would have given up my sister?"

"Elena never wanted to be a vampire. She wanted to grow up, grow old. She wanted to have a family and a life." Damon responded knowingly.

"And you would have been fine with that?"

"Of course not." Damon scoffed. "But it's what she had wanted and I would have done anything to give it to her."

"I don't know what to say to that." Jeremy admitted. It was no secret that despite his affections for his sister, Damon Salvatore was a selfish man.

"There's nothing to say lil' Gilbert. I've lived a long time, and I figured…that would be about the time to finally give in."

"To die?" he asked surprised again.

Damon gave a tired sigh and reached his arm around Jeremy's shoulder and began to guide him out of the grave yard. "I died in 1864 mini Gilbert. I've just been a beautiful corpse since."

"That's really gross dude."

***((***))***

 **A/N: There will be one more chapter to wrap it up (unless i screw myself over again). Feel free to tell me what questions need answering so I can include it in the wrap up.**

 **Also I have a short chapter's worth of "rejected sections" Which is basically me trying to write a chapter but deciding to go a different direction. If you have any interest I can post it after the last chapter, but let me know, i don't want to post it if no one really cares.**


	27. Epilogue(new)

**A/N: Ok ok, i HATED how I left it and it sounds like a lot of you did too. Ending stories is something I still need to work on but I added another section to wrap it up. Still not the best but I feel less guilty. Enjoy! Thank you all who reviewed.**

Epilogue

Damon laid atop the covers of the large for poster bed and stared up at the beautiful ornate ceiling. It was beautifully designed with a mixture of carved wood and painted canvas' that lined the top of the walls. The room was big and spacious, uncluttered by useless pieces of furniture or objects. It was how he always liked his living spaces to be, but somehow it felt a little different.

It felt empty.

The room seemed lifeless and unlived aside from a few articles of clothing strung around the room, from Elena of course as Damon would never just place clothing on the floor. Though obviously the others hadn't been in the house that long, it was still unnerving a bit. Thinking back on his beloved room at the Salvatore Boarding house, he can't remember anything of Elena's really being around. Though he knows from a few years of being in her room that she loved having her own space but she had never branched out once she moved in with him.

"Damon, are you okay?" Her voice floated to him from the door.

Damon turned his head that rested on a comfortable pillow and looked over at her. He couldn't stop his heart from fluttering as he took in her beauty and regret began to fill his chest at his earlier actions. He could see the horror written all over her face as she and Stefan came to collect him from her brother. He wondered if that was it and she would finally be done with him. She had so much humanity that he sometimes fear it would drive her mad, but she didn't say anything.

It had been a long drive back to Pennsylvania, and Damon had spent most of the time in his own head as he watched the scenery pass. He felt so out of sorts and removed from everything. He wanted to ask what had been happening, how he missed so much of the world passing him but no words would come out and he just felt tired.

"I want you to decorate the room." He said suddenly and Elena furrowed her brow in confusion. Damon sat up then, staring at her with complete seriousness. "This is your place too. I want you to feel at home."

Elena's expression softened as she picked up on what he was telling her and she came closer to the bed, sitting down beside him. Damon wanted to reach over and run his fingers through her soft locks and wrap his body around her so he could feel what little warmth she produced. He had a desperate feeling of needing the feeling of someone else to keep him anchored, but he resisted and just looked back down to the bed.

"What brought that on?" She asked him curiously and he looked up again into her deep brown eyes. He expected to see some kind of loathing or fear but all he saw was love and compassion and he didn't understand.

"I want you to feel comfortable here. I want you to know that what you want and have matters." He explained further.

"I do know that Damon." She replied warmly. "I appreciate that you told me though. With everything's that happened since my parents died, I think the lack of attachments comforted me. Like, if I didn't have anything, I couldn't lose anything."

"You're preaching to the choir. It's how I felt my entire life. Both mortal and immortal." He confessed, surprised at how easy it was. Damon wasn't one to share information easily, he liked to keep everything about himself very closed off. But something about Elena always made him feel at ease, always made him feel safe to confide anything to her.

"I saw." She said softly, looking down at her hands.

Damon took her hands in his directing her eyes to him. He didn't want her to feel sadness for him. He could have changed a long time ago but he continued on with how it's always been. With a world that was ever changing while he was frozen in time, habits were formed and kept with a vice grip.

"But I want it to change." He confessed. "I want to build a life with you, if you'll let me."

Elena's face brightened and his heart lifted. He was expecting a sick feeling of anticipation in his gut but nothing came, only happiness and it frightened him a little.

"We have an eternity to do so Damon." She said. "Well…providing you stop pissing people off."

Damon let out a laugh. "No promises."

"I have something for you." Elena said quietly, pausing for a moment before hopping off the bed.

Damon watched as she retrieved and object from a hidden area. She swiped her hand across it a couple times gently, wiping away what dust lay upon it before bringing it over to him. Damon smiled at the sight of the box, relief filling him. He hadn't even had time to think about it yet.

"This is how I knew you weren't gone." She said as she placed it in front of him. "I knew you wouldn't leave without it. I told Stefan and he didn't really believe me."

"Yeah well, Stefan finds anything about me hard to believe, unless it's about me being difficult." He chuckled as he reached for the box. He held it tightly in his hands, smiling slightly at the familiar weight of it.

"I didn't open it." She told him and he looked up at her surprised. Though he knew he shouldn't have been. Elena was one who would understand the importance of the box to him and would respect his privacy.

"Would you like to see what's inside?" He asked softly, letting out a light laugh as Elena tried to contain her excited curiosity with some dignity.

Damon lifted the lid off the box and he heard Elena hold her breath as he placed it down on the soft bedding. Carefully he picked up the things inside, most which were yellow with age and handed them over to Elena. She stared at them for a few moments in her lap before picking up the first piece of paper and unfolding it.

"It's from Stefan!" She exclaimed astonished reading the letter. Damon smiled softly and laid back against the pillows again leaving her to it, having complete trust in her to care for his precious artifacts.

Time passed, how much he didn't know until Elena tapped his leg to get his attention and he sat up again. She turned a photo around and Damon glanced upon it, seeing a woman in a large hoop skirt sitting on the ground next to a young boy with pitch black hair and a younger boy in her lap.

"Is this your mother?" She asked softly and he took the picture from her staring at it.

"This was taken by my uncle who had come to visit." Damon explained. "Father, wasn't big on photographs. It was still new at that time and he didn't like new things unless he did his own research. I remember it took forever. Stefan didn't like to hold still for long."

"Most of this is letters from Stefan." She commented indicating the open parchments in front of her.

There were many as Stefan and he did communicate, albeit rarely through post over the centuries. No matter where they were in their relationship, Damon couldn't bear to throw the letters out. Many had gone unanswered by himself, not being able to bring himself to respond, but he kept them as they reminded him that he was human once, and though he was lost from it most of the time, something inside of him begged him to keep the small tokens.

"Stefan has always been my humanity." He replied putting the picture back in the box. He had never admitted that out loud before. "No matter what state of mind he was in, whether he was a ripper not, he was always my brother, my family."

"We saw a lot of what you did for him that he didn't even know about. You would clean up after his ripper binges." Elena stated. "He's always thought you hated him, that you were angry with him."

"I couldn't let anything happen to him Elena." He said pleadingly. He needed her to understand why he did what he did. Why he would protect his brother so.

"You should have told him."

Damon nodded. "He knows now."

They sat in silence as Damon repacked the box full of his most treasured possessions. They were become frail with age and he began thinking he should put the box away permeantly in a safety deposit box.

"What do we do now?" Elena asked with a wary sigh.

Damon gave a small smile and grabbed her hand holding it tightly. "Well, now we spend the rest of eternity figuring that out."

***((***))***

Time passed quickly after they picked Damon up from Mystic Falls. After a farewell to Jeremy with a promise to have Caroline call him to let him come back, Stefan and Elena drove Damon back to Carlisle. The ride had been uncomfortably silent the whole time with Damon sitting in the back staring out the window in his own world while Elena tried to hide her concern for him.

After they arrived at the large house that once belonged to his uncle, Stefan remained sitting in the car as Elena took Damon inside. He wasn't sure how long he sat there, staring straight ahead in the darkness that surrounded them. He was lost in his own mind, his own memories on what had happened in Damon's head.

It had seemed as if they were in there for days if not longer but it had only been about a day. It was difficult to go through Damon's memories, to discover things he never knew. He had so many questions for him that he needed to be answered. He had never thought that his brother would have been following him around throughout the centuries. They had been nothing but enemies since Stefan had forced him turn, a mistake that he both regretted and was thankful for. He was under no delusion that if he had Let Damon die that night, he would not have survived much longer.

A tap at the window startled him and he looked towards the passenger's side to see Caroline hunched over peering in at him. He gave her a wane smile as she opened the door and got in the seat next to him so gently the care barely moved. Once she was settled Stefan reached out and grabbed her hand in his, holding it tightly.

"Are you alright?" She asked concerned and Stefan gave her a sideways smile. That was a loaded question that he wasn't quite sure he could answer.

"Not yet." He admitted.

"Are you going to be alright?" She pressed and he turned fully towards her.

"I don't know. Everything's changed."

Everything had changed, more than he even realized at the time. In the course of a few years Stefan had regained the brother he had remember and then almost lost him again, all because of a girl breaking his heart. It frightened him even now with Damon back in his own mind of what would happen if in the end Elena would choose to not be with Damon. Would his brother once again fall broken hearted and shatter his heart. Stefan wasn't sure he would be able to save him again.

It also frightened Stefan on how entangled all their lives were, how much they depended on each other. Aside from Lexi as his best friend and Damon, his brother who hated him someplace in the world, Stefan had been alone through most of his life. He never depended on anyone, and he didn't want anyone to really depend on him because of his ripper tendencies. Now however he could easily see the thread that had been weaved between them that it frightened him.

"Everything's changed but everything's the same as well. It's not possible to keep everything the same." Caroline said sympathetically.

"You know if one loses the other we'll lose them too." Stefan said softly, staring out the windshield, not wanting to continue, unable to vocalize his fear.

"Well, that's what makes us all different from other vampires." Caroline said and Stefan turned to face her curiously. "We all have some kind of expiration date. We're connected to each other and need each other to survive."

Stefan thought on that, and she was right. Damon and Elena wouldn't survive if the other weren't around, and while Stefan loved Caroline and he genuinely believed that she was his one true love, he wasn't sure how well he would fair without his brother. Damon had been there in some shape or form since he was born, he had never been in a world where his brother wasn't in it, and he wasn't sure he could face eternity without him. It was part of what drove him to force Damon to turn.

"What do you mean "we" though?" He finally asked and she gave him a smile.

"Well, Elena's my best friend, and I know you would fade. I don't want to be alone Stefan." She confessed. "I'm far too social and neurotic, I would not survive on my own. If it weren't for you helping me in the beginning I know I wouldn't have made it."

"I doubt that." he said confidently.

"You may doubt it but I know the truth. I would do alright for a little bit but then I'd get lonely and depressed watching everyone we know grow old and die." She looked out the window and Stefan could see a tear sliding down her cheek as she thought about the future. He knew that she missed her mother terribly and she was well aware she only had a limited time with her. Them being banned from their home was worse for Caroline then any of them.

"We'll just have to treat each day like it's our last then." Stefan stated firmly. "Like mortals do."

That was exactly what they did. They stopped sitting still (metaphorically of course) and began to live. They lived for the day.

Damon had to Stefan's astonishment actually started theory. They found a witch who was also a psychiatrist and he had phone appointments twice a week. His behavior had changed from the constantly anger vampire he had been since he turned and fully began to become the Damon Salvatore that had been his brother. The kind gentle man who had cared for him growing up.

Stefan had left Damon in Elena's care at first. He seemed to need her more at the moment than he needed Stefan so he left her to it. Damon stayed in the room he shared with her for weeks after he came back. He would lie on the bed on his side and stare off into space, looking vacant. It would frighten them that he had gone back inside himself but then he would blink a few times and come back to them, allowing them to sigh in relief.

Stefan stopped by several times a day with warmed up blood for Damon, and while Jeremy was back with them, the other three vampires decided to forgo letting other humans in the house. It wasn't because Damon was out of control, he was very much in control at the moment, but it was just something they didn't want to risk. Elena was already upset over the group of people Damon had slaughtered, so to keep the peace they tried to live humanless.

Jeremy turned out to be good for Damon much to Stefan's surprise. It wasn't unusual to come upstairs with Damon's warm blood to see Jeremy sitting in a chair across from the bed chatting to Damon as if they were old friends. It was a bafflement and the expression from Elena as she watched by a newly placed desk by the window stated she felt the same way.

"Rick asked me to try to befriend Damon." Jeremy had stated nonchalantly over dinner one night when asked.

"And you just decided to comply?" he was questioned by Caroline.

Jeremy shrugged as he swallowed the food in his mouth. "Yeah well, he's a dick but at least he's honest about. And he's not too bad once you get to know him."

Through the years Damon and Jeremy would become the best of friends and drinking buddies with Damon promising on Jeremy's deathbed to always look after his family. It was a promise Damon took to heart and was fully involved in the lives of several generations of Gilberts with Elena by his side.

Bonnie had an accident a few years after the events involving Damon. The group had discussed going back to Mystic Falls but it was decided it would be best to stay away for a few decades.

Due to the wealth of the Salvatore's Caroline convinced her mother to retire early and the two of them created a sort of private investigation service. Caroline found it very difficult to work with her mouth as their personalities clashed but she never complained. Stefan knew that she was just thankful to have time with her mother, something he never had. Eventually the Sheriff passed away peacefully in her sleep and Damon donated a huge amount to the Mystic Falls police department in her honor.

Caroline had stayed with Stefan and he finally proclaimed his love for her. She had turned out to be his best friend and he never wanted to let her go. He had never felt that way in his entire life and Stefan wondered frequently if this was what love really felt like, true love.

The four vampires had many centuries together, traveling the world and watching it evolve. It was a wondrous thing to behold, but like all things, this too had to come to an end. And finally the four became tired and wary and it was time for them to pass on. With the other side gone, the hope of peace was enticing. So on the last day of summer they spent the day enjoying the sun one last time and all night with their partners, then sat on the roof of what remained of the Salvatore boarding house.

And with the rising sun, they all perished and passed on in peace.

The End.


	28. Shatterd Pieces Rejected Sections

**A/N: Sorry here are the rejected sections. These are basically parts that I was writing but decided not to use.**

 **Also...You may want to check out the Epilogue...I wrote more and added it so hopefully it'll give better closure.**

 **Thank you all who enjoyed the story.**

The 'Chapters" obviously what chapter they were intended for. Enjoy.

Chapter 10

For a vampire time usually passes by quickly. When you have eternity to live, day to day life passes without notice. Soon, days become weeks, then months, then years, and before they blink an entire decade has gone by. Or at least that's the way time was supposed to feel to him.

Instead Stefan felt every passing moment as it appeared to drag out. Blinking at the date on his phone he could hardly believe that it's only been three weeks since they've retrieved his brother from the cemetery in Gettysburg. To Stefan it felt much longer, like, years longer.

Sitting up from his bed, he placed his feet firmly on the ground and rubbed his face with both his hands, trying to erase the wariness that he felt. He was forever trapped in the body of a seventeen year old but recently Stefan had felt like an old man and he didn't think that feeling was going to go away anytime soon.

"Wake up Stefan, Damon needs to feed." Elena's voice said loudly through his closed door as she knocked hard. She didn't wait for an answer from him and as he heard her retreating form walk down the stairs back to the third floor.

It was the same thing every day. Stefan would wake up slowly, groaning and despondent until Elena would come up to the attic where he had claimed his room, far away from everything else in the house and pound on his door to be sure he was awake, reminding him of Damon as if he could somehow forget. She would than traipse down the stairs back into the house, doing what he didn't know, nor did he really care as he tried to muster up the energy and will to get moving.

A shower was usually next and he always stayed in as long as he could, letting the hot water just drain down his body as if it could wash away all their troubles. But inevitably Elena would come back up the stairs to his private attic sanctuary and pound on the door again to get him moving and the water would be shut off.

While he dressed and begun the trek downstairs he would always reconsider the agreement he had practically forced Elena into about not going into the cell room unless he was there. There was no doubt that Elena, now a vampire could take care of herself but he didn't trust that she would fight in the way she would need to defend herself from Damon, and he wasn't sure that Damon wouldn't kill her. So he made her agree to not go into the room unless he was there on the other side to help ensure everyone's safety.

Her disgruntled annoyance at his words had just furthered his point and eventually after some persuading from both Caroline and Jeremy, She had reluctantly agreed.

That's about the time the annoying wake up calls started.

"Hey you!" Caroline said cheerfully as Stefan walked into the kitchen. She stood by the coffee maker and handed him a large mug of freshly made coffee that smelled like heaven. He gave her a small tired smile as thanks and sat at the dining room table across from Jeremy who was ignoring his breakfast in order to draw.

He took a moment to really look at the only human in the house. He was all for Jeremy making his own decision, taking his own stand and coming with them. Stefan wanted Elena to have him nearby. Someone who was on her side and would keep her human in the coming years especially with Damon the way he was. But he would be a fool if he didn't worry a bit about him. He was the only human in a house of vampires, all who would protect him at any cost but could also be the reason for his death.

For his protection Elena had tried to talk him into enrolling into the local high school. She wanted him to have friends, and social activities. To have a life outside all the drama of the supernatural world, which even Caroline had scoffed at. Jeremy was too deep in and no matter how far out of it he go he would always be in the middle of some kind of supernatural drama. That's what happens when your sister is a vampire and you're a vampire hunter.

"Here's your breakfast." Caroline said placing another large mug in front of him full of blood. "Half animal half human, warmed to a perfect 98.1 degrees."

Stefan couldn't stop the smirk from crossing his face as he looked up at the cheery blond girl. It was the same routine every morning, the one routine that he could actually stand. He would return her smile with one of his own and they would stare at each other like love sick puppies until Jeremy made cleared his throat to break it or Elena came in all annoyed that he was still sitting there.

It was the latter today.

"You are the slowest Stefan. Damon's hungry, he needs to feed. Can't you drink that downstairs?" She pestered as she grabbed the mug and pulled Stefan's hand, dragging him out of his chair and towards the cellar door.

Once they were safely down the stairs, Elena handed him his mug back and blurred to the cell door with a cup in her hand staring through the window. Stefan came up behind her and peered in. Instead of the dark corner that he had spent his first few days in, scrunched up as close to himself as possible, he now sat in the same position but on the other side on the bed. Somehow Elena had coaxed him out of the corner to the bed, not liking that he was most likely uncomfortable and he barely left since.

Stefan watched his brother a few moments, feeling the others eyes flickering to him briefly but mainly focusing on Elena. She had been the only one to get near him without a fight. The first few days he would growl and hiss at her like an animal and she would slowly become submissive and unthreatening until he calmed enough to allow her a bit closer. Then she would repeat the same process she did on the first day, take a sip from the cup, being sure to get some on her lips and lick it off before putting it on the floor and pushing it towards him.

"He's looking pretty good this morning." Stefan commented, and it was true. Still pale and hostile, Damon's skin at least and turned smooth again and less desiccated since they'd been feeding him regularly.

"He looks hungry." Was her reply, moving to the side so he could start turning the many locks. Stefan did the first few but paused for a moment as he looked over at Elena, scowling a bit at her impatient expression.

"After you feed him we're going to need to talk Elena. I can't keep doing this." He told her.

"You're the one who said not to go in there unless you were here." Elena said as she quirked her brow and crossed her empty hand over her chest. Stefan shook his head, she obviously didn't get it. Didn't understand that it was for her safety and Damon's that he had pushed that.

"I mean we have to talk about this bitchy attitude of yours." He bit out. He didn't want to fight with her, it seemed like all they ever did was fight, but then he remembered the dejected face once again that morning and Elena dragged him, again, away so she could see Damon.

The way she had been acting the past three weeks was as if she were the only one who cared about Damon. As if his entire wellbeing was up to her and they were standing in her way and hindering her efforts.

Bad pIeces for Chapter 20.

"Alright you two, time to wake up." A male's voice came from nowhere and suddenly florescent lights above them turned on.

Elena took a step back alarmed as the familiar room came into focus as she felt her breath shorten. She had hoped to never see this place again after she was taken by Wes. She had wanted to come back to the Whitmore house to finish what Damon had started in 1958 and burn it to the ground. She wanted to decimate the cells until there was nothing left and no one, human or vampire could be imprisoned there again.

The two vampires in the cages let out pained weak groans as the lights burned upon them. Elena took a few quick steps towards Damon, stopping as she remembered it was just a memory. She peered inside through the bars as the doctor walked passed and into the room nearby. Damon lay with his back to her and her heart clinched at seeing the ratty white shirt that was ripe with age and the black pants that had seen better days.

She had only been in the cage for a few hours, Damon had been locked up for five years. She could see his initials and the year '53 carved out on one of the walls exactly as it had been in their present. Tears fell from her eyes at the wet shuddering sound as Damon took a deep breath and rolled over on his back, his skin tight and grey and papery looking.

"Oh joy, another day as a lab rat." Enzo said in the cage next to Damon's and she resisted the urge to bare her fangs and hiss at him. It was so primal the feelings that were inside of her. Everything inside her screamed to break down the cage and rush to Damon. To protect him from anything and anyone who would come to hurt him.

Damon didn't respond as he stared up at the brick ceiling unmoving. If it weren't for the unsteady rising and falling of his attempts at breath and the slow blinking of his now dull blue eyes she would think Damon was just a corpse. But he did have signs of life albeit very few and she was elated at that small fact.

"Hey mate, you still alive over there?" Enzo prodded. Elena could hear the slight worry in his voice and she glanced over at his cell.

"Do you know what today is?" Damon asked tiredly, unmoving.

"Considering I haven't a calendar mate I'm going to say no." Enzo replied.

Damon was silent for a few moments as if deep in thought, but Elena felt it was more like he was so weak he couldn't function correctly. "It's been 4 years." He said softly. "Four years since my great, great, great nephew betrayed me and sold me."

"Only four eh? Talk to me when you get to 50." Enzo said cheekily.

"I'm not going to make it that far Enzo so you'll have to live with four."

"Come on mate, feeling sorry for yourself won't help anything. It'll just make you extra mopey and I'm too tired to deal with that."

Elena watched as Damon stared at the ceiling for a few more minutes. He seemed so sad and lost. She could see his mind reeling, could see him become lost within his own mind and she felt scared. They were in his mind because he became lost, she didn't want him lost now.

"Alright I'll play your game." Enzo sighed. "You survived four years in this hell mate, how do you feel?"

"Grateful." Damon sighed out.

"Sorry mate didn't quite hear

Chapter 21

He felt so warm and comfortable he didn't want to move. For the first time in a long while his body felt rejuvenated and his bones didn't feel his actual age. Stefan resisted the urge to just fall back asleep, mold himself further into the deep recess of the red couch he was on but his mind kept warning him that there were things to do and they were running out of time.

He kept his eyes closed for a few more beats, taking a few deeper breaths and filling his lungs with unneeded oxygen. It felt good and he felt lighter allowing a small smile to cross his face. He could feel Elena's weight against his body as they lay on the couch, her warm breath gracing his neck as she slept just as soundly as he had.

He let his mind wonder, not focusing on anything in particular but thoughts and images of Damon were the central theme. He had learned a lot about his brother, a lot that he didn't think ever would. Things that he didn't even know was a possible. Damon had always been a mystery to him, but at the same time he thought he knew his brother. This journey into his mind and memories had proven just how much he didn't

Chapter 22

"Did you know Stefan was afraid of horses?" He said breaking the silence and Elena had looked over to him curiously but stopped it quickly.

"I said about yourself." She blinking.

"I am, I am, hold your horses." He smirked at his own pun and Elena rolled her eyes. "Anyways, Stefan was afraid of horses, which sounds reasonable now but was a huge problem back in the 19th century." He started. "He would get into carriages if he had to, mostly because of father, but he would not go near a horse.

"Now when I was 13 my father had given me this beautiful mare. She had the most beautiful dark brown coat I'd ever seen and she was so intelligent. My mother had convinced him that it was time, and though he had no love for me I was his son and therefore must make a good impression on society."

"How can your father not love you? That's not possible." Elena had protested but Damon held up his hand to silence her.

"As I was saying, I named her Jezebel and I would ride her every day. We'd go on long trots out to nowhere and then have her bring me home. Sometimes we would stay out as late as I dared, thinking that I could just run away and never came back.

"Of course I didn't. I couldn't leave Stefan behind so I went back every day. One day father decided it was time for Stefan to finally learn to ride. He was already delayed in his training as it was due to mother's fretting but father put his foot down.

"We had this pony name meriweather

Chapter 24

Chapter 24

Elena wasn't sure what she was expecting once they finally got past the door but for some what was there seemed to fit the rest of their journey. The library had been massive, a never ending black hole full of shelves and books, fire places, comfortable seating. It was beautiful and comfortable but obviously an image of imagination.

When they had first entered Damon's mind, they had been dropped right into an exact copy of his childhood home. It had been wondrous for her to see. She had seen such few images of it, being as it existed at the beginning of photography but the few daguerreotypes she had seen had not done the immaculate home justice. While she had spent a lot of time in and out of old homes and surrounded by old objects it was nothing like being there when they were shiny and new and perfect.

Their diverted path from the very real like home to the library illusion of the library had made the journey feel more supernatural. Diving into Damon's memories, collecting shards, the magical blood red vines that had hidden the door that they sought out gave the sense of something other worldly, but what lay beyond the previously locked door was anything but.

It was a bedroom.

Elena glanced over at Stefan for any sort of recongnition

Chapter 26

There was nothing Stefan could really do to cover up the murders. There were too many of them. He stood to the side of the wooded area next to Elena and Caroline as they watched the police and medical examiners collect the bodies and process the scene.

Between the three of them they were able to compel the police and those at the scene that it was a vicious animal attack by a pack of coyotes. Even to Stefan's ears it sounded like a cover up but they were able to disguise Damon's bite marks so no one would consider it a vampire. They'd come back later after everything is done and clean the place of any further evidence.

The other bodies along the trail Caroline had buried as she followed behind them. Stefan was sure nobody would find them so he was counting that as a win, but still things were looking very grim. Damon had just killed 35 people and now he was nowhere to be found. He would be an idiot to not to admit that he was somewhat frightened of what the future holds.

After the police released them they headed back into the woods the way they came, walking in a steady pace in the dark. The scent of blood still permeated the air and Stefan had to fight to keep himself under control. With Damon and Caroline's help he had been able to start drinking human blood, but he still had to fight the bloodlust. It was a battle he supposed he'd have to deal with for as long as he existed, but the feeling of strong and in control was something he would never give up.

Caroline reached for his hand as they walked side by side, entwining their fingers. He looked over to her with a smile and she returned it with sad eyes. He was so appreciative of her. She had no reason to help Damon and yet here she has been the whole time by their side because he was important to both him and Elena. She was the definition of a best friend.

"Ok, so...once we get back to the house I'll call my mom so she can start tracking any unusual deaths." Caroline stated firmly "Hopefully we will quickly get-"

"Elena." A soft voice came and the three of us stopped in our steps. I looked around in the dark seeing nothing at first but a second glance and there stood Damon.

***((*((*(*(***

The night drew on as Damon stared at the tombstone in front of him. He read the words over and over again and each time his heart seemed to sink lower. He never liked coming to the Mystic Falls graveyard, it held so much pain from the past but he seemed to be drawn there that night.

"Wish you were here buddy." Damon said as he sank lower into the ground, leaning against the tombstone behind him. "I could really use your advice right about now."

No reply came from it of course, just the silence of the night. Even the crickets seemed to take a night off as the only sound was the wind blowing gently in the wind. Damon wanted to reach out and smash Alaric's headstone into smithereens. He was angry at his friend for not being there, and even angrier that somehow Alaric made Damon care for him.

his own time had been lain to rest. Damon felt no real loss at reading the names upon the headstones, but he did feel a tug in his gut as each one passed his view.

He knew these people. That's what made this section of the graveyard, or of any graveyard around the world different. He had no love loss for them, not a single one, but he had known them. He had grown up with them. Some of them adults already when he was a child, and some who grew up with him, and even more still, those who were born and grew as he himself was an adult. He was associated with many of them due to his position as a founding family member, but they had only ever been acquaintances.

Damon had walked through the graves until he came to the Salvatore mausoleum. He had stared up at it for a few beats, marveling at its dark beauty before heading inside. As he read the names on the plaques he could feel his heart become numb. Amongst the names of those who had passed on after the civil war, were the names Stefan and Damon Salvatore.

No bodies lie in the caskets that were resting behind the stone walls. The mausoleum had been built around the time their half-brother, who had inherited the Salvatore estate had passed away. His son, Zachariah had built it a few years after to house the Salvatore dead. Though he knew well that his uncles had not passed on as the rest of Mystic Falls had known, he still placed two caskets in their place.

Damon had been indifferent to the gesture on the outside but inside he was touched. There was no doubt that his nephew had heard the stories about Damon from his father who had read through everything their father had ever written. His half-brother practically worshiped their father much to Damon's disgust and the fact that he still walked when he should in fact have been killed by Giuseppe, had further distressed the man.

Zachariah had been equally as frightened as his father, but Damon respected the man, as he kept their secret and at least made an attempt to make peace.

For over one hundred and seventy years Damon had never had a real friend. Sure he had acquaintances, people he would regularly consort with but he would never even for a second consider them a friend. And then Alaric Saltzman came along trying to kill him and that all went to hell. Suddenly he had a drinking buddy and confidant and it only made Damon hate him more.

"Why'd you have to die on me?" He said bitterly picking up a bit of dirt and tossing it at the stone. "I was just fine. Everything was great. Between you and Elena…" He stopped then, his hand dropping back down to the ground. His eyes prickled and he held his breath to control his emotions. "Why did you have to make me care?"

The graveyard was silent but Damon expected it to be so. He hadn't sensed anyone nearby when he had arrived, though if he were honest he really wasn't paying attention. He hadn't even known how far he had run until he came upon the sign entering Mystic Falls. Damon had stopped and stared at it for a good while, not wanting to cross the border, but there was a pull inside of himself and he didn't have the strength to fight it.

His first instinct was to go to the Boarding house. He wanted to see it again, wanted to lie in his own bed just for a little while and attempt to regain some of his equilibrium, but somehow he had been pulled to the graveyard. He had meandered amongst the oldest part of the place, where the graves of those from


End file.
